Let Me Make It Alright
by Angry Angel
Summary: [Seifer x Squall] One year after the Ultimecia incident, Squall has been mysteriously dumped by Rinoa. His friends try to help, but beings of far greater potency have already decided to meddle with the tragic SeeD's fate... [COMPLETE]
1. Frozen Concerns

** Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 1: "Frozen Concerns"

**Disclaimer:** I, unfortunately, do not own _anything_ related to the Final Fantasy series - they're property of Squaresoft, aka Square Enix. I do have my own copy of the game and it's my precious... even though my father-in-law's dogs peed on it :( Yes, I wish that was a joke. It's not. Talk about sacrilege. 

**Warning: **This story is centered around the "relationship" between two _boys_ (also called yaoi or shounen-ai). Yes, omigod, it means they're _gay_. Gay as the night's black - in my lil world, anyway. I have no way to check whether you're old enough/allowed to read this, so please proceed at your own risk. Don't come to me crying I didn't warn you and how you're scarred for life now. So, I'll say it again, this is about _two male Final Fantasy 8 characters being in love_ (please don't make me repeat it...) - namely Squall Leonhart and Seifer Almasy. Don't like it or aren't allowed to read it? Then please do us both a favor and move along.

Thank you...

Now, on with the show.

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"Hyne, could it be any fucking colder? Brrr!"

Rubbing his Ehrgeiz-gloved hands against his bare tanned arms, a teenager with eccentrically spiked blonde hair and an unusual tattoo adorning his youthful, charming features, shifted his weight in the ankle-deep snow of the Trabia plains from one foot onto the other. Next to him, a young woman with the same ravishing crop-colored hair and intent cobalt blue eyes was sighing with barely masked exasperation. Her tall, slim figure was clad in knee-high leather boots, a cozy orange wool dress and a long, light brown woolen coat, which she had wrapped around her body snugly.

"... And here I was thinking that men never get cold."

She slowly shook her head from side to side, a bemused smile curling her lips that were chafed from the cold despite frequent treatment with chapstick.

"Not this man, I tell ya. I'm freezing!" the young man growled, shivering in demonstration.

"You know, I _told_ you to bring your coat from Ragnarok, but you said you wouldn't need it. Perhaps you should have listened to me."

"Well, uh... I wasn't cold yet."

The young woman couldn't help but laugh in response. She cared deeply for the spunky young man by her side, and both of them knew only too well that his careless behavior often got him into trouble. Still, his happy-go-lucky attitude and almost childish humor were definitely some of the reasons why she loved him as much as she did.

"Hey, whatcha laughing at, Quisty?"

Her smile softened.

"You, Zell."

Her answer provoked one of those dashing smirks that always melted her stern heart and sometimes frosty temper in the matter of an instant. Zell Dincht was not a person anyone could carry hard feelings for, least of all Quistis Trepe, his girlfriend of almost one year. They were both SeeDs, stationed at the Garden of Balamb, and they had gone through the roughest of times at each other's side.

Preventing the end of the world together isn't something that passes a person by lightly.

"How much further is it, anyway? We really shouldn't have to walk at all, what's the point of us turning into damned icicles?"

"Actually, we _did_ have to walk. Remember, Squall told us to get some of these."

She pointed at the bag slung over Zell's shoulder, which contained a couple of mesmerize blades that they had acquired from two slain Mesmerizes along their way.

"Oh. Right. What does he need those for, do you know?"

Quistis shrugged her slender shoulders, still smiling.

"I think he needs them for some of the students. He didn't tell me."

Suddenly, her smile fell.

"... He hasn't told me much of anything lately."

Her boyfriend nodded thoughtfully and scratched his head, or as much as his numb fingers would allow, anyway.

"I know," he agreed uncomfortably. "He isn't the same anymore. I was kinda hoping he'd thaw out after the whole Ultimecia thing, but that was certainly a wish wasted."

"Well, he did get better for a while, I guess, but ever since Rinoa left he's been more anti-social than ever," she murmured. "He doesn't even talk to Laguna anymore, and I thought they were doing so well. It hurts me to see him like this."

"I know, sunshine. Me, too."

"Maybe Selphie and Irvine can help. We haven't seen them in months. I told Squall that we'd only check in at Trabia and say hi to them, but he's got no idea that they'll come to Balamb with us."

"Heck, he'd flip if he found out, even though I _think_ he misses them. It's been so long since we all hung out together. Man, had I known that saving the world would keep us so busy these days, I would've thought it all over twice before we went to kick Ultimecia's butt!"

Zell managed to make the smile return to his girlfriend's face, and quietly, she thanked him for that. The fact that their friend and High Commander of Balamb Garden, Squall Leonhart, had totally shut himself off from his friends over a period of months had troubled them all. They cared for the introverted, quiet teenager like a brother, but his callousness and tendency to be slow to trust made it difficult to be close to him.

Quistis shook her head, clearing her thoughts of the brooding shadows in the hope that their friends Irvine Kinneas and Selphie Tilmitt would be able to ring in a turn of the tides.

"We should really get going."

Her boyfriend let out a guttural sound somewhere between a groan and a whine, before he nodded a reluctant affirmative. Longingly, his light green eyes screened the horizon once more, in the vain hope that Trabia Garden would suddenly appear out of the vast plains of ice and snow.

"You know..." he started, his voice swaying with humor, "If I don't make it, just drag my frozen ass along and douse me in some hot chocolate once we get there! That'd make for perfect resuscitation! Actually, a long, sloppy smooch would do, too. Or a hot dog. Or..."

Heaving a long contained sigh of exasperation, Quistis rolled her eyes towards the snow-clouded sky in silent plea.

"Alright, Zell. I'll do that. Then again, maybe I'll just leave you right here and have the cocoa and hot dog all for myself."

Smirking in an unusually playful manner, Quistis waved good-bye to her stunned boyfriend and started to make for the general direction of Trabia Garden. Zell shook his head in a subtly respectful manner, secured the bag on his shoulder and charged after her disappearing figure.

"Agh, hey, wait up! C'mon Quisty! Wait for meeeee!"

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**-----------------------  
To be continued!  
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	2. Runaway

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 2: "Runaway"

_'I'll be here... I'll be waiting here... I'll be waiting for you, so if you come here, you'll find me. I promise.'_

When his slate grey eyes snapped open, his own voice whispering a promise once made was still lingering inside his head. A bitter taste was coating his tongue, like the aftermath of his dream seemed to be coating his mind. Light was streaming into his face from a window somewhere, making him groan under the sensational overload.

Squall Leonhart had awoken from a restless nap at his office desk in Balamb Garden.

Hesitantly, the brunette teenager removed his hand from underneath his chin. His arm had been supporting the weight of his head after he had fallen asleep over some boring political papers, hence his limb was feeling accordingly numb and slightly tingly. His lids were heavy over misty grey orbs, and even a few quick coughs couldn't clear the thick, sour lump in his throat.

The young SeeD and High Commander of Balamb Garden sighed arduously as he leaned back in his stiff chair and ran gloved fingers through a mess of rich, chocolate brown hair. His pale skin was contrasting sharply against his black SeeD uniform, as was the ever so dark expression carved into his delicate, perfectly chiseled features. His mysterious eyes stared at the ceiling without really seeing anything, and thin brown brows were low in an all too typical manner.

All in all, he neither looked nor felt awake. In fact, he felt more tired and drained now than he had before his short nap.

Just how long had he been sleeping, anyway?

Suddenly, Squall shot forward in his chair, causing it to almost topple over. His frosty gaze found the digits of his office clock, resulting in a mumbled gush of curse words spilling from his dry lips.

He had been dozing for well over two hours.

Nevertheless, Squall didn't feel the least bit rested. Every fiber of his lithe body, which had slimmed down even further throughout the months after the Ultimecia incident, was aching with tiredness and stress. His work as the new Commander of Garden and his own, personal issues were wringing his life out of his very bones. The former "Lion of Balamb" was starting to look like the walking dead more than anything else, but his ears were deaf to the concerns of his friends and the people of Garden.

It wasn't like his business was any of their's, anyway.

With harsh and somewhat tense movements, Squall rose to his feet and stretched his sore muscles. When he trudged to the door, his face was sporting a deep scowl over the thought of the mess he was leaving on his desk. At the same time, he didn't want to stay in this room that was still fresh with the memories of his dreams that had, once again, revolved around Rinoa and the battle with the witch Ultimecia.

As soon as the brunette caught his thoughts returning to his former girlfriend, he felt his insides crumpling painfully. Quickly, he slammed up his perfect, protective barriers against all possible emotions, numbing his heart and mind in the matter of a single moment.

"Ice prince" Leonhart _was_ an expert in this, after all.

His tall black boots carried him out of his door and away from his office at surprising speed. He didn't care the least bit about his path or his destination, as long as he could run away from his feelings, and as long as he could run away from himself.

Yet again, escape and blissful thoughtlessness were all that really seemed to matter.

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**To be continued!  
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Yes, another short chapter, I know. I thought it best to leave Squall's "entrance" and his feelings seperate, though. Worry not, there will be action and longer chapters up ahead -


	3. Long Time No See

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 3: "Long Time, No See"

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"Commander Leonhart, please come to the deck. Commander Leonhart, come to the deck, please!"

Squall stopped in his pace and rolled his eyes towards the loudspeakers embedded into the ceiling of Balamb Garden's entrance hall. As it was common these days, a significant frown was slanting his brows.

_ 'Great. So much for my peace and quiet.' _

The eighteen year-old brought his right hand to his forehead and sighed. Why couldn't they wake him up when he was in the middle of a nasty nightmare, instead of buzzing him right afterwards when he needed to be alone? Sometimes, he really hated his job.

Then again, who was he trying to kid? He _always_ hated his job.

If there was just one thing that Squall despised, it was depending upon others and, in return, having others depend on him. Now that Cid had moved to live with Edea and had passed most of his duties on to Squall, just about everyone relied on the irritated teenager. He was a hero, the savior of this world, but quite frankly, he had never asked for any of it. He wasn't even sure why he had accepted the position of Balamb Garden's Commander in the first place.

Of course, things had looked different with Rinoa by his side...

_ 'Yeah, but Rinoa is gone now. And she took everything with her. I'm so tired of this shit.' _

Squall's nose curled at the thought, and his hand lashed back down from his forehead to his right side. He straightened up mechanically and turned on the heel to return to the elevator he had just left mere seconds ago.

Obviously, if he was being called to the outside deck, a ship must have arrived.

The young Commander took the lift upstairs and walked to the exit leading to the deck. His pace was even and showed just as little emotion as the rest of his body language did. When he turned around the corner past his old room, he realized quickly on whose account he had been summoned.

"S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E!"

Squall's usually sharp vision couldn't make out much more than a blurry yellow piece of clothing before his eyes were being obscured by somebody literally jumping into his arms - a gesture that almost sent him crashing to the floor with a thud. Gasping for air, he could only perceive the faint smell of flowery perfume and hair spray, before he thought his eardrums were about to be split by a violently loud scream of delight.

"Awwwwwwww it's so good to seeeee you, Squally!"

Slowly regaining his composure, the brunette managed to pry loose the arms that were clamped vice-like onto his shoulders. Lowering his gaze slightly, his storm cloud eyes met with a pair of bright, sparkly green orbs that beamed up at him in utter bliss.

"Selphie...?"

Squall's ethereal features couldn't manage to hide the disbelief. When he looked past Selphie's glowing face, his eyes fell on a tall, auburn haired young man sporting a cowboy hat, a matching coat and a smug grin. At his sides stood Zell and Quistis, who were both watching Squall's every reaction very closely.

"Irvine? What... what are you two _doing_ here?"

His trademark frown returned to Squall's features as he fastened his hand around his right hip and shifted his weight onto his left foot. Selphie was still bouncing up and down in front of him, not bothered at all by the death glares he was shooting her and her debonair boyfriend.

"It's been sooooo long," she sighed, hands clasped and wiggling in front of her body as she jumped like a silly rubber ball.

Irvine Kinneas finally decided to step up to their old friend as well and slapped Squall's shoulder amicably.

"Long time no see, man! How you been?"

"Fine," Squall huffed vaguely as he backed down from Irvine's touch. "So why are you here?"

The brunette's steely gaze slid to Quistis and Zell, who were shifting uncomfortably under his crushing stare.

"Awww Squally, don't be so grumpy! Aren't you glad to see us? We missed you, you know!"

"That doesn't answer my question. You're supposed to be stationed at Trabia."

The cowboy named Irvine waved his hand dismissively.

"Nah... nothin' going on there right now, really, so we figured we'd drop by and see what Balamb was up to. It's been a while. We kinda missed this place, and your grumpy ass, of course."

The cowboy smirked, but he was rubbing the back of his head in distress over Squall's murderous facial expression. Apparently, Quistis and Zell hadn't been exaggerating; their brunette friend was looking terrible, and ready to chase them off the Balamb Garden grounds, for that matter. Squall had lost weight - too much to still look healthy. He was pale like a bed sheet, and his eyes and body language were radiating aggression and lethargy at the same time.

He looked sick, distant and worn out.

"Sooooo, what are we gonna do now? Oh, I know - I wanna take a walk through Garden!"

Squall ignored Selphie's zealous voice with the natural chill of frozen water. Roughly, he pushed past the flustered girl and Irvine towards the apprehensive figures of Quistis and Zell.

"This was your grand idea, wasn't it?" he bit sharply.

"Well..." Quistis cringed under Squall's death glare.

"Look, mate," Zell tried carefully, "Quistis and I have been worried about you, you know that. We just figured that, well..."

"You figured _what_, Zell?" Squall hissed dangerously.

"Irvine and Selphie are your friends, too," Zell continied. "We all worry about you! We really just wanted to make you feel better after everything that happened with Rinoa, and-"

Even the vigilant martial artist Zell didn't see Squall's hands snap forward in the blurry flash of a motion, only to wrench harshly into the spiky haired blonde's shirt. Instead, Zell found himself slammed against the wall and his eyes meeting a pair of storm blue orbs that were aflame with darkest anger.

"Don't fucking dare to mention her name, you hear me? Don't _ever_ mention her name again!"

Squall almost spat the words into Zell's shocked face, and he caused the blonde to wince fearfully. Zell had seen Squall pissed off a few times before, but he had never seen the SeeD Commander become physical and lose his temper quite like that. The brunette's face was a mask of fury, carefully suppressed pain, and pure, concentrated hatred.

If there was one thing none of the friends had ever seen before, it was a hating Squall Leonhart.

"Squall!" Quistis gasped.

"Squally, what-" Selphie pressed through the hand that she held clutched in front of her mouth.

"Hey, man, chill please!" Irvine muttered carefully, watching the brunette with apprehension, ready to interfere.

"_Shut the fuck up_!"

With a hoarse growl, Squall thrust Zell away from himself and into the hallway.

Everybody was staring at the Commander in unconcealed shock and disbelief. Squall's chest was rising erratically, matching the fast, uneven pace of his breathing. His face was stark white, but his eyes were almost black with anger.

"I don't need your help, any of you! I've never needed it! Stay the hell away from me!"

He whirled around to brush past Irvine and Selphie, both of whom had been rendered unable to move.

"Out of my fucking way!"

Squall's arm pushed Irvine aside with a predatory growl, before he disappeared around the corner that he had come from, and out of everybody's sight.

The cowboy merely gaped. There were tears pooling in Selphie's eyes. Zell still had fear written all across his features, and Quistis was petrified by what she had just seen.

Deep within, they all wanted to stop Squall, but none of them could.

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** To be continued!**

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Thanks for reading :) 


	4. The Aftermath

** =Let Me Make It Alright= **

Chapter 4: "The Aftermath" 

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"Holy Hyne, what the heck was _that_?"

Quistis, Zell, Selphie and Irvine were still standing quite dumbfounded in the hallway, looking as if a hurricane had just washed over them. Selphie's tiny body was even shaking slightly. Her boyfriend Irvine moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders protectively. Then his light blue eyes found Quistis' gaze.

"Man, I didn't think he'd be that bad." 

"He scared me," Selphie whimpered softly.

"He has been this way for a while now. Though, I'll have to say, I have not seen him lose his head quite like this before." 

Quistis was still staring into the direction in which Squall Leonhart had vanished. Zell walked up next to her, rubbing his chest with a muffled groan. 

"Are you okay, Zell?" she inquired, concern lacing her voice. 

"Yeah, I'm okay, sweetie," he replied, his face contorted wryly. "He just caught me by surprise, I guess. He lost some weight, but geez, his body still is deceiving in its strength. Good thing he didn't have his gunblade or nothing." 

"So, tell me," Irvine started, "what exactly happened that triggered this?" 

"See, that's the problem. We don't really know. I guess it all started a few months after you guys left for Trabia." 

Quistis rested her back against a wall, sighing as she started to rub her forehead to ease the headache that was raging beneath it.

"I thought that him and Rinoa were doing really well, but I guess that they weren't. Not that either of them ever talked to me about their relationship or anything, but I just figured that they were in love, you know."

"One day," Zell continued, "Rinoa went to visit her father in Deling City. Squall was supposed to catch up with her a few days later, but he never did. Instead, Rinoa called him and told him she was dumping him." 

"But why?" Selphie asked incredulously. "They seemed sooo happy when we left. She had a seeeeeerious crush on him, so why would she dump him?" 

"We don't know why. Squall never told us, and Rinoa never showed up here ever again. We tried to get a hold of her at her father's house, but she wasn't there. That was, like, four months ago. Ever since then Squall's been changing for the worse. He refuses to talk to Laguna, and if he doesn't train like a madman he locks himself up in his room or his office. He doesn't eat or sleep much anymore, either. He's been spotted in the training halls at the most ungodly hours, and well, you saw how thin he was."

The blonde instructor shook her head in exasperation, fighting down the tears that threatened to break out of her. She definitely didn't want to start crying, not in front of her friends. She had to be strong. 

"Why didn't you call us earlier?" 

Selphie started to rub her friend's arms, drawing the taller woman into a hug that Quistis gladly accepted. When they pulled apart, she seemed to have regained some of her old strength and resolve. After all, she was the oldest of the gang, and she had always been the voice of reason, no matter how ill things had gone.

"He pretty much ordered us not to. You saw him. He doesn't want anyone to know or to care. Director Cid doesn't even know. Squall says it's nobody's business but his own." 

"Well, he's wrong!" Selphie exclaimed in protest. "He's our friend, we love him! We can't let this happen!" 

"I knew you'd say that, Selph," Quistis replied with a gentle smile. "That's why Zell and I decided to ask you and Irvine for help after all."

"So, I mean, what are we gonna do now?" 

Everyone looked at Irvine, feeling more at a loss than ever. Of course, they all were Squall's friends, but it was hard forcing help upon somebody who had spent all of his life refusing it. 

"We just need to do loooots of stuff with him, take him out to have fun so he can forget about the bi... I mean, Rinoa," Selphie suggested with a lopsided smirk. 

"I tried that, Selph, I wanted to take him to Balamb and Esthar, but he wouldn't hear it. Man, Squall has never been Mister Social or anything, but this is nuts," Zell sighed.

"There has to be something we can do. We can't just watch him shovel his own tomb. Maybe if we all went on a mission together, ya know, like in the good old times?" 

Quistis nodded approvingly at the cowboy's suggestion. 

"That sounds like a pretty interesting idea, Irvine." 

"Yah, and if that doesn't work, I'll just take him out to find him a new woman!" Irvine declared with a hand that he jabbed into the air enthusiastically.

Selphie and Quistis both couldn't resist rolling her eyes at his smug comment.

"Hey," the cowboy shrugged, "at least you're smiling, ladies." 

The wide smirk that spread across Irvine Kinneas' handsome features surely was nothing short of irresistible.

"Irvine, Selphie, I am glad you two came," Quistis interrupted the charming brunette, "I know you still have lots of work to do rebuilding Trabia Garden to it's former state." 

Quistis Trepe smiled, thanking her friends with a sincere look out of her shining, cobalt blue eyes. 

"It's Squall we are talking about here. I mean, he saved us all. We owe him big time, no matter how gnarly he acts," Irvine said, rubbing the instructor's shoulder in a friendly gesture. 

"Great, we got a plan then!" Zell cried joyfully. "We'll take him on a mission, that will pull him out of his stupor in no time!" 

Selphie sighed insecurely, having lost her usual carefree nature. 

"I hope you're right, Zelly."

"Come on, we'll show you your room. Then we can go and look for Squall." 

Zell smirked widely, giving his friends a thumbs-up before he bounced away ahead of them. Quistis, Selphie and Irvine threw each other uncertain looks, not quite convinced of the ease of their mission yet, but they decided that it would be best to hold on to the only plan they had for the time being. 

Of course, things never work out the way you plan... 

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

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Ohh, two chapters in a day... I am such a little working bee I hope the quality didn't suffer, I'll probably end up making some changes to this sigh. I hope you like it anyway :) 


	5. Jurassic Park

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=Let Me Make It Alright= 

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Chapter 5: "Jurassic Park" 

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Blood was rushing through his veins, leaving him with a blunt thumping sensation inside his head and his vision snapping in and out of focus. He tried to calm himself down, but it was in vain. Grasping his forehead, he stopped for a moment in his flight from the upper deck. 

Squall felt his heart beating hard against his chest. Shifting inwardly, he tried to relax his shaking muscles. He still couldn't quite believe what had happened mere seconds ago. Never would he have thought that he could lose his temper like that, yet he had, and he knew perfectly well that he had scared the hell out of his friends. 

Rage flared up within his heart again. His _friends_ did have no right to confront him the way that they had. After all, he had given Zell and Quistis clear orders not to get Selphie and Irvine, or anyone else for that matter, involved into his situation. It was nobody's goddamned business but his own. 

Drawing a deep breath through ground teeth, he continued on his way to his room. 

As soon as he had reached the small, surgically clean apartment, he slammed the door shut behind himself and peeled his uniform off his body, which was drenched in cold sweat. He didn't even bother to take a shower. Instead, he slipped into his black and white civilian clothes, jerked a different pair of black leather gloves over his hands and snatched LionHeart off his desk.

If anything was going to take his mind off the same old painful track it was running on, it was the excitement of battle. He would be able to shut every single emotion and feeling out, if only for a little while.

And for the time being, "a little while" was a whole lot better than nothing.

Ignoring the persistent throbbing pain behind his forehead, Squall left the dormitories again and made his way to the training center. Considering that it was getting late in the evening, he didn't expect to be running into too many students, which was just the way that he liked it. He definitely didn't care what his friends were up to either, as long as they left him in peace. 

As he had expected, the training hall was quiet except for some distant T-rexaur roars and the soft humming of numerous crickets. Swiftly, he rotated his blade in his hand and switched to a more defensive pace as he penetrated deeper into the jungle environment.

For a good ten minutes, Squall didn't even come across as much as a Gratt. His spirits sank even lower, and he made a mental note to himself to re-model the training center at the next best chance. 

But then, _it_ appeared. A T-rex, bigger than any that Squall had ever encountered in Balamb Garden; a jaw full of long, ferocious teeth opened widely in anticipation, and it voiced a roar that ran a tingle down the length of Squall's spine. A humorless smirk curled the brunette's lips just slightly. 

Apparently, he was going to get some action after all.

He brought his gunblade up, unwilling to weaken the T-rex with magic before his attack. He had killed enough of the beasts to know that they weren't much of a challenge for him. Their hits hurt, but contrary to Squall Leonhart, they were neither very fast nor very agile. 

With his facial expression snapped back to its usual, emotionless state, Squall charged. 

His entire attention focused onto the enemy, he didn't even notice that somebody was watching him. 

"He is too cool," a voice whispered softly behind a bush. 

"Dude, look at his gunblade!" 

Two young Garden cadets carrying a pair of nunchaks and a knife were cowering in safe distance, hidden by a shroud of plants. Their eyes were wide with admiration and awe over Squall's swift, elegantly performed movements.

"I hope he won't see us... he hates to be watched." 

"Hehe, yeah, unlike his friend Zell..." 

"Whoa, look, dude!" 

Squall evaded a lethal attack of the Rex with the grace of a cat. Without even catching his breath, he whirled around immediately, delivering a virulent blow to the beast's side. 

"Right on!!" 

"Hey, wait a minute… Something's wrong…"

The young Commander gasped for air as soon as the tension from his last blow had left his body. His vision blurred to shadows in the matter of instants, and the former blunt pain inside his head transmuted into a caustic, scorching pang.

Squall's stance swayed. 

"Hyne, what is he doing??" 

"He-" 

Suddenly, the angry T-rex turned. With the force of a steamroller, his tail lashed out and hit the distracted SeeD in the back, sending him crashing face-forward into the dust harshly, and LionHeart far out of reach. 

"Squall!" yelped one of the boys. 

The brunette didn't hear him. He raised to his lower arms shakily, but before he managed to pry himself off the sandy floor the Rex was already towering above him, his widely ajar jaw reaching for the body below. 

Storm grey eyes torn open in shock, Squall barely managed to dodge the deadly fangs. He rolled aside and slammed up his arm in the vain attempt of casting a spell, when the T-rex's tail hit him again with full force, square across his entire body. 

Afar from him, the boys watched from their hide-out how the black clad figure was sent through the dirt against a tree strung across the road, where it finally came to a crooked halt and remained disturbingly motionless. 

"Squall!" 

"We've gotta help him, he's wounded!"

"You go call for help, I am gonna try and distract it with my magic!"

While one boy scrambled to his feet and ran out of the hall as fast as he could, the other turned into the opposite direction and towards the Rex, which was quickly appraoching Squall's lifeless body. 

"Hey, you! Ugly maggot! I'm over here! Yoohoo! Come get me if you can!"

Immediately sidetracked by the unexpected voice behind it, the T-rex surceased from its former opponent to face the new one. Large yellow eyes met disturbed blue ones. The young boy gulped. 

"Uh-oh. It's working." 

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

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Oh no, Squall needs to be saved by a kid 0.o! Or does he? Muahaha. Guess he isn't going on a mission just yet :( 

Many thanks for the wonderful reviews again, you guys are sooo helpful! Cookies for all :D! 


	6. Rescue Team

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=Let Me Make It Alright= 

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Chapter 6: "Rescue Team" 

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"Help, somebody, please! Anybody!! We need help here!!" 

Selphie, Irvine, Quistis and Zell were torn from their conversation on their way from the dormitories. They had dropped off Selphie's and Irvine's luggage and checked to see if Squall was in his room, but had found the small apartment rather deserted. Thus, they had complied with Selphie's wish to take a walk through Garden. They had barely left the cafeteria with a hot dog each, when the heartthrobbing cry of a student caught their undivided attention. 

"What's going on there?" Quistis asked, concern overshadowing her typically stern voice.

"I think that came from the training center." 

Throwing each other glances that required no words, they dropped their hot dogs into the nearest trash bin and hurried for the entrance to the training hall. A young boy, barely older than twelve, came stumbling towards them, fear glowing in his eyes.

"Timothy, what's wrong?" Quistis asked sternly, holding her arm out to stop the boy. 

"It... it's Commander Leonhart, he… I… We…" 

Panic now lit up in Quistis' cobalt blue eyes as well.

"Calm down, Tim. We're here to help. Now tell me, what's wrong with Squall? Where is he?"

"In... in the training center. He's with Kenny, he... he's wounded."

"Wounded? Who's wounded?" Zell asked, grasping Timothy's shoulder. 

"Commander Leonhart."

"Hyne," Quistis gasped, "lead us there! Quick!"

The boy nodded and turned around on the spot, the four friends right on his heels as he led them into the maze that was the training grounds. Fortunately, Timothy Brendis was a student blessed with an excellent memory; in the matter of a few minutes, he had found the spot where he had originally left his friend and his Commander. 

The five of them were greeted by deep, beastly roars.

"Oh... my..." 

At the sight of Squall's motionless body laying in the dirt and a young student trying to keep a monstrous T-rexaur at bay with simple magic attacks, Selphie Tilmitt felt as if she was about to faint.

"Squall!!" Zell screamed at the top of his lungs, causing the Rex to shift focus once more.

"We need to help them," Quistis hissed, "But we don't have our weapons. Zell, keep his attention for a moment so he will leave Kenny alone!" 

Her blonde boyfriend nodded. With a grave look plastered across his features, he cracked his knuckles. Zell had never been much good with magic, but he was extraordinarily fast, gifted with the awesome evasion skills of a martial artist. Without hesitating but a second, he rushed past the startled boy named Kenny, glancing back only briefly. 

"Go to the others, I'll take care of this!" 

When the relieved youth met up with his friend and the older SeeDs, Quistis turned to them with the calmest look she could muster.

"Tim, Kenny, I need you two to stay here and out of the way, okay? You did very well. Selphie, we need to immobilize the Rex before he harms Zell or Squall. Do you have any sleep or stop spells junctioned?" 

The dark blonde girl still seemed slightly dishevelled in her panic, but she nodded. 

"Yes, I have both of them." 

"Okay, you and Zell take care of the Rex then. Irvine and I will get Squall out of there. You don't need to kill it, just give us enough time to take care of Squall!" 

"Okay!" 

Finally back to her full spirits, Selphie jabbed her fist into the air with an eager cry. Her green eyes glinting unusually devilish, she rushed to Zell's aid. 

Irvine and Quistis remained in their spots, waiting and watching anxiously how Zell dodged the Rex's attacks until Selphie finally managed to land a flawless sleep spell. As soon as they had assured themselves that the T-rex was doubtlessly immobilized, both Selphie and Zell gave their friends a thumbs-up.

"Go!" Quistis commanded sharply, prodding Irvine into his side impatiently.

They were down on their knees and next to Squall's beat-up frame in the matter of an instant. Quistis turned the brunette over carefully, letting her eyes roam over every inch of his violated body. Her trained blue mage's gaze spotted several superficial injuries, yet, to her relief, nothing life-threatening. 

"How is he?" Irvine asked nervously while glancing back at his girlfriend, who was watching attentively over the T-rex's forced slumber. 

"It's hard to say, but he should be okay. He's just unconscious. I'll cast a cure on him to hold him over until he's safe at the infirmary." 

The blonde instructor let her slender hands hover over Squall's body, where they shed a soft blue light that was quickly absorbed by the young man's skin. Squall moaned ever so slightly and his features were twitching feverishly, but he didn't wake up. 

"Your turn, Irvine," Quistis sighed as she raised up. "Careful!" 

The cowboy nodded assertively as he slid his arms underneath Squall's back and and the hollow arch of his knees. When he unfolded his legs beneath his body, now fully bearing all of his friend's weight, he was quite glad that Squall wasn't exactly a heavy weight champion. The brunette rested in Irvine's arms with ease, cradled by a man who was both stronger and taller than him.

Seeing that Squall was being taken care of, Selphie launched a quick stop spell at the sleeping Rex and turned around.

"Let's go, Zell, Squally needs us!" 

The martial artist nodded approvingly and followed her to the others. Selphie winced when she saw Squall's battered figure, and once again tears were pooling in her eyes and threatened to spill across her cheeks. She was a kind girl, and seeing one of her best friends hurt was enough to break her gentle heart. 

"Oh my gosh, will he be okay?" she sobbed, running a hand over Squall's bruised and dust-strewn facial features.

"Yes, don't worry, Selph. We need to take him to Doctor Kadowaki, she knows best what to do. Let's go." 

The group left the training center almost as quickly as they had entered it. All of them cast glances at their unconscious friend and superior, who was limp in Irvine's arms. 

Glances that were throbbing with nothing but concern.

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

========== 

Oooooh and yet another chapter. Pooh. I am SO done for today lol. 


	7. Once More With Feeling

**

"Let Me Make It Alright" 

**

Chapter 7: "Once More With Feeling" 

==========

"QUESTION!" 

Emerald orbs rolled towards the sky pleadingly at the sharp comment, which was equally a question and an order at the same time. 

A tall blonde cleared his throat and turned around in his spot. 

"'Sup?" 

His voice was husky, almost as if his favorite pastime consisted of gargling gravel. 185 pounds of muscles were well distributed over his 6'1" frame, which was aptly clad in a long grey trench coat, heavy boots, loose black pants and a pale, worn out olive green shirt. His facial features were strong and angular, framed by perfectly straight, gelled back blond hair. 

He was Seifer Almasy, oozing manliness from every pore, and he was fully aware it.

"Deling City. Why are we here?" 

The short woman at his side had a pretty face, but it was mostly obscured by her long tresses of silvery-white hair and a large, black eyepatch. She was dressed in rather masculine clothes that hid her feminine figure very well. At first sight, she could have easily been mistaken for a man. 

Seifer smirked at that thought, immediately picturing his friend Fujin in the same lavatory as himself, doing things that he wasn't even quite sure that he really wanted to see.

Damn, drifting off again.

"Ya, Seifer, why we here, Deling City ain't very friendly with us no more, ya know." 

Shaking his head in exasperation, Seifer tapped the edge of his gunblade Hyperion against his shoulder. Mentally, he cursed himself for taking Fujin and her slightly moronic siamese twin Raijin along. The latter was even taller and bulkier than Seifer himself, dressed in a somewhat savage-like fashion and gifted with a brain the size of a pea. Both him and Fujin could be extremely annoying, particularly when thrown together, but on the other hand, they were the only friends that Seifer was left with. 

Taking it even further, they were probably the only friends that Seifer Almasy had ever had.

"I told you knuckleheads that I'm looking for work here. It's not like I told you to tag along, so quit whining." 

"Seif, we're yer friends, ya know. Can't leave ya alone here, ya know." 

The left corner of Seifer's mouth raised in sync with his left eyebrow at that comment, causing the slanted scar across the bridge of his nose to crinkle just slightly. 

"I can handle myself pretty well on my own, thank you." 

"Why Deling City? They know you here. Stupid." Fujin huffed, arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Hey now, watch who you're calling stupid, Fu! Fact is, they know me everywhere," the blonde shrugged. "I might as well start out in a place I feel somewhat familiar with. After all, I've been sitting out long enough." 

He secured the holster of his blade at his belt again and adjusted the position of the duffel bag he had been lugging around on his shoulder, before he eventually screened their surrounding with an attentive eye. They had barely entered Deling City and now stood near the entrance to the train station, watching cars and buses pass by in a mad scurry. It was well after ten at night, but Deling City was one of those places that never fell quiet. 

"OK. Work, where?"

"Ya know," Seifer purred, "you really need to get better at the talking thing, Fu." 

She shot him a death glare that reminded him very much of one that he had seen many times before. The face of a dark haired, perma-scowling pretty boy materialized in Seifer's head, but he pushed the image away quickly. If there was one person that he really did _not_ feel like thinking about that moment, it was "holier-than-thou" puberty boy Leonhart. 

Seifer gave a rasp chuckle at the memory of said brunette, which caused both of his friends to shoot him confused glances. He merely dismissed them with a wave. 

"Right. Guess we might as well try downtown." 

He led them to one of the numerous bus stops, where they caught the first vehicle that took them to the heart of the city: the shopping mile. 

Lights flickered at them fully from all around. Cars, shops, hotels, bars - Deling City sure carried its famous nightlife reputation for a reason. 

Seifer let his jade green eyes roam the facades, searching for nothing in particular, when his attention was snared by the sudden eruption of a hard, male voice behind them. 

"Hey, you!" 

He turned slowly, fully aware of the hostility that laced the man's voice. Throughout the past months, Seifer had gotten awfully used to being assaulted from behind, more often than not for the crimes that he had commited under Ultimecia's control.

All in all, he had certainly learned to pick up on a potential fight when it crossed his path. 

"You talking to me?" 

He narrowed his eyes at the sight of five men lined up behind him and his friends, who had already turned around as well. His right hand immediately found the hilt of his Hyperion, but he decided not to draw it just yet. 

"Yah I am talking to you, _sorceress knight_." 

It didn't take the man spitting on the ground for Seifer to make out the rather obvious insult. Groaning in exasperation, he shifted his weight onto one foot and carelessly dropped his bag, zeroing his emerald gaze in on the man's face. The guy looked to be in his late thirties, dressed in simple clothes that gave away the blue-collar worker. His friends appeared to root from the same social environment, all of them too easily deceived and angered by things that they didn't even came close to understanding.

Seifer sighed. 

He had come across this particular kind of men far too many times.

"And what could I possibly do for you?" he mocked. 

"We'll pay you back for all the shit that's happened!" 

"Hn. Funny, I don't recall ever meeting you." 

"Yah, but your goddamned troops did when you were still the sorceress' lapdog!" 

"Well, ain't I deeply fucking moved now," Seifer spat sarcastically, scorn glinting in the depths of his predatory green eyes. 

"You're going to pay for it, Almasy!" 

"Can't wait." 

The blonde smirked cockily as he finally unsheathed his blade. Next to him, Fujin had drawn her throwing star and Raijin had steadied his oak staff in his huge hands. Their opponents obviously couldn't match neither their weapons nor their skills, but to Seifer's surprise that didn't seem to bother them the least bit. Only two of them were carrying guns, the other three were completely unarmed. 

_'Fucking idiots.'_

Almasy frowned inwardly at the thought of fighting men without arms. On the other hand, they most certainly _had_ asked for a beating. 

"If you want me to part you a new asshole, be my guest," he jeered. 

The man spat out again, fury flaring in his pale grey eyes. 

"Asshole, huh?" he suddenly sneered. "Fucking faggot." 

It wasn't until then that something inside Seifer Almasy snapped. He was used to a cornucopia of insults all aiming to strike his chords, but the only one that managed to rise his temper was the accusation of him being gay.

Maybe because it was true? 

Growling, Seifer violently squashed the thought as he lashed forward and punched the man square in the face for his chancy insult. Despite the fact that it was only a left hook, he sent the man crashing to the floor with a loud thud. 

"Ah, shit!" 

The other men withdrew slightly, obviously taken by surprise. They hadn't expected the former sorceress knight to be quite as impressive as he turned to be. 

Seifer towered above the startled guy, who was rubbing his aching jaw arduously. 

"Any other requests for a face remodelling?" he hissed hotly. 

Just as the men were about to shake their heads and retreat, a loud voice cut in behind Seifer.

"What the hell is going on here?" 

With a swirl of his long coat, Seifer Almasy turned around and stood face-to-face with a group of black-clad young men and women that he estimated to be around his age. In the length of a heartbeat, his conscience had soaked up everything there was to know about them. 

Everything that mattered, anyway. 

"Great... just my fucking luck..." 

He lowered his head, sighing like a wounded animal.

_SeeDs. _

  
  


** "To be continued!" **

==========

Teeeheee... so this was Seifer's grand entrance, I hope you liked! He cusses quite a bit, but that's kinda how I imagine him, I guess. I hope nobody is insulted hehe. 


	8. Hitting Rock Bottom

** =Let Me Make It Alright= **

Chapter 8: "Hitting Rock Bottom" 

==========

Soft shadows were dancing across his still, marble features and his closed eyelids. A mild breeze brushed his ivory skin and his chocolate brown hair, as his nose sucked in the faint smell of dewy grass and summer rain. Ever so slowly, his senses started to stir and bristle within him. 

"I think he's waking up..." 

A whispered voice cut through his daze, calling his conscience to fully wake at last. His eyelids moved lazily, hesitantly peeling open to reveal misty orbs of steel grey. He blinked languidly as he wasn't yet able to see more than mere shadows. Finally, said shadows seemed to materialize, though, and he recognized his friends Irvine and Quistis as they were looking down upon him anxiously. 

Sighing, he closed his eyes again and tried to focus on getting a better feeling for his body, but that proved to be rather difficult. His muscles felt heavy and numb on his bones, as if he had just awoken from a thousand year long slumber. 

Eventually, he pushed himself to take another averse look at his friends and his surrounding. He didn't really have to glance around to know that he was in the infirmary. Stringily, the memory of what had happened in the training grounds came seeping back to him as he stared blankly at one of the chalk white walls that were surrounding his bed.

"Squall." 

Reluctantly, he let his gaze slide over to Quistis and her amazingly deep blue eyes, which she had fixed upon him attentively. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked softly. 

Even if he didn't particularly felt inclined to answer that question, or any questions for that matter, Squall made an earnest attempt at listening to his body. Quite frankly, he couldn't find a part that didn't hurt or felt like a dead piece of rock. Drawing his breath seemed difficult, and a shallow pain was still jabbing in the crevices of his head. His skin was burning like fire in several places, obviously cut open and grazed to the flesh. 

"Fine," he growled. 

Quistis and Irvine exchanged glances that Squall wasn't quite able to put his finger on. They were worried, obviously, but there was something else, too. 

"What happened?" he finally asked flatly, his voice almost cracking from the strain.

"We found you in the training grounds," Quistis started carefully, "you were wounded and unconscious. A student alarmed us, him and his friend were the first to find you. One of them sought our help, while the other tried to keep the T-rex at bay that had injured you… it was a close call."

Squall turned his head in the fluffly depths of his pillow in shame. Saved by a student, probably not even a SeeD cadet… could he possibly stoop any lower? 

"Your body was totally worn out, Squall. It still is," the blonde girl continued, "you could have died." 

"I'm fine," Squall hissed again, sick and tired of repeating himself. 

To Irvine's and Quistis' shock, their brunette friend suddenly made an attempt at raising up in his bed. The cowboy's hand immediately snapped forward, pushing Squall back into the covers gently but decisively. 

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked in mildly taunting disbelief. "You can't get up." 

"Take your hands off me, Kinneas!" 

Rocking back at the unexpectedly fierce order, the long haired man quickly obeyed. The raw edge in Squall's voice cut like a knife. 

"Where's my gunblade?" 

Again, Quistis and Irvine exchanged very uncomfortable looks.

"Squall... you lost it in the training grounds. Zell and Selphie went back to look for it after we had you safe under Doc Kadowaki's care, but..." 

"But _what_?" Squall choked in bitter anticipation. 

Quistis' head lowered in despair, avoiding her friend's gaze. 

"They couldn't find it. They were looking for hours, but... they had no luck."

_ 'Oh god.' _

"Tell me you're joking." 

"I'm so sorry, Squall. Please, don't worry, I know we'll find it! We'll take care of it, Squall. You just stay here and rest." 

Groaning, the brunette folded his right, hospital-shirt clad arm across his face. Things just couldn't be happening, it had to have been a nightmare. First he needed to get his ass saved by a student, then he lost the most precious thing that he had ever owned. 

Great. Just great.

"Get out." 

"Squall..." 

The arm was lifted anew from his face in a harsh movement, revealing eyes burning with anger and humiliation. 

"I said _get out_, both of you!" he spat venomously. 

Her hand clutched in front of her mouth, Quistis started for another attempt to calm Squall's wild heart down, but Irvine touched her shoulder, motioning her to get up. 

"Come on," he whispered stonily. "Leave him alone for a while." 

Still hesitant to comply, Quistis had to be pulled up by her friend and ushered outside, leaving behind a brunette young man with the coldest and hardest look plastered across his flawless pale features. 

As soon as the door to Squall's room fell shut behind them, Quistis drew a deep breath, clasping her chest with one hand. With wisps of her long blond hair dancing aimlessly around her face, she shook her head slowly. 

"Quistis, did he wake up?" 

The instructor looked up into the apprehensive, gentle features of Balamb Garden's physician. Quistis had always admired the older woman for her strength and resolution, and she was glad to have a rock to crash on. 

"He's not doing well, Doc. He's very shook up over what happened." 

"Yah, he kicked us out," Irvine added, scratching his head with a rather dumbfounded expression.

"That silly boy," Kadowaki frowned, "he is lucky to have friends like you. He could have died there last night, if you and the kids wouldn't have come to his aid." 

"He's very proud," Quistis mused, "he doesn't like to accept help at all." 

"Well, he needs to now, whether he likes it or not," Kadowaki said sternly, placing her hands on her hips.

Suddenly, she sighed. 

"It's not the wounds he suffered from the T-rexaur that worry me. Squall's body has been pushed beyond its limits. He's worn out over and above exhaustion. Judging by his blood test results and his weight loss, he hasn't been eating much, if anything. Apparently, that doesn't stop him from slave-driving his poor body, though. He's been draining all his powers down to the very last, life saving reserves. He can't keep going like this, or it won't take a T-rex to kill him." 

Irvine and Quistis were thunderstruck. Deep down, they had known only too well how bad things were looking for Squall, but actually hearing the words spoken out loud was far worse than they had imagined. Quistis felt at the verge of breaking down in tears. 

"We should call Director Cid," she whispered with a voice that was choked by barely suppressed sobs. 

"Yes, definitely. This is my fault, too. I should have been suspicious when I didn't see him at all the last two months. I figured he was just busy, and I had enough to do with the new students that were admitted." 

Even a woman as strong as Doctor Kadowaki felt at a loss over Squall's condition.

"By the way," Irvine suddenly interrupted the silence, "he tried to get up from his bed. Is he allowed to do that?"

"No," the doc shook her head decisively, "he most certainly is not. I will see to prevent that from happening. You two go and call Cid, I'll take a look at our problem child. And Quistis..." 

The young blonde glanced up. 

"Get some rest, you have been sitting by his bed ever since he got here. You need sleep just as much as everyone else does, sweetheart."

Quistis sighed. She wasn't tired; her head was filled with worries over Squall. She couldn't quite shut out the thought that she should have acted much sooner. 

"Yes, I will." 

Forcing herself to smile, she inclined her head towards the doctor in a respectful gesture. She only took a brief side-glance at the door to Squall's room, before she nodded at Irvine and both of them left the infirmary with their hearts weighing heavier than stones.

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

========== 

Sigh Well, this chapter wasn't all that much fun, but it was necessary I guess :( I can't believe you guys picked up on the LionHeart thing, that is so cool I am so happy to know that you're actually reading the silly stuff I write 0.o It makes me work extra-hard! 


	9. Guess What

**

=Let Me Make It Alright= 

**

Chapter 9: "Guess What" 

========== 

The night of that very same day, a ship arrived at Balamb Garden, bearing the facility's headmaster Cid Kramer and his wife, Edea, formerly the sorceress that had been possessed by the evil witch Adel. On top of that, Edea had been the matron of the orphanage that Squall and all of his friends had spent a greater part of their childhood at. The Kramer couple had heeded Quistis Trepe's call immediately, when they had heard about Squall Leonhart's accident and his deteriorating physical condition. 

Zell Dincht and Irvine Kinneas had already been awaiting their arrival anxiously at the deck. 

"Zell, Irvine!" 

A smile spread across Edea's porcelain features as she hugged both of her former protegees tightly. She stepped about an arm's length away from them, screening their figures carefully out of attentive amber oculates. 

"You two have grown since we last met," she chuckled. 

Zell and Irvine rubbed their heads in slight embarassment as well as subtle pride. When Cid walked up to them with a wide smile stretching the corners of his mouth, they offered him a crisp salute. 

"Director Cid, Sir!" 

"No need for the formalities, boys."

Even though he was glad to see his students and his Garden again, Cid's smile faded quickly, and he looked older than the two friends had ever seen him before. Concern was visibly carved into his old, benignant features. 

"Where is he?" 

There was of course no doubt about the object of Cid's question. Zell nodded towards the direction of the elevator. 

"He's in the infirmary. Do you want to see him now, or do you want to rest first?" 

"We want to see him now. Quistis' call worried us terribly, that is why we came here so quickly," Edea explained.

"Okay," Zell nodded, "We'll take you to him, then." 

While they were they were being led through the familiar, yet slightly changed environment of Balamb Garden, the Kramers couldn't help but pierce the two young men with curious questions. 

"Quistis said that Selphie was here here, too," Edea started.

"Yes, she is, she came with Irvine. I think she's in Squall's office right now taking calls or something."

Once again, Cid's face seemed to turn to stone, and a distinct shadow of guilt struck his features. 

"I should have known better. It was all way too much for Squall, all this responsibilty. This is my fault, I shouldn't have left him alone here."

"I think this doesn't just have to do with his job," Zell tried to reassure their director, "he's been having lots of problems with his love life and stuff..."

"Oh, him and Rinoa are having problems?"

"Well, erh... actually..." 

The blonde martial artist gulped and shifted uncomfortably under the apprehensive stares of the couple.

"They like, broke up. Months ago." 

Edea's tawny eyes lit up in surprise and concern over Zell's words. 

"Are you serious? Why haven't we heard anything about that?" 

"Squall chose to have it remain a secret. So… we kinda had to obey."

"That silly, silly boy." Edea sighed compassionately. 

"Does Laguna Loire know about all this?" 

For the first time, that thought really occured to the young blonde and his auburn haired friend. It probably would have been a wise move to notify Squall's father and tell him what had happened. Accordingly embarrassed, Zell shook his spiky head and slumped his shoulders.

"No, we really kinda forgot about that." 

"Quistis told us that Squall hasn't talked to his old man in months, though," Irvine added in the vain attempt to help his friend. 

"Well, that's no reason to keep him out of this. I will contact Laguna later. Where is Quistis now?" 

"She's sleeping in my room," Zell blushed. "She was really tired. Selphie cast a sleep spell on her so she could get some rest." 

"Ah yes, that is understandable," the old man nodded. 

They remained quiet the rest of their way, until they eventually found themselves in the small waiting room of doctor Kadowaki's infirmary. The Garden physician greeted her old friend Cid amicably, hugging him as well as his wife. 

"I hope the air at the shore is doing you good, Cid," she said, carefully screening his face.

"Yes, yes, it is. I'm just worried right now, I suppose. Tell me, how is Squall's condition?" 

"Well, he's exhausted, to put it simply. His mind and body are totally devoid of any energy, which is causing him all sorts of problems. I think he has given up on himself and everything around him. He refuses to eat and drink, and he doesn't talk unless he practically has no other choice. To make matters worse, he broke a few bones in the fight with the T-rex, and unless he is willing to let his body heal, no curega of this world can help him." 

"That sounds more serious than I had feared," Cid sighed gravely. 

"Can we see him?" Edea asked. 

"Yes. I had to strip him from all of his GF's and used a special paralysis potion of mine on him to keep him from scrambling out of bed. He might be exhausted beyond anything he has ever experienced, but that doesn't seem to stop him from thinking that he's invincible and stubbornly refusing all help." 

"What about the eating problem?" 

"He's hooked onto the IV and hating it, of course. But this is no long-term solution. He needs to re-gain his will to live. I wish there was a way to figure out what happened that triggered this self-destructive side of his." 

"I'm going to talk to his father Laguna later," Cid mused, "Maybe he knows more."

"I do hope so." 

"Let's go in and see him." 

Doc Kadowaki opened the door to Squall's sick room. The evening sun was pushing through the window in gentle rays, casting ful shadows over the motionless body resting calmly in the white hospital bed. Steel blue eyes opened immediately at the sound of careful footsteps, and they quickly snapped their focus to the five people that had entered the room.

"Hello, Squall." 

Squall's pair of perfect eyebrows arched in confusion and mild irritation at the sight of his new and unexpected visitors. 

"Cid and... Edea?" 

His former matron sank down on a chair next to his bed and grasped his cold, pale hands without paying any attention to his body flinching or his eyes narrowing defensively. 

"Squall." 

That was all she said, holding him with her warm amber gaze while everyone else would simply watch. Squall shifted uncomfortably, or as much as his forced paralysis and the tube inserted into the crease of his arm would allow him, anyway. 

"What are you doing here?" he finally forced out between dry lips. 

"We are here to help you, Squall," the woman at his side answered, causing him to groan involuntarily.

"I don't need help. I just need to get out of this bed." 

"You need to give your body time to heal, sweetheart. You have been working it way too hard. And you need to eat."

He rolled his head aside, focusing intently on the stark white walls. He didn't want Edea and Cid around. It was hard enough to deal with his friends.

Hard enough to be cold and rigid to _them_.

Zell, Irvine, Cid and Doc Kadowaki were still watching the scene quietly, but their hearts ached at the sight of their friend refusing his matron's help. If the kind woman Edea, the person that was probably the closest thing to a mother that Squall had ever known, wasn't able to cast down the brunette's ice cold barriers, who possibly could? 

"I want to be alone," Squall's croaky voice finally came pressed from in between the covers.

Edea looked at him intently, with the warmth of a mother's love shining from her eyes. She ran her hand through his mussed up dark brown tresses and breathed a kiss on his temple, before she stood up. 

"Let him sleep," she whispered calmly to the others. 

Nobody objected. They left the room as quietly as they had entered it, closing the door behind themselves without a sound. For a while, they simply stood in the waiting room, lacking any words. Zell studied Edea's features with curiosity, but she was almost as mysterious and hard to read as Squall. 

Just as they were about to decide to call it a night and go to bed to be rested for the coming day, somebody bolted through the infirmary door with a loud thud, almost losing balance and soaring to kiss the tiled floor below her. 

"Selph?" 

Before them stood an utterly out of breath Selphie Tilmitt, hair unusually out of place and cheeks flushed in a pale shade of crimson. She was so excited and distracted that she didn't even think of greeting Cid and Edea, which surely was strange for a person as amicable and social as her.

"Gueeeeess what!!" she groaned, doubling over and holding her stomach that was aching from the run. 

"Erh, what, Selphie darling?" her boyfriend asked, tilting his form down to her's to see if she was alright. 

Suddenly, they noticed that Selphie had been clutching a piece of paper, which she was now waving in front of their faces with a certain triumphant edge to the gesture. Her eyes were now glowing suspiciously bright, and a complacent grin was plastered across her pretty features.

"You will _never_ guess what I just found out!"

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

==========

Muahaha... soo, maybe the orphanage gang can't guess, but I am sure you all! 


	10. Long Day's Journey

**

=Let Me Make It Alright= 

**

Chapter 10: "Long Day's Journey" 

==========

"Are you kidding?" 

"Seifer Almasy? _The_ Seifer Almasy?" 

Selphie shook her head wildly at her boyfriend, then nodded it just as enthusiastically at Zell. The blonde martial artist pulled his face to a grimace that didn't leave much room to wonder about his opinion on "_the_ Seifer Almasy". 

"So what do you mean, you 'found' him?" 

"Weeeeell, it wasn't really me, you see. It was some SeeDs from Galbadia Garden," she shrugged. "They snatched him up causing trouble in Deling City together with Fujin and Raijin!" 

Selphie giggled at the thought, whereas the rest of the group didn't seem too entirely amused. 

"Did he hurt anyone?" Cid inquired carefully. 

"Naaaaw, he just smacked the heck out of some meanie that was making fun of him for being the sorceress' knight or something." 

Edea cringed slightly at that statement. She still had a hard time reminding herself that it hadn't been her that had mind-controlled Seifer Almasy, that it hadn't been her making him do all those horrible things. 

Edea's husband understood her dread immediately, and he looked down upon her full of pride and understanding. 

"It wasn't you fault, love. It was Ultimecia, don't forget that." 

"I know, I know. Still, I feel responsible for what happened." 

"Edea..." 

She dismissed his concern with a wave of her long, slender hands and a smile, quietly thanking him for caring but at the same assuring him that she was just fine. 

"So, erh, what do you expect us to do, Selph?" Irvine broke the moment. 

"We'll take him here, of course!" 

Selphie frowned as if that answer had been nothing short of obvious.

"Seifer? _Here_? I don't like that idea at all," Zell snarled. 

"I know you don't like him, Zelly, but he could be helpful, you know." 

"How could his annoying ass possibly be helpful? He's just a loud mouthed troublemaker, him and his dim-witted posse."

"Yeah, okay, he's a teeeeny bit difficult, but I think he'd be good for Squally." 

Both Irvine and Zell gasped at the idea, their eyes just about ready to pop out of their sockets, while Selphie looked totally content and proud of herself. 

"_HIM_? Good for Squall? He's about as good for Squall as a bucket of chocobo dung!!" Zell groaned. 

"Aww just listen to me, Zelly! Wasn't Seifer always the one that could raise Squally's temper? That's what you told me, remember? And I know it was like that when we were kids, too." 

"Great, okay, so right now we got a lethargic and repulsing Squall, and as soon as Seifer's ass shows up here we'll have a pissed off and murder-lusting Squall. Great improvement, Selph," the blonde snarled sarcastically.

Selphie's lips jutted into a pout, but before she could retaliate Zell's cynism with a mouthful of her own, Cid suddenly raised his voice. 

"You know, she might be right." 

All heads turned to the director. 

"With all due respect, Director, but what's the point of getting Squall more pissed off than he already is and all?" Irvine wondered. 

"Anything is better than his current apathy. Somebody needs to wake his spirits, and from what I have heard and seen, Seifer Almasy was always rather successful at breaking through to Squall." 

Selphie bounced up and down, obviously still very in favour of her own idea. Zell and Irvine still didn't seem entirely convinced, which was probably due to the fact that they disliked Seifer just as much as Squall did. 

Or so they thought, anyway. 

"Where is he right now, Selphie?" the director continued. 

"Weeeeell," she jabbed her finger at some vague line on the paper, "On this fax it says that they are keeping him in Galbadia Garden for now. They wanted Squall's opinion on what to do with him." 

"I think you're right. You should send a team there to pick him up and take him here as soon as possible. Don't tell Squall for now, we better keep this a secret until we have talked to Seifer." 

"Director-" 

Zell commenced another attempt at objecting to the idea, but was quickly silenced by Doctor Kadowaki, who had been watching the scene silently thus far. 

"Tatata, Cid is right. None of us was able to even pinch as much as a hole into Squall's shell yet, and we don't have the time to wait for him to open up himself. We all know that he'd rather drop dead on the spot, anyway. And you boys don't want that to happen now, do you?" 

Her stern gaze rooted Irvine and Zell to the spot feeling extremely guilty and uncomfortable. They shook their heads sheepishly, which was greeted by a triumphant giggle from Selphie's side. 

"Yay, it's final, then! We'll go and pick Seify up, Seify up!" 

She finished her sentence with a little victory dance that caused the people around her to sweat-drop in dismay. 

"Quistis will be delighted to hear the news," Zell groaned, slumping his shoulders. 

"She'll understand," Edea soothed him, "I understand your frustration, Zell, but we need to do whatever we can to help Squall." 

"Yeah, but Seifer-" 

"If it doesn't work, we can always kick his ass back to the curb, I reckon," Irvine suddenly mused, a strange glow alight in his cerulean eyes. 

"Fine. Just make sure that it'll be my pleasure to take care of that," Zell added. 

At the possible chance of kicking Seifer Almasy's butt once again, the two young male SeeDs suddenly didn't seem quite as grumpy anymore, and they caught themselves daydreaming of ways to remove the perma-smirk from their archrival's face. 

"Well, damn. Guess I'm gonna tell Quistis, if she's awake," Zell sighed. 

"I'll take Cid and Edea to their rooms," Irvine offered, "I'll meet you in our room, Selph." 

The group grinned at the kiss that Irvine Kinneas placed on his girlfriend's head, which caused the tiny girl to jerk her hand up and shoo him away. 

"My haaair!" 

Under soft chuckles, Irvine threw both his arms and eyebrows up in defeat. 

"My bad, my bad." 

She shook her head in played anger, but of course she was easy prey to her boyfriend's boyish charm, and thus she glomped him tightly. After she was finished with Irvine, she hugged everyone else in the room, too. 

"I'm sooo glad to see you two again!" she said to Cid and Edea, who both smiled at her. 

"Nighty night!" 

Waving her little hands frantically, she bounced out of the room, closely followed by Zell, who was caught somewhere between being upset and being humored. 

Edea and Cid both said good-night to the doctor, before they let Irvine lead them to their room. When the cowboy left them, he sighed quietly and tilted his hat lower into his face. 

A long, long day was finally over. 

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

==========

Ohhh so many reviews! Thank you guys so much, I hope you'll somewhat enjoy this chapter, too. Things are finally starting to move. 


	11. Peaches and Cream

**

=Let Me Make It Alright= 

**

Chapter 11: "Like Peaches And Cream" 

==========

"Well this is just fucking _peachy_!" 

Seifer Almasy's hand sliced the air harshly before it came to a thudding halt at the nearest wall. A deep frown was etched into his features, eyes glittering rapturously as he slammed his anger and frustration into the concrete. A fierce growl escaped his throat, guttural like the cry of a wild beast. 

Finally, his body relaxed and he slumped down onto the narrow bed of his isolated cell. The tall blonde's thoughts wandered off to his friends, wondering if they had been thrown into just another cell in Galbadia Garden, or if, unlike him, they had simply been released. Either way, _he_ was stuck, and that thought didn't appeal to him at all. 

He couldn't quite determine how long he had been held captive in the Garden prison already, but he figured that it had to have been two days at least. They had brought him food and water, but nobody had actually bothered to tell him anything of importance. For the life of him, Seifer just couldn't figure out of what use he could possibly be to the Galbadian SeeDs of all people. 

Way back when, after the Ultimecia incident, Squall Leonhart had let him take his leave without asking any questions. Yes, back then, Seifer had felt free, physically at least. Naturally, his mind was still returning to the evil witch Ultimecia and her obscure tortures quite frequently, but he had learned to live with it, and even gotten used to it in a way that was hardly explainable. 

Being caught in a prison cell, however, was _not_ something Seifer Almasy would ever get used to, or even accept, for that matter. 

Just as he had reclined his back against the wall and closed his eyes in the feeble attempt to get at least _some_ sleep, his attention was stirred by the electronic hiss of his cell door opening. His eyelids snapped open in that never quite latent form of passive alert right away, and his emerald gaze zeroed in on his visitors. 

"Was about fucking time you-" 

The rest of the sentence got stuck half-way in Seifer's throat as his mind finally processed the image that his eyes had fed it. Standing in the doorframe were two figures, one just slightly shorter than the other. The first belonged to a slender, long haired blonde female with piercing blue eyes and aristocratic features, whereas the latter was slightly taller and more muscular in his build, and actually turned out to be a young man with spiked blonde tresses and a black tattoo that snaked intricately across his left cheek. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." 

Seifer stood up slowly, all the while not taking his eyes off the two young visitors in front of him. They looked at him quietly, both screening his frame and his face with different spectrums of feelings spilling from their features. 

"The chickenwuss and the instructor. The hell are you doing here?" 

The spite had returned to Seifer's rasp voice, fueling his eyes with arrogance and barely hidden glee. He noted the anger burning from Zell's blue orbs as fires of sapphire, but the martial artist was apparently trying to restrain himself and his quick temper. His hands were gloved and locked to fists, but they remained slightly shaking at his sides as he stared blankly at his old archrival, Seifer Almasy. 

"Seifer," Quistis finally broke the silence stiffly. 

He gave her his trademark smirk, tipping a non-existent hat in an impressive imitation of politeness. She merely rose a perfectly plugged eyebrow at the gesture, folding her arms in front of her chest tightly as her lips thinned to a line. 

"We're here to pick you up." 

"Pick me up, eh? To go where?" 

"Balamb Garden." 

The tall blonde locked his hard gaze onto her's, but she did not falter under his stare. Coldly, she rooted him to the spot, waiting for an answer of some sort. 

"Why?" Seifer finally asked, mistrust glinting in his eyes. 

"You'll find out soon enough," she stated simply. "The choice is your's, Seifer. Stay here and rot in this cell, or come with us and do as we say. I couldn't care less, either way." 

That, of course, was a lie by any standards, yet Seifer did not manage to pick up on it. 

"I didn't do anything," the former sorceress knight eventually tried carefully. "You can't keep me here." 

"We can and we will. You know that as well as I do." 

Seifer Almasy was a man that could have been accused of being many things, but he most definitely was not stupid by any means. He knew that Quistis Trepe was right, and as much as the idea of returning to Balamb Garden disgruntled him, it also seemed a lot more appealing than the concept of staying in his cell for whoever knew how long. 

"Suppose I come with you," he mused languidly, "how long will I have to stay?" 

"I can't tell you. I don't know. You will find out when we get there." 

Quistis sighed. She had known that it would be difficult to face Seifer again. She didn't carry any hateful feelings for him as her boyfriend Zell did, but she wasn't exactly fond of him, either. Seifer had always been a thorn edged into her flesh, and as much as she had tried, she had never quite gotten around to liking him. Looking at him right then, it seemed as if he hadn't grown up a bit in the months that he had disappeared. He was a little taller maybe, his hair slightly longer and a little dishevelled, his face perhaps more angular than it used to be. He was still handsome, she had to admit that. More importantly than that, though, she knew only too well of the effect that the blonde had on their leader, and she fully agreed with Selphie and Cid; Cocky, self-assured and loud mouthed Seifer Almasy was their last hope of breaking the invisible barriers that Squall had erected about himself. 

"You've been around puberty boy for too long, instructor. You're starting to have inner monologues." 

"Shut up, Seifer!" Zell hissed roughly, one fist lashing forward in a threatening gesture. 

"Or what, chickenwuss? Gonna stroke me with those pretty gloves of your's? C'mon, you know you want to." 

"You fucking-" 

"Shut up, both of you!" Quistis interrupted angrily. 

Letting out a drawn sigh of exasperation, the young woman commenced to massage the back of her nose with her eyes closed, before she eventually turned to face Seifer again. 

"Look, Seifer, either you come with us and conduct yourself or you stay right here where you are, is that clear?" 

Seifer let out an angry grunt. He had always had issues with the entire concept concerning authority figures, and Quistis Trepe sure as hell was no exception. 

Unfortunately though, his choices were rather limited on this one. 

"Clear," he snorted reluctantly. 

"At least we got that settled, then. We came with Ragnarok, so we'll be back at Balamb in no time. Your gunblade is stored away safely out of your reach, so don't try anything you would regret." 

"Gee whiz, not very trusting these days, are we?" 

"What reason would we have to trust _you_?" Zell spat. 

"It's enough, Zell. Let's just get this over with." 

Despite the rage flaring in Zell's eyes, the martial artist was sufficiently successful in controlling his temper, though it did involve quite some effort. He had always disliked Seifer, even before the blonde had been under Ultimecia's control. What Almasy had done in her name didn't matter much to Zell. He knew enough details of the case to rest assured that Seifer had indeed been mind controlled, but to the spunky blonde, he was a characterless bastard all the same. 

"One thing. Where are Fujin and Raijin?" Seifer asked evenly. 

"They left. We released them." 

Seifer couldn't quite decide whether he liked that idea or not. He would have appreciated to have his friends along on his glorious return to his old school, but on the other hand, things might just be less complicated without them. 

"Aight," he voiced his uncalled-for approval. 

"You ready?" 

He nodded his head curtly, and when he left the cell trodding nonchalantly in between Zell and Quistis, he didn't even glance back once. 

  
  


** =To be continued!= **

==========

Hmm this chapter didn't quite go the way I originally had planned, but I think this is how I am going to leave it for now ;) Thank you everyone for the nice reviews, you guys are great!


	12. Old Debts to Pay

**

=Let Me Make It Alright= 

**

Chapter 12: "Old Debts To Pay"

==========

Their flight on the Ragnarok airship had been a quiet one. Quistis had navigated, while Zell and Seifer had spent their time persistently ignoring each other. Mutely, the blonde instructor had thanked Hyne for Ragnarok's speed, because she had no desire whatsoever to watch the two men competitively death-glare each other any longer. 

Finally landing at Balamb Garden, Quistis noticed how Seifer Almasy grew slightly more uneasy. He shifted around a lot, and when they left the ship, his eyes came alight with a distinct alert glow. The two SeeDs led him to the infirmary quick-paced, as they had arranged with the others. On their way, more than one student paused in shock and awe over the realization of whom Quistis and Zell were dragging along. 

"Why are we going to the infirmary?" Seifer growled unnerved. 

"You'll see," Quistis answered, without even acknowledging him with a single glance. 

The brawny blonde narrowed his eyes at her dangerously, but Quistis was not the least bit impressed. She had her boyfriend Zell by her side, and even if she didn't, she knew that a quick Laser Eye would certainly slap Almasy back in his place. 

As soon as they had ushered Seifer into Doctor Kadowaki's waiting room, the young man froze in untypical astonishment. He stood face-to-face with people he had figured (and hoped) he would never see again; Irvine Kinneas, the cowboy he had never really met ever since their childhood days, Selphie Tilmitt, the little messenger girl, Cid Kramer, his former school director, Edea Kramer, the woman whose body had controlled him for so long, and of course, Doctor Kadowaki, whose stern gaze snapped to his frame immediately after his entrance. 

There was just one person missing... 

"Seifer. We're glad to see you here." 

With his hands locked behind his back, Cid stepped up to his former student, smiling in an almost fatherly manner. Seifer nodded semi-consciously, still taken aback by the large welcome committee. 

"Right, right," the blonde grimaced. "But what am I doing here?" 

Instead of answering, Cid pointed to one of the empty chairs in the room. 

"Have a seat." 

Scratching his head, Seifer didn't even think of objecting and let himself flop into the chair that Cid had pointed out to him. Slowly, the entire group gathered around him, finding seats on either chairs or tables. 

"Alright, what the hell is going on?" Seifer now inquired more urgently. 

"Seifer, we brought you here because we need your help." 

Seifer's golden eyebrows slammed heavenwards at Cid Kramer's words. The oh-so-great SeeDs of Balamb Garden needed _his_ help? The help of an outcast? 

A smirk of satisfaction curled Seifer's lips. __

'Now this oughta be good.' 

He screened the faces of the people around him. Irvine and Zell looked rather vengeful, which was of course to be expected, whereas Quistis' expression was fairly neutral in nature. Selphie's face was radiating surprising warmth, as was Edea's. Cid still looked like a father figure, and Kadowaki could very well have been the mother-- okay, strict stocking wearing aunt more like it, he grinned to himself. 

"My help, huh?" he finally said blithely. "What for?" 

"Well, as you might have noticed, we're missing somebody important here," the director started. 

Frowning, the blonde crossed his arms behind his neck, a motion he employed to appear nonchalant rather than to stretch his sore muscles. He dearly hoped that nobody would see through his act. 

"Yeah. You're talking about Leonhart, I'm guessing," he shrugged. "What's up with the sourpuss, where is he?" 

"Squall is sick. Very sick." 

Seifer couldn't help but feel something twitch inside his chest at that grave comment, almost as if someone was trying to pinch his heart violently, making sure that it hurt. 

"What do you mean, 'sick'?" he gulped dryly, now having distinctly more trouble to retain his mask of bored indifference. 

"He's been suicidal for months. He's letting his body deteriorate. He doesn't eat, he doesn't drink. Two days ago, he almost got killed by a T-rex." 

Suicidal, huh? Leonhart was a lot of things, but he sure as Hyne wasn't suicidal, or at least that was what Seifer tried to tell himself. 

"Leonhart killed by a T-rex?" he snorted with deliberate and all too false glee. "He's a brat alright, but he's better than that." 

"Well, that should tell you how bad his condition really is, Seifer. We've tried to break through to him, but there is just no way. He resents all of us and our attempts to help him." 

"Uh, and what exactly do ya expect me to do? You are his friends or whatever, and he doesn't even like me." 

"He respects you," Quistis suddenly cut in, "he always has." 

"And?" he snapped back. 

"Seifer, you're our last hope, okay?" she bristled, and he could see how her body was quivering just slightly under the burden of controlling her emotions. "We wouldn't have called you if we could have thought of a better way, rest assured of that!" 

Slowly, Seifer's eyes narrowed to jade green slits. 

"And just what makes you think that I would help him?" 

She sat up very straight in her chair, the cobalt of her eyes having kindled with something that Seifer couldn't place his finger on. It was anger, perhaps, or something that was strangely close to finality. He couldn't quite decide. 

"You owe him your life." 

Her statement was simple, and it burnt deep inside Seifer's heart, causing every muscle in his body to clam up. He hated the mere concept of owing anything to anybody, let alone his life of all things. And still there she was, all strictness and uptightness, claiming that he owed his life to a boy he had defeated in combat so many times. 

Worst of all, he knew she was right. 

  
  


** =To be continued!=**

==========

Yes, yes, this was kinda short, huh? Worry not, the next chapter should be a little longer .


	13. The Lion's Den

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 13: "The Lion's Den"

Ever so slowly, a dry lump grating his throat, Seifer Almasy opened the door to Squall's room a crack wide. He was glad that Doc Kadowaki had insisted on "old school" doors in her infirmary instead of the common electronic ones, if only for the sake of allowing him to enter the brunette commander's sickroom silently.

He squeezed inside as soundlessly as he could, hesitant to level his gaze with the person laying in a bed at the wall furthest away from him. He closed the door behind himself gently, finally taking a deep breath and snapping his sight to the object of his visit.

The room was plunged into warm, orange light as the evening sun was streaking through the blinds that obscured the windows. Calm shadows were dancing across the fragile figure laying in a heap of white covers, not moving a single muscle. The young man's eyes were closed behind strands of ice brown hair trailing into his face, and his head was moving softly in the pillows. His features were as flawless and fluid as the blonde had remembered them to be, though they seemed to stretch more tightly underneath the snow white skin. Pale arms and hands were resting on the covers of the bed, one of them pierced by a needle that trailed off into an IV.

Seifer Almasy hadn't seen Squall Leonhart in almost one year, and there was just one thought dominating his mind.

_'Fucking Hyne, he's beautiful.' _

He swallowed coarsely and took a couple of stiff steps towards the bed, all the while not taking his wide emerald eyes off Squall's sleeping frame. Thoughts and memories were rushing through his head, thoughts that he was ashamed to have but were now freshly torn to the surface. Through all those months, his obsession with the brunette SeeD hadn't faded the slightest bit.

His trench coat washed against his legs, ruffling the fabric in a soft noise as he slowly lowered his body into the chair next to Squall's bed. He had barely sat down and managed to unclench some of his muscles, when the young man laying in the covers suddenly opened his lids very slowly and stared blankly at the ceiling.

Frozen in awe, Seifer thought to himself that Squall's eyes were still the semblance of a perfect storm, flawless match to the commander's name and his temper in their swirls of sapphire and grey. As the blonde was still considering to raise his voice and say something more or less intelligent, the brunette's head suddenly shot around.

As storm blue met jade green, both widened in surprise and shock. At first, Squall's face was devoid of any emotion or expression, but to Seifer's dismay, the brunette's awestruck stupor gave way to much different emotions all too quickly.

"You!"

Hate curled Squall's features immediately. He slammed his body up as far as his forced paralysis allowed, eager to lash out at the man next to him.

"I-eh-I-" Seifer stumbled across the words before they could escape his mouth.

"How dare you!"

Thunderstruck by Squall's rather unexpected reaction, Seifer jumped to his feet, arms held up in front of his body in an attempt of a soothing gesture.

"Hey, I-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Squall choked, hate oozing from every single intonation of the words. "How dare you show up here after what you did!"

"I thought-"

"I don't _care_ what you thought, Almasy! Fuck you!"

His eyes stretched to the size of dinner plates, Seifer retreated from the bed clumsily, at loss for explanations or gestures. Squall had sat up in his covers, swiping out towards the blonde in fierce movements as he screamed his anger off his soul.

"You have no fucking right to be here, you hear me?" he yelled in heartfelt disdain, "You ruined my life! Get out of here!"

Before Seifer had a chance to ponder those words, the door to the room suddenly flung open with a deafening thud, admitting Zell and Irvine. In their haste, the young men were tumbling all over each other.

"What the hell are you doing to him?" they blared in unison.

"Out!" Seifer retorted sharply, entirely overwhelmed by the turn of the situation, yet unwilling to simply give in.

"No, _you_ get out!" spat Squall from his bed.

"I said _out_, you idiots! Get out! I have it under control!" Seifer insisted, ignoring Squall's uncalled for editorials from the bedside.

The tall blonde pushed Irvine and Zell back out against their confused struggles and the racket they put up, quickly slamming the door shut behind them and sucking in an exasperate breath.

"What are you doing? Get the hell out of my room, you bastard!"

He twisted his gaze to the ceiling in silent plea to their God, who was most likely enjoying this peculiar show, before he finally turned around to face a raging Squall with all the courage he could muster.

"For fuck's sake, Leonhart, calm down! I'm just here to help you."

"I don't need your damn help, Almasy!" the brunette rewarded his earnest efforts. "Get the hell away from me!"

"Will you relax? Damn, Leonhart, what the hell did I do? If you're that pissed over what I did, why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?"

For a brief moment, Squall seemed at a loss for words, thoughts charging at light speed through his already aching head. Seifer was only too aware of that, and he used the rupture in the brunette's angry fit to step closer.

"Is she here, too?" Squall finally ground out, avoiding Seifer's eyes.

_'She?'_

"Eh... who are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Almasy! You know who I'm talking about!" Squall hissed, menace returning to his voice.

"Uh. You mean Edea? Yeah, she's here."

"No, I'm talking about Rinoa, you nitwit!"

_ 'Rinoa? What would Rinoa be doing here after what happened?'_

"Why would Rinoa be here?" he vocalized those thoughts almost hesitantly.

"With you," Squall spat.

"Uh, look, Leonhart, I don't have the slightest clue of what you're talking about. I haven't seen Rinoa in about two months. Last time I met her was..."

And then, it struck him.

"Aw, shit. You heard that her and I hooked up after you had dumped her, right? Look, if it makes you feel any better, it was nothing, alright, we-"

"After _I _dumped her...?"

Squall's anger slowly seemed to seep away, and he relaxed, if only slightly. His ethereal features had crumpled with bewilderment - a sudden turn of moods that Seifer couldn't quite ensue.

"Yeah," the blonde replied carefully, not entirely sure where this was leading. "I thought you dumped her like... half a year ago?"

Seifer Almasy had always had trouble reading Squall's facial expressions, but the one he was opposed to right then was enough to give him a headache. He could make out confusion and hurt at the best, but he wasn't even sure about that.

Eventually, Squall's gaze went blank and his body stiffened.

"… Leonhart?"

Seifer stepped closer, waving one hand in front of the brunette's face.

"Hey, earth to Leonhart! Wake up!"

_'God, I hate it when he does that.'_

It wasn't until he shook Squall's shoulder that the young SeeD snapped out of his trance and adjusted his focus to the blonde at his side. Knowing that Squall hated to be touched, Seifer removed his hand immediately.

"Who told you that?" Squall suddenly pressed.

"Told me what?"

"That I dumped her..."

"Why, _she_ told me, of course," Seifer answered, scratching his head in bewilderment.

_ 'What's this all about now?'_

Very slowly, Squall returned his head to the pillows. He stared at the ceiling above him, totally oblivious to the man that was eagerly awaiting an explanation of this new development. Seifer rolled his eyes, hating to be ignored.

"Don't go fucking spacing out on me again, Leonhart!"

Sighing, he let his long body flop down into the chair again.

_'At least he isn't yelling anymore. Slight improvement, I guess.' _

He waited somewhat patiently for a few minutes, silently watching how Squall's features petrified and his eyes stared at plain nothingness. He noted that the scar slanted across the bridge of Squall's nose, the scar that mirrored his own, stood out even darker against the brunette's abnormally pale skin. Squall had gotten thinner, too, looking fragile like a girl, or so it seemed to the blonde.

_'Guess they weren't exaggerating, he looks like a ghost. I really don't think there is a point in me being here, though. Shit, I'm just wasting my time. He does look bad, though...'_

Realizing that he was conducting inner monologues just like a certain someone, Seifer growled at himself and Squall at the same time.

"Okay, that's enough idle chit-chat with yourself, Leonhart! Talk to me," he ordered sternly.

Reluctantly, the brunette veered his head to face him, and Seifer couldn't help but feel moved by the hurt spilling from Squall's eyes. He had always had troubles seeing the guy sad. Angry, alright, but sad? It affected his heart more than he liked to admit.

"Talk to me," he repeated again, more gently now and surprised by his own patience.

"I didn't dump her," Squall finally replied, his voice all typical frigidness.

"You didn't?"

"No. She dumped _me_. She called me from Timber on her way to Deling City, saying she just couldn't take my moods anymore and that she needed to move on. I tried to get a hold of her, but no luck. Eventually, I found out that someone had seen her with you the day she called me. Then I understood what she meant by 'moving on'."

"Ah, man, that fucking bitch," the blonde snarled harshly, startling the man next to him.

"What?"

"I met her in Timber," Seifer elaborated, "She told me that you had dumped her because she wouldn't do what you said, and... eh... that you were colder than Shiva herself. We kinda hooked up, but it didn't work out - at all. She ditched me and I haven't seen her at all since then, no clue where she's hanging out now."

He failed to mention that there had been only one reason for him to start dating Rinoa again. Attraction surely hadn't been the root of it, but that was nothing that Squall Leonhart really needed to know.

"Sorry, kiddo. Guess she played us both. I didn't know you two were still dating when I met her."

Squall's face was a mask of blankness, which worried Seifer more than the previous anger.

"Hey, cheer up, you're still in puberty, there'll be lots of others."

His trademark smirk was smacked down onto his face as he tried to cheer Squall up, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Hey, I know how you're feeling and all, okay," he tried with a sigh, "But she isn't worth it that you fuck yourself up over her. You look like you have about a hundred pounds to your name. Really, you need to get something between your teeth, ice prince."

Again, he didn't receive a response. Seifer however wasn't willing to let Squall disappear into his shell and to his self-conversations again, so he stood up abruptly and started to fidget with the front of Squall's bed. The brunette turned to face him, when his head suddenly shot up and forward in sync with the mattress below him, just to come to an abrupt halt in an upright position.

"Hey, what the fuck!" he hissed, impatiently flicking away the tresses of brown hair that had been washing against his eyes.

Seifer merely grinned.

"Oh, look, it talks. Words fail me."

"Whatever, asshole."

Squall turned away angrily, which only caused Seifer's smirk to widen. Apparently, the gnarly rival he had once known wasn't entirely gone yet.

"Since you're already sitting up and all, ya might as well grab something to eat."

"I'm not hungry," the brunette growled.

"Bullshit."

Seifer's gaze found the plate with rice and vegetables resting on Squall's bed table. Smoothly, he rotated it around so it was hovering over Squall's lap.

"Dig in, Leonhart."

"I'm not eating this."

"Well either you eat it or I'll spend the rest of the evening here with you singing you some chants I learned in the bars of Deling City. Some of 'em praise your wiggly little ass, by the way."

The look out of Squall's dust blue eyes held enough threat to make a lesser man cry, but Seifer didn't even do as much as blink under it.

"I see you want a sample. Okay."

He cleared his throat in mock preparation for a startling falsetto, and he wasn't the least bit impressed by the dangerous glint that had dawned in Squall's eyes.

_ "Leonhart was his name, SeeD his traaaade. Had eyes like a lion, ears like a fox, hair like a bear, ass like a la-" _

"Shut up!" Squall groaned in open disgust and annoyance, voice rough and low. "Fine. I'll eat it, just... shut up."

"Aw damn, that's too bad, I was just getting started. You sure? I know enough songs to keep you entertained all night."

Seifer couldn't help but smirk in satisfaction over his success. Sure, Squall's every move was radiating murder, but what really mattered was that he grabbed his fork, jabbed some food onto it harshly and pushed it into his mouth, where he finally started to chew mechanically.

They sat in silence until Squall had finished most of his plate and chugged down a glass of water, before Seifer looked at him more seriously.

"Hey, I know we never really got along very well and all, but you're a good guy, Leonhart. You're a great leader, everyone looks up to you and shit... you don't need that skanky ho."

"Turn off the psychiatrist, Seifer. It doesn't suit you."

"Well hey, at least I can still beat the hell out of a T-rex."

Squall's eyes narrowed at the comment, but he said nothing. For a brief second, Seifer's smirk turned into a true smile full of care and gentleness. He had to admit to himself, if not to anyone else, that he was glad to see Squall Leonhart again. All through the months, there hadn't been a single day his mind hadn't wandered to the "Lion of Balamb" at least once.

_'Yah, but hell if I ever tell him that.' _

He stood up quickly, recognizing that his emotions were probably headed into an unhealthy direction. Squall's gaze followed his movements, wondering why his archrival had come to help him in the first place. For once, he saw no sense in the man's actions.

"Aight, puberty boy, I'll let you get some sleep there. I'll see your ass tomorrow. Dream of me."

Without awaiting any reaction to his cocky remark, Seifer turned with a swirl of his coat and left the room, memories following him like the scent of Squall Leonhart that he had been missing for so long.  
**  
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**To be continued!  
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Awwwwww, poor little Seify! He sure is cocky though, geez. But you got to wub him anyway.

I hope you guys are happy with their first meeting and some questions have been answered. Of course, Squally can't just pop open like a ripe melon (ok that sounded SO wrong)... Seifer will have to keep working him really good (that sounded wrong too o.O)!


	14. Cherished Moments

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=Let Me Make It Alright=

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Chapter 14: "Cherished Moments"

==========

They had asked him lots of questions that night, but he had refused them all. Eventually, they had just given up on him and taken him to a room that he could call his own while he was staying at Balamb Garden. He had been surprised that they hadn't locked his door and left a guard, but he blamed it on Cid's trustworthy nature. Of course, it wasn't like he would go anywhere without Hyperion, and it wasn't like they didn't know that, either. 

He had fallen asleep surprisingly fast, too, but his slumber had been uneasy. Haunted by nightmares during which he would wake, he'd glance restlessly around the room, wary and confused.

Hours later, he awoke lying sprawled out on his covers, still fully dressed except for his heavy boots and his trench coat, which he had lazily strung over the back of a chair. Sighing, he rolled on his side and let his languid jade green eyes travel around the room. It was small, furnished with a single bed, chair and desk as well as a dresser. A door led to the bathroom which he had already examined earlier that night. A clock on his wall read the digits "8:25 a.m.".

Suddenly, his gaze shot back to the dresser.

_ 'Fuck.'_

It wasn't until then that he realized that he had arrived at Balamb without any clothes except for the ones that he was wearing on his very body. He had absolutely no idea where his duffel bag was, or if the SeeDs had even bothered to pick it up. For the life of him, he could not remember.

_ 'That's just excellent. So much for my morning shower.'_

He arched his back, flexing and stretching his arms thoroughly, before he swiveled around in his bed and jumped to his feet in one fluid motion. A deep sigh heaved his chest. He needed clothes, that much was for sure. Of course, he couldn't just conjure them up out of nowhere. He had no choice but to ask someone for help.

Bending down to slip into his boots and loosely tie the laces, he decided that Quistis Trepe was probably the one to talk to. She seemed to have taken some sort of substitute commander role, now that puberty boy was lying in his sickbed. 

_ 'Squall...'_ His body shot upright immediately, and he shook his head.

_ 'For Hyne's sake, isn't there anything **but** puberty boy you can think of?'_

Rolling his eyes at himself, he stepped into the small, brightly tiled bathroom. He turned the faucet and let cold water wash over his hands. Quietly, he marveled at the scars and calluses on his skin. He had stopped wearing gloves a while back, for whatever reason, he couldn't even remember. Hence, of course, his skin had suffered accordingly. Suddenly, it occurred to him that he had never seen Squall Leonhart's hands up until the previous day. Ever since he had hit puberty, Squall had always worn gloves, matching the black of his outfit and his temper.

_ 'Goddammit, Almasy!'_

Quickly, he shoved the thought aside and ran his wet fingers through his golden blonde hair, slicking it back smoothly. Of course, looking into the mirror in front of him, his eyes couldn't help but linger at the scar slanted wryly across the bridge of his nose. He tilted his head ever so slightly, jade green focusing intently on the image. His skin was a good bit more tan than Squall's, hence his scar wouldn't stand out quite as harshly. Softly, he ran a finger across the rough skin, remembering the day him and the brunette had fought so fiercely. Now, it all seemed so very far away. They had scarred each other for life, and these marks that they would carry forever were like an unspoken bond between them. A bond between him, the outcast former sorceress knight, and the ever sullen lone wolf, the "Lion of Balamb."

"..."

_ 'Fuck this, I give up. I just can't get him out of my head.'_

Admitting defeat to himself, he trudged out of the bathroom and shrugged on his trench coat before he stepped outside. The hallway stretched out in front of him and was fairly quiet since classes had already started. Only very few students were scattered in the distance, none of them really close enough to realize who had just left the room. In the hopes of keeping it that way, Seifer decided to go looking for Quistis quickly. There were only so many places were the strict instructor could be, and his first guess was the infirmary.

Seifer Almasy mentally patted his own back for his wise decision. After a brief jog through the main hall and past two thunderstruck underclassmen, he found himself facing an irritated Quistis Trepe who was just about to leave the infirmary's waiting room.

"Yo, instructor," he leered.

"The name is Quistis, you know."

"Oh, I do know," he stated simply. "Listen though, I need to talk to you about something."

"And what would that be?"

Seifer wasn't sure whether he liked the way Quistis' eyebrow was arching towards her hairline in a gesture of silent and rather snobbish disapproval, but he continued all the same.

"You have any idea what happened to my duffel bag?"

"Your what?"

"My bag. The one I had with me in Deling City."

"Nobody mentioned anything to me about a bag when we picked you up. Didn't you take it with you when they caught you in Deling City?"

"Fuck," Seifer snarled with a sour voice, "Those knuckleheads must have left it there."

"What was in it?"

"All my clothes. I don't have anything to wear except for these things on my body. And I'm kinda starting to stink."

The tall blonde woman brought a finger to her jaw in deep thought. Suddenly, her cobalt blue eyes lit up with bright satisfaction.

"You didn't grow much since you left here last year, did you?"

"I'm not twelve anymore, Quistis. No, I didn't."

"Well, it shouldn't be a problem, then. We still have all your old clothes and belongings stored away somewhere."

Now it was Seifer's turn to arch his eyebrows, though his gesture spoke of disbelief rather than disapproval. His hand found the back of his head to scratch it and complete the picture of an utterly dumbfounded blonde gunblader.

"You still have all my things? Why? The last time I was here was when I ditched custody and went to Timber."

"That's correct. I guess not many here really expected you to come back after everything that happened. Squall said you talked to him briefly before you left on your journey with Fujin and Raijin. He told us that you'd probably go and travel around, but that he didn't ask any details of you."

Caught up in the memories, Seifer didn't realize how he was spacing out. He remembered that particular conversation only too well; he had re-played them countless times in his mind. Squall had met him at the shores of Esthar that day, one year ago, when the blonde had been ready to take on any punishment. Squall however hadn't punished him. 

He had set him free... 

=== _Flashback_ ===

"What do you mean, I am 'free to go wherever I want'?"

Disbelief and mistrust overshadowed the blonde man's voice as his jade green eyes slitted dangerously at the calm brunette figure next to him. The ocean was crashing against the rocks below them, breaking into white foam that oddly reminded Seifer of the fur lacing Squall Leonhart's collar. Seifer had seen it blood-stained before, tinged in the red of Squall's life, spilled by the blonde gunblader himself. He shuddered involuntarily at the memory.

"Exactly what I said. You can go or stay wherever you want, Seifer," the boy next to him said evenly, his storm cloud eyes locked upon the sea.

"Don't bullshit me, Leonhart. I committed just about every crime listed in the laws of Garden, and probably a few extra ones, too. I know I am going to be called over the coals."

"What you did wasn't by choice. You were controlled by Ultimecia, just like Edea was. You were merely Ultimecia's tool. We already punished her, no need to take it any further, neither on you, nor on matron."

"I don't believe you."

Incredibly intense eyes slowly zeroed in on Seifer, holding his mistrusting gaze. The blonde was surprised by the change that Squall had undergone. His features seemed less rash, and the iciness had yielded from his beautiful dust grey oculates. Somehow, somewhere, Squall Leonhart must have found his inner peace. With a slight and bitter jolt of his heart, Seifer could only guess the cause for that change to be Rinoa Heartilly.

"I'm leaving today. I'm going back to Balamb with the others. I only wanted to meet you here to wish you good luck and tell you that you're all set. And if you ever want to come back to Garden, you'll always be welcome."

Those words struck Seifer, and they struck hard. His eyes widened to large pools of emerald green, but Squall Leonhart's face radiated nothing but utter seriousness. There was no mock there, no hidden catch. And to make matters even more surreal, the brunette's lips curled into a tiny smile, which was more than Seifer could recall to ever have graced the younger man's ethereal features.

"Why don't you hate me...?" Seifer finally asked, lowering his head and his voice in now throbbing shame.

"I've never hated you, Seifer. I have known you almost my entire life, though the past really just came back to me a few weeks ago. I recall you being quite the jerk most of the time, but no matter what, you always respected me. And I always respected you. That hasn't changed, and it never will."

If Seifer would have trusted the moment and wouldn't have still been suspicious of talking to a clone instead of the actual Squall Leonhart he was used to, he would have allowed himself to tear up over the brunette's plain but genuinely beautiful statement. He made sure not to raise his head, just in case a tear might slip its way up after all.

"I..." he stuttered, voice coarse from the strain in his throat.

He couldn't bring himself to go on.

"I really do wish you all the best. Come visit us sometime, Seifer. And take care of yourself."

The slender figure clad in black turned away, velvet brown hair ruffled by the brisk ocean breeze. Seifer felt his presence disappearing, but he didn't dare to look up and raise his voice to a whisper for a very long time.

"You too... Squall."

=== _End of Flashback_ ===

"Seifer? Seifer!"

"... Huh? What?"

Quistis' impatient and harsh voice tore him out of his stupor. Quickly, he re-adjusted his focus to the blonde woman who was studying his features apprehensively.

"I said that's why we still have your clothes."

"Have my clothes why?" Seifer asked blankly.

"Oh my..." Quistis sighed. "You really weren't paying attention, were you?"

"Sorry."

"Squall told us to keep them. I actually remember when I cleared your apartment with him. He insisted on being the one to do it instead of some cadet. Frankly, I was just going to toss your clothes and your other things, but Squall forbid it. He said that some day, you'd come back, and then he wanted to hand your stuff back to you."

As much as he tried, Seifer Almasy couldn't swallow the lump caught painfully in his throat. Squall had kept all his belongings in the trust that Seifer would return some day. In his wildest dreams, the blonde hadn't imagined the stoic gunblader to do anything of the likes. For a while, he had figured that Squall Leonhart would be the first to set fire to anything that was in any way related to Seifer Almasy.

Apparently, he had been seriously mistaken.

"Anyway, come with me, I'll take you to storage and we can get your stuff."

Still fazed, he nodded blearily as she walked past him. Luckily, his long legs had no trouble keeping up with her sharp stride despite his confusion.

"Did you see him this morning?" he finally brought himself to ask, if only to cut the thick silence that was only interrupted by the sound of their boots on the marble floor.

"Yes."

"How's he?"

She stopped abruptly, looking at Seifer with a meticulous eye.

"He's better, actually. Doc Kadowaki said that he had a small breakfast this morning, mumbling something about bar chants and looking like he was plotting a murder."

Seifer had to try dearly to suppress a triumphant smirk.

"Hmph. Good."

"What is that all about?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing. Just something I told him to make him eat."

Quistis paused for another moment, studying him with an expression that he could not place, before she nodded and continued walking.

"Whatever it was, looks like it worked," she added. "I'm impressed, Seifer. I wasn't entirely convinced that your presence would have a positive effect on Squall, but apparently it does."

"Aw, that hurts, instructor," Seifer sneered. "What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"You don't want to know," Quistis retaliated coolly.

They arrived at the Garden storage section at last. Behind a counter, a young cadet was offering Quistis a crisp salute and a slight blush that immediately revealed him as a "Trepie".

"Instructor Trepe," he stuttered in open agitation, "What can I do for you?"

For a moment, Seifer actually expected the nervous young man to recognize him and drop dead or at least unconscious, but he was disappointed. He couldn't know that Jordan Beel hadn't been admitted until much after Almasy's time, and obviously the young cadet had never taken a close look at Edea's sorceress knight during his prime.

"Yes, I need something out of storage, Jordan. The boxes of Almasy, Seifer."

Finally, Seifer received the expected reaction. The young boy's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and the blush faded from his face, leaving it pale and bleached of any sign of life. Immediately, Seifer's lips curled into a deliberately evil smirk that was oozing with satisfaction.

"Al...al..." the boy stuttered.

"That's right, Almasy, former sorceress knight and SeeD slayer, pleased to meet you!" Seifer exclaimed sarcastically, even going so far as taking a slight bow.

Even if it hadn't seemed possible, Jordan's face grew distinctly whiter, now being devoid of all color. Quistis snarled angrily at Seifer's side.

"That's enough, Seifer! Don't mind him, Jordan, he's an idiot. Could you bring me those boxes, please?" she said with the sweetest of smiles.

Still slightly shook up, the boy nodded and retreated into the storage hall behind his desk. Quistis seized the chance to glare up at ever-smirking Seifer Almasy.

"That wasn't very sensible."

"Sorry, was just too tempting. I've had this happen to me for almost a year now, it gets old."

For once, his words made sense to her, and she refrained from scolding him any further. She wouldn't have had much of a chance, anyway, since Jordan returned balancing two huge boxes stacked high in his arms. He dropped them onto the counter, desperately avoiding Seifer's sharp gaze.

"This is all I could find."

"That looks right to me. It was only two boxes, from what I remember. Thanks, Jordan."

The frail boy nodded eagerly, while at the same time pulling back to escape into the storage hall and out of Seifer Almasy's reach. The blonde merely chuckled.

"Well, I'll leave you to your things," Quistis said finally.

"Where are ya going?" he inquired, for a lack of more interesting things to do.

"To the training hall. I have to look for something."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Squall's gunblade. It got lost during his fight with the T-rex. We haven't been able to find it yet."

"You can't find his LionHeart? Are you kidding? No wonder he's suicidal, that sword means his life to him."

"Don't be ridiculous, he just lost it a few days ago. Aside from that, we're going to find it again."

Seifer merely shrugged and pulled the boxes off the counter smoothly.

"Right, if you say so. I'm gonna take these to my room."

"Okay. Are you going to visit Squall again?"

"Yeah, I suppose. I'll check on him after breakfast."

"Okay," she nodded, "I'll see you later, then."

He watched her disappear, his face slanted to a dark frown.

_ 'Those fucking retards. Can't find his damn gunblade, how stupid do you have to be?'_

Though he tried to squash it ruthlessly, a thought slowly rose in the midst of his mind. Even the fact that he almost tripped with his arms full of boxes and landed square on his face couldn't stop an idea from steadily forming in his head. He sighed deeply at the realization, something he had done strangely often ever since he had arrived at Balamb Garden.

_ 'Almasy, you are becoming too damn soft for your own good.'_

  
  


** =To be continued!=**

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Eeeeeeek I know this update took forever and ever! I dearly apologize to everyone who stuck with this story for so long! I had some sort of writer's block and a real hard time finishing this chapter, it just kinda sat here for aaaaages. Then I realized that there were many parts of the FF8 story that I didn't remember anymore, so I started to play the game once again.

Anyway, I am back thanks to the wonderful reviews, if I wouldn't have gotten any I am sure I wouldn't have bothered...


	15. A Box of Memories

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**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 15: "A Box Of Memories"  
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Seifer Almasy had spent the following hour and a half sitting on the floor of his bedroom with all his clothes and accessories spread out in front of him. The blonde gunblader had never been the neatest person to walk the plains of Balamb, but he decided to go at least so far as to make vain attempts at folding his clothes and stuffing them into his dresser. 

He was delighted to find his old and most favorite pair of boots, as well as a few necklaces, some ancient weapons magazines and a few gifts that he had received from Fujin and Raijin over the years. He gave a low chuckle at a horrible brown coat with yellowish fur lining that Fujin had presented him for Christmas one year, apparently in the firm belief that she had a good taste in men's clothes. He had actually put it on once, and even rigid Fu herself had laughed hysterically at the sight, though she had apologized for it later on.

_ 'Just because puberty boy can waltz around in fur coats without looking ridiculous doesn't mean that I can.' _

When his thoughts returned to Squall at last, he paused for a moment to decide whether it was wise to pull through with his plan or not. Granted, it wasn't like he had a whole lot else to do anyway, so there was no good reason that spoke against it, except for his pride and the harm that this plan could do to his reputation, perhaps. Then again, he didn't have much of a reputation to begin with anymore. People yelped and scrambled for shelter at his very sight, but that was just about it.

While he was still skimming through his last box absent-mindedly, his gaze suddenly connected with a thin, black hard-cover notebook. Very carefully, as if not to break the memories that were safely entrapped within the wilting pages of the book, Seifer reached inside the box and picked it up. He remembered strapping two cheap rubber bands around it to prevent things from falling out, and they were still snugly in place. Apparently, Squall wasn't one to snoop through other people's private belongings, but Seifer had known that already.

The cover was worn, spotted and discolored in some places. With almost reverent gentleness, Seifer removed the cracking rubber bands and flipped the pages open. Immediately, a couple slips of thick paper escaped their year-long confinement and dropped quietly into his lap.

Pictures.

He picked them up carefully and turned them over to look at them more closely. There weren't many, in fact there were no more than three, but he had held all of them sacred for as long as he could remember.

There was one that had been taken in Balamb by some odd photographer who had chatted up on Raijin and him, asking them to be her "strong helper boys." Needless to say, they had refused, but the rather pushy woman had insisted on taking a picture of the "gang" nonetheless. Thus, Fujin had been framed by her brawny male companions, all three of them posing against the background of Balamb's beautiful harbor scenery. Despite the weird circumstances, Seifer did like this particular photo a lot. They looked happy, careless somehow... unbothered by the future. Even Fujin was trying something that you could, with ample imagination, call a smile.

The following was a picture of his admittance ceremony into Garden. He was barely nine years old, with a rather headstrong and curious expression dominating his childish features. Standing to his right was a much smaller boy with long, tousled brown hair and wide, mistrusting blue eyes. A soft smile curled Seifer's lips at the sight. It was seven year old Squall Leonhart, terribly whiny and already withdrawn, but sure as heck cute to boot.

They were younger in the third and last picture. It was Christmas Eve at the orphanage, and from what Seifer recalled he had been five years old back then. It had been a time during which everyone had fought over Ellone's attention – everyone except himself, for he had only truly cared for the attention of one short, scrawny brunette whose most favorite item of clothing had been a bright yellow sweatshirt that had been given to him by his "sis."

_'Hmph.'_

That evening, Seifer recalled, klutzy Zell had managed to burn himself on the candles of the Christmas tree, and of course he had ended up screaming and howling like the chicken wuss that he was. Little Quisty had scolded him sternly, her future career path as an instructor all too set, while a much younger Selphie had cried only because Zell had been doing the same. Auburn haired Irvine had mocked Zell for his clumsiness, but all of them had envied Zell for the attention his crying tantrum had gained him from Ellone and Matron.

Yeah, all of them – except for Seifer. He had watched the scene quietly until noticing Squall, who had been sitting on a table, glaring at Zell for taking up Ellone's attention. Of course, he had teased the brunette as usual, if only to make Squall's sadness turn into anger. He had done so frequently over the years, never having been able to cope with Squall being in any form of emotional distress. It had worked well that night, too, and without them being aware of it, Selphie had snuck up on them with Matron's camera and taken a blurry picture of Seifer poking his finger into a furiously blushing brunette's chest.

Seifer continued holding on to the pictures in his hands for a very long time, emerald eyes fixed sternly upon the two little boys that had grown to become rivals and enemies... that had grown to become the sorceress knight outcast and the much praised savior of the planet. Yet, while the outcast was still standing proud and unyielding against the insults that would so frequently wash over him, something had cracked Squall's spirit and left him stray and far out of reach of everyone that had cared for him at one point or another.

Everyone?

Perhaps not.

Finally, that thought struck Seifer, and it struck hard at that. He was probably the only one who would be remotely able to turn Squall's life around and drag him out of this black-drenched pool of misery that was his current state of mind. Naturally, Seifer was perfectly aware of the fact that the brunette would rather drop dead on the spot than admit into needing _anyone_'s help, but nonetheless, he considered this task worth tackling. Seifer didn't have much of a purpose in life anymore since his romantic dream had been so cruelly twisted, but he realized that for once, he was the only person capable of helping another – the only one who could help Squall Leonhart. This time around there was no Matron, no Ellone, not even dear old friends.

This time there was only Seifer, and he'd be damned to hell and back before he'd pass that chance.

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To be continued!  
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Awww I am soooooooooooooo touched! You guys are still with me and I still get your nice reviews even after being such a slow writer! I promise to be better from now! I think I finally got back into the story. There are still a few things that I don't remember… even after I played the game again, imagine that… I hope you can go easy on me with the childhood memories of Seifer, I really don't remember when exactly Ellone left and when the boys got admitted into Garden. I guess I'm gonna claim writer's freedom or something.

I really want to thank Rinoa36, faery-of-fiction, FFGal, hopemia, Avatar-Infidel, Redrum, FF9 Zidane, Lexiter Johnson and Starlit Hope because they stuck with me for quite a while, but much thanks to everyone else who reviewed too, your opinions mean a lot to me (otherwise I probably wouldn't be posting my stories…)

Originally I planned on this chapter to go a little different, but you know how it is… you're writing and other stuff pops up (pops up? Kinky! D)… soooo some more Seifer flashbacks, sort of, I hope you aren't bored with his thoughtful self yet :) I kinda wanted to have a moment in which he snaps and realizes his importance, though.

Thanks to Redrum to your suggestion by the way, I think you are right, I was never quite happy with the term 'git' so I changed it to 'idiot'. Not overly creative, but oh well -- I don't know what it is with me and 'icebrown' but that's kind of what I think when I look at Squall's hair in the movie sequences. It really looks quite cold somehow, like chocolate icecream… Maybe I can think of a better term soon!


	16. The Spirits Within

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=Let Me Make It Alright= 

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Chapter 16: "The Spirits Within" 

========== 

"Ya think we'll luck out this time?" 

Zell cocked his head into his neck, hopefully meeting his auburn haired friend's gaze. Irvine was looking back at him doubtfully from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat as they were strolling through the hallway that connected with Balamb Garden's training hall. 

"Hell, we better," the taller SeeD replied. "It's been lost for a while now and we've just about searched the entire grounds." 

"I really don't get it," the shorter blonde mused, pulling his face into a tight frown that crinkled the intricate design of his tattoo. "I mean it's gotta be here some--" 

The martial artist's sentence got caught halfway through his throat as an entirely unexpected scene rapidly unfolded before them. Him and Irvine had barely crossed the tropical entrance hall to the grounds, when they suddenly bumped into someone cursing loudly and scurrying past one of the security doors that kept the school's practice monsters where they rightly belonged. 

"Seifer...?" 

Seifer indeed. 

Irvine arched a thin brown brow at the strange and, frankly, quite unpleasant sight. As soon as his amethyst eyes had fully screened the hated gunblader's body though, his wry look turned into that of bare disbelief. To complete a picture of arrogance that had been mutilated into one of utter incredulity, the smug cowboy's jaw dropped a few inches towards the muddy ground. 

"How in Hyne's name..." 

"No way," Zell added with a long, rasp groan. "Oh man..." 

Seifer adjusted his focus to the two males, whose presence he had thus far been pretty much oblivious to. He had been busy enough dodging out of the sight of two furious T-Rexaurs that he had been unfortunate enough to run into. His features twisted at the look in Zell's eyes, meshing with his ever so typical cockiness and jeer. 

"What's the matter, chickenwuss?" he chuckled, voice low and rough. 

Neither Zell nor Irvine could or would believe what they were seeing. Seifer Almasy stood proudly before them like some conqueror of the world, his long grey trench coat covered in wild streaks of mud and moss. Nasty brown specks of dirt, which looked suspiciously like T-Rex dung, even graced the tanned gunblader's face and his slightly disheveled, golden crop colored hair. Seifer ran a sleeve across his skin carelessly, trying to wipe a clod of mud from his nose. 

Most amazing though was the thing that the blonde held clutched tightly in one hand. 

Slender, blue and deadly, it was LionHeart itself - the very blade that had been deemed lost, and almost lost for good for all that Irvine and Zell had known. 

"When... how... why... how??" 

Annoyed to the core, Seifer rolled his eyes at Zell's miserable attempt at speaking. 

"Still haven't learned to talk in full sentences, have ya?" 

"Seifer..." the martial artist gulped the name dryly once more, before shutting up entirely. 

"Where'd ya find that?" Irvine added, no less dumbfounded than his friend. 

"Oh. This?" 

Seifer glanced down at the faintly glowing blade in his hand. It shed soft, soothing azure blue light that felt both warm and cool at the same time. 

Immediately, the blonde's lips curled into his trademark, feral grin that was much closer to a predator's snarl than his opposites liked. 

"In there, genius," he sneered, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the door he had just emerged from. 

"How?!" Zell cried out in frustration, crushing his hands to fists and punching an invisible foe that undoubtedly carried Seifer's reflection. "You didn't even know where to look!!" 

"Yeah, well," Seifer replied smugly, "If you got my kind of impeccable instincts you don't need directions, chickenwuss." 

The two SeeDs really did want to lock their jaws back into place, but at the sight of an utterly satisfied Seifer patting the long lost gunblade in his hand, said intention proved to be rather difficult. 

"On top of that," Seifer added in a fit of gracious mercy, "This thing glows like a fucking beacon. You'd have to be either blind or stupid to miss it." 

A not-so-merciful and in fact quite devilish glint came alight in Seifer's feline eyes, and he fixed them upon Zell in almost cruel jeer. 

"Then again, maybe both?" 

"It never glows! It glows only in Squall's presence!" Zell snapped in rising despair. 

Seifer actually had to tilt his head aside in confusion at that odd remark. 

_ 'Only glows in Leonhart's presence? Come on, even chickenwuss can't be that thick.' _

"I know you ain't the brightest chicken in the flock and all," he declared with a drawl, "But even you should recognize that it's glowing just as we speak. Now, considering that Leonhart is tucked into his sick bed in the infirmary, maybe you can see that there's something seriously wrong with your theory." 

"But he's right," Irvine butted in to Zell's aid. "I've seen it when Squall wasn't around. The blade looked just like a piece of glass." 

Seifer couldn't help but frown slightly at that statement. He didn't necessarily believe that Irvine and Zell were lying to him; they didn't seem to be in the right mind to. However, nothing they were saying was actually making any sense. 

"Why the fuck would it only glow when puberty boy is around? It's a fucking sword, so either it glows or it doesn't. It can hardly have a mind of its own." 

"That's not quite correct now, Seifer." 

The three men turned at the sound of a new voice. Quistis came walking towards them, whip in hand and her high heels snapping over the concrete floor. 

"I can't believe you actually found it, Seifer," she said as she stopped before him, her cobalt gaze nailed to Seifer's jade one. "As a matter of fact, I can't even believe you went looking for it." 

Seifer shifted uneasily at that statement and the fact that she seemed to be looking right through him rather than at him. Trepe sure was creepy in a way, and he really hadn't meant to make such a public deal out of the situation. All in all, he had merely tried to find the sword that the dark haired gunblader was so attached to, and for some reason (he blamed it on his brilliance) he had actually succeeded. The idea of everyone knowing about his "good deed" however didn't appeal to him at all. The idea of them wondering just as to _why_ he had bothered to search LionHeart in the first place appealed to him even less. 

"Yeah, well, no big deal, here ya go," he grunted, carelessly shoving the blade into Quistis' hands and quick to flee the training grounds. 

Surprisingly enough, she held him back, swiftly catching him by the shoulder and rooting him to the spot with astonishing force. 

"No, hold on." 

"What now?" he sighed, exasperation soaking the words. 

"You really went in there? Without any weapon or spells?" 

He shrugged. 

"What of it?" 

"I can't believe it. You could have gotten hurt, you know?" 

"I'm not sick little Leonhart, I can handle myself pretty well on my own, thanks." 

"That's not the point, Seifer!" she announced, shaking her head from side to side. "That was really foolish." 

_ 'Oh god, here we go again.' _

With his patience having run pretty damn thin by then, Seifer twisted his gaze to the ceiling in mute plea and shrugged Quistis' hand off his shoulder. 

"Look, if you're just here to school me then do me a fucking favor and can it, alright? I'm not one of your SeeD cadets anymore, _instructor_." 

"I know that," she suddenly muttered almost soothingly. "Here." 

She thrust the sword out for him to grasp, causing the tall blonde to lace his brows together and cast confused glances back and forth between the blade and her face. 

What was this all about? 

"Now, since when do you trust me to have a sword inside your precious Garden facility?" he asked with unnecessary edge to his voice. 

"It's not your sword, it's Squall's. Besides, who do you think I am? I know perfectly well that you could get a hold of a weapon any time you wanted, if you seriously tried. I'm not that naïve. Hyperion, however, I will keep a bit longer, and you wouldn't bail without it." 

Seifer let out an irritated hiss of air but said nothing. 

So fucking what if she was right? 

"Anyway, you should give it to him, Seifer. You're the one who found it." 

"I couldn't care less," Seifer replied coolly. "I don't give a damn. Just makes sure he gets it." 

"No. I want you to give it to him. Please?" 

He was surprised to hear her talk to him in such a civil, almost friendly manner. Usually, Quistis was the first and most eager to lash out at him - well, second after her dear boyfriend Zell perhaps. The spunky martial artist held a deep grudge against Seifer, and the older blonde was fully aware of it. Quite frankly, he wholly enjoyed to toy with Dincht's sensitivity. 

"Trust me," Quistis spoke with emphasis. "Even if it doesn't make a difference to you, it just might make a difference to Squall." 

Though he really did not like to admit it to either himself or anyone else, Seifer did see some sense in her statement. Secretly, he_ did_ want Squall to know who exactly had retrieved his sword, though his intent was of a different nature than the SeeDs may have thought. 

Well, not like it was any of their business anyhow. 

"Fine," he growled, seizing the hilt of LionHeart with unnatural reluctance. 

Not that they'd possibly think he was enjoying this, either. 

"And just so you know," he added, "I had some ultima stones on me that I borrowed from some student, so it's not like I risked my life for the stupid thing." 

Considering his little chase with the T-Rexaurs this wasn't particularly true, but at least it wasn't a blatant lie, either. 

"That you 'borrowed'?" 

Quistis cocked an eyebrow in disapproval. Judging by the blithe smirk smacked down into the guy's face, her assumption of Seifer's definition of the term "borrow" was probably quite correct. She heaved a quiet sigh, knowing perfectly well that somewhere in Garden a student was probably scared out of his wits and a few ultima stones poorer. 

"You really are hopeless, Seifer." 

He merely grinned and tossed her a set of stones that he retrieved from his coat pocket. She caught them nonchalantly, and as she briefly studied the stones' jet black surface, she suddenly remembered something. 

"By the way," she started blankly, "Zell was right." 

Irvine and her boyfriend Zell exchanged dumbfounded looks. Seifer seemed incredulous at the mere concept of Zell being right about anything except for the right amount of mustard needed to create the perfect hot dog. 

"Oh, is that so?" he chuckled mischievously. "Astounding. See what I care." 

"I am talking about LionHeart. It really only does glow in Squall's immediate presence. During our battle with Ultimecia, the spirit of her Guardian Force Griever apparently connected with Squall and LionHeart somehow. It ended up trapped inside his sword." 

"Hmph." 

"I don't know how or why, but apparently the spirit connects with you as well. I wasn't really surprised to see it link to Squall since he has that strange Griever pendant and the soul of a lion to begin with... but you..." 

She suddenly paused, rubbing the fine angle of her jaw in deep thought. 

"What, are ya saying I'm a wimp compared to puberty boy or what?" Seifer mocked outrage. 

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. It's just... I always kind of thought that you and Squall share a strange bond of sorts. It seems like Griever feels it, too." 

He was surprised. Surprised and perhaps even touched, but he masked his emotions well, merely shrugging at Quistis and her friends in mopish and cold indifference. 

"All sounds like funk and fairy tales to me, but whatever floats your boat, instructor." 

In all honesty, it did surprise him that Squall's sword would respond to him in such an unusual way. He had always thought that him and Squall shared an unspoken bond, but he had never expected anyone else to feel it, too. Least of all Quistis Trepe, Queen of all things useless and shallow. 

Perhaps not so impeccable after all... 

_ 'Oh well.' _

"Yeah, well, enjoy yourselves or something. Later." 

He winked at them in typical Seiferish manner and turned with a swirl of his coat, this time stopped by no one as he exited the facility. 

Zell had his light green eyes zeroed in on the blonde's back until he finally disappeared out of sight. 

"You know... he's still an ass, but maybe he does have a heart after all." 

** =To be continued!=**

==========

Awwwwwwww sweeeeeet little Seify, such a cute one =pats Seifer on the head= eek what you planning on doing with that sword??? o.0 =runs screaming like a chickenwuss=

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this one too, thank you to all the ones that reviewed, Seifer plushies for everyone!! =gulps at the expression on Seifer's face= eehhhhh here you go Seify, a Squall plushie for you! watches Seify squeeze the Squall plushie aww isn't that cute, there you go, that's a good Sei… =watches Seifer do outrageously kinky things to the Squall plushie=… ewww… sicko… o.0… !!! 


	17. Promise Me

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 17: "Promise Me"

Seifer's steps and heart were light as he was found trudging merrily towards the infirmary. He was overcome by an unusual, giddy feeling when he looked down upon the softly shimmering aquamarine blade and the prospect of Squall's dumbfounded face when he'd hand him his precious LionHeart. Sure, all in all he was actually somewhat nervous, considering that he hadn't done anything nice for Squall in quite a few years. 

_ 'Well, as long as he doesn't try to yell me out of the room again, I suppose it's all good.' _

Smiling silly like a chocobo at the thought, he hardly noticed the wide pair of eyes that had connected with his large frame curiously. When the awareness of being watched finally _did_ strike him, his gaze slowly raked over the large main hall to come to a screeching halt about three feet below his eye level.

Blinking, he glanced down upon a little girl that had positioned herself behind him, her sky blue eyes practically glued to his back. She looked absolutely adorable in pastel pink shorts and a white t-shirt that had a fluffy blue teddy bear printed on the front. Her light brown hair curled into little pig tails around her face, which immediately lightened up with a smile as she acknowledged the tall man turning around to her.

"Hi!"

A little unsure of whether the girl was seriously talking to him, Seifer turned around and screened the hall, but he was all alone. Slightly irritated, he faced her again, just to discover that both her and her smile were still firmly in place.

"Uhh... hi?"

He didn't necessarily want to believe that he was talking to a girl that he estimated to be about five years old. Seifer had seen plenty of kids scurry away from him as fast as their little legs would carry them, taken by incredible fear of the sorceress knight, but this runt was merely staring up at him with the most unafraid of eyes.

It kind of amazed him.

"Who are you?" the girl inquired, tilting her head to the side as she started to rub the tip of her nose.

"Uh, who are _you_?" he retaliated, almost proud of his smooth comeback.

"Rinny!" she declared, as if it had been the most natural thing in the world.

"... Rinny?"

She nodded her little head fiercely, pig tails fluttering through the air and everything. Seifer scratched his head in bewilderment. He wasn't entirely sure how much he liked holding conversations with kindergarten kids.

Somehow, it made him feel less of a man, or a sane person to begin with.

"And who are you?" Rinny asked again.

"Seifer."

"Hmm... I like your name."

"Thanks... I guess."

"Why are you so dirty, Seifer?"

Slightly baffled, he let his gaze travel down the length of his own body. She surely was a good observer, he had to give her that; he was indeed practically drenched in a lovely (and all the more _smelly_) blend of mud and dirt.

"I was in the training halls," he explained reluctantly.

"Oh, did you play there?"

His emerald eyes went large at the unexpected question. Mentally, he cursed himself for even devoting any kind of effort into talking to this brat. Contrary to his friend Raijin, Seifer had never been any good with kids.

He snorted snidely at the notion.

_ 'Yah, well, he's a damn kid himself.' _

"I don't _play_," he snapped sourly, arrogance weaving its way back into his voice. "I _practice_."

"What do you practice?"

"Stuff."

"Ohhh..." she said softly, almost as if she was pitying him. "I like to play. I'm not allowed to play in the training hall, though. They say it's dangerous. But soon I will be!"

"Right..."

Praying that she was somehow done interrogating him, he shifted uneasily and made a start to turn around and walk away from her, but her azure blue eyes suddenly connected with LionHeart, and she cooed at the sight.

"That's so pretty."

"Yep."

"You're pretty too, Seifer."

His breath hitched in his lungs at the sound of that remark, and he broke into a violent fit of coughs. _Pretty? Him?_

Oh Hyne.

Much to Seifer's dismay, Rinny was all too willing to run to his aid as she saw him choking and cupping his throat against the dry pain. Eagerly, she went to slap his back like she had seen adults do it, but due to her short growth she couldn't reach much but Seifer's butt – which didn't quench her efforts the least bit.

The tall blonde blushed furiously, and he leaped out of her range as quickly as he could. Monsters and manic sorceresses did little to scare him, but this was nothing like it; this kid was the devil himself!

_'Bloody hell...'_

"Better?" Rinny asked, beaming up at him.

"Y-yeah... t-thanks..."

Her chubby little cheeks reddened immediately at the concept of being thanked by such a big, grown up person. Gulping, Seifer started to chew on his lower lip and watched the girl very closely; needless to say, he was quite afraid of her jumping to violate his bottom again.

_ 'Hyne, what did I do to deserve this...? Whatever I did, I swear I'm sorry already.' _

"That's Squall's sword, isn't it?"

He was actually surprised by her inquiry. How would a girl like her know Squall? Had she perhaps spanked his butt, too?

_ 'Interesting image'_, he quickly decided with an evil smirk.

"Yeah, it is," he answered, nodding. "You know Squall?"

"Yes! He saved us from the Galbadian soldiers during the Garden battle last year. He's so strong!"

"I suppose..." Seifer grunted contritely.

Somehow, he couldn't suppress a wave of guilt surging through his body at the memory of his assault on Garden. How many had died, he wondered?

_ 'Don't even think about it. It's no use.' _

"Do you know Squall, too?" Rinny interrupted his dark reflections.

"Uh... yeah, I do."

"He's really pretty, too, isn't he?"

He had thought that this situation couldn't possibly become any worse, but obviously he had been cruelly mistaken. Immediately, his flush deepened as he was roaming his mind for the right thing to say, since this little incarnation of a devil seemingly wasn't going to let him part without an answer of some sorts.

"Uh... eh... yeah... I guess..." he muttered.

"You like him, don't you?" she giggled.

"!"

A croaky, painful sound escaped the captivity of Seifer's throat, and he shuddered in disgust. This kid just _had _to have been possessed, he decided with a snarl. Nobody in their right fucking mind would be asking questions like that! It was downright outrageous!

Finally, he recalled why he had stayed away from children for so long.

_ 'Scary little devils.' _

"Y-you don't like Squall?" she asked with childish, unmasked disbelief. "_I_ like Squall! I like Squall a lot!"

"R-right... I suppose he's okay..." he started lazily, but he quickly waved his hands in defense when he caught a glimpse of her puffed up face. "I-I mean... he's great, fabulous, absolutely. He's the shi-, uh, I mean... yeah, he's great... and I do like him. Like... yeah... uh."

"Oooooh."

"Uh."

"So you're his friend, right?"

Seriously, he did have to ponder that question for a moment, before he finally nodded his head very gingerly.

"Well... something like that, I think."

"I have a friend I like, too," she explained eagerly. "His name's Danny! He's five. I'm going to be his... his... his..."

She paused and threw her forehead into wrinkles, obviously racking her brain hard for a word that was yet beyond her age. Seifer grinned and sighed in relief as he mentally prepared for another attempt at a swift retreat.

Unfortunately, he wasn't quite off the hook just yet.

"I am going to be his BRIDE!" Rinny suddenly declared proudly, eyes shining with determination.

"Eh... yeah... right... Grats, I guess."

"Are you going to be Squall's bride, too?"

Prepared to fall over and beat his brain to pulp on the marble ground, Seifer slapped his forehead in despair.

_ 'I most definitely did NOT deserve this!' _

As he looked upon her again, his left eyebrow had begun to twitch dangerously in matching rhythm to his upper lip.

"That's not very likely," he hissed coldly. "Not very likely _at all._"

"Oh. I'm sorry, Seifer! I'm sure you can be someone else's bride!"

"That's okay," the blonde gunblader gasped in exasperation.

_'Hyne, have mercy, I can't take it any more!'_

But apparently, Hyne wasn't feeling too merciful towards former sorceress knights.

"Hmm..."

She brought her index finger to her mouth, apparently entangled in difficult thoughts, and Seifer had no inclination whatsoever to find out what her hell spawn brain was concocting this time.

Better to escape while he still could, he decided.

"Yeah, well, gotta go, have fun," he mumbled, but just as he tried to push past her, she rose her soft voice again.

"Why is Squall sick?"

At last, he slumped his head and shoulders in final defeat, before turning around reluctantly.

_ 'This just isn't my day.' _

"I don't know why," he answered with an evasive shrug. "He just is."

"Will he be better soon...?"

At the sight of shadows of tears darkening her innocent eyes, something cold and hard within Seifer melted and gave in. Suddenly, he felt like an utter fool. He had been way too rash with this girl. After all, she was just a kid, and she could hardly know what she was talking about. He started to hate himself for having become so withdrawn and aggressive.

Apparently, being hunted and insulted for almost one year did pay its toll on a person after all.

"I'm sure that he will be," he replied quietly.

"He... he's not going to die, is he?"

Now the tears that had threateningly pooled against the sky blue surface of her eyes erupted at last, and they washed down her soft, round cheeks as she sniffled gingerly through her nose.

"H-hey..."

Slowly, he lowered himself onto one knee before her and put a large hand on her tiny shoulder, feeling her body shudder with helpless sobs.

"It's okay. He's not going to die, Rinny. He'll be just fine."

"Do... do you promise?"

He looked at her silently for a moment, insecure jade meeting pleading azure blue. As his lips stretched into a kind smile, he closed his eyes and nodded firmly.

"Yeah, I promise."

Seifer hadn't quite been prepared for the girl to suddenly lunge into his arms and muffle a weak "thank you" against his broad chest, but after his initial surprise he hugged her back carefully with one free arm, almost afraid of breaking her little body.

"It's okay, sweets," he whispered quietly. "Don't cry. It's alright."

She nodded into their embrace, and suddenly she retreated to look up at him with a gaze that was sparkling with pure hearted sincerity and admiration.

"Yes, because you promised."

He smiled widely, revealing rows of perfect white teeth.

"That's right, you got it."

He patted her hair tentatively before rising back to full height, his left hand still wrapped about the hilt of LionHeart.

"Well, I have to take this to Squall now."

"Okay, Seifie."

Seifer grinned at the nickname. He hadn't been called "Seifie" ever since he had hit ten years of age. Somehow, it was incredibly touching to hear it again. Memories of a childhood that hadn't been weighed with woes and nocturnal dreams streamed into his conscience, and they made him feel strangely melancholic.

"I'm sure I'll see you around, Rinny," he eventually murmured, trying to push away the sadness that inevitably came pouring in.

Chestnut brown pig tails were flailing through the air as she nodded her head at him and turned around, waving a zealous good-bye.

"Bye, Seifie!"

Smiling again, Seifer raised one hand and waved it gently through the air. He was fully aware of the fact that anyone seeing him that very moment wouldn't have possibly believed to be laying eyes on the real Seifer – the guy that never lost his masculine cool – but for just a while, he allowed himself to not give a damn at all.

.  
.  
.  
.

**----------------------  
To be continued!  
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**

* * *

**

Har Har Har! This was the punishment for Seifie molesting the Squall plushie!

Sorry if this seemed somewhat pointless, but I had written one of the later, angsty chapters earlier, and I felt the need for some fluff :) Plus, Seifer isn't an utter meanie, that's why he didn't walk away on the chibi to begin with, sooo… time to show more of your soft side there, buddy!

And yes, there will be more Squall from now on! I'm kinda surprised with myself, usually Squall is my favourite character, but Seifer is a lot of fun to write about, his character is so complex. I hope the Seifer-fans enjoyed this a little bit ;)

And before I forget... I got my 100th review! I almost molested Seifie, I never thought I'd get so many reviews! Hehe. Thank you guys soooooooooooooooo much, it's all your wonderful feedback that makes me want to make this story a good one. I really hope you will like this in the future, too, I promise to do my best.


	18. Reunion

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 18: "Reunion"

Placid whispers and the soft humming of birds in the afternoon breeze lazily sidled their way into the waking conscience of a white-clad, dark haired figure resting peacefully in a heap of stark hospital sheets. Finally, deep pools of slate blue revealed themselves from beneath fluttering eyelids that peeled open ever so gingerly. 

He had dreamed; some strange, thick and mellow dream that had left him with an implacable feeling. It wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, but every time he tried to reach for and understand it, it seemed to slip right through his fingers and far away from him, only to steal its way right back into his mind as soon as he had given up and let go.

A deep sigh heaved his chest and his eyes roamed the all too familiar ceiling above him. Just how long had he been forced to remain in this bed already? It could have been mere days, but to Squall Leonhart, it felt like eternity. He wasn't used to entrapment, and he wasn't used to being dependent upon the support of others. He didn't very much like it, either. For Hyne's sake, he couldn't even _sit up_ without their help! Sure, in some way he probably had brought this punishment upon himself by continuously trying to struggle out of their keeping, but that knowledge did nothing to improve his foul mood.

Pondering whether or not he should call the doctor or one of the nurses to ask them to raise his bed for him, he let his head droop to the left in his pillows, his vacant gaze searching for the buzzer on top of his night stand.

As storm blue connected with softest azure, his breath almost collapsed in his lungs.

With the most quizzical and thunderstruck look plastered across his pale complexion, Squall gaped at the long, slender sword resting against the seat of a chair only a few feet away from his bed. It was ways beyond his reach, but it did not take the familiar feeling of sleek metal and mysterious aquamarine for him to recognize the one thing he held most dearest.

_ 'LionHeart...?' _

His eyes were still working at processing the image, but his mind was already dying to find out who had managed to retrieve the sword at last. Frankly, Squall had pretty much given up hope of LionHeart ever being found again. Quistis and the others had already spent days searching for it without any result, and even though the knowledge bothered him, he was well aware of the fact that they had been trying their hardest. He knew, because he had questioned them on every single one of their visits – some of the few scarce words he had actually bothered to voice during those times.

And yet, all the same, there it was...

Slowly, his hand reached for the buzzer on his table, his fingers pushing the button mechanically while his gaze never left his sword, afraid that it would simply vanish again if he dared to look aside for too long. For some reason, he had always felt oddly comfortable and sheltered in the weapon's faint glow, but even though LionHeart still looked the same way he had remembered it, something about it seemed to have changed. He couldn't quite place his finger on the sensation, but there was something about it that called his instincts to be alert.

Only mere seconds after he had rung the buzzer, the door opened to admit Doc Kadowaki. Her wrinkly features stretched into a firm smile at the sight of his face turning to meet her's, and she stepped up to his bed.

"Well, Squall, I see you woke up. How did you sleep, dear?"

He blatantly ignored her kind question and flicked his head around to look at LionHeart again.

"My sword..." he started hesitantly, devoid of any other thing to say. "How...?"

"Oh yes," she said blithely, never ceasing to smile, "Your sword was found after all. I'd assume that you must be quite happy now, sweetheart."

"Who... when did they find it?"

"A few hours ago while you were still asleep. Seifer brought it in."

"Seifer...?"

His eyes snapped wide at the sound of Seifer's name. _Seifer Almasy_ had brought his sword? Just what was _that_ supposed to mean? Seifer Almasy had no reason whatsoever to come anywhere _near_ his sword, much less to actually return it to him.

This made no sense at all.

"Yes, Seifer," Kadowaki explained as she saw Squall's baffled face. "He walked in here making quite a mess, actually. The dear boy was all covered in dirt."

_ 'Dirt...? Why dirt?' _

"Usually I would not permit a muddy student to drop in on a patient visit," she continued sternly, but her face softened immediately, "But... it was quite charming how he came trudging into my office, desperately trying to clean your sword with his dirty sleeve."

Squall simply continued to stare at her blankly, his blue eyes flickering with incomprehension.

"Well, I lent him a towel, so he cleaned your sword properly before he dropped it off. I certainly wasn't too convinced of having a weapon in my infirmary, but I reckon this is a special situation, and he did promise to keep it safely out of your reach."

The brunette was too preoccupied to even raise as much as a brow at her last comment. Apparently, Seifer had brought his sword _and_ tried to clean it up for him. Just why exactly the older gunblader would do anything even remotely nice like that was far beyond Squall's understanding. He had treated Seifer like garbage during the blonde's last visit – not very encouraging for niceties, to say the least.

On top of that, Squall understood perfectly well that Seifer was not residing at Balamb Garden on his own accord. Why should he? Quistis and the others had probably hauled him back to his old school kicking and yelling every inch of the way. Why they had done it, he didn't know, but it didn't matter either way.

Seifer Almasy would never visit him out of his own free will without any sort of strings attached.

That thought stung somehow, and he made sure to squash it ruthlessly, almost satisfied at the feeling of it crushing beneath his metaphorical heel. It wasn't like he really wanted to care, anyway. He was so very sick of people stepping in and out of his life that he found it much easier to keep them out entirely.

A firm knock at the door drew him out of his musings. His head shot up, fine wisps of chocolate brown hair washing against his alert eyes and high cheek bones. For just the glimpse of a moment, he was hoping and dreading that one person in particular would enter, but his childish hopes were disappointed.

A familiar tall blonde female entered the room upon Kadowaki's order to come in, her cobalt eyes looking hesitant. At the sight of Squall being awake and the doctor standing by his bedside, her face lit up and she smiled.

"Hi, Squall," she said cheerfully. "Good to see you awake. How did you sleep?"

"Fine," he growled brusquely, not meeting her eyes.

The doctor exchanged curt glances between the two of them, then proceeded towards the door.

"Well, I'll leave you two, I have some things to tend to. Or was there anything that you needed, Squall?"

The brunette shook his head briefly from side to side. Kadowaki nodded at him thoughtfully, her gaze somewhat distant, before she left and closed the door behind herself.

With his eyes much narrower than when told who had returned his sword to him, Squall watched how Quistis crossed the space between the door and his bed and walked up to the only chair in the room.

"Ah. I see he brought it in already."

The dark haired SeeD nodded vaguely, watching her out of the corner of his eyes. She merely smiled and lowered herself into the chair, fashionably crossing her legs.

"That must've been strange for you," she continued. "What did he say?"

"... Nothing," Squall grunted quietly, glaring at the bed sheet draped loosely over his legs.

"Nothing? What do you mean?"

"I was asleep."

Her golden eyebrows arched in bewilderment, Quistis leaned forward slowly and tilted her head to the side.

"He brought it while you were _asleep_?"

The note of astonishment in her voice was impossible to miss. Squall snorted.

"As you heard," he replied tartly.

"So you didn't even see him?"

"You'd figure as much."

Her head slowly edged away from him, deep thought suddenly obvious in the royal blue of her eyes. She had obviously expected Seifer to brag and boast over his success, but instead he had done _this_? Well, considering his behavior in the training hall, perhaps it did make sense. He had seemed rather reluctant to talk with anyone about his search, or his triumph at that.

Still, this was unlike Seifer. Why would he go through the troubles of snatching LionHeart from those dangerous grounds, just to drop it off at his arch-rival's room without a word? He had had no reason _not_ to blow his ego completely out of proportions over it.

Unless...

Her eyes went wide at the thought.

_ 'Oh, come off it, there is just no way... or is there? I suppose it's not entirely out of the possible. But this is Seifer and Squall we're talking about here! The guy with the most inflated ego in the world and the prince of grouchy monosyllables... like that's going to happen! Oh my... wouldn't it explain a few things, though? After all, what Seifer did was really nice... **too** nice if you ask me...' _

"So... I take it you don't even know that Seifer was actually the one who went and searched LionHeart?" she asked slowly.

"He... what...?"

"Yes. Me and the others had nothing to do with it. We ran into him in the training grounds, but he had already found it. All by himself, and mind you, he didn't even have a weapon since I took Hyperion from him. He went in there only to find your gunblade, even though it was clearly a dangerous task."

She studied his features intently, but Squall was an expert at masking his emotions. Nonetheless, she saw something like deep, heartfelt surprise flickering in his eyes.

"He looked pretty battered, too," she added hopefully.

Squall remained quiet, his blank gaze apparently permanently attached to his sheets. Questions and feelings were forcing their troublesome way from his heart into his mind, and suppressing them suddenly became very difficult.

_'Why did he do this? What's he trying to accomplish? Who's he trying to impress by playing Mister Nice Guy? Idiot. Well... maybe she's lying. This doesn't sound like the Seifer I know. Then again... he didn't much seem like the Seifer I knew last time I saw him, either... Hmph. Whatever.' _

"And there is something else," Quistis continued, her voice sort of swaying with dramatic potency. "LionHeart was actually_ reacting_ to him. It was glowing in his hands."

This did catch Squall's attention, briskly so, and his gaze whipped up to meet her's.

"What?"

"Yes," she nodded at him assuringly. "I couldn't quite believe it either, but I saw it with my own eyes. It was quite amazing. Do you know why it would do that?"

The puzzled look on Squall's handsome face told her that he had no more of a clue than she did. However, his eyes did lock on to the slender blade of LionHeart, and for a moment she thought that she saw his features darken a few crucial shades, his arcane eyes meshing with a form of understanding. The moment passed, though, and Squall's head lowered again.

"Whatever," he replied coolly, his emotionless façade snapped tightly back into place.

Quistis sighed. For a second there, she had seriously expected that Squall would open up to her and discuss the possible meanings behind LionHeart's odd reaction to Seifer. But Squall guarded his thoughts and emotions like a wary blood hound, and his defenses were yet unscathed. She found herself wondering just what exactly Seifer's "secret" was. The blonde always managed to stir Squall's frigid temper with ease, drawing his soul out from behind its bland veneer.

How he did it, she had no idea at all. _Why_ he did it... well, she was certainly going to try and figure that one out for herself.

"Did you want anything, or why are you here?" the voice next to her suddenly drawled icily, repulsion over her lingering presence only too evident.

She blinked in surprise at this particularly nasty display of rudeness, but she was much too used to it already to actually be insulted by it. Somehow, she managed to not let the small smile falter from her lips.

"Nothing in particular, no," she replied lightly. "I just wanted to see how you were doing and check if Seifer had brought back LionHeart already."

When Squall said nothing and merely seemed to be grinding his teeth, she shook her head in growing exasperation and rose from her seat.

"Well, I see that he did, and that you're obviously not in the mood for conversation."

_ 'When was Squall **ever** in the mood for conversation? Well, I suppose he was for a little while, when Rinoa was still around...' _

She froze the thought immediately, pushing away the memory of the brunette girl that she had never particularly liked, anyway. Then she looked down upon Squall, who was yet persistently ignoring her.

"Are you going to have dinner soon?" she asked, still trying to be polite.

He nodded once, then resumed to staring into bland nothingness.

"Okay... I'm sure the others will stop by later. They're kind of busy right now, you see. Zell had to run downtown and Cid is trying to get back into the habit of running Garden. Edea is spending a lot of time with Selphie... I think she's planning on helping her and Irvine with the re-building of Trabia. They're even working on a plan of erecting a new Garden facility in Dollet."

Quistis realized once more that no matter what she said, it didn't faze Squall the slightest bit. Either he wasn't paying attention or he simply didn't care, but it made no real difference. Lately, she always felt like she was talking to a brick wall when she was around him. Things did seem to have improved slightly since Seifer's arrival, though, so perhaps there was hope for the future.

"Enjoy dinner then, Squall. I'll check on you again tomorrow."

This time, he didn't bother to do so much as nod.

"Bye, Squall."

She crossed the room and closed the room behind herself quietly, leaving the dark haired Commander to his own world of self-monologues and imperturbable solitude. As she fastened her hand upon her hip and sighed irritably, she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

_ 'I'm just glad he didn't have to **talk** Ultimecia to death. Hyne knows we'd still be fighting her now.'_

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Well, here you have it, more Squall! He frankly isn't much fun to write about in his current condition, all mopey and gnarly, but at least he is all the while CUTE! Just picture him in a hospital all lost and immobilized from the waist down… Errrr no Seifer, I wasn't talking to YOU! Get that mind out of the gutter, NOW o.0

Aww… all those wonderful reviews, I'm amazed that anyone but me actually enjoyed Seifer talking to the little girl ) I was feeling sooo fluffy )


	19. Different, Yet the Same

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 19: Different, Yet The Same

He had spent that evening, the following two days, as well as most of the third day waiting for Seifer to show up at his bedside to boast with his great deed and mock him with the fact that he, the ever magnificent Seifer Almasy, had to bring little puberty boy Leonhart his sword back.

Surprisingly enough though, Seifer never showed up once.

All of his friends had stopped by Squall's room, even Cid, who had been busy getting back into the habit of running Garden, which even with the help of Quistis had apparently proved to be difficult. Seifer, however, had stayed away.

Finally, Squall decided that it was enough. He wasn't much looking forward to being teased and made fun of again, but he did know that he owed Seifer at least something like a thank you. His gunblade meant enough to him to step out of his glacier shell for just a moment and express his gratitude.

Thus, he found himself ringing his buzzer and looking slightly uncomfortable when Doc Kadowaki entered his room and asked what he needed.

"I need to talk to Seifer," he told her, trying to sound as indifferent as possible.

"Oh. Of course, I'll have someone look for him, dear."

Squall nodded and watched her disappear. He had seen the surprise in her eyes, though she had tried to conceal it. He understood, to a certain degree, since Seifer was the first person he had actually _asked_ to see after stubbornly refusing as many visitors as he could.

_'Not that I really want to see him. Certainly not. I owe him a thank you, nothing more.'_

His trademark frown deepened, as if glaring at his bedsheet would help make the thought more believable. It didn't. Quistis' words kept crossing his mind, and he couldn't help but feel an unusual warmth inside at their meaning.

_..:"All by himself, and he didn't even have a weapon because I took Hyperion from him. He went in there only to find your gunblade, even though it was dangerous.":.._

Fact was, he_ did_ want to see Seifer. He had jolted every time his door had opened, just to slump back into his pillows when he realized that it hadn't been the self-assured blonde he had secretly been waiting for.

_'Damn him.'_

His head fell against his raised mattress and he death glared the opposing wall for a change. He loathed himself for having such a soft spot for his old rival. It wasn't even like he could place his finger on the feeling, it was simply there, bugging him.

After the Ultimecia incident, it had been easy to let Seifer go, he had had Rinoa, his friends, his new job. Him and Seifer had always clashed anyway, they were both too headstrong and complete opposites to begin with. Squall knew that they were never meant to get along. Now that he was all alone again though, even if it was all by choice, Seifer had suddenly emerged out of nowhere for no apparent reason and whirled up his will and emotions like it was nothing.

A knock at the door tore Squall out of his grim musings. When his conscience flashed back into reality, his heart jumped in his chest and he felt heat rising to his face.

_'Calm the hell down, it's just him. It's nothing.'_

He couldn't know that at the other side of the door, another person was telling himself the exact same thing. A tall blonde wearing long, loose-fitting black pants, which he had tucked into his heavy boots lazily, as well as a much more form-hugging pale ruby colored sweater, pushed into the room hesitantly, his glowing emerald gaze snapping itself onto the motionless boy in the bed with great reluctance.

For several moments, neither of them spoke. Though their minds worked so surprisingly similar, they couldn't appear any more different. While one had hair dark as strong coffee and skin pale as milk, the other seemed to glow from the inside with honey blonde hair and sun worn skin. The face of the first was flowing like water, feminine and frail, while the latter's features had a distinct edge to them, giving away the man he had grown to be. One was consisting of agility rather than brute strength, the other looked as if he was capable of uprooting small trees. And finally, one was the typical loner, always the first to withdraw and the last to care, while the other enjoyed being the center of attention and never hesitated to speak up for what his heart desired.

Nonetheless, both of them tried equally hard to keep their equally handsome faces as vacuous and distant as they possibly could. Neither of them succeeded exceptionally well.

"You wanted something?" Seifer finally broke the odd silence, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other, his hand still holding the door open.

"Yeah," Squall pressed, his voice almost cracking under the sudden strain. "Sit down."

The blonde nodded and closed the door in one motion. His firm steps carried him to the chair resting next to the brunette's bed, and his eyes casually grazed the blue sword resting next to it, which seemed to shift hues from lightest sky blue to deepest cobalt. He ignored it and sat down, facing the boy he had been avoiding for quite a few days already. Stretching his long legs underneath the bed slightly, he allowed himself to marvel over Squall's beautiful face, which had gained a little bit of color since he had last seen him, before he shook the thought off and adjusted his focus to the question of why he had been summoned.

"So, what's up?" he asked, sounding purposely careless.

"I wanted to thank you for finding my sword."

Judging by the dragged expression displayed by Squall's features, Seifer knew that it had cost the brunette a lot of effort to choke those words out. He acknowledged that effort, but he wasn't quite willing to accept it.

"It was nothing," he huffed, waving one hand dismissively.

"The others didn't find it," Squall cut in, "But you did. That's pretty impressive."

"Naw, it was just luck. I found it by accident when I was training."

Caught up in the moment, Seifer didn't even realize the danger of that comment. It didn't even dawn him when one of Squall's eyebrows slowly arched heavenwards.

_'What the hell is he lying for?'_

"When you were training?"

"Yeah."

Squall's steel blue eyes slitted daringly.

"Right... I wonder how you'd possibly be able to train, considering your sword is locked away?"

_'Ah, crap.'_

Mentally, Seifer slapped his forehead. His first attempt at being modest, and he had failed miserably. Lying in the presence of Squall Leonhart just wasn't one of his strengths.

"... Look, it was no big deal, really."

He flashed the most rogueish and arrogant Seifer-smirk he could muster in the desperate attempt to emphasize his point.

"You've got it back now, so no reason to not get better from now on, snow queen."

Seifer knew how much Squall hated the cornucopia of nicknames the blonde had invented for him, but surprisingly enough, this time Squall chose to ignore it.

"Thanks. I… really appreciate it."

"Whoa," Seifer exclaimed in mock surprise, "Don't get all mushy on me now, or you'll fool me into believing you have a heart somewhere in there after all."

He jabbed his index finger into Squall's chest as if trying to anger the younger one by all means necessary, but when he saw how Squall's features slanted wryly and he winced at the contact, Seifer suddenly remembered who he was toying with and what condition the boy was in.

"Ah, shit, I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

The concern in his eyes was sincere, his smirk vanished, and even though Squall was taken aback and moved by Seifer's reaction to his poorly hidden pain, he rather wanted to be damned than show it.

"Don't go all mother hen on me or you'll fool me into believing you care about anyone but yourself after all," he hissed coolly.

Seifer's eyebrow started to twitch dangerously. Even in sickbed, Squall was nobody to take lightly. A couple hurt bones or not, his tongue was as sharp as ever.

Squall was pleased at Seifer's reaction. He wasn't going to let that guy toy with him without slamming up some resistance. He was no longer the little boy he once used to be. He had seen death and he knew betrayal - he would not be played with.

Never again.

"I forgot that ice feels no pain," Seifer replied lightly, "My bad."

"It takes a brain to remember simple things like that," his rival snapped.

They could have kept going like that all night, hadn't it been for Doc Kadowaki who walked in after a brief knock on the door.

"Ah, you're still here, Seifer. How is your arm doing?"

_'His arm…?'_

It wasn't until then that Squall noticed the tiniest speck of white showing underneath Seifer's dark red shirt right above his wrist.

_'A bandage?'_

"What's wrong with your arm?" he blurted out in question, before he was able to call himself into mind that he was supposed to act careless and frigid.

"It's nothing," Seifer said, waving his hurt limb through the air in demonstration, "Doesn't even hurt."

"Silly boy," Kadowaki's stern voice cut him short, "You wouldn't even acknowledge if someone cut your leg off."

She sighed and stepped closer to the bed, pulling the protesting blonde's sleeve up and revealing the bandage hidden underneath it. It only covered his lower arm, until just barely below the elbow.

"He walked in here with that huge sword and a cut across his forearm and claimed that he didn't even notice," she snorted.

"I _didn't_ notice," Seifer huffed defiantly.

He wasn't even lying, either. He vaguely recalled a Grat lashing out at him in the training halls, but he was used to more pain than that, so he had just shrugged it off, and nobody but Kadowaki with her schooled eye had noticed the wound covered almost completely by dirty fabric.

"You re-newed the bandage very well," the doctor said with surprise, "I didn't know you were this skilled with your first aids. You certainly weren't this attentive in your Health Class. What happened?"

Seifer shifted uneasily under her admiring gaze.

"I learned a lot the past year," he said quietly.

Both Squall and Kadowaki looked at him and noticed the faint trace of pain showing through his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared and left nothing but a self-assured young gunblader who pulled his sleeve back down and crossed his arms behind his neck in satisfaction.

"I'm good at everything, I suppose," he cooed proudly.

Squall lowered his head into his hand and shook it desperately. The doctor merely chuckled under her breath, then turned to leave the room again.

"Oh, Seifer," she suddenly paused, "Squall is about to have dinner, do you want to have something, too?"

Immediately, Squall's head shot upwards and he glared at the blonde man warningly, but to no avail. Seifer grinned widely.

"Why, sure, what's on the menu?"

"Spaghetti with tomato sauce or beef with potatoes. What do you boys want?"

"I'll have the beef, Leonhart here wants the spaghetti."

Kadowaki laughed at the killing glance that Squall tossed his bold visitor, but she nodded.

"Very well, I'll bring it in a little while."

As soon as she had closed the door, Squall tried to lunge at Seifer with loathing passion, but of course, his paralysis still in full force, he failed miserably and almost fell off the bed. A strong pair of hands grasped his shoulders just in time and pulled him back into the covers, smirking pitifully.

"Careful there, spunky. You'll hurt yourself."

"Shut it, alright! What was that all about?"

"Oh, the food you mean? I thought the man always orders for the girl?"

Squall let out an angry gasp, but before he could make a new abject attempt at tackling the taller gunblader, Seifer laughed with good humor and patted the furious brunette on the head. The look he was receiving out of dagger sharp blue eyes would have made any lesser man cry.

"You're too funny, Leonhart. I just figured you'd look cuter eating spaghetti than beef. On top of that," he added, "You _did_ want the pasta. You don't eat meat."

The dark haired blader hated his rival's attitude, but more so, he hated the fact that Seifer was right. He would have indeed taken the spaghetti, being a guy that usually didn't care much for dead animals of any sort. Killing so many wild beasts and monsters had squashed his raw appetite for meat distinctly. The only thing non-vegetarian he ate was fish, but he had never quite realized that Seifer was aware of that habit of his.

"Whatever," he hissed, then returned his head to the pillow harshly and hit the button of his remote control TV.

Seifer chuckled and leaned back in his chair comfortably, watching how Galbadia News flickered across the screen. Even if they fought, he still enjoyed spending time with Squall. His tantrums and death glares had a certain cute edge to them that had never before seemed so bodily present.

_'Cute? Don't even think about it, Almasy, you know better than to fall for this guy.'_

While they quietly watched the news, side by side, never daring to throw a single glance at each other, it never occurred to Seifer that it was already far too late for any counselling concerning his feelings towards Squall Leonhart, no matter how earnest his efforts might have been.

He _had_ fallen, and had been falling longer and harder than he even came close to realizing.

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To be continued!

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Oh my… those two are giving me a headache. BUT they are finally moving SOMEWHERE, or aren't they? Oh wait, I am the one that's supposed to know huh?... Yes, they are :)


	20. Blackmail

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 20: Blackmail

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"Seeeeeeeeei-feeeeeeer! Heeey! Wait up!"

Seifer Almasy almost stumbled over his own feet at the sound of Selphie Tilmitt's high pitched voice squealing his name all across Balamb Garden's main hall. It was late in the afternoon and he had just decided to go for a run in the school yard, but somehow he could already tell that his plans were going to be cut short.

Selphie came running towards him as hardly more than a flash of curled brown hair and a scarily baby pink dress. He cocked an eyebrow at the sight of her doubling over and panting heavily once she had caught up with him, hands resting on her knees and muscles shaking.

"I kinda thought SeeDs were more athletic than this," he sneered in amusement.

She looked up at his smirking face and shook a little fist in anger.

"Don't make fun of me, Seifer! What are you running for sooo fast anyway?"

"This is supposed to be a jog, and aside from that, I don't like to put myself on public display here."

He randomly jabbed his finger at a group of girls standing nearby, who were watching them and whispering in commotion. Selphie rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at both Seifer and the girls, before she grabbed his arm.

"You have to come with me!"

Frowning, he tried to shrug her arm off, but her grasp was surprisingly firm. Still, that didn't keep him from continuing in his quick-paced stride. Snorting in annoyance, he simply dragged the struggling girl along.

"_Seifer_! Stop walking away on me already!"

"Why?" he asked reluctantly.

"We're having a m-e-e-t-i-n-g! Duh-uh!"

She sighed in exasperation, as if that was something he should have known all along.

"Well, excuse me," he hissed sarcastically, "And what do you need _me_ for, anyway?"

"It's about Squall."

He stopped in his pace, though he still didn't heed to her desperate attempts of dragging him along.

"What's with him?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "Quistis told me to get you for the meeting about Squally, so that's what I'm gonna do!"

To emphasize her point, she gave his arm another fierce tug.

"Come onnnnnnn!"

Sighing in defeat, he eventually complied and followed her to the elevator, up to the second floor where, he vaguely remembered, the headmaster's office was. His mind was already working at full speed, worrying about whatever was possibly wrong with Squall this time around. He hadn't seen him since their little dinner in the infirmary the evening before, and originally, he had planned on paying the brunet a visit after his run.

When Selphie pushed him into the large office that had lately been occupied by Cid and Quistis, he gasped in surprise. Flopped onto tables or into chairs sat Quistis, Edea, Irvine, Zell, Cid and Doc Kadowaki. Their eyes turned towards them, and Cid stood up in greeting.

"Ah, you found him. Thank you, Selphie."

The small girl beamed proudly, nodded and bounced over to Irvine to jump into his lap like an over-zealous puppy dog. The cowboy groaned under the force of her leap, but somehow, he miraculously managed not to drop her. Selphie merely grinned, her green eyes now locked onto Seifer.

"Soooo, what now?"

"Ah, yes," Cid started, "Well, since we're all here now, I suppose we can get started. Seifer, would you like to have a seat?"

The blonde slowly shook his head, a glint of mistrust smoldering in his eyes. He wasn't too fond of weird little assemblies like this - _at all_.

"Well, alright then, as you wish. Sybil, would you like to start?"

Doc Kadowaki nodded at the mentioning of her first name and her wise grey eyes grazed the room, lingering particularly long on Seifer, before she finally cleared her throat.

"Yes, thank you. As you all know, Squall has been in the infirmary for over a week now, and his condition is improving. He's not dependent upon the IV anymore and his bones have healed almost completely."

Seifer heaved the tiniest of sighs, which, to his fortune, went unnoticed by everyone else.

_'So he is okay. Then what's the big deal?'_

"This morning he asked me when he could leave and go back to his room, and I said I would talk to Cid about it. After a long discussion, Cid and I came to the conclusion that at this rate, it would probably be best to grant Squall's wish. He has been behaving well, and I fear that if we keep him strung to his bed and the infirmary any longer, he's going to withdraw again, and maybe even quit eating."

"Yes, and we wouldn't want that to happen, of course. He's been doing so well," Cid interrupted her. "So, we decided to release him from the sickbed and let him return to his room."

Seifer scratched his head, a little unsure of where this whole situation was headed.

_'And what the hell do they need me for again? Looks like the brains behind this have already decided and I'm just part of the crowd.'_

"However," Cid suddenly drawled, "We also decided that we can't leave him all alone just yet. Therefore, we figured that it would be best if someone was to room with him."

Seifer's jaw locked tightly in place as his eyes stretched to the size of saucers. They couldn't be serious. Someone was to room with the ice prince himself? What a joke. Squall Leonhart would rather throw his happy self off a cliff in Esthar than share his personal space with any living being. Just how exactly they were going to force a roommate onto the brunette was absolutely beyond him.

_'I feel for the person that has to put up with his hissy fits already.'_

"And after talking to Quistis, it seems as if the best person for the job is you, Seifer."

Seifer wasn't the only one gaping in surprise at the statement. Across from him, Zell and Irvine exchanged thunderstruck glances.

"... ME?" Seifer bellowed in disbelief. "Why _me_ of all people? Are you outta your fuckin' mind, Quistis?"

Quistis shifted uneasily under his virulent green glare that could have surpassed one of Squall's death glares on a bad day.

"Well," she started hesitantly, subconsciously withdrawing towards Zell, "First of all, you're a guy, and…"

"SO?" Seifer snapped, his breath tumbling out of his throat, "So are _they_!"

He jerked his finger in the general direction of Irvine and Zell, before his eyes slitted dangerously.

"Or is there anything wrong with your anatomy that I should know about?"

Irvine jumped in his seat, causing Selphie to yelp and almost fall. She glomped her boyfriend's neck tightly and pulled him back into his chair, wrestling both gravity _and _Irvine's desire to wipe the smirk off Seifer's face. Zell made a furious attempt at lungeing for the blonde's throat, but Quistis held him back.

"Seifer, stop!" she pleaded, "Will you just listen to me before you randomly insult people?"

Grunting, Seifer folded his arms in front of his chest, determined to object to whatever grand idea the instructor might come up with. He was so sick of people just ruling over him and his will as if it didn't even matter.

"Look, Selphie and I can't room with Squall, for obvious reasons. And out of all the guys, you have gotten along the best with Squall in the past week. He started to eat because of something _you_ said, and _you _found his gunblade for him! You can't make me believe that you don't give a damn about him!"

"The point is not what I give or don't give about him," Seifer hissed, "I am _not_ going to room with him! He'd slice my throat before I even set foot in his apartment!"

"No, he wouldn't!"

"Hell yeah, he would! Leonhart wouldn't share as much as a bag of chips with anyone, let alone his fucking _room_! How thick are you?"

Quistis looked slightly hurt at the comment, but Cid rushed to her aid.

"Now, now," he murmured soothingly, "We are quite aware of the fact that he won't exactly be gleaming with joy, but I think he would rather put up with a roommate than stay strapped to the bed in the infirmary."

"Even so, what is it to me?"

"You aren't here of your own free will, are you, Seifer?"

_'... Dammit.'_

The old man did have a point there.

"And...?"

"If you agree into rooming with him for a few weeks, just until he's doing better and safe on his own, then you are free to go wherever you want."

Seifer slapped his head in exasperation. He couldn't believe that they were pulling that bait on him _again_. What in Hyne's name was he, just a pawn in their petty little game of overpowering the SeeD Commander?

"I thought I'd only have to visit him a couple of times and get him to talk!" he growled hotly. "You never said a fuckin' word about having to do something like _this_! This is bullshit, I'm not gonna-"

"We never said that you _didn't_, either," Quistis interrupted him defensively, "We brought you here so you'd break through to him and help him get better!"

"And I _have_, haven't I?"

"Yes, you have," Kadowaki suddenly cut in, "He has been doing much better, thanks to you, but he isn't back to normal by any means. It will take time and until then, Squall will need help, Seifer. His condition is very fragile right now, he could slip over the edge again any time if we just leave him to himself. Please, a couple of weeks, that is all we are asking."

As many times as he turned the idea over in his head, it didn't appeal to him any more. It wasn't even so much the plain idea of sharing a room with Squall that bothered him, but the way he was being ruled over and the way he could already picture Squall reacting to the idea. The brunette would never give in, and Seifer didn't care to listen to the puberty boy refusing him like a worthless piece of shit.

"Seifer, please."

He looked up and into Edea's glowing amber eyes. Her face still creeped him out every now and then, causing memories of mental torture and oppression to wash through his mind. She was radiating sincerity though and her hand was warm as she cupped his cheek.

"You and Squall liked each other as children, and you still do now. You…" she hesitated suddenly, "You even cared for him while Ultimecia controlled us, you and I. I remember feeling your conscience fight against her presence, against the things she made you do to him. You are strong, Seifer, and Squall needs your strength now."

He swallowed hard, moved by her words, and he wasn't the only one. Zell stood perfectly still, a rather unusual state where the spunky blonde martial artist was concerned, and his light green eyes were fixed on his arch nemesis. Suddenly, he recalled something that Quistis had told him a couple of days before.

_..:"Seifer cares a lot more for Squall than he admits. He isn't the same guy he used to be, Zell. Something about him has changed within that year that he was gone. He's been through pain, too, you know? He really cares, and there is something between him and Squall that neither of them fully understands yet.":.._

He had protested heavily that night, but maybe his girlfriend had been right after all. The touched and insecure expression on the usually so cocky man's face suggested that there was far more to Seifer's and Squall's relationship than initially met the eye.

"Fine," Seifer finally grunted, "I'll do it. Don't ever try to blackmail me into something like this again, though, or you'll be sorry."

Edea smiled back at him warmly.

"That's fine. I promise you that we won't."

Quistis let out a quiet sigh of relief and Cid nodded blithely in satisfaction.

"Thank you, Seifer, this means a lot to us. I promise that you will only have to stay for a few weeks longer. Zell and Irvine will help move your belongings and your bed into Squall's apartment. Sybil is going to release Squall tomorrow after you boys are done."

Seifer nodded quietly, but suddenly, jade green narrowed to slits.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"He will find out tonight. Maybe you should be there, too."

"Yes, that's a good idea," Kadowaki agreed.

"Yeah, whatever…"

His shoulders slumping in dismay, the blonde sighed deeply in his chest; this was going to be a real hoot.

"Okay, well, that's it for the meeting, kids. Zell, Irvine, you two are going to help Seifer tomorrow, okay?"

"Roger," Zell complied readily, and much to Seifer's surprise; he had expected a tantrum of some sorts.

"Very well. Have a good night then. Seifer, are you coming along?"

The tall blond nodded grudgingly and followed the happily beaming Quistis, Cid and Kadowaki into the lift. Somehow, he couldn't shake off the feeling that by admitting into rooming with Squall, he was in for far more trouble than he had bargained for.

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To be continued!  
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Muaha, who didn't see this coming? I am just too obvious. Or maybe all of our minds are in the gutter? Either way, they won't jump into bed the first night and have sex… but the stones are finally starting to tumble, as my Dad would say :)

I am honestly not sure yet whether this is going to have anything slutty or just something subtle and lots of romance. Since this is my first fic of this kind, I will probably go for the latter… but we shall see! There will be angst, either way o.0


	21. Showtime

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 21: Showtime

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"No, watch the plant! Irvine! IRVINE!"

Zell Dincht squealed at the sound of delicate china shattering into a myriad of pieces on hard marble floors. As a result to his shock, he dropped the box with Seifer's personal belongings that he had been carrying, inevitably jumping at the sound of more glass breaking.

Irvine Kinneas wasn't doing much better. His hands slipped off his side of the metal bedframe they had been lifting and he skidded away in horror. Unfortunately, Seifer was still holding on to his end of the bed, and he cursed rather loudly when his arms were almost yanked out of their sockets.

"Ouch! You fuckin' morons!"

He glared at the mess of smashed up glass and porcelain scattered about in intricate patterns on the floor. Sure, the plant hadn't been his, it was one of the pots carefully positioned in the Garden hallways as decoration, but all the other things that Zell had managed to wreck had been of his very own (and somewhat poor) belonging.

"That's grand, chickenwuss, thanks for ruining my favorite pair of shades!"

He sunk to his knees edgily and picked the debris of his things back into their box. Zell looked down at him in both anger and guilt.

"Sorry," he mumbled contritely.

"Sorry my ass."

He stood back up and shoved the box into Zell's hands, growling like a predator. Zell had to resist the urge to flinch away again, which, obviously, would have resulted in another disaster.

"There, hope you can carry it the last five meters without dropping it again."

He snorted before turning to the broken plant. Somehow, Irvine had managed to run the foot of the bed right into a large pot that anyone not visually disabled would have easily been able to steer clear from. Sure, positioning that thing right next to Squall's door had probably not been the wisest of choices, but regardless, Irvine was nothing short of stupid.

"Ah, fuck it, we'll clean that up later," he huffed and turned to Irvine. "Kinneas. Bed."

The cowboy eyed him suspiciously.

"You've been around that Fujin woman for too long, man."

Seifer's eyes narrowed to slits of emerald, and Irvine realized right away that he had better kept his editorial to himself.

"Do you want me to surgically remove that ludicrous cowboy hat of your's and your useless head right along with it?"

Irvine gulped at the murderous expression on Seifer's tanned face and jumped to grasp his side of the bedframe again immediately, flashing a forced grin. The blonde gunblader smirked with unconcealed pleasure.

"Yeah, didn't think so."

They managed to maneuver the bed into Squall's room after all, this time without shattering anything else. They had already made a few trips prior to this one, moving all of Seifer's clothes and his desk. Seifer had been awestruck by the unnaturally clean state of the apartment, but he had blamed it on Squall's sense of perfection.

Arduously, they cleared a spot right across from Squall's bed and eased Seifer's into place. While Irvine was rubbing his aching arms, Seifer looked around the room in satisfaction. The Commander's apartment was much bigger than his; Squall had a bathroom, a large living-bedroom combination and an open counter kitchen to call his own. Seifer had already given the place a "personal touch" by throwing his trenchcoat over a chair and scattering his clothes all over Squall's couch and bed. He did harbor plans of cleaning up before the brunette's arrival, though, surprising as it might have been. Squall had already blown a few fuses at the mere concept of rooming with anyone, let alone Seifer, so he figured there was no need to anger him any further any time soon.

"Was this all?" Zell asked hopefully.

"Think so."

Seifer glanced around the room once more, then decided to give Squall's fridge a go as his throat was dry as sand.

His eyes widened at its contents, though.

He counted exactly one apple, two bottles of juice and a dull looking piece of unidentified something… he guessed it to be cheese, but he wouldn't have placed any bets on it.

_'Gee, no wonder he looks like the damned hospital bedspread. This isn't exactly what I'd call nutritious.'_

"We're gonna need some groceries…" he started slowly, still staring at the open void in a blank.

Zell skidded past him to peek into the fridge and let out an acknowledging whistle.

"Wow. He's been splurging."

"No kidding."

"I'm gonna get you guys some groceries. Quistis and I need some, too, anyway."

Seifer cocked an eyebrow at the smaller blonde. Zell had been awfully nice to him, only distracted from his new, sweet course every now and then by Seifer's snide comments.

"Okay… thanks."

Zell smirked playfully and bounced back towards Irvine.

"Well, I guess we're done here," the cowboy sighed, "I'll be chowing down in the cafeteria if you need anything."

"I'll bring those groceries later, man."

The tall gunblader nodded at both of them in a gesture of gratitude and understanding before they left him alone with Squall's things.

Oddly, this had gone much better than he had originally anticipated.

_'Oh well.'_

Rubbing his hands together in malicious curiosity, he let out a small chuckle.

_'Let's see what other wonders this place holds.'

* * *

_  
Hours later, he had cleaned the hallway, finished stuffing his clothes into an empty closet and placed his toilet articles in the bathroom. Zell had even stopped by briefly to drop off a pair of paper bags with the promised groceries, so Squall's fridge and kitchen cabinets were actually looking quite satisfying.

He helped himself to an apple, a fresh one of course, and let himself flop into one of the chairs around the dining table. Glancing at the clock, he realized that there was still some time left before he was supposed to pick Squall up at the infirmary.

Chewing on the tangy fruit lazily, he recalled the previous night, when Cid and Quistis had proposed their plan to Squall…

**_----Flashback----_**

"That's a joke, right?"

Squall's eyes were burning with disbelief and slowly boiling anger, casting lethal looks at Seifer, Quistis, Cid and doctor Kadowaki.

"It's the best solution, Squall," Cid tried to soothe him, but to no avail.

"That's bullshit, I'm not a child anymore, I don't need a goddamn baby sitter! I can take care of myself just fine!"

The four exchanged knowing glances, perfectly aware of the fact that Squall was anything but capable of caring for himself on his own. Not in his momentary condition, anyway.

"Look, Squall, I can't let you out of here just yet without being under someone's supervision," Kadowaki tried.

"_Supervision_?" Squall's croaky voice almost stumbled over the word in sheer fury.

Seifer sighed in exasperation. He had known what this scenario would turn out to be like; he wasn't the slightest bit surprised. But of course, the others, in their illusionary fit of brilliance, hadn't wanted to listen to him. Well, he was going to keep his mouth shut and let Quistis and Cid handle the situation. They had brought this onto him and themselves after all.

"Look, Squall, you only have two choices: either you stay here until you're well again, or you go and room with Seifer for a while until your wounds have fully healed and your strength has returned."

"Come on, Squall," Quistis added hopefully, "I know you don't want to stay here."

"Up your's, Quistis!" Squall snapped back icily, only barely keeping himself from flipping her off.

"Squall…"

Her eyes almost popped out of her sockets, causing Seifer to give a rasp chuckle.

_'This is almost hilarious.'_

"Squall, no matter how much you hate the idea, those are your sole options. You're still sick, and doctor Kadowaki is going to keep you here if you don't agree into rooming with Seifer. So, since I'm aware that you don't want to be strung to this bed any longer, I think we both know what you should do, correct?" Cid smiled.

The brunette blinked angrily at the former director, before his steely gaze slid to Seifer. For a moment, they just stared at each other, and Seifer even forgot to flash his trademark smirk. Squall returned his focus to his blanket, his hands clutching the sheet so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Whatever," he hissed sourly.

"Is that a yes?"

Squall's snowy features twitched and his gaze darkened, but finally, he managed to choke out a nod.

"Yes."

**_----Flashback End----_**

Seifer tossed his apple core into the nearest trash can. Laying in his chair, balancing it on the backmost legs, he decided that breaking the news to Squall hadn't been _that _bad, after all. He had expected a little more resistance, if futile. Then again, it wasn't like he had been any harder to convince than the brunette.

Somehow, they had both been blackmailed into the same boat, and by now, it was time to start rowing.

* * *

Mere two hours later, Seifer walked around the room with just a towel draped around his waist, rubbing his hair dry after a long, hot shower and casting an intruiged glance at Squall's TV and movie collection. What he found were some old Timber productions, a couple of dragon movies and far too many historical documentations. 

_'Oh, man. Well, it wasn't like I was expecting any tear-jerkers or porn flicks. Tsk - this is just about enough to make me gag, though.'_

He shook his head and decided that he'd have to pay the Garden's movie rental place a visit. No matter how bad things would get, he'd rather be found naked and dead than watching a movie on "Stultz Jenkins, 97th president of Deling City."

Sighing, he slipped into a pair of baggy light brown pants and a black long sleeved t-shirt. Smoothing back his hair and brushing his teeth in the bathroom, he wondered what it would be like to room with good old Leonhart. He paused for a moment, toothbrush stuck in his mouth, then spat out in the sink.

_'Hell.'_

He rinsed his mouth before he went into the living-room and grabbed the spare key card he had gotten from director Cid. A last look around the room left him with the feeling that it really wasn't all that bad - all his things were pretty much in order and fairly unobtrusive - before he walked out the door and locked it with a flick of his card.

_'Showtime.'  
_  
.  
.  
.  
.

**-----------------------  
To be continued!  
-----------------------

* * *

**

Oh my... a half nekkid Seifer...

WE WANTS ONE!

... Guess I'm not alone, eh ;)


	22. Part of Your World

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 22: Part of Your World

.  
.

Feeling slightly anxious, Seifer walked into the infirmary's waiting room and made a young nurse call for the doctor. Kadowaki turned up looking extremely pleased, and she was smiling in her typical stern manner.

"Ah, Seifer. You're right on time."

The blonde shrugged.

"Is he ready?"

"Yes, he should be getting dressed right now. Do you want to go and check if he's done?"

Seifer curled an eyebrow at that suggestion, not exactly thrilled by the idea of a half-naked Squall glaring or yelling him to pieces, but then again, they were roommates, so being shy was not an option.

Thus, he opened the door to Squall's room boldly, marching in like the president of Deling City himself. He had barely turned around, smirk plastered across his handsome face, when a boot whipped sharply by his head and thudded against the wall behind him.

"Ever heard of_ knocking_, you freak?"

Seifer chuckled at an angrily blushing Squall sitting on the edge of his bed in long black pants, socks and one boot. Sneering, he bent down and picked up the missing match that the brunette had obviously launched at him in short-tempered fury. As he stepped closer to the bed, his eyes marveled at the younger boy's milky pale skin stretching smoothly over supple, well defined muscles. Even though Squall slipped a shirt over his head as quickly as possible, Seifer still saw the bandages wrapped around the SeeD's chest and shoulder.

His smirk faded slightly.

"Give me my boot."

Seifer blinked and adjusted his focus a little higher, to Squall's tart face. Chunks of chocolate brown hair were hanging askew into his eyes, but Squall didn't bother to flick them away - he never did. The blonde thought that Squall looked quite cute that way, because it gave him a wild and rogueish touch, despite the history flicks piling high in his movie rack.

"_Today_, Seifer."

Realizing that he had been staring, Seifer looked away immediately and tossed the boot into Squall's lap carelessly.

"You about ready, Leonhart?"

"Hn."

"I don't speak gibberish like some of us, so talk like a normal human being. At least_ pretend_."

"Drop dead, Seifer."

Squall jerked his other foot into his boot and tied the laces harshly. Seifer watched him with interest, totally forgetting to retaliate the insult. Whenever the brunet bentte over a little too far, he flinched ever so slightly, but there came not a sound from his lips.

_'Well, well... look who's acting tough.' _

The brunette stood and slung a belt around his narrow waist, securing it in the front.

"What, just one belt today?" Seifer snickered.

Squall ignored him and peeled a silver chain necklace with the familiar griever pendant off his nightstand to slip it over his head and allow it to dangle from his neck. He had never quite understood the boy's fetish with lions, but he shrugged it off as yet another one of his quirks.

"Anything beside your gunblade here that needs to go?"

"No. My old clothes are in the laundry. They're probably ruined, anyway."

The tall blonde let his gaze linger on Squall's faded blue, short sleeved shirt for a moment, deciding that it fit the younger man quite well and made his eyes look less harsh, before glancing at LionHeart, which was resting on the floor. His brows lowered distinctly at the sight. The blade had turned an unusual shade of indigo blue, much darker than any color the sword was usually emitting.

"What's with that weird thing anyway? Look at it, that can't be right."

Squall looked at his sword, and his eyes darkened momentarily.

"It's nothing," he replied, "That's normal."

"Why is it doing it, then?"

"I don't know. It's just a sword. Whatever."

His answer came just a little too fast to be believable, but Seifer decided that it wasn't the time and place to coax the truth out of the stubborn brunette. Instead, he bent down and picked the blade off the floor. It_ felt_ normal, but then again, he didn't have much of a clue how a sword could_ not_ feel normal to him.

At his side, Squall had turned and extended his hand in mute order.

"I'll carry it."

Seifer let his gaze travel up and down Squall's tense body in blatant judgement, then shook his head.

"You'll be busy carrying yourself. Don't be so uptight, I'm not gonna break it."

The brunette pondered that remark for a moment, then decided that he was indeed overreacting. After all, Seifer had been the one to retrieve his sword in the first place, therefore it would have been too unfair to act too touchy about it. On top of that, he really did not feel like argueing. Thus, he shrugged and turned to the door.

"Whatever."

Seifer followed him into the waiting room holding LionHeart nonchalantly in one hand, watching closely how Squall in front of him was having slight problems walking. Apparently, laying in bed immobilized for over a week had paid its toll on him.

Outside, Kadowaki was already waiting for them.

"Ah, you're ready. Very well. Don't forget, Squall, I want you in here tomorrow for a check-up!"

"Hn."

"You do have some potions in your room, right?"

"Hn."

"Okay, good. If you'e feeling strange in any way, take one and come see me immediately. Seifer, you're going to keep an eye on him, understand?"

The blonde's sun bronzed features pulled into a wicked grin as he used his free hand to pat Squall over the head. The expected growl and Squall rocking away from his touch amused him even more.

"Why yes, I'll watch over the little one."

"Fuck you, Seifer!"

"Now, now, boys! Easy does it. You have to get along."

The way the tall blonde and his slightly shorter brunette rival were slitting their eyes at each other, though, elicited in Kadowaki slight doubts over the success rate of their plan. Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart could potentially pose a threat for each other. On the other hand, Quistis and Edea had been very convinced of a positive outcome, so she was just going to sit back and watch, at least for a little while.

"Well. Squall, I will see you tomorrow then. Take it easy, your wounds still aren't fully healed."

Squall resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her telling him the same thing for the gazillionth time in less than a day. Instead, he nodded curtly and proceeded out of the infirmary, Seifer glued to his side.

Silently, they walked through the main hall and past some curious students that Squall skilfully managed to ignore. He was in no mood for get-well wishes and useless conversations. He just wanted to get to his room as quickly as humanly possible.

"I bet you're just _dying_ to see what I did to your apartment."

Squall cast an irritated side-glance at Seifer, who smirked down at him cannily.

"I figured some flamingo pink and frog green would go down really well with those blue eyes of yours."

Squall turned on the heels in a flash, whipping around to pierce Seifer with the most virulent glare he could muster. His right hand lashed backwards in an aggressive gesture, typical sign for when the brunet was angry.

"I swear, if you did anything to-"

Suddenly, his stance swayed and he wobbled to his right helplessly, his shoulder connecting with the wall as his vision went black before his eyes. Instinctively, Seifer jumped forward, his free hand grasping Squall's arm.

"Hey, slow down, killer."

He held on to the boy's arm for a moment longer, waiting for Squall to catch his breath and shake his head in an attempt to chase away the blur. Seifer cocked his head to the side, concern seeping into his features even though he tried to prevent it.

"You sure you're ready for this?"

Squall nodded, still slightly out of it, then freed himself from Seifer's grasp.

"I'm fine."

"Whatever you say, Leonhart, but you might want to consider not jumping around like Dincht on dope anymore. Just a thought."

"Keep your thoughts to yourself," the brunette replied wearily.

He drew up his shoulders, then pried himself off the wall. Seifer watched him out of narrow eyes, but said nothing. If Squall wanted to be hurled right back to the infirmary that surely wasn't any of_ his_ concerns.

That was what he tried to tell himself, anyway.

They proceeded to their room, and Squall opened the door in uncomfortable anticipation. He was actually surprised to find everything neat and in good shape. The only things that had changed were the extra bed and another desk shoved up next to his own.

Seifer read his facial expression quite correctly, and he heaved a mock sigh as he dropped Squall's gunblade onto a dresser.

"Really, did you think I'd want to ruin that cosy, surgically clean feel? Not for all the chocobos in the world, Leonhart."

He tried his best to conjure up something like innocent puppy eyes, but naturally, Squall saw right through his act and chose to carefully ignore the blonde. Being in one room with Seifer was bad enough; he definitely had no desire to play along the other gunblader's little games.

Unsure of what else to do, Squall flopped into one of the chairs around his dining table and stared intently at the shiny black surface in front of him. The reflection of a good-looking, but somehow worn out pale face blinked back at him. Fascinated by the mere concept and suddenly entrapped in his thoughts, he marveled at the image until someone in front of him gave a low chuckle.

"So this is what you do all day. You sit in your room, stare at your reflection and talk to yourself behind your forehead. Be still my beating heart, oh the joys of getting to share this with you!"

Seifer threw his hands into the air theatrically, then brought them back down and leaned across the table into Squall, his face stopping mere inches before the brunette's, who edged back in his chair uneasily.

"This has to stop. I'm not even kidding. You get that creepy look on your face, like you're some fucking mental case. I am _not_ going to room with a freak."

Squall jumped out of his chair and his features snapped into a tight, venomous frown. For the length of a heartbeat, Seifer thought that he even saw something like hurt passing across the stark face, but the expression was gone before he could take a closer look at it.

"I didn't _ask_ you to be my fucking roommate! In fact, I'd be the happiest damn person alive if you just got the hell out of here!"

Slowly, Seifer retreated into his seat, then leaned back comfortably.

"If you want to be hurled back to the infirmary and Kadowaki's lovely paralysis potions, be my guest."

The brunette growled like a lion, then trudged sharply to his dresser and picked up his gunblade. Seifer's eyebrows shot upwards at the threatening gesture and his muscles prepared for an attack, but to his surprise, Squall didn't lunge at him in bloodlust. Instead, the boy went to his bed, opened a large container resting against it, and placed the blade inside. He shut the lid with a loud snap, then crossed his arms in front of his chest without turning back around to face the apprehensive Seifer, who had slowly begun to relax again.

"Did you have dinner yet?"

He saw Squall's tense body shifting at the unexpected question. He didn't turn around, but at least Seifer could rest assured that he was listening.

"Yes or no?"

"No."

"Alright. I'm starving... I'll cook us something."

At last, thatcomment_ did_ have an effect on the younger blader. His body twirled slowly, his gaze nailed to Seifer's in leaden disbelief.

"_You_ can cook?"

"Sure. Contrary to some of us, I enjoy eating. I'm a damn good cook, too."

One of Squall's thin dark eyebrows arched and he shifted his weight onto his right foot. He could picture Seifer Almasy doing a lot of strange things, but cooking wasn't one of them.

"Tsk. Just you wait and see, ice princess."

Seifer pulled his sleeves up his tanned arms, revealing the bright white bandage enveloping one of them. Concern flashed through storm blue for just a second, but nowhere near long enough for emerald green to notice. The tall blonde stood up and disappeared behind the counter of the kitchen, and the noise of his rummaging through the cabinets soon filled the room.

Gingerly and uncertain, Squall went back to the table and sat down. He listened to the clattering of pots and knives for a while before he rested his head in his hand irritably and spoke up.

"What are you doing back there?"

"What does it sound like?"

"Don't break my pots."

"The ones you never use?"

The older youth was right, but of course, Squall frowned darkly nonetheless. The way Seifer seemed to easily pick up on all of his habits scared him. He wasn't used to people seeing right through him, and the more he thought about it, the more it worried him. Seifer knew him far too well.

"Hey. Wipe that frown off your face. Talk to me."

Squall blinked past the kitchen counter and saw Seifer looking at him with a face that he couldn't quite describe. He seemed displeased, annoyed, worried, all at the same time. For some reason, it fascinated Squall.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

"Huh?" Squall snapped out of his stupor and returned his gaze to the table surface quickly.

Seifer rolled his eyes towards the sky pleadingly, then disappeared again as he crouched to go through some of the lower cabinets.

"Do you have a shallow… never mind, I found one."

"What the hell are you making?"

He could hear Seifer chuckle in amusement. Somehow, he liked the sound of the other guy's low voice tumbling from his chest like that.

Then he paused.

_'Hyne, pull yourself together.'_

He folded his arms across his chest and brought one leg up on his chair, wincing slightly at the pain jabbing in his upper body. Sighing, he lowered the leg to the ground again and cast another restless look at the kitchen.

"Whatever you're making, if it looks disgusting, I'm not eating it."

"Starve yourself all you want, stubborn brat. Means there will be more food for me."

Squall listened quietly to Seifer chopping food on a wooden board for a little while, before he grew antsy again. He couldn't believe himself; usually, nothing and nobody could break his stoic cool, and yet here he was feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve, too nervous to sit still for longer than three seconds. Unfortunately, he was too proud to walk into the kitchen and watch Seifer, which was really the only thing he felt like doing.

Ten long minutes of moping around later, Seifer had pushed something into Squall's oven and returned to the living-room looking quite pleased with himself. The irritated and anxious look in Squall's slate blue eyes lifted his spirits even more.

"What are you making?"

"Be patient, princess."

"Whatever."

"How come you have all that kitchen equipment anyway if you never use it?"

When he saw the nocturnal and slightly depressed expression dimming Squall's snowy features, Seifer knew that he had struck a chord.

"Oh, touchy subject, huh? Let me guess: Rinoa."

"Can we talk about something else?" Squall snarled immediately.

"Alright. Go ahead, you pick a subject."

Squall seemed slightly overwhelmed at the concept of having to hold a conversation, leave alone keep it going. He thought hard for a moment under Seifer's keen emerald gaze, then tapped his fingers on the table.

"What Guardian Forces are you using?"

Seifer blinked in surprise, then slapped his forehead roughly, groaning.

"Man, you're hopeless, Leonhart."

Slightly offended, Squall's lower lip jutted into a pout, which was an odd contrast to the murder radiating from eyes that shifted hues from blue to grey. It melted something inside of Seifer, and he decided to answer, no matter how lame and evasive he found the question to begin with.

"Alexander. I'm only junctioned to Alexander."

"Why?"

"I don't like the side effects of GF's, so I try to keep them to a minimum. What about you?"

"Eden, Shiva and Bahamut."

"Kadowaki gave them back to you? I heard they stripped you."

"Yeah."

"You got any spells?"

"Yeah."

"You're ahead of me, then. They're probably doing this on purpose, afraid I will hurt their little commander." He laughed. "I'm only junctioned but without a weapon or any spells. Not that I had any to begin with…"

"Still the same lazy spell collector?"

"You got it, Leonhart. I'm too good with my sword, I don't need spells."

Squall twisted his gaze to the sky, but said nothing. Seifer was still oozing self-confidence from every pore, that hadn't changed. Yet, he seemed softer somehow, though it was hard for the brunette to put a finger on the impression. It was just a feeling, after all, and he didn't trust feelings all that much.

They sat quietly for a while, lost in thought and avoiding each other's eyes. The silence didn't exactly feel uncomfortable, but it was different from anything that Squall had ever experienced before. Usually, he was pushed to talk when quiet for longer than two minutes, but Seifer left him alone, at least this one time. It was odd, because Squall _expected_ to be pushed, so everything about the situation was entirely new. He wasn't sure he could handle it.

"Well," Seifer suddenly interrupted, "It should be about done."

The brunette's gaze zeroed in on his opposite in astonishment.

"Already? That was quick."

"It's been 30 minutes."

Glancing at the clock, Squall almost gasped in surprise. Indeed, they had been sitting like that for half an hour. Time had just flown by.

"... Oh."

Seifer's lips curled into a good-humored smirk at Squall's dumbfounded expression. Apparently, time had passed a lot faster for the brunette than for the blonde. It had been difficult for Seifer to remain quiet for so long, but he had tried dearly not to force a conversation onto Squall, and he had succeeded (not that he was surprised, by any means!). He couldn't understand why he was trying so hard in the first place, even though that boy was asking so much of his energy and patience, but he didn't mind a bit.

_'You're definitely getting soft on your old days.' _

He stood up and disappeared behind the counters again, returning with two plates, cutlery and two big glasses of water. Squall slid forward in his chair ever so slightly, anxiety almost burning from his eyes though he tried so hard to suppress it.

When Seifer walked back into the room carrying a large, shallow brown dish between two towels to protect his hands from the heat, Squall's brows lowered and the darkness that swallowed the light in his eyes bordered to disappointment.

"I don't eat-"

"It's vegetable lasagna."

Uncertainly, Squall blinked from the steaming dish to Seifer, who lowered himself into the chair across from Squall.

"Vegetable…?"

"Yeah. You're supposed to eat this, too, ya know, so I'm not going to put any meat in it, silly. Wouldn't want to give you an excuse to skip dinner."

Truth was, Seifer had wanted to make something that the younger boy would enjoy, and he had figured that vegetable lasagna would be a good choice. Judging by Squall's awestruck expression, he had picked rather wisely.

"Well, dig in already. I sure as hell ain't going to spoon feed you."

Hesitantly, as if the food was going to lunge at him and take a bite out of his throat, Squall used the spatula Seifer had brought to heave a tiny portion of lasagna onto his plate. Seifer watched him jabbing his fork at the creamy pasta, peas and carrots for a few seconds, before he flung his fist unto the table with a loud thud, causing Squall jump in shock.

"For Hyne's sake Leonhart, I didn't poison it!"

Scowling, Squall pushed some food onto his fork and maneuvered it into his mouth. His expression was vacant as he slowly started chewing, a bit bothered by the fact that Seifer wouldn't take his eyes off him, eager for a judgement. Finally, Squall's eyebrows raised, and his eyes found the blonde's.

"This is good!"

Seifer leaned back, wholly pleased with himself, and started to fill his own plate as well.

"Told you."

They continued to eat in silence, and Squall even helped himself to a second serving. Seifer acknowledged it in hidden satisfaction, but decided that Squall's first plate wouldn't have stilled a little kid's hunger, anyway. Nevertheless, the SeeD was obviously enjoying their meal, and that was all that mattered.

By the time they had finished, the clock at Squall's wall already displayed "9:10pm" in bright red neon lettering. It had gotten dark and Squall had turned on a couple of lights. Now, he pushed his plate a little further away from himself, signaling that he was done.

"Didn't kill you after all, did it?"

Squall ignored the comment and stood up, grabbing his plate and glass. He carried them inside the kitchen, followed by Seifer's intrigued gaze. When the blonde heard the sound of water rushing, he stood up immediately and bolted behind the counter. Squall was standing at the sink, sponge in hand.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He stepped up to the brunette and grabbed his wrist. Squall gave it an angry tug, but to no avail.

"Dishes," he finally growled.

"No shit, smartass. I'll do them tomorrow, you just got out of the damn hospital. Now get your ass out of here."

Squall first glared at Seifer, then at the knives, pots and cutting boards strung all over his kitchen. His face twitched painfully at the idea of leaving everything in that state for a whole night. However, the look in Seifer's disturbingly green eyes told him that he was not going to get anything done without the blonde being latched onto his arm. Finally, he sighed and yanked his wrist out of Seifer's grasp.

"Whatever."

Seifer watched him walking out of the kitchen with a graceful air that demanded attention. When he heard the sound of drawers being pulled out and slammed back into place, he followed him.

"What are you doing?" he asked again, feeling slightly stupid.

Squall tossed Seifer a brief glance from his squatting position before he rose up, holding a bundle of clothes in his hand.

"Shower."

The blonde leaned against the doorframe connecting kitchen and living room, arms crossed in front of his broad chest lazily.

"Need help?"

Squall's cold gaze held enough chill to freeze fire over.

"No."

"I wasn't talking about scrubbing your back, freak. I meant with your bandages."

"No."

"Gee whiz, your frosty lordship, sorry I asked," the taller man snarled and disappeared back inside the kitchen.

Seifer finished stacking their dishes into the sink, and soon he perceived the loud gush of water in the bathroom. It had seemed to him as if Squall had opened up briefly, just before their dinner, but apparently he had been mistaken. The SeeD commander was as distant as ever. It hurt him, somehow. He would have liked to see the guy smile at least once that night, but then again, he could not recall a true smile to ever grace the brunette's features.

_'Pity.'_

Finally done, he realized that he had gotten quite tired. Sighing, he turned off some of the lights, peeled his clothes off his aching body and slipped into his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. The water was still running, and the sound made him so drowsy that he slid off into deep slumber, never seeing Squall walk out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a shirt that seemed slightly too big for him, toweling dry his wet hair.

Squall stared at Seifer's back raising gently up and down, and he stood frozen in awe for a moment, just watching the other man sleep. He had almost expected the blonde to snore, but he was perfectly quiet.

_'Weird.'_

Shrugging, he extinguished the last lights that Seifer had left on, lowered the blinds of his windows and lay down in bed, immediately curling to a ball under the covers. His mind returned to the blonde cooking dinner for him, an excellent dinner at that, but he was too tired to hold the thought, and soon enough he slipped off into a thick, brooding dream.

Had he not locked it up into a container, he would have seen LionHeart shift hues to a void of nocturnal black…

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Oh my, this was by far the longest chapter thus far. Yes, Squall is being quite the brat, and Seifer is a little too caring maybe (?)


	23. Moonlight Shadows

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 23: Moonlight Shadows

It was during the deep midst of the night, when all of Garden was asleep and even the crickets in the training hall had found a quiet place to rest, that Seifer Almasy was stirred from his leaden slumber by sounds still unidentified by his slowly waking conscience.

His body turned over underneath the tousled heap of sheets, grunting and trying to lock out whatever was cutting into his comfortable doze. Somehow, though, his mind must have decided on its own to not shut itself off again completely, because he was able to perceive muffled groans floating to his ears through the thick night air.

So he _did _perceive them, but he really didn't want to; every fiber of his body was crying for sleep, trying to persuade him to keep his eyes shut. It wasn't until he heard a hitched, suppressed cry that sounded vaguely like a sob that his tangled mind finally snapped awake and his eyelids wide open. His innate knightly, protective instincts told him that something just wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

Silently, Seifer lay still and listened for the sounds around him, soon hearing the familiar muffled weeping again.

_'Squall…'_

He sat up, head still drowsy from his abruptly severed sleep. The room around him was dark, but he could see the dim outlines of Squall's bedframe against the shadows cast from behind the blinds covering their windows.

"Hey," he whispered, barely loud enough for the other to hear him, "You awake?"

There was more whimpering, but no reasonable response. Sighing, Seifer kicked back his covers and placed his naked feet on the cold floor, shuddering at the contact. He was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts, and Squall's room wasn't exactly well heated.

_'That's what you get for rooming with our lordship the ice prince himself. Frost boils.'_

Even at such low temperatures and the ungodly hour of the night, Seifer couldn't restrain his sarcasm. His body slowly lifted out of the blankets and stumbled over to the shadow that was Squall's bed. He towered above it for a moment, undetermined about what to do next. It was really too dark to see Squall's face, at least with his eyes still being fresh from sleep. He would need some time to adjust.

"Are you awake?" he asked again dozily, though not seriously expecting a response.

Below him, he could hear covers shifting and somebody drawing erratic breaths.

"Leonhart?"

More whimpering followed, with Squall's voice sliding all the way from very high to very low. Sighing, Seifer decided to lower himself onto the edge of the mattress, and gingerly, his hands felt for the body entangled beneath the sheets.

He almost jumped at the contact of skin on skin. Apparently, Squall had turned onto his side, and Seifer's hand had found the bare spot where his neck met his shoulders, uncovered by the fabric of his t-shirt. He shuddered without really knowing why, then realized that the body underneath his fingers was doing exactly the same.

Squall's skin was hot, but every muscle of his body appeared to be trembling.

"Squall…?"

Seifer's tone was hesitant, and he was almost creeped out by the way the name sounded from his lips in the depths of the night. He had avoided calling the brunette by his first name for a long time, as if trying to prove a point.

The dark haired SeeD however didn't even hear him; totally entrapped in his dream world and unaware of anyone's presence, he merely kept on weeping.

Finally, Seifer's eyes got adjusted to the blackness of their room, and he could make out the contours of Squall's face and body. The boy's legs were drawn closely to his chest, arms folded around his knees and holding on way too tight. It was too difficult to identify the look on Squall's face, but his features were unnaturally dragged, head rocking back and forth in the pillow.

Somehow, Seifer was glad that Squall was laying on his side facing him instead of with his back turned to him. Slightly overwhelmed by the situation, he really didn't feel like jerking the brunette around more than was absolutely necessary.

The heat at the touch of his fingers paired with the heartbreaking shudders worried him; Squall had just left the infirmary mere hours ago, so the possibility of him being sick was certainly given. After all, he hadn't fully recovered yet. Fever dreams were something that Squall had frequently had as a little child, that much Seifer remembered only too well. Whatever the cause for his turmoil was that time, he was going to find out.

Slowly, Seifer slipped across the mattress, moving further up and turning around so he was actually looking down Squall's body instead of up. Gingerly, he laid one hand flat palmed against the skin of Squall's forehead, feeling the heat and dampness of sweat.

_'This isn't good.'_

His hand found one trembling shoulder, and after a moment of hesitation, he firmed his grasp.

"Hey, Squall! Wake up," he tried. "Come on!"

Duelling the shivers that were already convulsing the frail body, Seifer started to shake him.

"Wake up," he ordered more urgently, a frown slanting his features.

All of a sudden, moonlight fell in streaks through the blinds that were obscuring the window, and with a jolt of his heart, Seifer realized that Squall was crying. Trails of tears were making their way from his closed eyes down his cheeks, glistening in the milky moonlight until they got lost in his hair or the pillow.

"Squall…"

He held his breath for a moment, totally taken aback by the scene; he hadn't seen Squall shedding tears ever since their childhood days. In fact, the brunette had quit showing any kind of emotion whatsoever shortly after Ellone had left the orphanage. Yet, all the same, there he was, trapped in a nightmare and crying like a little boy.

Seifer shifted around in the bed, leaning over Squall's body and shaking it more harshly now.

"You've gotta wake up! Squall!"

He almost rocked back when storm blue eyes suddenly snapped open and gazed at him wide in shock and wet from tears. They stared at each other, Seifer holding his breath and Squall's shoulders at the same time.

Finally, the blonde dared to relax.

"Hey…"

Squall was pushing air through clenched teeth, staring up wide-eyed at the man hovering above him. The blonde tried to muster something like a smile.

"Are you alright?"

When he received no response or reaction, realization struck Seifer at last. The boy beneath him wasn't really looking at him. His gaze was as blank as his bedsheets, eyes large but not seeing anything at all.

"Squall? Shit, Squall, wake up!"

Deepest concern started to overshadow his voice. Quickly, he took Squall's face in both hands and pressed his fingers into the nape of his neck harshly.

"Squall, come on, wake up! Don't... Squall...?"

"S…"

The blonde tilted his head immediately at the sound of Squall's croaky voice and he loosened his firm grip. After all, he didn't mean to hurt Squall, but something told him that it was vital to tear the brunette out of his nightmare. Apparently, he was succeeding, and a relieved smile spread across his tense features.

"Squall."

"Sor… ceress… knight…"

The smile faded from Seifer's golden features like the light of a candle that had been blown out, and his skin paled a shade or two in the cold moonlight.

"What did you say…?" he asked, voice trembling.

Squall's void eyes were still fixed upon the blonde creepily, his lips moving in endlessly slow rhythm.

"Lion… knight… here… I told…"

"Squall... you're dreaming, you-"

"It… talks… to me…"

"... What is talking to you?"

"Lion… lion…"

"Lion?"

"Blood… obsidian… white... hands..."

_Blood._

Seifer drew a sharp breath and decided that it was enough. Whatever Squall was dreaming about, it wasn't good for him. In one fluid motion, he brought his left leg up on the bed and pulled the brunette's lithe body across it to crush it against his own chest. He edged Squall's face away from himself, holding him by the shoulders and looking at the younger one full of panic and resolution.

"You. Have. To. Wake. Up.!"

He put caustic emphasis on every single word, urging them into the brunette's foggy conscience with fierce determination. He was even considering to slap the smaller boy if that was what it took to return him to reality.

That, however, proved to be unnecessary.

Squall's blue eyes finally seemed to glaze over, before life slowly seeped back into them. For a moment, he merely stared into the apprehensive green that was Seifer's eyes, then, without a warning, he started to thrash around in Seifer's arms, screaming and trying to lash out at whatever was in his way.

Somehow, subconsciously, Seifer had anticipated an aggressive fit like that to uncoil sooner or later, so his muscles were prepared. He snaked one long arm around Squall's delicate upper body immediately, managing to pin both of his arms firmly to his side and pulling him into a securing embrace. His other hand steadied Squall's head against his chest, making sure that the boy didn't slam it against Seifer's chin in his violent seizure. With his legs, he pressed Squall's into the covers to ensure that the brunette would hurt neither himself nor Seifer.

"Calm down, Squall! Calm down!"

Seifer thanked Hyne quietly for Squall's lack of energy reserves. No matter how frail the boy looked at first sight, there _were_ muscles hidden underneath his clothes, he just wasn't openly built like the blonde. His blows and kicks hurt nonetheless, skilfully backed up by years of fighting and steeling every fiber of his body.

"Squall! It's just me! Relax! Squall!"

Squall showed not the slightest sign of recognition. Fortunately, Seifer was not planning on giving in. He outweighed and outgrew the fighting brunette in his arms, and he made full use of his advantage. He counted on Squall's strength to give out eventually, and his hopes did not fail him.

After struggling for a good few minutes, Squall's body simply betrayed him and reminded him sharply of his healing injuries and his lack of power. Finally, he went slack in Seifer's arms and let himself droop against the propped up chest.

Both remained tense and motionless for a moment, before Seifer loosened his ironclad grip and freed Squall's arms as well as his legs. His hand, however, still lingered on the SeeD's harshly rising back, eventually moving up and down very gingerly in an attempt at a soothing gesture. He recalled the T-rex inflicted injuries and knew that their little struggle had probably been quite painful for the smaller boy.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you…" he breathed softly into the hair covering the head he was still gently pressing against his body. "But you had to wake up."

He could feel Squall's chest heaving heavily against his own, but very slowly, it smoothed into a much gentler rhythm. The brunette's tension faded away and he simply gave in to the comforting embrace.

Seifer couldn't suppress a sigh of relief. Squall's tantrum had shocked him no matter how much he had expected it. Even asleep, the SeeD commander could jump moods faster than the blonde could blink - lethargy would turn into aggression to finally die down to compliance. It had asked a lot of Seifer's strength to steady Squall through those stages.

His body had slumped against the frame of Squall's bed, and now that his focus was free to adjust to whatever it wanted, he started to feel uncomfortable. At the same time, he didn't want to draw Squall off him. The usually forlorn and cold hearted teenager was laying in his arms for once, something he had never seriously expected to happen. It felt oddly comfortable to have the smaller boy resting against him, with the heat of Squall's nightmare seeping through the ruffled layers of his loose white shirt.

_'He feels so good. Fuck... it doesn't matter, we can't stay like this.'_

He frowned at the thought, then ran his hand through Squall's slightly damp hair. He wanted to check on the boy's fever again, and slipped his fingers between Squall's forehead and his own chest. It felt warm, though nowhere near as hot as it had only minutes before. The brunette would be alright, and judging by the way his head was lolling against Seifer's broad chest, he had already gone back to sleep.

Reluctantly, Seifer made a half-hearted attempt at prying the boy out of his embrace, but much to his surprise, Squall nuzzled deeper into the warmth and comfort that Seifer's body had to offer.

_'Squall…'_

He stared down at the mess of mussed up chocolate brown hair shimmering faintly in the dying moonlight, eyes wide in disbelief. He was fascinated by the brown tresses washing against his tanned skin in harsh contrast, much like the difference of Squall's pale arms and hands folded against his naked torso.

Heart pounding into his throat, Seifer came to the decision that sleeping in the same bed with the young SeeD probably wouldn't do much harm to either one of them. It didn't make much sense anymore to deny to himself that he _did_ like Squall cuddled up close to him, so why break something that they both seemed to enjoy?

Carefully, Seifer slipped down into the bed from his odd seating position, all the while gently pulling Squall with him until they came to a halt in a close and comfortable manner. Squall's body was curled sideways against his own, his head resting in the crease of Seifer's shoulder and his left arm draped across the older man's stomach.

Ever so gently, Seifer used one arm to pull the covers over both of them, then wrapped the other around Squall's body in a protective, caring gesture.

He listened to the dark haired boy's quiet breathing, feeling the warm air from his mouth tingle across his bare chest. The feeling was so comforting and reassuring, so different from anything he had ever experienced before, that it made his heart ache. He craned his head around to marvel over Squall's still and peaceful features. That very sight and feeling was something Seifer had secretly desired for much longer than he could remember, and he couldn't savor the moment enough.

_'I… really…'_

He bit his lip, afraid of his true feelings for the brunette. He knew what he felt, and deep inside he had known all along, but suddenly being so close to the object of his longings flared the fear of losing him. For a moment, he had to fight down the tears that welled up in his dancing emerald green eyes.

_'…love…'_

He clenched his eyelids shut and brought his lips to Squall's forehead in a gentle kiss, tasting the salt and feeling the warmth of his porcelain skin. When his tired head settled back into the pillow and sleep slowly stretched its fingers out for him at last, he realized that if he would have died that very moment, he would have died happy and free of regrets.

It was a comforting thought, somehow.

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To be continued!  
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Okay, that was the chapter I had already written, it needed some modifications, though. My... so much angst and fluff :) This is kind of a key chapter, so I hope it turned out okay. I suppose if we ever want to get anywhere (and I think we do) Seifer just has to be a little soft and fluffly


	24. Where You Are

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 24: Where You Are

He had slept well that night, deep dreamless slumber not once interrupted. Only every now and then had he subconsciously drawn the figure at his side deeper into his embrace, strong arms wrapped tightly around the lithe frame that was Squall's body.

Entirely content in his sleep, he turned onto his left side and didn't notice a pair of storm blue eyes fluttering open lazily and growing wide at the sight they were opposed with.

_'Seifer…?'_

It was late morning, and Squall's mind had awoken before his body had. His eyes stared blankly at the face only mere inches from his, and the skin that was so close that he could see the stubble on the chin. Then, as his muscles were kicked from the dream world, he felt the leg draped over his own and the arm that held him in a tight hug.

Needless to say, Squall's face flushed crimson at the realization of where he was, and with _whom_ he was.

For a minute or two, he simply gaped in horror and disbelief. How in Hyne's name had he ended up in one bed with _Seifer_, and what had happened after that? For all he was able to see, Seifer wasn't wearing any clothes, and he didn't dare to use his hand or knee to back that impression up by feeling for proof. He lowered his head as far as he could, his blue eyes screening his own body, or whatever wasn't covered by the blanket, anyway. With relief, he saw that he was still wearing his t-shirt, and he felt the fabric of his shorts between his legs.

Overall, that knowledge didn't offer much comfort, though. His face was still hot from the blush, and as much as he roamed every corner in his mind for the memory of what had happened during the night, he could not figure it out. Seifer was simply there, and as a matter of fact, he was all over him.

Suddenly, Squall started to feel very uneasy. He hadn't been that close to anyone in… ever. Him and Rinoa had slept in the same bed a few times, but it had never quite felt like this. The scent of Seifer was everywhere, as was his body. The weight of his arm resting on Squall's side would have maybe felt nice, hadn't it been for the brunette feeling oddly cornered and invaded in his private space.

_'This is weird, why am I... why is he... I don't understand. And why is my pillow...'_

With much shock, he then realized that his head had actually been resting on Seifer's other arm instead of his pillow, warm skin pressed softly against his own cheek as he laid there, quietly.

Of course, he didn't stay that way much longer.

Without thinking first, Squall immediately pulled away, backing up against the wall behind him. The dozing man at his side acknowledged his rash movements with a muffled groan, but he didn't wake up. Squall closed his eyes and let out a small gasp of relief, before he slowly struggled to sit up in the bed.

_'I don't care what happened, I've gotta get out of here.'_

Carefully, his face slanted wryly at the shallow pain in his chest, he tried to rise into a squatting position, gingerly bringing one leg and one arm across the sleeping blonde. He had almost managed to move his other limbs over to the other side as well, when the body underneath him stirred and Squall jumped in terror. His left foot lost hold while his right got entangled in the blanket, and before he had a chance of grabbing on to anything, he was sent crashing face forward to the floor. To make matters worse, he even succeeded in kneeing himself in the stomach like the unquestionable professional that he was.

"Ouch!"

With a loud thud and an even louder groan, Squall collapsed to the ground, cursing himself for his clumsiness and stupidity.

Stirred by the loud noise, Seifer's body jolted upwards into a seating position before he had even come close to being fully awake. Blinking, his gaze shot left and right, before it slowly dawned to him that Squall was laying on the floor, somewhat curled together painfully and cussing like a sailor from Fisherman's Horizon.

"Wha… uh…"

He flicked tresses of askew blonde hair from his eyes and stared down upon the miserable boy languidly, before something inside him snapped. Smoothly, he flung himself out of bed and lowered himself into a squatting position.

"The_ hell_ are you doing down there? You okay?"

His hand touched Squall's shoulder, who turned to face him reluctantly. A slight blush still graced his high cheek bones, and humiliation was burning from grey blue depths. Squall nodded curtly, then made a vain attempt at struggling to his feet, but failed pathetically.

Seifer leaned forward, one knee now connecting with the grey marble tiles of Squall's living room. He grasped Squall's arm firmly, securing him into place so that he wouldn't try to stand on his own again.

Then their gazes met, and it was as if the moment had suddenly frozen in time. Green and blue just burned into each other, unable to speak, unable to move. Squall marveled over the sunlight reflecting in Seifer's eyes and his wheat blonde hair, while Seifer couldn't keep his inquisitive stare off Squall's softly glistening pair of lips and the many different hues of blue and grey that rushed through his wide eyes. For the length of a heartbeat, he felt the desperate need of leaning forward to close the space between their faces surge through him with the force of a tidal wave. Before he could follow his feelings though, the young man facing him suddenly turned his head and broke their eye contact.

"Nothing," Squall breathed, his voice sounding choppy. "I'm fine."

Seifer stared at him almost pleadingly, trying to hold on to the tender moment by any means, but it had passed, and his thumping heart settled back in his chest with disappointment.

Slowly, Squall scrambled upwards until he stood tall again, Seifer all the while mirroring his movements, ready to support the other man's body if needed. The brunette studied him silently, a flash of confusion passing over his features before he blushed again and shrugged Seifer's hand off. He opened his mouth, trying to ask what had happened during the night, then changed his mind and glued his lips together again quickly.

"What? What is it?"

The brunette shook his head, ignoring the questioning look in his opposite's face.

"Don't give me that, open your mouth for Hyne's sake!"

Again, Squall scowled but said nothing. He lowered his gaze, suddenly taking in the fact that Seifer was wearing a pair of shorts after all. Squall's blush deepened when he mused that Seifer was probably the guy with the best looking body he had ever seen. Many would say that the brunette, though much more slender, had a rather fine built himself, but compared to his brawny rival, Squall felt extremely insecure and self-conscious - he always had.

"Damn, if I wouldn't know any better I'd say you suffer from fucking lockjaw, Leonhart."

Frustrated at himself as well as the shorter boy, Seifer pushed past Squall and vanished into the kitchen. It took him a minute to work off his tension by pointlessly shifting dishes around and chugging a glass of water, before he returned to the living room, finding Squall rooted to the same exact spot and looking back at him blankly. The way he was standing there, a much too large shirt dangling from his shoulders and his eyes all pure and light, Seifer felt like he was looking at a puppy who had just been snatched from the jaws of death, rather than a grumpy eighteen year old gunblader who was the respective commander of Balamb Garden.

Sighing, the blonde leaned backwards against the nearest wall, fixing Squall out of attentive pools of liquid emerald.

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

Dark brown brows lowered, and the younger blader placed most of his weight onto one foot before shaking his head contritely.

"Figures," Seifer sneered, then grew serious again. "You had a nightmare or something, I guess, 'cause you were mumbling all sorts of weird things. I woke you up and you almost crushed my skull for it, thanks a lot by the way."

Squall's narrow nose curled, but he remained silent.

"Then you glomped me like a little school girl and wouldn't let me out of your bed again, so I ended up spending the night there. You were all over me, I swear, I didn't know you had it in you, Leonhart."

He chuckled at the lethal expression that darkened Squall's face. So yeah, he was exaggerating and stretching the truth a little, but that frown made it all worth his while.

"Bastard," Squall hissed coldly, finally leaving his chosen spot of tarrying to gather some of his clothes out of a closet and slam the door shut behind himself as he entered the bathroom.

"Tsk. No sense of humor whatsoever."

Seifer returned to the kitchen and begun to prepare a rather extensive breakfast. He placed fruit salad, pancakes, cereal, juice and coffee on the dining table, right along with a fresh set of dishes.

Just in time, the bathroom door flung open again, emitting Squall Leonhart sporting a head of messy wet brown hair, typical black and white wardrobe, a pair of leather gloves and his favorite frown.

"Breakfast is served, your highness," Seifer announced with a mock bow.

"Will you cut that shit out?"

"What do you mean, your royal glacierness?"

If looks were capable of ending a human life, Seifer Almasy would have died a hundred deaths on the spot. Unfortunately for Squall, his well placed death glares resulted in nothing but a laughing blonde twenty year old gunblader who was oozing with impertinence.

"Leonhart, you wouldn't know humor if it smacked you right up that pretty face of yours."

"Don't talk to me like I am a fucking girl."

"Touchy, aren't we just?"

"Fuck you, Seifer."

"Maybe later, frisky kitty. You want some breakfast?"

Squall buried his hands in his pockets and shook his head just to be intractable. Seifer realized that he wasn't going to get anywhere with his momentary route, so he decided to try something else.

Instead of making the brunette eat, he'd just leave him the hell alone.

"Do whatever you want, I'm going to take a shower."

He trudged by the irritated SeeD, though not without seizing the chance to swat him over the head once more. For a moment, he also caught a whiff of Squall's after shave or soap, a faint smell of sea and sand. It was a rather intoxicating scent.

_'Mmh.'_

"Quit doing that," Squall snapped.

"Don't tell me you're afraid I'm gonna ruin your hairdo, Leonhart. 'Cause frankly, you don't have one."

"Go drown yourself in the tub, Almasy," the other hissed darkly, his dry sense of humor flashing up just momentarily.

Seifer paid him an amused chuckle before he disappeared into the bathroom. The mirrors and walls were still steamed over, which mildly surprised him because he had expected Squall to prefer ice cold showers over anything else. Then again, the previous night had proved that "his glacierness" wasn't all that averse to warmth and comfort.

Taking care of his morning toilet ritual, Seifer wondered if Squall really didn't remember anything. His dream had to have been rather vivid, and aside from that they had quarreled for quite a while, too. Maybe his mind had just pushed the memory away because it hurt, which was something that Seifer had seen the brunette do quite frequently. He liked to lock up all of his emotions, which was the only reason why he was able to maintain such a perfect impersonification of pure frigidness.

_'Hmph. Considering that he was crying, that sure was some emotion right there. Too bad he probably just tossed it to his pile of other emotional debris.'_

He flushed, stripped and stepped into the shower. Squall's bathroom was quite big, actually, since he had a large bathtub as well as a separate shower. Why exactly the brunette had a tub was beyond him, since even with all the imagination he could muster, he couldn't possibly picture Squall Leonhart having a bubble bath.

Once the water was running, he shut out all of his thoughts concerning the ice princess and simply enjoyed the heat and the smell of Squall's ocean scented soap. Hot showers were something that Seifer thoroughly savored, and he liked to take his time.

Finallt, over thirty minutes later, he had dried his hair, shaved, and walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel slung around his waist. He was of course trying to aggravate and embarrass his roommate, but to his surprise and disappointment, he found the rest of the apartment quite deserted.

_'At least the ice princess ate something.'_

Indeed, one of the plates had been removed from the table, and the stack of pancakes had shrunk noticeably. Seifer would have much preferred to have them warm and in the company of a certain dark haired gunblader, but he knew what he had bargained for. If he wanted to coax the brunette into eating, he'd have to make some sacrifices.

_'He was right. I **am** turning into a mother hen.'_

Shuddering at himself in disgust, he decided that no matter how much he did care for the stubborn brat, he was not going to baby him any longer. Squall was eighteen years old after all and had a mouth to match his own if he really gave it a try. He wasn't matron, anyway - it wasn't his job to play Squall's substitute mother.

All of Seifer's earnest resolutions were crushed to nothingness, though, when his heart jolted sharply as he noticed the open container that had formerly contained LionHeart.

"Formerly", because LionHeart was no longer there.

_'Fuck. Kadowaki is going to kill me.'_

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To be continued!  
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_-Dedicated to Tigger, Nala, Simba and Leia-_

_This is to your paws on my hands, your heads against mine and your purring that I'll always feel right next to my heart._

_I miss you._

_.  
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Hmm this is going to take more chapters than I originally thought… damn you for being sooo stubborn, Squall, I had to change some of the timeline of the story again… as it looks right now, this will be about 34-36 chapters long and bound to need a sequel if you guys want to see any real action. But we shall see, I usually change my mind during the process, anyway. I just can't seem to fit any bed-action anywhere, not before Squall confesses his feelings, anyway, and that's gonna be the big bang… accckkkkk okay I am telling too much, someone shut me up.

By the way, with English not being my native language and all I really have problems with things like "yours/your's" etc and spell checker isn't helping me any -- I try to be as accurate as possible, but errhhh you see how it goes -- so if I made any mistakes I am really sorry, and I'd be happy if you'd point them out to me since I don't have a beta reader to go through this.

Why is it that my kittens always lay on my arms when I try to comment on reviews? Is this an omen o.0 ACK! Either way, it doesn't help lol Anyway, on with it even though my arms start to hurt

(Author's Note: Reading this now, over a year later, makes me incredibly sad. My kittens were the sweetest things ever, I love them so much. They got shot by some bastard of a hunter. I'd give anything to have them laying on my arms again like they used to. Tigger, Nala, Simba and Leia - I hope you have lots of mice to chase and games to play in kitty heaven. I'll miss you until I get to see you again.)


	25. Standing By

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**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 25: Standing By  
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Cursing incoherently, Seifer had wolfed down a few dry pancakes and exchanged his towel for black pants and a sleeveless dark blue shirt (that just so happened to show off his arms rather nicely). Usually, the blonde was someone who cared quite a bit about his appearance, but this particular time he had more important things on his mind. He knew that whatever Squall was doing with his sword, it was bound to get both of them in trouble.

Still mumbling under his breath, he shoved the apartment key card into his pocket and took off towards the first place that came to his mind: the training grounds.

_'Though he'd have to be pretty dim to train there during class time.'_

Indeed, in the entrance portion of the training center he ran right into a group of students that were obviously under the care of Quistis Trepe, who was holding one of her excessively long speeches that Seifer knew only too well and wasn't the least bit interested in hearing again. Fortunately for him, Quistis cut off as soon as she saw his blonde head tower above the crowd of students, who all turned to him whispering in sudden turmoil.

"Now, now, quiet down," she cried over their heads, then pushed through them to address Seifer directly.

"Instructor," he drawled ironically, studying her out of hypnotic green eyes.

"Seifer, what are you doing here? For your information, I'm trying to hold a class!"

"No need to break out the sweetheart now, Trepe. I'm just looking for Leonhart."

"Squall?"

One brow rising to a perfect arch, she pushed her glasses back on her nose, placed her hands on her hips and gave him a dangerous glare.

"What happened?"

"Good grief, nothing happened, alright? I am just wondering where he is. He ran off after breakfast without saying a word."

"Well, he wasn't here, I would've noticed. We've been standing in this hall for almost an hour."

Seifer glanced at the group of students in what almost seemed like pity before he felt her finger poke him in the shoulder, her face serious as usual.

"Are you _sure_ nothing happened?"

"If you're that worried about his grumpy ass, why didn't you have your dear boyfriend Zell room with him?"

She stared at him dumbfounded for a second, at loss for a response.

"Can't trust him around perky brunettes, can ya?"

"S-Seifer! Shut up!"

"Ah, either way, I really don't give a damn. I'm off. Enjoy yourself, instructor."

He ignored her angrily flushing face, not bothering to wait for an answer, and jogged back out of the training center to the main hall. His steps slowed momentarily, mind in deep thought over where else Squall Leonhart could possibly be. Quite a bit of time had passed since his regular school days, and even back then he would have had trouble trying to locate the secretive brunette. Seifer Almasy wasn't exactly the kind of guy to go looking for other students, or anything, for that matter.

Suddenly, he _did_ recall a place that Squall had frequently visited upon their first arrival at Garden. It was a secluded little area out in the green yard, right by an orchard that the herbs-and-plants class had planted. Nobody in their right mind ever really went there, because it was quite off the beaten tracks by the fences that separated Balamb Garden from the plains.

It could hardly get any more perfect for a loner such as Squall.

_'Might as well give it a shot.'_

Shrugging, he trudged down the main hallway that lead to the entrance of Garden and split somewhere along the way. One of the many paths lead down to the yards that surrounded all of the facility, as well as that one particular place which Seifer was looking for.

He had to admit that he enjoyed the warmth of the sun, the fresh breeze and the scent of flowers and grass in the air. The sky was blue and cloudless, and there were butterflies and birds hopping from shroud to shroud. The peaceful landscape reminded him of his travels across Esthar and Galbadia with Raijin and Fujin.

He missed them, somehow.

Seifer left the paved grounds that were scattered with picknick tables and decorative statues to proceed down a gently sloping hill that lead to the orchards. His boots treaded the long grass, and soon he saw footprints that trailed off into the same direction. Quite pleased with himself, he circled a few apple trees until he could make out a clearing in short distance.

Feeling both glad and angry, Seifer saw the object of his search move about gently in the grass, blade held high in an elegant arch. Apparently, Squall was deeply entangled into some training ritual. It was oddly fascinating to watch him slicing the air and twirling around his own axis with the grace of a cat and an expression of cold blooded indifference. Brown wisps of hair were whipping into his face and eyes, but Seifer knew that Squall needed his sight as little as the blonde himself did. Squall's movements, as much as his own, were born from instinct rather than visual feedback, which could easily be deceiving.

Lost in his thoughts, Seifer leaned against the trunk of a tall tree, arms folded in front of his chest and his gaze glued to the exercising brunette. He truly enjoyed watching the sunlight reflect in Squall's dark hair as he dodged imaginary blows and dealt to a just as imaginary foe. He looked almost surreal. Suddenly, Seifer recalled many of their training sessions in which Squall's eyes had burnt into his, oblivious to the effect his ethereal beauty had on the older blonde.

Seifer frowned.

_'He doesn't have the slightest fucking clue how hot he is.'_

He had noticed that little detail about his rival plenty of times. Girls and guys alike would drool over the mere sight of Squall Leonhart, but Seifer guessed that the brunette didn't have the roughest idea of what the word "sexual attraction" even meant.

He had been drawn to the younger one for quite a while, he had to admit, but a year ago the idea of approaching Squall in any way other than rivalry would have asked too much of his patience. Now, things weren't necessarily the same anymore. They were both older, their feelings and personalities more clear cut.

The fact that he would have gladly risked his life for the brunette told him truth enough, anyway.

Images of Squall crying tears of fear and terror flashed before Seifer's inner eye, and his naturally lucid face darkened without his own doing. Squall's torment had hurt him that night, and it still was hurting him as he was leaning there against the faintly smelling treebark. Squall always gave the impression that everything just bounced off his ice barriers without leaving so much as a scratch, but he was just fooling everyone else as well as himself.

_'Making him admit to that is a whole different story, though.'_

He had just breathed a deep sigh when he registered Squall freezing in his movements and turning his head with a sharp flick of his muscles. Storm blue narrowed immediately in sullenness.

"Seifer."

He paid him a smirk.

"Leonhart."

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Don't worry, I didn't see you beat off behind that bush."

"In your dreams, Almasy."

Seifer's eyes glinted raptorially at the remark.

_'Oh... you don't even know.'_

Squall reluctantly stepped closer, the sword hanging loosely from his right hand. Once again, Seifer could see the mysterious blade undergoing a change; lightest cyan blue flickered darker the nearer Squall came to his rival. When they stood mere feet apart, it was glowing in dim indigo.

"I swear, Leonhart, your sword isn't normal."

The smaller brunette glimpsed at his sword in confusion, brows immediately slanting at the sight. Seifer watched his face closely, but his expression was as arcane as ever.

"It's nothing."

"Tsk. A weird guy needs a weird sword, I guess."

Squall raised his head again, his eyes cutting into Seifer's, but he chose to ignore the blunt insult. He couldn't fight off the feeling that he was slowly getting used to Seifer's presence and his constant challenges again, and he found himself wondering how he had ever lived life without them.

_'Do I wish myself back to that time?' _

He paused for a moment, his eyes going blank as he drowned in his thoughts.

_'I don't think I do. This is strange, but it's easier to bear than the months before he showed up here. I… do remember a time when I missed him. Odd. Just what was I thinking?'_

When his gaze slowly phased back into focus, he almost jumped in shock at the face that had lowered to being mere inches from his own, green eyes studying him with unconcealed interest.

"Don't do that," he hissed, voice dripping with venom as he inched away, "You creep."

"You're one to talk."

"Whatever."

Seifer drew back, chuckling. When he crossed his arms in front of his chest again, he noticed Squall glancing at the bandage still slung around his right forearm.

_'Look at that... Is that concern I see there?'_

Seifer wouldn't have been Seifer if he hadn't taken advantage of the situation. Thus, he let out a small noise of feigned pain when his arms met, and sure enough, he saw Squall flinching slightly in response. The brunette's eyes shot upwards to meet Seifer's face, who had to try hard to suppress a grin.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Squall bit his lip, struggling with his own pride and the Shiva-like reputation he was still defending after all.

"Nothing," he finally answered with deliberate nonchalance and typical monotone.

Slightly disappointed but not really surprised, Seifer nodded and leaned against the apple tree again. Squall seemed slightly confused by that gesture, as his lips curled to a disapproving frown and he squinted his eyes to sapphire slits.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Watching you."

"Why?"

"Knowing your klutzy self you probably won't make it back to our room safely without kissing the concrete somewhere. I figured I'd better be there to scoop you up so dear Doc Kadowaki won't process me to hamburger meat."

"I don't need you to babysit me," Squall bit back harshly.

"I think you do. That aside, this place is starting to bore me."

"Then _leave!_"

"Can't."

"Why?"

"Who would watch over your clumsy ass?"

"Someone with an IQ above room temperature for a change," Squall snapped in astounding sarcasm before he whisked around brusquely to resume his training ritual.

Of course, both of them knew that Seifer wasn't free to go wherever he pleased. Squall wasn't familiar with all the details, but he could figure out enough on his own to rest assured that Seifer wasn't watching over him out of his own free will.

In some implacable way, that thought irritated him.

Seifer slumped down by the foot of the tree, coming to a halt when his butt hit the soft grass. Somehow, the sun and the warm air were making him rather drowsy, and the struggles of the night were paying their toll on him at last. Though he was fighting it, he couldn't help but slowly drift off into a light slumber.

Squall ignored the dozing Seifer for most of the following two hours that he spent attending to his fighting skills, which had suffered during his week of forced absence from training. He knew he had to go easy though, because Kadowaki had a keen eye and would notice if he totally overworked himself.

That said, he suddenly remembered his appointment with the Garden physician. It was probably early in the afternoon, and he figured that it was best to drop by her office before she would go into conniptions. Angering Doc Kadowaki was not a good idea at the best of times, and he shuddered just_ thinking_ about her paralysis potions and whatever other evil things she'd be able to shake out of her sleeves.

Thus, he made his way out of the orchard clearing, though he couldn't help but stop by his still sound asleep roommate. He stood calmly for a moment, his eyes flying across every inch of Seifer's body. The blonde looked surprisingly peaceful how he was laying there, with his mouth half open and some wisps of gold blonde hair dancing in the wind lazily.

All of a sudden, Squall remembered that day's morning - his own head dangerously close to that gently rising chest and those softly moving lips. Immediately, his skin tinted crimson around the cheeks and he cursed his body for betraying him like that.

Not even a hundred percent sure why, Squall suddenly drew back his leg and brought it forward in a smooth kick into Seifer Almasy's side. The motion wasn't sharp enough to cause serious pain, yet contained enough force to ensure that the blonde would awake.

Indeed, Seifer grunted lazily and peeled eyelids open over radiant green. Still not quite awake, he stared straight ahead for a second, then looked up into Squall's expressionless face.

"The hell, Leonhart? Did you just _kick_ me?"

"I'm going back."

"... Oh."

Yawning, Seifer scrambled to his feet and stretched languidly. Squall watched him neutrally for a moment, before he simply turned around and started to ascend the hill.

"Oi! Fuck, wait up already!"

Swearing, Seifer fell into a quick jog to catch up with his stubborn protege.

_'At least he woke me up, I suppose. I wouldn't put it past him to just leave me here to rot to bite bug fodder.'_

They walked back to Garden in silence, Squall having connected his dark blue sword to his belt and Seifer just yawning at his side, when they were called to attention by a familiar voice.

"Squall! Seifer! Hold up!"

They flung around to watch director Cid descend the staircase from the main hall's elevator. His old face was wrinkled to a smile, hands locked behind his back in typical Cid-fashion.

"How are you, boys?"

They exchanged reluctant glances, then nodded quietly.

"Good, good. Are your wounds feeling any better, Squall?"

"Hn."

"I'm glad to hear that, son. Listen, I need to talk to you boys about tomorrow night. We're going to have some important guests, so to say."

Squall's eyebrows scrunched together at the news. "Important guests" weren't anything he really felt up to dealing with.

"Who?" he asked, his voice tainted with mistrust.

Cid's smile widened even further.

"Your father, Laguna. I believe he's bringing some friends as well."

Extremely interested in getting to see Squall's reaction, Seifer turned his head eagerly and lowered his gaze, but he was utterly disappointed. Squall's face was as blank as ever.

"Why is he coming?"

"Why, to see you, of course! It has been a while since his last visit, hasn't it? He said he isn't exceptionally busy right now, so he wants to come and stay for a while."

The concept of facing his father in his momentary condition didn't appeal to Squall the least bit. For Rinoa's sake, he had tried to communicate and "get along" for a few months, but frankly, having a father was still too new and strange to him, particularly one that was so different from himself. Laguna Loire was so free-spirited and lighthearted that it struck him as plain insane. Rinoa, on the other hand, had always raved over the older man, trying to convince Squall that he should feel blessed for having such a wonderful father.

Quickly crushing the memory of Rinoa, he blinked up at Cid and nodded reluctantly.

"How long is he staying?"

"For a couple of days, I suppose. Quistis, Edea and I have planned a big dinner in the ballroom, just for the small circle of companions, of course. Nothing overly dramatic."

Cid winked, and Squall felt like vomitting on his boots. A "big dinner in the ballroom" was about as close to a living nightmare as they come. Then again, he really wasn't fooling himself into believing that he had any noteworthy say in the whole situation. Apparently, everything had already been decided.

"Hn."

"I expect to see the two of you in the ballroom by 19:00 tomorrow then, unless of course Laguna wants to pay you a visit first, which I am sure that he will."

"Hn."

Luckily enough, Cid was quite talented at reading into Squall's preferred method of talking in grunts and monosyllables. He would have favored fully fledged answers, of course, but when it concerned Squall, a "hn" was as much as one could expect.

"Very well. I'll see you boys tomorrow night then. I hope you'll feel better, Squall."

Smiling good heartedly, he trudged off into the direction of the elevator to return to his office. Meanwhile, Squall was looking rather ominous, eyes fathomless and distant. Seifer waited somewhat patiently for the brunette's grumpy fit to subside, but he was quickly getting sick of standing in the middle of the hallway for everyone to gape at.

"Knock knock, anyone awake in there?" he growled, nudging Squall so hard in the waist that it almost sent the boy reeling to the side.

The dark haired SeeD commander amortized his blonde opposite with a rather well placed death glare before continuing on to their room in stubborn silence. As much as he tried, the thought of his father coming all the way from Esthar for a visit just wouldn't ease into his mind.

At his side, LionHeart was glowing as eerily as ever.

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To be continued!  
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Oh my, I am going to be soooo hated for this one. More gunblade confusion, I know, I'm sorry. Worry not, it will all be solved in the… uhm… end :D

Since I am too tired to comment on all reviews personally (I am such a lazy bum), I just wanna say I was sooo amazed at all those really long reviews, I was like wow! It gives me a kick every time to realize that people are actually reading what I'm writing. It's so… surreal :) Right now I really have the urge to read more myself, though, so expect to see me snooping through your stories...


	26. So Close, Yet So Far

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**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 26: So Close, Yet So Far  
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Finally having returned to their room, Squall trudged to his bed and stowed LionHeart away in its respective container, all the while feeling Seifer's eyes burning into his back. Just why exactly that guy loved to stare at him so much was beyond him. It wasn't like he had grown a second nose during the months of the blonde's absence.

"So, your old man is coming, huh?" the baritone voice sliced through the comfortable silence.

He sighed.

"As you heard."

"So, do you, like, get along, or what?"

Without fully turning around, he nailed Seifer to the spot with a grudging gaze from over his shoulder.

"None of your business."

"Whoo-hoo! Hey, are those icicles I see dangling from your ass there, ice princess?"

Seifer earnestly did try to restrain his sarcasm around his object of desire, but Squall's chill definitely wasn't making things any easier. No matter how damn nice he struggled to be, Squall always found a reason to flip him off. Thus, it was really no surprise that he couldn't control his loud mouth. He did regret many of his insults after they had rolled off his tongue, but by then, it was usually too late.

"Whatever."

Squall progressed towards the bathroom, a heap of clothes in his arms that he had retrieved from his closet. His blonde roommate rolled his eyes.

"Are you taking a shower _again_?"

"Unlike some of us, I don't have a thing for body odor," Squall bit without facing him, "And I have to go see Kadowaki."

Seifer was already elated over the fact that he had gotten an explanation at all, so he didn't mind Squall slamming the door shut behind him once more. He was quite impressed by the brunette's hidden temper; though dark and cold most of the time, Squall had spirit.

Glancing at their clock, he realized that it was barely 15:00h. He wasn't feeling tired anymore after his long nap, so he decided to pay the cafeteria a visit. Dishes were still piling high in the sink, and he wasn't in the mood for housework. In fact, his nose curled in disgust at the mere thought of it.

"Hey, puberty boy, I'm goin' to the cafeteria," he yelled in the general direction of the bathroom door.

Not that he really needed to sign in and out with the brunette, but he figured it was better than leaving without a word of explanation. When he received something that sounded vaguely like a "whatever", he knew that he was good to go. Snatching his key card, he left the apartment slow-paced, determined to have an interesting afternoon even without Squall's cheerful company.

About eight hot dogs, three fist fights and over four boring hours later, he found himself wanting to be back in their apartment. He had gotten fed up with strolling around Garden for the mere purpose of killing time. His little fights against belligerent SeeD cadets that had mistaken themselves for combat prodigies had been nothing short of lame, and a person could only eat so many hot dogs before they felt like vomiting all over the cafeteria floor.

With that settled, Seifer decided it was time to go back.

Dusk was already glowing dimly through crystalline windows as he strode through the dormitory hallways. With a casual flick of his key card, he opened the door to their apartment and entered, immediately glancing around for a sign of his perma-grumpy roommate. Disappointment settled in his chest quickly though, when he realized that Squall was nowhere to be seen.

Sighing, he toed off his boots and trudged into the kitchen for a glass of water. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see the huge pile of plates, boards, cups and pots that was brooding with malice. He lowered his glass and shook his head gently from side to side.

_'Fuck. Might as well.'_

After the first basic struggles of finding a sponge, soap and towels and figuring out how to wrench his large hands into Squall's tiny glasses to clean them properly, Seifer was quickly getting the hang of it. He passed another thirty minutes cleaning, drying and putting dishes back into their spot before boredom caught up with him once more.

'Man, what is it with me, can't I pass a few hours without dear lil Squally-poo anymore or what?'

Fairly disgruntled he went back into the living room and lowered himself onto the couch, his gaze blankly splicing with Squall's TV and videodisc player. He perched down before the movie rack, then settled cross-legged into the granite colored carpet covering the small piece of floor between couch and entertainment center.

_'Entertainment center…'_

Seifer felt like neighing with laughter at the idea of Squall allowing himself to splurge in something as plain and fundamental as "entertainment."

_'Not like he **could** with these masterpieces, anyway.' _

One of the various boxes did catch his interest, though. A rather cheap and cheezy looking cover was graced with the image of a humongous Ruby Dragon, which was (of course) held at bay by a knight in shining silver armor.

In earlier days, a much younger Seifer had been addicted to any movie whatsoever that evolved around valiant knights saving beautiful maidens from any hazard imaginable. Some years and sexual experiences later, though, he had come to realize that saving a "maiden" wasn't all it was cracked up to be. This applied in particular when bearing in mind that his vision of a helpless princess had turned into that of a battle-scarred _prince_; one who would rather whack his own head square into a brick wall before succumbing to anything like help and salvation.

Nonetheless, the movie seemed intriguing.

Flipping the container over, he glanced at the front of it. The title was along the lines of "Honor and Passion in the Eye of the Beast – The Life of a Dragon Slayer", enough to make him gag by any means, but his focus was quickly caught by a close-up image of the protagonist. For a split second, he thought he was looking at the picture of a longhaired Squall Leonhart, before realizing that the man on the movie box was in fact Laguna Loire, Squall's father.

_'This ought to be interesting.'_

Pondering the question of why the president of Esthar would act in a sleazy movie, or _any_ movie, for that matter, he popped the disc into Squall's VD player. Ready to hit the remote power button, his attention was suddenly diverted by the electronic hiss of their apartment door.

Craning his head around, he saw a grouchy looking Squall trudging to the dining table where he placed his key and a black, fur lined vest. Why in Hyne's name the brunette was wearing any more than pants and a shirt was beyond Seifer's understanding. It was summer, after all.

"Yo, Leonhart," he drawled, carefully masking his excitement.

Squall didn't acknowledge him with as much as a glance or a grunt. Seifer knew the younger man well enough to pick up on his moods right away, and something had obviously upset the brunette. Not that it took much to upset him in the first place.

"The hell is wrong with you again, wife?"

"Why don't you just mind your own fucking business?"

"Tsk. Such a foul mouth. It doesn't suit a lady, ya know."

"Drop dead."

He relished in Squall's anger a little longer before calling himself to mind his original plan of being more patient and less of an aggressor. Hence, he settled for dropping the subject and dedicated his attention to the VD player once more.

Meanwhile, he could hear Squall pacing around the room and disappearing into the kitchen, where the boy's steps suddenly died to a halt. For about a minute or less, there was no sound except for Seifer's mumbled gush of cuss words at the remote control's complexity.

"... You did the dishes."

Impressively enough, Seifer acknowledged Squall muttering quietly in the distance, and his head shot up immediately, darting towards the kitchen.

"Say what?"

Squall emerged from behind the counters looking as if he had just given birth to a three-legged chocobo. The tall blonde still sitting on the floor had a hard time to keep from rolling around in laughter.

"You are too fucking cute. Look, I told you I'd do them."

The brunette remained rooted to the spot, white clad arms hanging loosely at his side in a sense of dumbfoundedness. He didn't even quite know why, but somehow it amazed him that Seifer had kept his word. He had gotten so accustomed to people breaking their promises over the years that this came as much of a surprise. Being a guy who always expected the worst to happen and never dared to let his heart hope for anything less cruel than that, he had never seriously figured that Seifer would hold to his word.

"Stop gaping and help me with your damn VD player."

Much to Seifer's liking, Squall actually cracked out of his stupor and came to kneel by his side, taking the remote from his hands rather roughly. Casually, the brunette thumbed a few buttons and the TV sprang to life, taking the VD right along with it.

"Sweet," Seifer smirked approvingly.

"What's in there, anyway?"

"This great piece of art."

Seifer waved the box in front of Squall's face, who snatched it out of his grasp with repetitive rudeness.

"Your old man is in it."

"… I guess."

"You guess? Did you ever watch it?"

"No."

"Eh? Why?"

"He just sent it to me a few months ago."

"A few _months_ ago?"

Seifer groaned loudly and hid his face behind his hand, then jabbed his finger at the couch commandingly.

"Sit down."

His opposite frowned at the order, eyes slitting and scar crumpling as his eyebrows converged. Seifer merely gave him a push towards the couch, almost sending him face forward onto the carpet.

"Sit down, we're watching this now."

"I don't _want_ to watch it."

"Do I look like I give a fuck? Sit down already."

While Squall still remained firmly in place, Seifer stood up and proceeded to close their blinds, plunging the room in deepest black except for the colorful flickering of the TV.

"This is more like it," he nodded in satisfaction.

Though it had seemed highly impossible at first, Squall's frown looked even more menacing in the quickly shifting hues of light cast by the VD's menu screen.

Even so, Seifer could tell that he had won this one. Squall had neither stormed out of the room nor hurled furniture at him, so his anger was probably still wading in bearable levels. The older blonde knew that he had to seize his chance, so he slumped down on the couch again, one leg propped up and certain to take up an extra great amount of space.

"C'mon," he waved invitingly, "You're in the way."

Looking rather glum, Squall mumbled something under his breath and pressed another button to start the movie. Very reluctantly, he complied with Seifer's invitation and moved towards the couch. He removed his boots and placed them neatly off to the side, then lowered himself into the cushions, sitting as far away from his rival as he possibly could without looking overly ridiculous.

The scene made Seifer chuckle, but a look at Squall's murderous expression told him that it was better to remain quiet and focus on the movie. Nevertheless, he did toss the brunette the occasional sideway glances. He was oddly amused by the way Squall's jaw tensed, his eyes glared straight ahead and his narrow nose was crinkling at the queer things his father was doing on TV.

Seifer had to admit that he could understand why Squall hadn't wanted to watch the movie. It was horrible. An utterly hyperactive Laguna Loire was bouncing around in cheap armor, furiously flailing his sword at a dragon that was about ten times his size. When Seifer saw Squall burying his face in his hand, he couldn't restrain himself anymore and broke into snorting fits of laughter.

"Oh my fucking god," he roared, "Hahahaha... That is priceless!"

The younger brunette was nailing his gaze almost pleadingly to the screen, as if all the death glares in the world would make his father's fighting performance any better.

They didn't.

"Was that the first time he ever held a sword?"

Squall's features contorted painfully.

"Do I really need to answer that?"

Seifer snorted again and almost reeled over in his seat, laughing so loud that even Squall couldn't help but press his lips together to keep himself from smiling. Immediately, Seifer's arm jerked forward and pointed frantically at the screen.

"Oh fuck he didn't just do that," he burst out, then slumped backwards into his seat, crying tears of laughter. "Fuck me, he did!"

Wide-eyed, Squall watched his roommate rolling around on the couch. The sight was so fascinating that he didn't even mind Seifer's body constantly nudging into his own. When he caught a glimpse of Laguna yelping and performing some pathetic "en gaurde" sword-stab against the Ruby Dragon, the brunette couldn't stifle his laughter any longer. He brought one hand rolled to a fist to his mouth in the attempt to smother any sound, but it didn't help.

Soon enough, he was chuckling so loud that even Seifer halted in his hysterics and looked up. The blonde was currently found lying on his back, legs dangling off one end of the couch and his head resting dangerously close to Squall's thigh. Gazing upwards, he was totally awestruck by the warm and lax expression on the younger boy's face, which was only surpassed by the sight of his lips drawing back over perfect white teeth in the most beautiful laugh Seifer had ever seen. He stared in wonder, and when Squall turned his head to face him, the churning in his stomach was impossible to ignore. Sea blue eyes sparkling blissfully behind soft tresses of brown hair and the still smiling lips had him under their spell, and the last thing he wanted to do was to fight against it.

Squall stared down upon the older gunblader, his insides still tickling beatifically. He noted the awe and allure in emerald green depths, the friendship and the…

His breath suddenly jarring in his throat, he froze. That emotion swaying in Seifer's eyes… he knew he had seen something similar before, a long time ago. His "sis" Ellone had always looked at him that way when he had still been a little boy and had showed her things he had found and gathered especially for her. It was…

_'No… he doesn't. He can't. He never would. Not me.' _

"You're beautiful."

His eyes snapped to wide orbs of ocean blue at the gentle voice and Seifer's hand slowly reaching for his face to run his knuckles all the way from his temple to his chin, a smile slowly stretching the blonde's intoxicatingly handsome features. Squall swallowed hard, feeling the warm skin softly caressing his. Seifer's sweet words were still lingering in the air, spilled from his eyes and from the touch of his hands.

Squall felt like he was drowning. He was held captive by the other man's gaze, unable to move, unable to speak. His breathing grew arduous and the room started to feel far too hot. Seifer's touch was doing strange things to his body and his soul; things he didn't understand and wasn't totally sure that he liked. There was so much heat radiated by the simplest of touches, and Squall had always been a man to fear heat. His world was grey, bland and icy; how could he have room for warmth, no matter how much he craved it at the same time as he despised it?

_..: "You will never change.":.. _

The memory of those words sliced through his mind, shattering everything, cruelly squashing any glimpse of hope he had clung to, if only for the length of a heartbeat. This was pointless. He wasn't meant to be loved. He wasn't meant to be cared for. Love and hope always ended in betrayal and loneliness. Always.

Seifer saw the change in Squall's face, the change he had feared, but it was too late for him to react. Squall's body jerked away from his touch, ice returning to the coldest pair of moonstone colored orbs that had shone with light and life only instants before. The brunette was on his feet before Seifer had even come close to realizing the turn of the tides.

"W-wait!"

His body snapped upwards and he pushed himself off the couch quickly, trying to grasp the other again before he was out of his reach. His arm froze halfway through the movement, though, when a voice dominated by chill cut through the air.

"Don't touch me."

Squall didn't turn around to face him, but the sharp edge in each of his words was threat enough. Seifer understood. Slowly, he retreated.

"Where are you going?" he dared to ask quietly.

"It's late. I'm going to bed."

Squall vanished inside the bathroom, closing the door with less force than usual but closing it all the same. He didn't care. He didn't _want_ to care. He just wanted to shut everything out.

Seifer stared at the sleek black paint of the object that kept them apart, hating himself for his own stupidity. He should have left Squall alone instead of trying to move in on him. Yet, for a just a second, he had been sure that Squall had reacted to his touch, that something inside him had melted. He was hoping that it hadn't been his imagination, but he wasn't all too sure anymore.

_'Fuck… why did I even try? I should have known better…' _

Closing his eyes, he tried to recapture the essence of that moment, to hold and dwell in it for just a little while, but it was in vain. All he saw burning before him was Squall's face the second it had changed to a cold, distant mask.

_'Why are you doing this…?' _

Semi-consciously, he went to turn off the TV and VD player, plunging the room into nothing but fathomless darkness. He stripped his clothes carelessly and slung them over the back of a chair. Sinking into bed, he felt his body melting into the sheets and his mind coiling restlessly.

Squall left the bathroom just mere minutes later, slipping underneath his covers and turning to face the wall. Neither of them was exactly angry with the other, but disappointment and emptiness filled both of their hearts until sleep mercifully ended their turmoil and eased their agitated souls.

_'…I'm sorry.'_

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To Be Continued!  
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My... 194 reviews, that is rather crazy! I can't believe it, thank you everyone! I think I'll fall off my chair if I make it to 200, geez!


	27. The Quiet Before The Storm

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**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 27: "The Quiet Before The Storm"  
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They had spent all of the evening and night curled up under their blankets in silence until sleep had taken them over, and when Seifer awoke the next morning to the mellow humming of birds outside their window, he found Squall's bed already made and deserted. 

Groaning and rubbing his stubble dusted chin, the blonde sat up, hesitantly roaming the room with his emerald green gaze. There were no sounds coming from the bathroom - the apartment was perfectly quiet. Before he could even help it, Seifer felt pangs of panic twisting his insides. It took him a minute to call himself to quiet down and ease his tension.

_ 'He's probably just out and about again. No reason to freak.' _

Clinging on to that thought, he got up to take a closer look at the living room and the kitchen. Squall's key card had disappeared from the dining table and his vest was smoothed over the back of a chair, but those were the only differences to the day before that Seifer noticed. It was well after 9:00h and the kitchen looked untouched.

In the bathroom, though, he was pleased to find Squall's towels damp, as were the tiles on the floor and the shower. The blonde pondered why he hadn't woken up to the sound of running water, but he blamed it on his lack of quality sleep throughout the past week. He had dozed off in his full attire or with his head heavy with troublesome thoughts just one too many times.

Sighing, he eased out of his shorts and slipped into the shower, enjoying the sensation of hot water running down his body in a prickling rush; it was working miracles at waking his still drowsy mind.

He spent the following half hour shaving, getting dressed and brushing his teeth; somehow he wasn't in the mood to prepare any food and decided to skip breakfast. Before leaving the apartment to track down his roommate and rival, he mused about taking his trench coat but came to the conclusion that it was slightly too warm. Balamb never got hot during the summer, but the air was usually mild and comfortable. A thin, long sleeved dark green shirt, which accentuated the color of his eyes even more, would do him just fine.

Shortly thereafter, he was found strolling through Garden's hallways once again, keeping his eyes peeled for Squall. His true destination was the orchard; he thought it safe to assume that Squall would be lingering there.

As he was walking, his thoughts returned to the memory of the previous night. He was devoid of any idea of what exactly had happened between him and his younger roommate, but apparently Squall had been rather freaked out by it. Not that his flight had come as any sort of surprise, but nonetheless, Seifer had hoped for a different reaction. It wasn't like he had _kissed_ Squall or anything like that.

_ 'Still, I guess I probably went too far.' _

Then again, who was to blame Seifer for what he had said or done? Squall had looked absolutely irresistible that evening, all smiles and sparkles and what not. Even straining his memories, Seifer couldn't recall a single time since their childhood days that he had seen Squall Leonhart laugh. Sure, there had been that fluttering smile on their parting day in Esthar, but that hadn't been any less rare of a sight.

_ 'You are an idiot, Almasy.' _

Seifer usually wasn't one to put himself down, but he absolutely despised himself for moving in on the brunette too quickly. He was very aware of his feelings, but expressing them properly was a totally different story. Not that he had any idea of what Squall would consider "proper" in the first place.

"The Lion of Balamb and the SeeD Slayer... well, ain't that a happy couple for ya," he snarled quietly to himself, resisting the urge to kick one of the trash bins lining his way.

He knew that deep inside his heart, he loved Squall - he had figured that much out on his own. Well, it had taken him long enough, anyway. Said discovery didn't help him the slightest bit to enlighten the question of what _Squall_ was feeling, though. During his last approach, the brunette had flipped, as he should have expected him to, leaving him hesitant of what to do next.

He was torn from his musings by the sudden sharp sound of someone drawing a tedious breath and calling out his name.

"Seifer."

His blonde head whisked to the right, meeting gazes with a pair of strident cobalt blue eyes behind sparkling crystalline glasses. Quistis was approaching him ever so slowly out of one of the many hallways that branched off the main hall. His attention rested on her frowning and discontent face for only a second, before it was rapidly caught by something long and silver in her hands.

Hyperion.

It didn't take him but a glimpse to recognize his own gunblade, which she held much like something very nasty and abhorrent. To add to his surprise, she stopped shortly before him and thrust out her hand, offering him the hilt of his sword.

"Here."

Her voice was cold, and he saw a glint of anger flickering in her eyes. There was something else, too, but he couldn't place the impression before she had already sighed in annoyance.

"Look, I don't have all day, okay? I have classes to teach. Take it!"

"... What's this all about?"

"Orders from Squall. He wants you to have your sword back, for whatever ridiculous reason."

Brows arching and eyes widening, he merely gaped at her and the sword she was still holding out to him. As much as he tried to grasp the meaning of this, he couldn't understand why Squall of all people would place orders to return Hyperion to him. Squall could be accused of being a lot of things, but he most certainly wasn't stupid. The brunette knew that Seifer was more or less _forced_ to stay at Garden, and the very tool they had pinned him down with was being handed to him right that very moment. Was Squall deliberately twisting him into bailing from Balamb by handing him the only thing that had kept him from doing so all along?

The _only_ thing...?

_ 'How very wrong you are.' _

Eyes darkening, he took the weapon from her, immediately recognizing and savoring its familiar feel and weight. Still, this had a bitter aftertaste, and he didn't like it one damn bit.

"Leonhart ordered this?" he asked coolly.

"As you heard," she replied, her voice equally frosty. "He told me this morning to return Hyperion to you. If I didn't, he threatened to turn in his resignation as commander and SeeD."

Seifer still stared in wonder at the blade in his hands, not minding Quistis' displeased and openly angry face too much. He was busy enough just _thinking_.

"Just so you know, this doesn't mean that you can just run off to wherever you please," she chided snidely. "You still have to fulfill your part of the agreement before you're free to go."

_ 'Just what exactly is he trying to achieve by doing this…?' _

"Seifer?"

He snapped out of his reveries, looking at her somewhat impatiently.

"What?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"What… yeah."

She definitely didn't look like she believed him, but he couldn't have cared less. This whole matter had come rather unexpected, and he was overcome by the urge to talk to Squall as quickly as possible.

"Where's Leonhart?"

"I don't know. He had his gunblade with him when I saw him earlier, though. I swear if Kadowaki finds out, then…"

"But she _won't _unless you squeal, Trepe."

He made sure to shadow his voice with a warning undertone, but she didn't seem very impressed. Tossing him a rather menacing glare with the same chill that Squall's eyes typically held, Quistis turned on her high heels and briskly walked away. Whatever Seifer was doing to their friend, she didn't like it, though she wasn't entirely sure that going so far as to bespeak Squall was a good idea either, even if it might have been for his own good.

After the other blonde had disappeared, Seifer quickly continued his way to the green yard, Hyperion clutched tightly in one hand. He almost fell into a sprint, only carefully restrained by his last bits of self-control. He was angry and delighted at the same time, still unsure which sensation was overpowering the other.

Squall was going through a similar training ritual that Seifer had already witnessed the day before. Clad all in form-hugging black clothes, he stood out harshly against the rich green of the grass and the faint specks of brown and red of the trees. Seifer noticed that his skin had gained a healthier shade of color as he slowly stepped closer and the brunette paused in his movements to acknowledge his presence.

"Leonhart," Seifer barked quickly before the other man's beauty had a chance to mess with his mind, "Why the hell did you order Trepe to give me my sword?"

The brunette stood motionless for a moment, eyeing Seifer with an expression that looked vaguely like confusion. Then he shrugged.

"Should be obvious," he declared, his voice blanched of emotion.

"It's not," Seifer bit back. "Tell me."

The brunette let out a small, annoyed sigh before he glanced at Seifer from the corner of his eyes.

"It's your sword, Seifer," he explained, as if talking to a child.

"That's not an answer, damn it!"

"Take it for whatever you want, then," Squall hissed and whipped around to resume his training.

Seifer stood dumbfounded for a minute, staring at the smaller boy who was deliberately ignoring him - again. And finally, it dawned him.

However angry and irritated Squall might have looked that very moment, there was something else, too; he almost appeared hurt and disappointed. His gaze was hard, too hard for even the ice prince himself, and there was a certain tension to his movements. No matter how desperately he was trying to hide it, Squall Leonhart had obviously been upset by Seifer's unusual reaction to his inexperienced attempt at a nice gesture.

_ 'You are such a fucking dumbass, Almasy." _

He wanted to smack himself up the head, but ultimately decided against it. Instead, he tapped his gunblade against his shoulder like in the old days, and a smile spread across his features.

"Thank you," he said gently.

Squall looked up from his routine briefly, his eyes immediately softening at his rival's thankful expression. He could feel the corners of his own mouth twitching, but managed to suppress a relieved grin. He had wordlessly apologized for his uncalled-for rudeness of the previous night, but that was all that he felt ready to give at that point.

Seifer, happy over the fact that Squall was obviously not holding a grudge against him, tried to repay the brunette's kindness by respecting his younger opposite's feelings and the space that he desired.

Thus, he backed off against the trees once more, sitting down to marvel at the shining reflective surface that was Hyperion's blade. Looking up at the sword in Squall's slender hands, he frowned at the unusual dark blue shade. Even with a Guardian Force trapped inside, it didn't make sense that it shifted hues as soon as Seifer and Squall were both close to it. He couldn't tell whether it was dangerous or not, but it surely was unusual.

Sighing, he tilted his head into his neck and gazed at the sky. It was blue, but overhung with smudge gray clouds. There would be rain, most likely. For some reason, he had always been good at reading the weather. It wouldn't have hurt him after all to bring his trench coat, he mused, but the shirt would probably suffice, too. It wasn't like he was planning on pitching a tent and camp out in the yard or something of that sort.

Seifer continued to cower in the grass, unobtrusively watching the SeeD's graceful movements. He truly enjoyed dwelling in the sight, content just sitting quietly without saying anything. Despite the fact that Squall had left the infirmary less than two days ago he seemed to be feeling much better. His training was fluid, bare of the occasional painful flinches that Seifer had still noticed the day before.

_ 'He sure heals quickly. His body does, anyway.' _

After about an hour or two of mere admiration, he felt his stomach growling loudly. Guessing that Squall probably hadn't eaten anything either, he suddenly got up.

"Hey, I'll be right back," he shouted at the other, "Stay here!"

The brunette seemed confused, but nodded vaguely as Seifer leaned Hyperion against a tree and made his way to the school cafeteria. Using the spare cash that he always carried around in the pockets of his pants, the blonde bought two large bottles of ice tea and as many sandwiches as he managed to fit into his arms.

Squall couldn't help but grin in amusement at an off-balance Seifer dearly trying not to drop about two dozen plastic wrapped sandwiches and the two bottles of ice tea he had steadied underneath his chin and beneath the fanned out fingers of one hand. The brunette allowed himself to enjoy the humorous sight for another moment before he calmly trudged to Seifer's assistance.

Thankfully, the blonde released the bottles into Squall's hands and dropped the sandwiches into the grass. The bottleneck he had stuck between his fingers had chafed the skin slightly, and he rubbed at it absent-mindedly before flopping down next to their unorganized picnic set up.

"Dig in," he exclaimed, smirk smacked down onto his face.

Squall eyed him hesitantly for a moment before leaning LionHeart against the same tree as Hyperion and sitting down across from Seifer's position, one leg tugged underneath his body, the other somewhat sprawled out.

"Thanks," he muttered, and shoved one of the bottles he had been holding into Seifer's hands without actually looking at him.

The blonde's smirk widened, but he said nothing and stuffed his mouth with a bite of ham sandwich instead. He had made sure to bring enough cheese and chicken salad ones to last Squall for the rest of the entire week. Squall noticed, too, and he felt rather grateful for the other man's thoughtfulness. Not only did his adversary know about that little vegetarian habit of his, he also managed to remember every single time that he provided their meals. Cocking his head back to take a large sip of tea, he tossed Seifer a quick glance, but the other was busy engulfing a rather large piece of bread that he promptly managed to choke on.

Sputtering and coughing, Seifer tried desperately to inhale, but he didn't manage to do so until he felt Squall's hand mercifully slapping his back, unsticking the piece of food that had caught in his throat. Slamming his fist against his chest, he looked up at the bent over figure whose storm blue eyes were fixed upon his face attentively.

"You okay?" Squall asked, his tone almost gentle.

"Yeah, thanks."

The other nodded slowly, then tore his gaze away and sank back into his spot. Seifer watched each of his movements, again and again amazed by the subtle and innate grace that Squall possessed. He didn't want to be caught staring again though, so he re-adjusted his focus to his sandwich once more.

They continued to eat in silence until both of them were more than satisfied, Squall obviously having finished a little earlier than Seifer had. The brunette skidded over to the tree that both of their gunblades were resting against and folded his back against the sweet smelling bark of the trunk.

"Hey," Seifer chuckled, "You fallin' asleep on me?"

Seifer grinned and let himself drop against the tree as well, ensuring that he wasn't jarring his younger roommate. He had definitely grown more cautious in that aspect.

Squall didn't answer but instead reclined his head against the rough tree comfortably, drawing his legs widely to his chest and folding his arms around his knees loosely. Then, he wordlessly closed his eyes.

To Seifer, that was answer enough.

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To be continued!  
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Sigh... okay I didn't have much fun writing this chapter, not much going on, but that is going to change here right about... now? You'll see.


	28. Away From Me

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** Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 28: Away From Me  
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In the steadily rising breeze licking across the Balamb plains, Squall had indeed fallen asleep. Seifer had watched over him for a little while, simply marveling at the peace and quiet that had taken the brunette over, before he himself had been enfolded by the same mellow slumber. Every now and then he would twitch, stirred by the occasional leaf caressing his features or a butterfly dancing by. Hours passed though, before Seifer finally found himself waking up again. 

The air had changed; it had grown slightly cooler and the trees were rustled by a stronger wind. Languidly gazing up at the sky, he noticed that the clouds had thickened and the former pure blue had mingled with an ominous grey. The expected rainstorm was probably going to unfold in the matter of a few hours.

Glancing over his left shoulder, Seifer smiled at the image of a softly snoozing Squall, who had reeled onto his side and was curled loosely in the high grass.

_ 'He's actually kinda cute when he's not trying to glare people to death.'_

His muscles were itching and aching from his unusual sleeping position, and he rose to stretch and flex thoroughly. The overcast sky made it difficult for him to estimate the hour, and neither him nor Squall had the habit of wearing wristwatches. Well, he knew that Squall did when he went on missions - the dutiful SeeD would never risk falling out of his time frame. Seifer however carried a dislike for being pressed into conformations and minute schedules.

_ 'Maybe that's why I failed the SeeD exam so often.' _

He chuckled. No, there were definitely other reasons for his habit of flunking that particular exam as well as many others. Being one who never followed orders very attentively probably had more to do with it. Not that it made a difference; he was no longer a cadet nor a student.

Oh well.

Circling the great trunk, Seifer lowered himself into a squatting position before Squall's sleeping figure. He liked the way that the other's dark brown hair was flowing in the wind, gently washing against perfectly still, ivory features. For a moment, he considered waking the brunette from his obviously untroubled slumber, but he decided against it. Squall probably needed a good rest even more than he did.

Instead, the blonde pried his gunblade from the tree and moved a little further outwards into the orchard's clearing. Enjoying the blade's familiar weight pulling on his arms, he swivelled it around in gentle archs, trying to recapture his feeling and natural understanding for the weapon he had owned for a good period of eleven years already.

Both Seifer and Squall had started out as gunbladers upon their arrival at Garden, and it had only seemed natural that the younger had picked LionHeart, which was lighter and smaller than the Hyperion series. It fit the fighting style of Squall, who had always been more of a "jumper and dodger" rather than a "thrasher and burner" like his blonde arch rival.

Then again, the blonde mused, little Squally had probably just been fascinated by the lion emblem carved into the sword's case when an instructor had taken both of them shopping for a weapon. He could remember seven year old Squall pressing his nose against the window of a Balamb shop display only too well, his childish blue eyes fixed on the blade that was about twice his size. Back then, nine year old Seifer had really only opted for a gunblade because Squall had wanted one, too.

Eleven years later, that memory almost amused him.

They had gone from being children who constantly picked on each other to rivals that never ceased at trying to surpass the other. So much fierce determination and tension, he really couldn't even say anymore how it had all started out.

Jealousy, perhaps.

He had always envied Squall, as well as he had envied anyone Squall had ever paid attention to. Mainly, that had been Ellone, and Seifer had hated her with as much grudge as his toddler self had been able to muster. And even though Squall had been hurt beyond his childish understanding, Seifer had been glad when Ellone had left them.

Eleven years later, he almost felt sorry.

Thinking about Ellone, he started to wonder whether the older girl would be accompanying Laguna on his visit. From all he had ever found out, Ellone still lived in Esthar. Somebody had told him that she had gotten married to a former soldier named Biggs, a name that he recalled vaguely but had never spent much thought on. The memory of his life as a sorceress knight was painful and dim, covered by a thick veil of fog which he didn't have much desire to slice through. In fact, he believed that some things were better off remaining forgotten.

Suddenly, he turned his focus outward again and realized that the weather was definitely starting to worsen. The wind had picked up distinctly, ruffling even his carefully gelled hair. Huge clouds were casting large shadows, hiding the last faint rays of sun cutting through the greying sky. Even the air smelled of rain.

Seifer actually happened to like storms, but he figured that it probably wasn't such a good idea for his delicate roommate to linger out in the cold any longer.

Resting his gunblade against his right shoulder, he trudged over to the sleeping frame and perched down before it once again. His left hand found Squall's arm and steadily started to shake it.

"Hey princess, time to wake up," he muttered.

The brunette stirred immediately at the sound of Seifer's baritone voice and rolled over on his back, legs propped up on the ground and arms folded across his face. He was obviously bristling against the idea of having to wake up. Seifer wasn't known to be the most patient person to ever have walked Hyne's sweet planet, but he was enjoying the sight of a sleepily groaning Squall so much that he decided to sit it out and simply study his rival's every movement.

Squall peeled his arms from his face lazily, blinking up into a pair of flickering green gems and an all too familiar satisfied smirk. Brows slanted wryly, he licked his lips subconsciously and swallowed the bitter taste that coated his mouth. He didn't see the sudden passionate hunger flaring up in Seifer's eyes, because a second later, his natural self-protective instincts kicked back in. He was exposing all sorts of vulnerable body parts lying there on his back and consequently, his senses immediately flipped to alert status.

Squall sat up quickly, and he would have slammed his forehead right into Seifer's if the blonde hadn't managed to back off just in time. In a flash, the younger leapt to his feet and brushed stray grass from his clothes. He, too, noticed the change of weather almost right away and cocked his head to glance at the sky.

"A storm," he mumbled, more to himself than to anyone else.

"That's why I woke you up," Seifer replied as he stood as well. "It's gonna rain."

"Hn. Thanks."

Seifer repressed a sarcastic comment at the brunette's grumpy response, figuring that grumpy or not, Squall _had_ been thoughtful enough to thank him. Instead, he watched how Squall bent down to pick up his half empy ice tea bottle and took a sip of the berry red liquid. Seifer almost coughed painfully seeing Squall running his tongue across his lips briefly once more, not even aware of what he was doing, let alone what it was doing to _Seifer_.

_ 'Geez, he has to quit doing that.' _

"I need to go and get ready for Laguna's dinner."

Finally distracted from Squall's mouth, Seifer adjusted his gaze slightly and looked blankly into Squall's swirling storm blue eyes, which oddly reminded him of the color tinting the sky that very same moment.

"You call him Laguna?"

Squall merely shrugged and twirled the bottle in his gloved hands, obviously not too comfortable with the subject.

"He's your father and all," Seifer added.

"I hardly know him."

The blonde cocked his head to the side in wonder.

"Do you _want _to get to know him?"

The brunette blinked hesitantly at the question. Nobody had ever asked him that before. He had been _told_ that he should get to know his father better, but no one had once bothered to ask whether that was something that he actually _wanted_.

Seifer Almasy was still full of surprises.

"I don't know," he answered quietly and truthfully.

"I remember you always wanted a family when you were a kid. You're still a kid now, so what changed?"

_ 'Man… I just can't help it, can I?' _

For some reason, Squall didn't pick up on the insult. He was focused inward once more, troubling his mind over things that Seifer now regretted he had brought up.

"Hey, you really don't have to talk about it, Leonhart," he offered amicably. "No worries."

"I don't know what changed since then," Squall answered anyway. "But... things just aren't the way they used to be anymore."

That had to have been the understatement of the year, and both of them knew it.

"No kidding," Seifer snorted.

They both looked at each other for a long time, either of them incapable of reading the other man's face. Eventually, Squall broke the eye contact and kneeled to gather the heap of sandwich wrappings, but Seifer stopped him short by extending an arm and halting him by the shoulder. He could feel Squall tensing at the unexpected contact, but the SeeD didn't jerk away.

Immediately, Seifer removed his hand.

_ 'I'll bite my own ass before I make the same mistake again.'_

"I'll do that," he shrugged casually. "I wanna stay here a lil while longer and train some more."

"What about the storm?" Squall asked, sounding somewhat surprised.

"I don't mind. I'll be back in there in a bit."

Squall nodded vaguely, holding on tightly to his sword and tea bottle.

"Alright. Later, then."

"Yep. Later, Leonhart."

He watched the slender brunette's silhouette disappearing uphill against the brooding dark sky. The wind had picked up another notch; it was tearing through the trees, his hair and his clothes much colder and harder than before. Seifer pinned down the empty wrappers with the last remaining sandwiches to prevent them from just flying off, before he resumed his own little training ritual in the rising gale.

Soon enough, though, it was getting too dark to see much of anything and the wind was starting to howl at an annoyingly loud pitch. Far off in the distance, he could even hear the first foreboding rolls of thunder. Sighing into the shuddering air, he gathered his drink, sword and garbage and trudged back to Garden.

The first drops of rain were beating down onto his skin before he even reached the roofed part of the school building. Cursing, he decided that he had waited just a little too long; he most certainly hadn't planned on getting wet.

Suddenly, his attention was caught by something rolling over the pavement before him noisily, moved by the wind whipping about the grounds sharply. Bending down, he realized that it was an empty plastic bottle with an all too familiar label. Only a few feet away was the matching blood red puddle of berry flavored ice tea. Seifer's brows lowered.

Feeling somewhat uneasy, Seifer looked around for a sign of Squall. There was nothing. He couldn't be sure that it was the brunette's bottle to begin with, but he found it discomforting nonetheless.

He gathered it into his arms and continued on into the brightly lit main hall, which served as an odd contrast to the darkness raging outside. He shivered underneath his wet clothes and his eyes adjusted achingly for a second, before they fell onto a large group of people standing a little off in the distance, gossiping loudly.

He almost dropped everything he was carrying.

Seifer knew all of those people, some better than others.

One of them he wished he never had met.

Jade green was disbelievingly glued to a feminine, slim figure dressed in white and blue holding on tightly to somebody else's arm. Long, chestnut colored hair was framing a beautiful pale skinned face dominated by large, thick-lashed brown eyes that clung to the man whose arm she was claiming possessively. As much as Seifer's mind was trying to deny the sight, he knew who he was looking at.

It was indeed no other than Rinoa Heartilly.

He shot a quick glimpse at the man at her side, immediately mistaking him for Squall, before he called himself to mind that Squall did not have hair long enough to be gathered into a pony tail. Even so, the man's features were similarly elegant and fair, his hair the same cold brown if with a slightly more bluish tint to it. Seifer had only seen that man and his two friends, a dark skinned sinewy man and a large guy about twice his size, once inside the Lunatic Pandora after Adel had been miserably defeated. Her spell on him had been broken then, and those were some of the few vivid memories he had.

That man was Squall Leonhart's father, the president of Esthar and the valiant hero of the first sorceress war. That man was Laguna Loire.

And Laguna was holding Rinoa Heartilly in his arms in a cruelly unmistakable way.

Seifer could merely gape at the scene, mind racing at light speed and heartbeat picking up to where it was almost crushing his chest. He knew what he was seeing, and he prayed to Hyne that his brunette roommate _hadn't_ seen it yet. His eyes roamed the hall for the sight of Squall, but he was nowhere to be found. Unsure whether that was a good sign or not, he returned his focus back to the group.

Laguna and Rinoa had obviously been accompanied by the two men whose names Seifer did not know, as well as a couple of Estharian soldiers who were crisply standing at attention. Apparently, Cid, Edea, Quistis and the others from the old orphanage gang were playing welcome committee, and none of them appeared to feel particularly comfortable about the situation. He even caught a glimpse of Quistis chewing on the corner of her lips, looking more than just uneasy.

To his mild surprise, even Rinoa didn't seem to be her usual overly cheerful and annoying self. There was something different about her, but he didn't know and didn't care to find out what it was. He had more important things to worry about.

Taking a deep breath to collect himself, he quickly stepped up to the assembly and caught their attention by his wet boots snapping over the marble floor loudly.

"Where is Squall?" he growled, not looking at anyone in particular, yet definitely _not_ looking at Rinoa.

"S-Seifer?"

He shut her surprised voice out immediately, turning to glare at Quistis and Zell whose pained expressions seemed to mingle with confusion.

"Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Quistis replied, taken aback. "I thought he'd be with you?"

"He was. He went inside about fifteen minutes ago. Where is he?"

Seifer's voice was tense, shadowed with urgency and slowly rising panic. He had an extremely bad feeling about the whole situation. The bottle that he believed to have belonged to Squall flashed before his inner eye, crimson red puddle and everything, and he subconsciously tightened his grip around it.

"Fifteen minutes ago? Where were you guys at?" Zell asked confusedly.

"The yard."

"We were all standing outside until it started to rain, because…" Quistis paused, leveling a nervous glance with the Estharian guests, "Because they wanted to see Garden."

His panic flared. If they had stood outside all that time, Squall would have _had_ to pass by them in order to enter the facility... there was no way around that.

_'Fuck.'_

"What's wrong, Seifer?"

He lashed around immediately, not paying any attention to Quistis anymore, or anyone else for that matter. Slamming the trash into the nearest bin, he didn't care that he missed and wrappers spilled all over the floor.

_'If Squall saw Rinoa and Laguna being all over each other…'_

Seifer was outside in the pouring rain again only seconds later, running down the wide paved path, calling Squall's name loudly through the howling wind, thunder and the lightning that tore the sky in two.

He never received an answer.

Panting and dripping wet from every pore already, he reached the Garden's gate warden house. At the sight of a dim light, he leaned over the counter to face the old man who had been working that same job for well over ten years. The warden recognized him at once, old grey eyes wide in surprise and shock.

"S-S-Seifer? Seifer _Almasy_?"

No time for courtesy.

"Have you seen Squall?"

"Uh… Commander Leonhart? Why, yes, I have."

"When? Where?" he hissed those questions with a razor sharp edge, not minding that the man flinched fearfully at his open display of aggression; to the man's dismay, Seifer was hell bent on receiving an answer, no matter at what cost.

"Ah, uhm… maybe twenty minutes ago? I-I actually just called back there to find out if anything was wrong."

"What do you mean?" Seifer spat.

"W-well, he wasn't looking too good, a-and I didn't know, I mean… he was just-"

Growling, Seifer reached across the counter and wrenched his hands into the man's uniform, pulling him close to his face, feeling his frightened breath brushing his own rain slicked skin.

"_Define_ not looking good!"

"E-h-h… d-d-don't, p-please-"

"Answer me, old man! What was wrong, and where did he go?"

"H-he… I really d-don't know where he went! He didn't talk to me! He just ran outside. He was really pale, and…I-I think he was crying."

Panic now enveloped Seifer like a second skin. His hands still grasping the trembling warden, his eyes shot around, trying to pierce the darkness beyond the gates of Garden, but there was nothing but rain and pitch black distance.

"You let him run out there?" he roared harshly and accusingly, glaring the man in front of him to a sniveling wreck. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I-I…I…"

"Ah, fuck!"

He thrust the body away from himself and back into the cubicle, immediately lashing around to sprint back to the school building. It didn't matter to him that the warden would call security right away; if he wanted to catch up with Squall, he'd need a motorized vehicle.

The odd group was still in the same spot where he had left it, all of them staring apprehensively, some even making attempts at stopping him, but he was too fast and past them before any of them had a chance to react properly. He heard his name whirring through the air behind him, but it didn't even slow him down.

Running through the hallway to the parking lot, he felt blood pounding through his veins and rushing in his ears as panic seized his very core.

_ ..:"He ran outside. He was really pale. He was crying.":.. _

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

He thrust his foot into the vehicle department's office door, kicking it open with a loud thud that sent the two men in the small room yelping out of their chairs. Narrow emerald green eyes that were flaring with determination, as well as something that others could have easily mistaken as madness, raced across the room until they located the board that held all keys to Balamb Garden's cars. With two long strides Seifer had reached it and he randomly teared a neatly numbered key off a hook.

"H-hey! You can't do that!"

He silenced the man who had stepped up behind him by slamming his right arm up in an acute angle, crushing his fist and forearm into the other man's face. His opposite dropped to his knees like a stone, howling and grasping his nose that was spilling coursing streams of blood.

Seifer didn't care.

Pushing by the fearfully paralysed second vehicle officer, he entered the garage and begun the frantic search for his car.

"Number 14, number 14, number 14, c'mon, _come on_! Fuck…"

His fist was curled tightly around the key, holding it sacred like the Holy Grail itself. Intricately etched metal was carving itself into the flesh of his palm, almost cutting off the blood flow. Seifer was too consumed by his anxiety and alarm to even notice the pain.

Finally, he found what he had been looking for: a boxy looking yellow jeep, fortunately one of the kind that would easily comply with a rough overland ride. He shoved inside quickly, started the motor and slammed the gas pedal before he had even fully sunk into his seat.

With screeching tires and his hands clenched around the steering wheel like vices, Seifer hurled through the garage and hit one of the laser controls for the gate, causing the huge doors to slowly hiss aside and emit him into the pure darkness and rage of the storm.

Even if his eyes had ever searched the rear view mirror, he would not have seen the red alarm sirens lighting up and shrieking in a tantrum of acoustic violence.

Then again... it wouldn't have made a difference, either way.

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To be continued!  
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* * *

Oh boy oh boy, what's gonna happen next I fear I am going to get some flames or at least unhappy reviews for this chapter. I know that Laguna and Rinoa being there in an "unmistakable position" probably comes as a surprise for some of you and seems highly unlikely, but I will explain everything further soon, I did spend lots of time thinking about it… this just wasn't the time for explanations - Just bear with me a little longer


	29. Nothing Else Matters

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**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 29: "Nothing Else Matters"  
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_ 'Squall.'_

His heart was pumping adrenaline as he steered the Garden Jeep across the plains of Balamb at life threatening speed. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered, _nothing_ except for Squall. He had to find him, find him before anything happened to him. His conscience was screaming out at him, urging him to drive faster. He was trusting his instincts, laying his life into the hands of fate as he cut through the rain and mud, knowing that at this speed, any second could be his last.

Everything was a void of grey and thunder, there was no telling of where he was going. More precisely, he didn't even know where to look.

He floored the gas pedal all the same.

_ 'Squall.' _

His heart was thrusting so hard against his ribcage that it hurt, but even the fiercest of pains didn't matter. He knew what stakes were at risk; there was only so much pain that a spirit could take before it would crack, and Hyne, Squall's had taken far too much already.

_..:"He ran outside. He was really pale. He was crying.":.. _

Those words stood in flames before his inner eye, throbbing in everlasting fire. He didn't even feel the tears pooling against the corners his eyes. His fear was consuming his all as his hands wrenched tighter around the steering wheel.

_ 'I. won't. lose. you! I **won't**, you hear me?' _

Suddenly, a new feeling sliced through his panic. Something was calling him, crying out for his aid. He couldn't hear it, but the presence filled him until his breath hitched. He knew that feeling. The familiar sensation of something slipping into his mind, finding a quiet corner to rest and unfold.

___ 'A Guardian Force…?' _

_Help him… Help him… Please… Stop him… You must stop him...  
_

Every muscle tight like wires, he let the high crying, clear ringing whistle of words take control over his actions. His foot mashed on the brake pedal with all of its might, and he was out of his seat and in the menacing, mud grey night before his car had even come to a perfect halt. His gunblade was thudding against the side of his thigh as he dashed through the darkness, rain pouring down on him in endless fury. There was no wonder, no question... he knew exactly where to go.

The fire grotto forest arose before him in the distance, dark and brooding and foreboding. Whatever Guardian Force had led him there, it had been right; it had _known_. The pale blue light flickering through the veils of darkness like a beacon in the blackest of seas left no room for doubts.

_Hurry… Hurry…_

And Seifer ran. Ran for the life of the person that he loved and wanted nothing more than to protect. Faster than his feet had ever carried him before, he was closing in on the light.

_ 'Be alright, Hyne, just fucking be alive!'_

He opened his mouth to scream - to scream Squall's name with all the passion left in his soul.

And stopped.

He stood frozen in the moment, staring at the picture that had unfolded before him in the rain.

The picture of a nightmare.

A slender boy's body, dressed in thin rain soaked black clothes, who was nothing but a quivering wreck, was slumped down in the mud with his back flattened against a tree; a familiar scene, yet so sickly twisted. Between his sprawled out legs he held LionHeart, which shed a soft azure light that cut through the dark barriers of the night. Bloody, gloved hands were curled around the naked blade, and LionHeart's mortal tip was directed unmistakably at Squall's very heart.

"No."

Lightning cut the sky in half and tore into the ground mere feet away from Seifer. The blonde didn't flinch a single muscle; his attention was fixed on Squall alone.

"Don't... _Don't_, that's not worth it!"

Squall's head lowered, a wet curtain of brown hair obscuring his face from vision.

"Leave…"

His voice was barely more than a broken whisper, but Seifer heard it louder than the thunder.

Nonetheless, it didn't change anything.

"I'm not going to leave," he breathed tediously, but filled with determination.

A quiet laugh suddenly rung from the bottom of the tree, drenched in bitterness that was infinitely fueled by years of rejection and loneliness.

"She showed you the way… didn't she…? Shiva… she left me… just like everyone else… they all... _betray_ me…"

"No. No, she didn't. She called me to protect you."

"I… don't need…"

"You _do_. More than anything."

Had Seifer Almasy ever experienced the phenomenon of time compression, he would have mistaken the moment for it. The raving nature around them didn't hold enough infliction to ever phase into his conscience; they had been drawn out of time, out of place, out of existence. All he saw was Squall. All he _heard _was Squall. All he felt… was a flurry of excruciating fear.

The fear of losing the only person he had ever truly cared for.

"As if… you even care…You're just like… everybody else…"

All that time, Squall had understood nothing.

"I care more than I have ever cared about anything else in my life."

The blonde stepped closer with all truth spilling from his lips, while semi-consciously trying to get within a leap's range of Squall's body. He would try to make the younger brunette understand, try to make him see that he did indeed care, that all of his life he had never cared about anything _but_ Squall; but even if he couldn't make him see, he would save his life all the same.

In the end, Seifer had a promise to keep - to a little girl and to himself, above everyone.

"Liar…" he heard Squall hissing rancorously through clenched teeth. "Goddamn... liar..."

And by all he had ever loved and held dear, he was going to keep it.

"…Squall."

It wasn't until that gentle husk of a sound left his lips before Seifer finally received a physical reaction. The SeeD's rain soaked body twitched forcefully, breath hitching in his chest with surprise. Squall hadn't heard the blonde gunblader say his first name for a very, very long time. He had been Leonhart, puberty boy, ice princess… he had been so many things. He hadn't been Squall to that man for what seemed like an eternity.

"Squall," Seifer repeated softly, loving the way the beautiful name rolled off his tongue.

He couldn't see the wide storm blue eyes that were hidden behind trails of cold brown hair, couldn't see the tears washing down snowy cheeks. Couldn't see how those same eyes clenched shut again - not wanting to trust, not wanting to give.

Not wanting to believe.

"No…" Squall choked bitterly, shaking his head in a miserable daze.

"Please."

With that simple plea, Seifer crashed onto his knees next to Squall's broken figure. Desperate, he witnessed how Squall's gloved and blood dripping hands wrenched more deeply into his sword, tearing open the delicate flesh of his palms. LionHeart's hilt was plunged shallowly into the mud covering the ground. The blade was shaking, matching the tremors of Squall's legs.

"Stop," Seifer begged croakily. "Stop hurting yourself!"

Finally, Squall raised his head and lifted his gaze to meet Seifer's. The sight shattered the blonde man's heart. There was so much agony trapped within the beautiful lines of that tormented face... so much pain and desolation. All those dangerous emotions that Squall had locked away for so long had finally emerged to the surface.

And they were going to break him.

"I can't… I can't do this anymore…" he pressed under the strain of tears, eyes faltering with strident glares of purest despair.

"Of course you can't," Seifer whispered urgently, his hands clenched to fists as they were resting on his thighs, "You've gone through so much, all by yourself. I'm here to help you, you hear me? I've_ always_ been here."

Squall's lips locked together as his blurred gaze was being held by Seifer's swirling pools of emerald and jade. Green so rich and sanguine that in the depths of his tortured mind, he recalled the color green to be the color of hope.

Hope.

He wanted to cry out.

He had stopped believing in hope so long ago.

"I can't…" he whispered again, tears choking his words.

"I know it's hard, I _know_, believe me! I don't expect you to say anything, Squall. Just… don't stop me."

With those words, Seifer gently leaned forward and let his hands travel towards Squall's, which still steadied the blade in its dangerous position. The blonde gunblader never let the SeeD's broken face out of sight as he slowly moved in. His golden features phased into a reassuring smile that reached his eyes and radiated warmth like the sun even in the coldest of nights.

"Trust me," he whispered.

He saw the doubt lighting up in Squall's eyes, fear of betrayal flaring like a powerful flame that had been fed by years of hurt and disappointment. Afraid of what the younger man would do, Seifer abandoned all restraint and lunged forward into Squall's body to seize the blue blade tightly, wrenching it out of the brunette's hands and his reach with the speed of a man that had everything to lose.

At the feeling of his sword being violently torn from his grasp, Squall cried out angrily and rocked forward in the vain attempt to reclaim his weapon, but his body crashed against Seifer's like the sea against the shores. The blonde didn't falter or edge backwards as far as an inch. He kneeled firmly, tossing the gunblade a distance behind himself. Without hesitating but a second, he jerked his own Hyperion from his belt and disposed of it with a strong flick of his arm as well, thus leaving Squall with no weapon at reach.

"I hate you, Almasy!" Squall spat, hurt and desperate anger branding each word as he thrust them out with all the wrath his violated soul could gather.

Seifer's wounded looking face bespoke the torment raging in his heart at those words, but still he managed to remain calm against Squall's attempts to violently struggle out of his forced captivity. Both of his hands seized the dark haired SeeD's shoulders, pinning them securely against the tree. Squall kicked and fought for every inch of ground he could gain, but his moves were too emotional and didn't possess the energy that was so vital to them. Whatever he tried, it was in vain. Eventually, his body merely tensed once more, last residual shreds of anger ground together… and then he went limp in Seifer's grasp.

There was no motion coming from the blonde gunblader who still held Squall by his shoulders. His head hung low, rain soaked golden hair glued against his skin. At his hands, he could feel Squall's body shuddering under tears. The inside of his bent left knee was touching the boy's thigh, and his right foot was firmly planted between Squall legs. Beneath them, even the earth seemed to be echoing Squall's wretched shivers.

"Why…" finally came a cracked whisper, throbbing with anguish.

Seifer lifted his head sadly and met a pair of storm cloud eyes that were shadowed with tears. He knew that Squall couldn't understand his feelings. How could he? Seifer himself didn't even fully comprehend. Yet, somewhere deep inside his heart, he had hoped that Squall would grasp the meaning of his actions, the importance of his own life to Seifer. But maybe neither of them was meant to experience such happiness.

"Because I don't want you to die."

It was the truth, yet the most blatant lie he had ever told. His answer didn't even come close to explaining his true feelings. He just wanted to spare Squall any more trouble, any more hurt, as well as he wanted to spare himself cold rejection.

Seifer swallowed hard, jade green welding to the eyes that danced with tears and looked at him full of confusion, loss and incomprehension.

So innocent. He had no clue.

The corners of his mouth cambered to a sad smile and he reached for Squall's face to gently thumb away the wetness beneath his long, dark lashes. A single tear trailed down Seifer's finger slowly, and he watched it fusing with the rain and the creases of his hand.

At last, all of Squall's dams broke loose. Storm torn eyes wrenched shut tightly as he dug his battered, blood adorned hands into his hair and his mouth let out long contained, uncontrolled cries of desparation.

"S... Squall…"

Seifer's eyes widened in horror, wholly overwhelmed by the sight, and he could only allow his protective instincts to take over. Without wasting time on hesitation, his hands found the back of Squall's head and his shoulders, and in the burning wish to do something - _anything_ - to ease Squall's suffering, Seifer drew the boy into a tight hug, enfolding him into his arms with all the strength he could muster. He didn't know what else to do or say; all he could do was be there and crush Squall against him to cry into his chest.

His chin resting on top of the younger SeeD's wet hair, Seifer himself started to tear up at the force of his emotions. He loved that guy with all his heart, loved him so much that all of his frantic sadness felt like it was just as much his very own.

"Shhh… it's alright," he muttered. "It's alright, Squall. It's alright."

With his eyes clenched shut and his hands curled to fists at the brunette's skin and hair, the pain grew so unbearable that he wanted to scream. It wasn't right that either of them had to endure such mind numbing misery. It wasn't fair. He wanted it to stop, no matter at what price. No matter what he would have to do.

"I'll make it alright… I swear… I _promise_…" he ground out shakily.

Soft and soothing murmurs gushed from his lips and vanished into the muss of Squall's hair. He would have gladly given his life that night if it would have just made Squall's pain go away, but his wish, however noble it might have been, was not granted. Squall's strength, pride and dignity - it all had been snapped so cruelly by the hurt he had buried inside his heart for much too long. Seifer hated the world for leaving him with nothing to do but cover the man he loved with his embrace and hope that he could make a difference.

They stayed that way, Seifer whispering gentle words of reassurance and Squall sobbing in his arms, shivers wrecking his body in raging agony. Rain and blood was quickly soaking both of them until they became one with the coiling nature around them. Eternity seemed to melt into nothingness. Their pain, born by one but shared by heartfelt empathy, was everything.

Finally, Squall's breathless cries subsided, if only because they had drained his last frail reserves of energy. Limbs tired and heavy, he unclenched his muscles one by one and went slack in Seifer's comforting embrace.

Suddenly, the only sound audible was the rain tearing into the ground and their bodies, and Seifer sucking in air rhythmically through thick strands of wet hair.

Very slowly, reason returned to Seifer's fogged mind. He understood where he was, and he knew that they couldn't linger out in the cold any longer. The thunder and lightning had ceased to shatter the sky, but rain was still beating down on them incessantly. Slowly, he curled his hands around Squall's neck and eased the boy away from himself, closely watching for any possible reaction.

There was nothing.

Squall submitted into being drawn away from Seifer's body just as he had submitted into being drawn against it. It was as if the crucial difference was of no importance at all.

Squall's head hung low, eyes empty and out of focus. Ever so gently, Seifer placed a hand underneath the SeeD's chin and tilted it upwards.

"Squall," he started. "Look at me."

More pain pooled in those shadowed blue orbs as they slowly ascended to meet pleading emerald glaring with barely restrained tears. It was difficult for Seifer to hold Squall's tormented gaze, but even so, he managed to smile softly.

"I'm going to take you out of here."

For a second, Seifer feared his heart would give out from the strain when he saw how Squall merely lowered his eyes again; eyes that were so devoid of any will or emotion. He bit his lip sharply at the sight, causing the delicate flesh to rupture and a thin trail of blood to run down his chin and fuse with the rain. He didn't even so much as notice.

He rested Squall's back against the tree and rose to full height to gather their swords. All the while, his watchful gaze never left Squall's petrified features. He strapped both LionHeart and Hyperion to his belt, neither minding the blades etching into his legs, nor realizing the strange, blackish blue tint to Squall Leonhart's sword. In the end, he really did have more important things to worry about.

Seifer returned to Squall's body and lowered himself into a squatting position.

"Trust me… okay?"

His blood adorned and bruised lips drew into a sad smile full of bitterness as he slid both of his arms underneath Squall's legs and his back.

"Just this once…"

Unfolding his legs beneath his body, he managed to rise, Squall cradled safely in his arms. He adjusted his grasp, gently tilting Squall's head to rest against his chest instead of merely slumping backwards carelessly. The SeeD's muscles were making no attempt at holding out any longer. If he wouldn't have known any better, Seifer would have thought that Squall had faded into unconsciousness.

_ 'Maybe part of him has.'_

Green eyes roamed the fathomless space surrounding their position, trying to locate the car's general direction. He had sprinted so fast without paying any heed to where he was going, he wasn't sure that he would be able to locate his jeep again.

Finally, his sight narrowed when he spotted two cones of dim yellow against bottomless grey.

_'The headlights...'_

It was quite a distance to be walking with two long swords at his waist and the dead weight body in his arms, but he didn't care. He had carried Squall further than this before, and he would have carried him all the way to Esthar if need be.

While he slowly trudged through the rain and mud, his greenstone gaze kept glueing itself to the boy in his arms. Squall's right hand was laying in his lap, while his left arm hung slack towards the ground, leaving a few drops of blood every now and then to spill to the earth and melt into the mud. Seifer knew he had to look at those wounds, but he didn't want to do it in the dirt. He'd have to take Squall back to Balamb Garden first.

Balamb Garden… frankly, he had no idea what awaited him there. He had charged after Squall abandoning all promises he had made of not leaving the school's grounds, and he had even gone so far as threatening and hurting people in the process.

A cold, humorless smirk curled his lips.

_ 'Guess I wasn't made to obey rules… This time, I'm definitely done for.'_

What worried him the most, though, was the idea of Squall being seen in his current condition. His friends would not understand. Worst of all, Laguna and Rinoa were still there, too. His face darkened at the thought. They were the last people Squall should have to lay eyes on again. No wonder Squall felt betrayed to the very core. His own father…

His body wanted to jolt in anger, but he restrained himself. He didn't want to scare or disturb Squall. Not if he could help it.

Quietly, he carried him all the way to the car. With impressive motor skills, Seifer managed to open the passenger door using just the tips of his fingers and his leg. The smoothness of his movements had never quite compared to Squall's, but was extraordinary nonetheless. Years of training had rendered him much stronger and more dexterous than most.

Gently, he slipped the drooping body into the seats, making sure that it came to rest in a position that was both comfortable and safe. Squall's gaze was still empty and bare of any focus. He looked as if his soul had just shut itself off and retreated to a place where nobody would hurt it.

Seifer closed the door with a careful thud and circled the car to the driver's seat. In his flight to the forest he had even forgotten slam the door shut, hence his seat was reminding him very much of a wet sponge. He sat down and ignored it, then closed the door to the storm and glanced once more at the brunette who had drowned himself wholly in his painful catatonic stupor. Squall's body was curled against the back of his seat, his eyes half-closed and staring dully at the glove box like a pair of broken mirrors, devoid of life and volition.

Seifer slowly rested his head against the steering wheel and finally allowed himself to cry.

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**-------------------------  
To be continued!  
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**

Oh my.

Sigh.


	30. One Wish

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** Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 30: "One Wish"   
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"_Hyne!_"

Laden with shock, Quistis Trepe's voice quivered through the cold air that filled the main hall of Balamb Garden. As she clutched both of her hands in front of her mouth, the two security officers standing at parade rest by her side snapped their sights to the blonde instructor in confusion. Rinoa, Laguna, Zell and Cid, however, had followed Quistis' wide-eyed cobalt gaze to the entrance. Admitted through electronically hissing doors that had been closed to ward off the thunderstorm stepped a gloomy figure that they didn't even recognize at first sight. He was tall, his golden hair dark, wet and glued to his skin, his green eyes grave and distant as he stopped short in his pace, causing the two huge swords at his sides to thud softly against his thighs. He looked as if he had just fought off death and demons, with every fibre of his being a knight and anchor to the frail figure he was cradling in his arms so protectively. His watchful emerald gaze lifted from the motionless body in his embrace and connected with the people staring at him.

_ "_Seifer!_ " _

The uniformed men at Quistis' side flipped their weapons up immediately and cocked their fingers around the triggers, but the instructor extended an arm in a sharp halting gesture. The tirade of reprehension, condemnation and discomposure she had originally prepared for Seifer died clean on her tongue at the sight of Squall Leonhart's limp body.

"No, leave him! He… he has…"

"Squall!"

The spiky-haired martial artist lunged forward from behind her, closely followed by Rinoa, Laguna and the director of Balamb Garden himself. Not a single word escaped Seifer Almasy's lips at their approach, but his eyes bore like lucid flames into the sea green orbs of Laguna Loire. For the first time in his life, Seifer truly, and bare of any mind control, wanted to kill for the mere purpose of ruining somebody's life and seeing them suffer. The muscles of his hands contracted, and only the lifeless body they were holding restrained him from snapping the president of Esthar's neck that very moment.

"Oh Hyne, is he… please tell me he's not…"

Arduously, Seifer managed to funnel his attention towards Quistis, who still held the fingers of one hand in front of her mouth as she shakily pushed past her friends and visitors and stopped before him. Her face was as white as Squall's.

"No," the brawny male finally managed to press through gritted teeth, "He's alive."

Again, his gaze found Laguna's, and he was sickened by the relief he could read in them. He couldn't stomach to look at Rinoa, who appeared to be crying at his side. Instead, he watched how Quistis closed in on him and leaned over Squall's unconscious frame.

"He's only passed out," she sighed softly when her experienced eye had taken in every detail of her commander's body, "Thank Hyne… I'm so glad. Seifer... what happened? Where did you find him? And what… happened to his hands?"

He looked at Squall. The brunette was slack in his arms, pale lids closed over his beautiful eyes, looking more vulnerable than ever. There was no way he was going to tell them what exactly had happened. It was none of their business.

"I found him in the fire grotto forest. I took him back here and he passed out in the car. He's hypothermic and he's going to catch pneumonia if he doesn't get out of these wet clothes immediately."

Seifer kept his voice blank and matter-of-factly, summoning all his remaining bits of strength to mask his own emotions. He was overflowing with hate, anger, love, despair and nausea at the sight of Laguna and his new love. Despite the cold, he felt contemptuous heat rising in his body. He had to get away from those people as quickly as possible, for his own sake and for Squall's.

"Seifer!"

They turned at the sound of Sybil Kadowaki's voice, who came running towards them as quickly as her feet would carry her. Seifer's grasp tightened around Squall's body, as if that was to save them both from the things that were to come. Deep down, he knew what was going to happen. They were going to take Squall away from him and then he would be locked up in a cell again for what he had done. He'd be alone as he had always been - an outcast and a mischief. Only barely, he managed to suppress a shiver that threatened to erupt and rock his body.

"Let me see," Kadowaki said sternly, already standing before him.

Her hands grasped Squall's and she took a closer look at the deep flesh wounds, which were still oozing blood. Instantaneously, her face changed and she cast a wry look at Seifer. She stared at him intently for a moment, but said nothing. There was no accusation or chastisement in her eyes, which surprised Seifer.

Eventually, she broke their eye contact and quietly curled her fingers around Squall's narrow wrist to take his pulse.

"He's alright," she summed up sternly as she placed Squall's hand back in his lap, "But he needs to be warmed up quickly, the poor boy is cold as ice. He has been out there for way too long, and you too, Seifer! You're both wet to the bone."

Everybody saw how Seifer suddenly clutched Squall's frail frame even tighter, not giving a damn anymore about what everyone else thought. Something inside of him was crying out for them not to take Squall away. The SeeD's cold and lifeless body was the only comfort Seifer had left. He wanted to protect that small guy and be something for him that neither of them had ever thought possible. That was all he wanted.

"Please," he finally whispered croakily, "I know I'll get locked up in a cell for what I did… but let me take care of him first… please. Please."

Kadowaki and Cid exchanged thunderstruck glances at the pleading and miserable look in Seifer's eyes. Neither of them knew what had come to pass in the fire grotto forest and how Squall had ended up wounded, but neither of them had also ever seen Seifer Almasy begging for anything in his entire life. He was no longer the same man who had once left Balamb Garden to become a hero but ended up becoming the world's most hated outlaw. Many would have said that Seifer himself had proved their point that evening, that he had acted recklessly and mercilessly and that he ought to be locked away, but the blonde's eyes belied his crimes. Whatever he had done had obviously happened for the sake of the shattered brunette figure in his arms, and in any case, Cid's top priority had always been rehabilitation, never punishment.

"As you wish," the director finally answered evenly.

"Take him to your room," the doctor added, "Squall should have all necessary first aid equipment. I trust you with his wounds, I know you have grown to be quite a skilled healer."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Seifer nodded. He couldn't care less what they would do to him later on, as long as they wouldn't take Squall from him. He could even shut out the incoherent mumbles of the security officers, who were obviously outraged at the idea of a maniac such as Seifer Almasy running loose after he had broken a man's nose and stolen expensive Garden property. Fact was, the blonde hadn't "stolen" anything; the yellow jeep was parked outside the front gate. Not that he really fooled himself into believing that it would make any kind of noteworthy difference. Of course, he didn't really _care_, either; he had saved Squall, and he would gladly pay the price for that rescue.

"Come on," Cid said, jabbing his chin in the general directions of the dormitories. "Sybil and I will walk you there."

He threw Quistis a pregnant look, who picked up on it immediately and quickly whispered to Laguna and Rinoa as she placed her arms around both of them and tried to usher them away. Neither of the two looked very pleased, and Laguna started into a noisy tirade that the younger woman at his side only too willingly joined.

Seifer didn't notice any of it; he was already too busy carrying Squall to their apartment with the utmost care that his freezing and tired muscles could gather. Cid and Kadowaki walked slowly by his side without saying a word. The blonde figured that they were probably just accompanying him for the possibility that he'd simply crumple under the burden of Squall's body in his momentary feeble condition. If he wouldn't have been so cold, he probably would have laughed. Exhausted, hypothermic and burned out or not, as long as there was still a spark of life in him he would have never dropped Squall. Ever.

He was thankful nonetheless when they finally reached their room and Cid opened the door by punching a generic security code into the locking device. Under Kadowaki's watchful gaze, Seifer stepped inside and carefully placed Squall's limp frame on the bed. When the younger man's weight left his arms, Seifer had difficulties unclenching his muscles that had cramped painfully under the cold and the strain. Still, he managed not to crack the smallest of frowns.

"Are you going to be alright alone?"

He turned to look at the Garden's physician and nodded edgily, trying to summon a self-assured smile. He failed.

"Make sure to keep both of you warm, Seifer. His injuries aren't serious, but you look quite exhausted. Are you certain you can handle it?"

Seifer nodded again, not trusting his voice to answer. Even in the warmth of the school building, he was still freezing and had to try hard to suppress the shudders that threatened to wreck his body.

"Call me if anything is wrong," she continued, then turned to Cid. "He'll be fine. This isn't the first time he has done this. Let's return to the others."

Cid seemed slightly unconvinced, but the resolute woman managed to usher him outside with decisive gentleness, letting the door hiss close behind them. Seifer sighed and dropped his head and his flamingly aching arms, finally allowing himself to wince slightly at the pain. He knew that if he had shown only the slighest sign of weakness, somebody else would be taking care of Squall right now, and that awareness alone was worth all the effort.

He unfastened LionHeart and Hyperion to drop them onto a dresser away from the bed. Then, he slowly peeled his wet shirt from his rain slicked upper body, shuddering immediately as the freezing fabric left his skin. He had never been this cold in his entire life; the chill had taken possession of his inside as well as his out. Millions of needles were piercing his skin, and he couldn't fight the need to hug himself anymore. Trembling, his hands rubbed his upper arms and he breathed sharply through bluish lips. Before he was even able to turn his attention back to Squall, a wanly voice cut the silence that had only been interrupted by the shattering of his teeth.

"Seifer…?"

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Wow. Okay, that took a while didn't it? I'm sorry. I know it's a wee bit short, too, but hopefully you enjoyed it anyway :)  



	31. Falling Into You

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**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 31: "Falling Into You"  
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At the sound of that faltering voice, Seifer whirled around as quickly as his numb body would allow, and his surprised gaze connected with Squall's face. The brunette had obviously awoken without his awareness, and his eyes looked wearily and glazed over at the blonde. Their color was the usual perfect union of blue and grey; ribbons of colors that were neutral in their beauty until one of Squall's moods influenced the tint. They seemed confused behind thick, choppy strands of brown hair that hung wet and heavy into his pale face. Seifer managed to smile softly at the sight, and he closed the space between himself and the bed. Leaning over the younger man, he gently brushed the locks away that obscured Squall's vision. 

"Hey… good to see you awake," he finally cooed huskily.

The brunette stared up at him full of incomprehension and with a strange glow in his gaze. Suddenly, a fit of shivers rippled through his body, causing it to tremble violently and Squall to wrap his arms around himself helplessly. Seifer's face slanted, and he sank down onto the mattress with every ounce of his being radiating concern. His own chill and discomfort vanished quickly when he saw the SeeD shaking so miserably.

"You need to get out of those clothes," he stated calmly, one hand grasping Squall's shoulder to steady him, "And you need a bath or a shower."

When Squall had re-gained his composure, he nailed his gaze to the ceiling as if in embarrassment. Seifer recognized it as such and tried to crack a carefree laugh.

"Don't get all shy on me now, ya hear? I've seen you naked before. We used to take baths together all the time as kids, remember?"

The brunette's eyes narrowed and he coughed.

"That… was a long time ago," he gurgled hoarsely.

Seifer nodded and dispensed with making one of his typical sarcastic remark; he wasn't in the mood for their familiar insulting game. He was just tired and wanted both of them to warm up. The cold had caught up with him again at last, and the prospect of a hot shower was more than just tempting. Hence, relocating Squall to the bathroom would be his next task, and he wasn't quite sure how to tackle it.

"Want me to carry you into the bathroom?"

He just prayed that the direct approach would be the best. Judging by Squall's upset expression though, it obviously hadn't been. He sighed and drew back his hands in defeat.

"I don't really think you should walk. You're just going to collapse," he explained, a strain to his voice.

Squall merely intensified his scornful glare.

_ 'Great, he's whipping up the death glare.' _

"Fine. Suit yourself then, stubborn."

Seifer stood up copiously and waited for Squall to follow his example, but the brunette made no attempt at removing his persistent stare from the ceiling. The older man scratched his head in bewilderment. He didn't know what exactly Squall was trying to achieve with his behaviour. Mentally, he cursed himself for calling Squall "ice princess" so many times. Now that the SeeD was about to literally turn into an icicle, Seifer wanted nothing more than for him to get warm quickly.

"Look, I don't care if you're trying to kill yourself or not, Squall. You're not doing this shit while I'm around, got it? If you aren't going to walk to the bathroom, I'll _carry_ you."

As soon as he started to approach Squall again, however, the boy turned on his side with an angry grunt and weakly scrambled into a seating position. As he fought for balance, Squall kept his head low and his facial expression blank, purposely avoiding Seifer's watchful gaze. The slender brunette was still struggling with the memories of what had happened in the forest. He didn't know how much time had passed since then, but it couldn't have been too long ago since he was still wearing his wet and cold clothes. And cold they were, there was no doubt about that. He did want to take a warm shower, and at the same time, he didn't. As soon as his thoughts returned to Laguna and Rinoa, to seeing them together, he just wanted to die. Nobody cared about him or his feelings - they all just pretended and then left him in his grief. Seifer was no exception.

Anger rose inside Seifer when he saw the withdrawn and distant look on Squall's stark face. Just as he had finally started to gain the brunette's trust, Laguna and Rinoa had to show up and squash everything into nothingness. Squall had always been fragile, but he had never attempted to commit suicide. His father and his ex-girlfriend, and everyone else for that matter, had managed to push him that far. What was left for Seifer Almasy to do now but pick up the debris of Squall's shattered soul and hope that he could fix it somehow?

"Be careful…" he breathed almost inaudibly for no particular reason as he watched Squall's struggles.

Squall worked himself up into a standing position. Shakily, and ignoring Seifer's helpfully extended hand, he took his first two steps into the vague direction of the bathroom.

_'This... isn't going to... w... work...'_

As soon as that realization had struck him, he swayed and found himself rushing towards the ground after his muscles had simply caved in. Mentally, he prepared himself for the impact, but his body never connected with the floor. Instead, he suddenly felt himself being encircled by a pair of chilly but surprisingly strong arms, and he heard a chiding voice that whispered almost intimately into his ear and sent shivers to lance down his spine.

"I told you."

Seifer turned him around and gathered him into his arms with ease, swiping his legs off the floor as if it was nothing. Inside, the blonde was praying for his strength to hold out just a little while longer; he had already gone far beyond his limits. On the other hand, he alone had brought that responsibility upon himself, and for nothing in the world was he going to give it away.

Seifer's powers did not fail him, and Squall remained astoundingly quiet in his embrace. They reached the bathroom, and the blonde staggered just slightly before he lowered Squall to sit onto the edge of the bathtub. Of course, the Commander avoided meeting his gaze and simply stared downwards at the spotless white tiles. He was rather shocked to find Seifer suddenly kneeling in front of him and working on unlacing his boots.

"W-what are you doing…?"

The taller blonde looked up at him and cocked his head in subtle amusement. For a moment, he wondered at the alien glow in Squall's storm blue eyes that he couldn't quite place, then adjusted his focus to the mud spotted and rain soaked boots again.

"What does it look like?" he muttered, not even so sure that Squall could hear him.

Undoing the laces proved to be rather difficult; his cold and numb hands were having trouble with the intricate movements, and more than one curse spilled from his lips during the process. His skin felt prickly as if studded with needles and he had always been rather clumsy when it came to delicate handiwork. Finally, he managed to untie the pair and dropped them to the floor with a sickening wet smack. Squall's toes were almost blue as he removed his dripping black socks, and another concerned frown washed over Seifer's handsome features.

"Crap. You definitely need to warm up."

He rose and immediately reached for the hem of Squall's shirt. The brunette started to protest weakly, but Seifer was too determined and his patience had run too thin for him to give in to the childish thickhead another time. With his fingertips grazing chilly, porcelain skin, he peeled the soaked fabric from Squall's body and over his head. He was surprised to find the younger man's torso unbandaged. The wounds seemed to have healed well - purple bruises and brownish cut outlines were already fading into ivory perfection.

Squall shuddered, but refrained from crossing his arms in front of his chest. He was already showing too much frailty and weakness - he saw no need to take it any further. Thus, he clamped his gloved hands around the rim of the tub in defiance and immediately winced at the unexpected wave of pain shooting from his fingers through his entire arms.

"Shit, be careful!"

Seifer grasped Squall narrowly above his wrists and pried his hands off the tub, which almost caused the brunette to lose his precious balance. He stared up at Seifer, who seemed to be boiling with anger. Apparently, he was stringing the older man's patience quite a bit.

_ 'Like I care.' _

After snorting to himself, he roughly shot to his feet, and this time it was Seifer who had to fight for his equilibrium. The blonde staggered backwards, astonished by Squall's sudden movement and his somewhat firm stance.

"Dammit, Squall! What the fuck is the matter with you?"

The brunette wordlessly brushed past him and started towards the shower. Seifer arched an eyebrow.

"You shouldn't-"

"I'm taking a shower," Squall bit back harshly. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

Disbelieving, Seifer watched how Squall turned his back to him and pulled off his gloves in two sharp movements. He dropped them onto a rack and started to fidget with his belt buckle. The young SeeD did a much better job at loosening his belt than Seifer had done with his boots; seconds later, he already worked at pulling down his stiff black leather pants, miraculously managing to remove them without having to bend over in a revealing fashion. Seifer stared at the pale curves of Squall's aesthetically muscled legs and butt, flawless in all the details that the blonde managed to soak up in such a short time. Gulping, he let his gaze travel upwards along Squall's spine, roaming every inch of milky white skin until it came to a halt at the mess of chocolate brown hair that covered the head still turned away from him.

Brusquely, Squall pushed the shower curtain aside, stepped into the roomy basin and pulled the water repellent fabric close again. All the while, Seifer hadn't managed to pry his emerald eyes off the rather intoxicating sight. A welcome heat tingled through his entire body, and he manually had to adjust his breathing to a more calm rhythm to keep the heat from reaching certain areas of his body.

_ 'Pull yourself together, this really isn't the time.' _

Heaving a deep sigh, he decided to take a bath since Squall was occupying the shower and most definitely hadn't displayed any interest in company. As soon as he heard the rush of water, he started to remove his own boots and pants. Just as he stood perfectly naked, a pang of concern twitched his heart; maybe it wasn't the best of ideas to leave Squall without immediate supervision. He turned his head towards the shower, and was promptly proved correct.

A stifled thud rung from behind the obscuring veil, and Seifer didn't have to guess long over what could have possibly caused that disturbing sound. Hesitating but a second, he drew a determined breath, pushed past the curtain and stepped inside the basin.

As the plastic fabric drew close behind him, he was greeted by steam and a gush of hot water. To his feet and facing the showerhead kneeled Squall, fiercely struggling to scramble back onto his feet. He was having a hard time, as the slick walls didn't offer much support. Seifer stared at him quietly for a moment, figuring that the proud tantrum Squall had thrown just seconds earlier had probably sucked up the brunette's last bits of energy.

_ 'If anything is going to kill him, it's his damn pride.' _

He bent down and turned his head so the water wouldn't beat right into his eyes. His hands reached out for Squall, and they found the stubborn SeeD's shoulders.

"Come on," he said, gathering his powers as he started to pull. "On your feet."

With Seifer's aid, the brunette managed to achieve a fragile stance once more. Ashamed, he didn't dare to turn around. His arms hung slack against his sides, and Seifer's hands were still curled about the rounds of his shoulders. They stood about the distance of a breath apart, and ever so slowly, Squall came to realize that he didn't understand anything anymore. Seifer was always there, breaking his fall or picking him up to put him back on solid ground. Why? That question filled his conscience until it started to burn and stood etched into flames before his closed eyes. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He just wanted to know _why_.

Seifer saw Squall dropping his head, almost black hair now hiding the pale face. At his gentle touch, that vulnerable body was quivering once more and the shaking hands curled to tight fists, tearing the delicate flesh wounds open anew.

"Squall…"

With his heart beating faster now, he closed the space that parted them. Slowly, he let one arm travel from Squall's right shoulder across his collarbones, reaching all the way around with ease as soon as his body spooned against the smaller brunette's. The SeeD stiffened immediately. Seifer ignored it and used his other hand to wrap it around Squall's wrist. His larger hand cupped Squall's and eased it open with skilled gentleness.

"Stop. You have to stop. You're hurting yourself."

He lowered his mouth to Squall's ear and whispered ever so softly, waiting patiently until Squall's muscles unclenched. He smiled, and his breath against the brunette's ear and cheek caused the younger to tremble once more.

When he felt no more resistance against his embrace, he let go of Squall's hand and used his arm to wrap it around the boy's narrow waist. He pressed against the taut abdomen, pulling the other so close that he even filled the empty space that the arch of Squall's lower back created between them. The brunette stood perfectly still, succumbing to the protective hug at last. Despite the fact that Seifer's body was cold and the water was hot, the blonde's touch offered so much more comfort.

Even so, Squall's breath jarred at the unusual closeness and the never before experienced warmth. He shuddered yet again, but Seifer didn't let him go.

"Shhh…"

The blonde held his younger love calmly under the comforting warm waterfall that gushed from the showerhead above them. He buried his face in Squall's hair, cherishing their difference in height, tasting through half parted lips the dirt and rainwater that spotted Squall's head. He didn't mind. Anything that was Squall seemed to taste good, seemed to smell good. He loved everything about the stubborn SeeD Commander. In any other situation he probably would have felt more aroused at the feeling of the other man's body spooned against his, the curve of the other's butt pressing just barely below his crotch, but nothing about them and that moment was ordinary or usual. For the time being, he just wanted to make Squall feel better - nothing more, nothing less.

"Squall… I…"

Still, he was overcome by the urge to put his feelings into works. He wanted to tell him; for the first time in his life he felt like he couldn't bear the secret any longer, but somehow, he managed to bite it down yet again.

_ 'Don't scare him… don't scare him…' _

He tightened his embrace and breathed a soft kiss against the wet mop of hair. Squall was still rendered motionless at the contact, and Seifer could feel his stomach and chest rising in an anxious rhythm against his arms. The longer he held the brunette that way, the less he wanted to let go. He wondered how he had lived all his life without that intimacy, that gentle bodily contact. Instead, he had scarred the brunette so many times and slashed his marble skin down to the blood, as if mutilating Squall would have ever changed anything. In fact, his fingertips felt for a soft bump just above the SeeD's right hipbone that was a scar inflicted by the tip of Hyperion.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

Of course, Squall had to have been oblivious to the meaning of that apology, but Seifer didn't really want to elaborate. He just wanted to savor the moment, knowing only too well that physical proximity was a rather fragile concept where Squall Leonhart was concerned.

Indeed, he suddenly felt the body in his arms shifting. Squall wasn't exactly pulling away, but he broke into short, quick fits of tremors. It didn't take long before the matching sobs pressed past the Commander's lips and he erupted into tears once more. Squall had already had a hell of a time composing himself in Seifer's protective and… loving hug, but hearing those words from the blonde's mouth had broken all of his hastily slammed up defenses. For all he remembered, Seifer had never seriously apologized for anything, and yet there he was, whispering words that couldn't have sounded more sincere. He wasn't even sure what Seifer was apologizing for, or if he was truly apologizing at all, but he sounded like he genuinely cared, he _acted_ like he cared. It was a feeling so new and so overwhelming, that with all the emotional pain already leadening his soul, he couldn't hold back any longer.

Once more, Seifer found himself steadying Squall's worn out body. He could feel how the SeeD's legs gave in and buckled beneath him, and while making sure to grasp Squall securely, he lowered both of them to the bottom of the wet shower basin. The brunette was kneeling doubled over, hugging himself and crying uncontrollably while mumbling things that Seifer couldn't understand. The blonde mirrored his position and kneeled pasted against him, his arms firmly in place.

"Squall… it's okay… it's alright…"

He brought his head even closer to Squall's and rested his chin on top of the younger man's right shoulder. Finally, he could hear some of the seemingly senseless muttering that Squall pushed desperately into the waterfall.

"Why… why… they all… just... why... I can't... I can't stand it... everyone just leaves..."

Seifer shook his head immediately, even though Squall could only feel and not see the gesture.

"I'm right here, Squall. I'm not going anywhere."

"I… what… what did I do…"

"You didn't do anything, Squall, you hear me? You didn't do anything wrong."

"Why… she said she loved… me… she… _why_…"

For once, the tall blonde was at a loss for words. What was there to say? That Rinoa did love him but had chosen to betray him with his father? That Rinoa had never loved him in the first place? None of those options sounded too comforting in Seifer's ears. Finally, he chose to put all his love in one gentle motion and one gentle word as he folded his fingers softly against Squall's parted lips and placed the sweetest of kisses on a hardly noticeable scar between Squall's shoulder blades.

"Shhh."

He had found the right thing to say at last.

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To be continued!  
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howls like a siren fluff alert, fluff alert Heeheee. Yes, I know, Squall is quite the puppy, isn't he? Gosh he is helpless, I wouldn't be surprised if Seifer gets fed up with him soon. It's kinda cute, though Mister "I-don't-give-a-flying-beeeeeep" all little and helpless… Seifer to the rescue/jumps around in a superman cape/ Kyahaha!

Erh, getting a little carried away again, sorry! Another fluffy, angsty, weird sort of chapter. I hope you don't mind! Thanks for all the reviews for chapter 30, glad to see some people stuck with me and some new people showed up :)


	32. Here Always

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**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 32: "Here… Always"  
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Seifer had spent the following ten or fifteen minutes simply steadying Squall through flows of tears, choked whispers and frantic breathing. There wasn't much more for him to do than that. He didn't have much experience in comforting others, so he could only hope and pray that he was doing the right thing.

In the end, Squall's energy didn't last and he once again fell silent and calm in the blonde's strong embrace. Seifer remained motionless a little longer, his arms firmly locked around Squall's wet and shivering torso. Finally, he removed his head from the spot on the brunette's right shoulder that it had been resting on, and he withdrew his hands.

"Squall," he whispered softly through the water that had been running all throughout Squall's weeping, "Hey…"

With all the gentleness he could muster, he placed his hands against the rounds of his friend's shoulders and carefully maneuvered him with his back against the slippery walls. To his surprise, Squall didn't avoid eye contact but was in fact staring straight at him out of wide, tear-reddened pools of liquid steel. The glow that Seifer had noticed in them earlier was still there, and had in fact intensified. Like the setting sun reflecting in the still depths of a dust blue sea, Squall's eyes were glowing so enigmatically that it was starting to unsettle the blonde.

"Squall?"

He cocked his head and impatiently swiped away some droopy strands of hair that hung into his tanned face. Squall merely stared at him, his legs now drawn to his chest and his arms curled loosely about them. Seifer shifted his weight into a more comfortable position, not bothering much to retain at least some privacy. His sole concern was Squall, not how much of his privates the brunette could or could not see. It didn't look like his younger companion saw much in the first place, anyway. His eerie gaze was blank and out of focus.

"Squall?"

Hesitantly, Seifer wrapped one hand around Squall's chin and jaw, moving his head up as he carefully leaned into him to examine his friend's condition further. Squall's eyes did follow his movements, but the brunette remained silent. Just as Seifer's anxious face was only inches from Squall's, the younger suddenly broke his stupor and cocked his head aside too, mirroring the older's childishly curious expression.

"W-what the--!"

Seifer yanked his hand and face away immediately at the unexpected reaction and almost slipped on the wet tiles. Growling, he looked up at his friend, finding him in the same unusual position and sniffling rather noisily through his nose. He couldn't say what exactly was going on, but something was definitely not quite right.

After a brief struggle for his equilibrium, he kneeled down in front of the SeeD commander again and sighed.

"Man, you're one weird--"

And suddenly, it dawned him.

Immediately, his eyes squinted to slits of emerald green as his hand lashed back out and found the slicked skin of Squall's forehead. The brunette curiously rolled up his sight to watch what the blonde was doing to him, but it bounced back to Seifer himself the moment that the older broke out into an angry gush of curse words.

"Fuck! Fuck, you're such a fucking dumbass, Almasy!"

Still swearing, Seifer scrambled onto his feet with harsh, uncontrolled movements. Without hesitation, he bent down and pulled the sitting SeeD with him, ignoring Squall's perplexed protests. As soon as he was able to steady Squall with one arm and rest assured that he wouldn't slump down again right away, he used his other to turn off the stream of hot water.

"He-hey…" a croaky voice suddenly whispered with just the slighest shading of objection.

His head swiveled around to stare at Squall, who had wrapped his arms around his upper body and stood shivering while his lips were jutting into a pout like Seifer had never seen one before.

_ 'Oh my god... he's killing me.' _

"Squall, fuck, you've got a fever! You can't stay in the water."

The whole concept of a fever was apparently beyond the delirious boy's understanding, since there was no change in either his posture or his expression.

"C… cold."

"I know, I'm sorry. Just sit tight, I'll be right back, okay?"

Sighing (and flinching at the sting of cold air), Seifer jumped out of the shower. He let the curtain fall close behind him and grabbed a pair of towels. One he wrapped around his waist, the other, a particularly fluffy one, he unfolded and held in one hand. With his other, he drew aside the curtain, much to Squall's disapproval.

"I--"

"It's alright, just come here."

He spread the towel and curled it around Squall's slender frame, gently rubbing his arms and back. Squall was still pouting while he stepped outside the basin, but at least he willingly followed the blonde's directions.

"Come on."

As quickly as Squall's stumbling steps allowed, he led him into the bedroom and to the only dry bed that was left: Seifer's. The brunette's own was still damp from Squall laying on it, smelling faintly of rain and mud.

"Sit down."

Edgily, the young SeeD lowered himself onto the edge of the mattress, now clutching the towel tightly around his figure.

"Stay there. I'll be right back."

Seifer was sick of giving orders, but he was too mad at himself for his earlier case of slacking. He should've interpreted the signs better; staying in the hot shower for so long had probably only worsened Squall's condition. No wonder the brunette was acting like his former whiny five-year-old self; his temperature had to be sky rocketing high. Mentally and physically, Seifer wanted to hit himself up the head.

He returned to the bathroom and retrieved another towel, with which he started to rub Squall's hair and every part of his body that was not already covered. The brunette merely stared at him in fascination, every now and then stirred by a cough or a sneeze.

"Are you cold?" Seifer finally asked, while looking down upon the miserable heap.

"I… I don't know," Squall tried truthfully.

To Seifer, that was answer enough. The tall gunblader draped the extra towel around Squall's shoulders, then left to skim through his own dresser. He whipped up a large, heavy blue sweater, then left the drawers open and proceeded to Squall's closet, from which he retrieved a pair of thick, light grey shorts. Both items he handed to the watchful boy.

"Here, can you put these on? I need to get dressed, too."

Squall nodded, but looked down upon the clothes in his hand.

"This isn't mine…"

"I know that, but it's the warmest damn thing I have. Just put it on, you'll like it."

Finally, Squall complied and clumsily managed to slip into the shorts, while Seifer had turned around and put on a sweater and long running pants. Still frowning, he gathered all of their towels and returned them to the bathroom, where he picked up a fresh set, a bowl with cold water and Squall's extensive first aid kit. When he returned and cast a look at his companion, his frown immediately smoothed out at the sight of Squall sitting shyly on the corner of the bed in his much too large navy blue shirt. It was Seifer's favorite, terribly warm and cozy, and he didn't think that anyone could possibly look any cuter in it than the slender dark haired gunblader did.

"Silly…" he sighed softly, "Lay down, alright?"

While Squall heeded to the calm order instantly and slipped underneath the covers, Seifer placed the bowl with water on the nightstand and adjusted his focus back to his friend. The sheets were blood stained where Squall had grabbed them, leaving crimson spots on the silken white fabric. Seifer lowered himself onto the edge of the bed and flipped Squall's arms over, revealing the oozing cuts etched into the palms of his hands.

"I'll take care of those in a minute," he explained, more to himself than the other youth. "Your fever is more important for now."

Gently, he placed a towel each underneath the brunette's hands and bent down to retrieve a thermometer from the first aid case. After pushing a tiny button, he motioned Squall to open his mouth and slipped the thermometer underneath the gunblader's tongue. Mere seconds later, the device gave off a soft beep and Seifer took it again, studying the display anxiously.

"Fuck."

The fact that he read the blurry digits "41° C" did not appeal to the blonde at all. He had never treated a fever that high, and he wasn't entirely sure that he could. It was no surprise that Squall had practically been hallucinating, only because _he_ hadn't been paying any attention. After trying so hard to raise Squall's body temperature, he could now struggle to lower it again. It just didn't seem fair.

In his flaring fever, Squall completely misread the upset expression on Seifer's face and bit his lips painfully.

"I… I'm sorry…" he whispered, his voice dry and hoarse.

Seifer tore his gaze from the thermometer and stared at Squall in a blank.

"... What?"

"I'm sorry…"

The blonde groaned softly and placed the first aid kit aside. He grasped a wash cloth and dipped it into the bowl with chilled water, before placing it on Squall's forehead and zeroing his gaze in on the younger man's insecure eyes, which were probably drowning in the purest shade of blue that Seifer had ever seen them.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Squall," he smiled. "Just relax. It's fine."

He cracked a small smirk and shifted around slightly to retrieve some gauze, bandages and antiseptic cream. Ever so carefully, he started to clean Squall's wounds, applied the cream and skilfully wrapped the SeeD's almost translucent hands with the white bandages. By the time he was done, Squall looked very detached from reality again, as if floating somewhere between sleep and consciousness. Seifer pushed the thermometer underneath the boy's tongue once more, only to find out that his temperature hadn't changed. While renewing the cold cloths, Seifer started to consider waking doc Kadowaki and calling her for help. Admitting defeat would suck, but Squall was more important than his pride.

Nevertheless, he went through the first aid kit again in the vain hope of finding something remotely helpful, and he was delighted to find a bottle of pain killers that apparently also quenched fevers. Screwing up his face in concentration, he studied the label with directions.

_ 'Blabla… tablets… blabla… dilute with water… hn.' _

Squall watched dozily how his roommate sat up from the bed and disappeared into the kitchen. Seifer returned holding a glass with strangely cloudy water that was fizzing playfully when the blonde dipped it against the SeeD's lips.

"Here, drink this," Seifer said while steadying the glass against Squall's mouth. "Helps against the fever."

He slipped a hand underneath Squall's head and gently helped him into a more upright position. Gingerly, Squall drank in small gulps until he couldn't possibly take any more, and Seifer let him sink back into the pillows mercifully.

"How you feelin'?"

Seifer studied Squall's body, which was still shaking ever so slightly underneath the thin sheets. The glow hadn't yielded from his eyes and the fever was probably still raging, but the blonde didn't want Squall to be cold, either. Thus, he decided that another blanket would probably do no harm. He went to roam his friend's closet, returning triumphantly with two thick, quilted comforters.

"There, this'll keep ya warm."

He draped one of the comforters across the bed, watching with satisfaction how Squall's shivers lessened and his breathing smoothed into a more relaxed rhythm.

For a moment, Seifer considered pulling up a chair, but the idea of risking to crash out in one of Squall's narrow dining chairs didn't strike him as too smart. Scratching the back of his head, he lowered his gaze.

"You mind if I sit in bed with you?"

The brunette looked up at him and slowly shook his head from side to side, causing the wash cloth to slip off his forehead. Seifer chuckled and picked it up, returning it to the bowl with cold water once more. Meanwhile, Squall had adjusted his position in the bed and moved towards the wall, thus granting Seifer more space. The blonde acknowledged it with a touched smile and sat down on the mattress. He leaned against the headrest, then brought his legs up as well. His naked feet had gotten quite chilly, and with a rough inner jolt, Seifer suddenly realized that Squall was pushing his comforter earnestly across his legs. Sure, Squall was in fever and probably had _no_ idea of just what he was doing there, but all the same, Seifer almost melted on the spot. Eyes wide like large jade green gems, he forgot all about the second blanket he had brought and instead savored how Squall very hesitantly and unobtrusively snuggled closer against him underneath their covers.

"That comfortable for ya?" he finally asked, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Hnn…"

"Good."

Still smiling, he wrung the cold cloth and placed it back over Squall's forehead. The dark haired SeeD closed his eyes with a subdued sigh and moaned something that Seifer couldn't quite understand, but he sorted it into his category of mute "Leonhart Thank You's" all the same.

When Squall's shivers finally ebbed away, Seifer was admittedly relieved. He kept renewing the cold cloths until he was almost sure that the brunette had drifted off into sleep. Very slowly, while trying to keep their bed from dipping, he reached for the thermometer once more and stuck it underneath Squall's limp tongue. Much to his satisfaction, he noted that the SeeD's temperature had dropped a full two degrees. Still, he went through the same cycle for a good further hour or so, until the brunette's fever had finally broken.

It wasn't until then that he realized how incredibly tired his body was, and he couldn't suppress a yawn.

Gently, Seifer removed the wash cloth from Squall's head, dried off the last droplets of water that slicked his skin and thumbed the button next to his nightstand that turned off the lights.

In the darkness, Seifer slid low beneath the covers and allowed his body to lie down instead of sitting up, like he had been doing for the past two hours or more. His muscles were sore and aching, but the feeling of Squall's supple frame pushing against his own and the soothing rhythm that the brunette's chest was rising to made it all worth his while. Taking care of Squall Leonhart was a good piece of work, but no efforts had ever felt worthier. Gently, Seifer ran a hand through the brunette's velvety mess of hair, then snaked his arm across his back and pulled him closer, which Squall acknowledged with a sleepy moan.

"Good night," the blonde murmured softly.

While Squall nuzzled into him, Seifer prayed silently that the man he loved would not be plagued by any nightmares that night. But if all his prayers would vanish unheard, he wouldn't even hesitate a second. He would get up and care for Squall all the same.

Tonight and always.

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To be continued!  
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Ohhhh my… that took, like, FOREVER! I am so, so, SOOO sorry! I have been busy and distracted these past weeks, I just couldn't get myself to sit down and write! I was on vacation for a month, I got married XD so, yes, lots of other things occupying the small space behind my forehead… again, I really apologize! I hope I'll be able to update more often again, so to all those that stuck with me, I promise I'll be better.


	33. Of Knights and Demons

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** Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 33: "Of Knights and Demons"  
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For the first time since they had moved together, Seifer had awoken before Squall had. Tickled by the early morning rays of sunshine and something soft rubbing against the bottom of his nose, Seifer's golden features scrunched together and he opened his eyes lazily.

At first, he couldn't quite explain the feeling of something warm and... _alive_ pressing against him, but he soon realized that the body next to him and the hair in his face belonged to none other than Squall Leonhart, who was sound asleep at his side. Blinking, Seifer scooted away only far enough to be able to cast a good look at the sleeping brunette's face, and he thoroughly enjoyed the pleasant sight. Squall was beautiful even with bed hair, chafed lips, feeble blue shadows under his eyes and bandaged hands, one of which was actually draped across Seifer's chest rather possessively.

Smiling, Seifer turned onto his side, facing Squall. He supported his head with his left arm elbowed into the mattress, while his right hand haphazardly smoothed back his ruffled, gold blonde hair to clear his sight. Then, he carefully placed that hand against Squall's forehead, reassuring himself that the brunette was definitely okay. The SeeD's forehead felt quite cool, but Squall immediately stirred at the physical contact.

With interest, Seifer studied the way that Squall woke up, too enthralled to remember the last time that the dark haired boy had awoken next to him and reacted in plain panic. The way that Squall's ivory lids peeled open and revealed a vortex of blue and grey colors pulled Seifer into a spell that he could impossibly oppose. Then again, he wasn't exactly trying very hard, either.

Squall blinked against the blurriness of sleep a couple of times, before his vacant gaze finally connected with Seifer's. The blonde could feel the younger's body jolt ever so slightly underneath the covers, but the SeeD commander said or did nothing further. He was merely lying there, motionless, staring into jade green depths that were full of warmth and care and the slightest glint of spunk.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

By the way that Squall's adam's apple was moving, Seifer could tell that he was swallowing hard.

"How are ya feelin'?"

Squall's eyes were still glued to Seifer's face in poorly hidden confusion and fright, but he did manage to nod slowly. He was still feeling sick, his throat thick and coated and his head heavy, but those feelings seemed so vague and surreal when looking at Seifer.

"What about your hands?"

The brunette raised both of his bandaged hands to his eyes and looked at them as if he had just awoken from an age old dream. Slowly, the memories came seeping back to him... memories of pain and betrayal. As the agony surged through him anew, his frail body started to quiver.

Immediately, Seifer's features darkened and his hand reached out for Squall's. Gently, he folded them together and covered them with his own, holding them and steadying them while Squall couldn't tear his gaze away, his inner eye locked onto the sight of Rinoa and his father, kissing - an image that had burnt itself into his mind forever.

"Squall, listen. _Listen_."

Seifer shook his head and moved his hand to Squall's jaw to tilt the brunette's face towards himself.

"It's gonna be okay. I won't let anybody hurt you again, you understand?"

The brunette's eyes widened noticeably, and he swallowed again.

"Seifer…" Squall managed to choke, his voice still rasp from slumber.

A smile curled the blonde man's lips, and he nodded.

"You know I keep my word. They didn't call me the sorceress _knight_ for no reason."

Squall's brows slanted, and Seifer couldn't help but laugh.

"You know, your face switches expressions so fucking fast, if I wouldn't know any better I'd swear you were a fucking chameleon."

Squall's nose crumpled in disapproval, but he wasn't capable of shooting the other any death glares. Not while they were lying in one bed, underneath the same covers. Not while Seifer was looking at him out of those damned green eyes that were deep enough to drown in. Not while his hand…

The young commander paused. Before then, he hadn't truly realized that Seifer's hand was still cupping the side of his jaw, and that Seifer's thumb was caressing his cheek almost lovingly. His breath jarring in his throat, he wanted to say something, _anything_, but there was nowhere near enough oxygen in his lungs to press out even the smallest of sounds.

"What, Squall?" Seifer asked softly, all the while continuing to stroke Squall's skin.

For a moment, Squall felt very dizzy. His head was light and spinning like a carousel. Seifer was there, he was… _still_ there. He had held him the night before, Squall could remember that much. He had found him in the woods, when he had been all alone, and he had stayed with him. All that time he hadn't left him once. And his touch felt so good that it scared him.

"Sei…"

He couldn't. As much as he wanted to ask what it meant, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was too afraid to be hurt, too afraid to lose something that, realistically, he couldn't even call his own yet. Everything in his life that he had ever had, everything that had ever meant something, he had lost at one point or another. He had lost his mother Raine, his sis Ellone, Rinoa, Laguna, LionHeart… Seifer…

He stopped. Yes, he had lost Seifer. Or had he? In the end, Seifer had returned, and the months that he hadn't been around seemed to have melted into nothingness, their importance so feeble that Squall couldn't even remember what he had done during that time. And Seifer had returned LionHeart to him also, found it somehow, somewhere. For some reason, Seifer was always there and the key to everything… everything that Squall had ever wanted, yet had never dared to ask for.

What_ did_ he want? A rival? A friend? A lover? He couldn't force himself to admit that maybe, just maybe, there was something that he wanted from Seifer. Something that only the blonde was able to give. Something that only the blonde could _take_.

Squall's features hardened. He didn't want anything that he could lose again any day. He didn't want to be hurt any more. No matter what Seifer possibly had to offer, it wasn't going to last. Sooner or later, it would fade away, just like everything else, and he would be all alone again.

But even so, he was unable to withdraw. For the first time in his life, he felt helpless, motionless, directionless. Deep down, he didn't care if Seifer was going to just up and leave him forever, if only he would look at him just one more time and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Seifer was so full of life, hope and love, and the spirit shining in his eyes so bright and warm that Squall was afraid to be burned by the heat.

"Squall… I…"

Seifer's hand had stopped stroking his friend's cheek, and instead, he was running his fingertips from Squall's temple across his jaw line, softly tracing the porcelain skin to the pale red lips where his fingers lingered, touching ever so lightly, afraid to break the vulnerable soul that was at his mercy alone.

"I…"

Squall's breath was heavy, yet flat at the same time. His eyes were fixed upon Seifer, deepest blue shining through a cloudy net of grey. Pushing his breath past Seifer's fingers, he wondered what the other man's lips felt like, if they were warm or cold, soft or rigid. He wanted to know, but he was too scared to find out. The more he wanted it, the greater his fears grew, demons so dark and strong that they threatened to devour anything that could possibly have a meaning.

Squall flinched.

Seifer removed his hand immediately, but he let it rest against the angle of Squall's jaw, close to his ear. At the sight of hurt passing through Squall's eyes, he didn't know what to think anymore. Was Squall hurt because he had moved his hand, or because he was still touching him? Was he _ever_ going to find out? He was starting to harbor serious doubts.

"Squall--"

Before he could say anything further, they were harshly interrupted by a few sharp thuds against their apartment door, which caused both of them to jerk.

"The fuck…" Seifer growled as he retracted his hand and rolled out of bed.

Squall watched how Seifer stumbled to the door, barefoot and more than just slightly disheveled. One could tell with ease that Seifer had had a rough night. A wave of guilt surged through the brunette, and his cheeks reddened.

_ 'Why am I always such a burden…?' _

To make matters worse, his nose suddenly tingled uncomfortably, causing him to sneeze loudly. He caught a glimpse of Seifer whirling around, his emerald eyes glowing with concern. Squall waved dismissively and flipped over onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillows. He had no interest in seeing who was at the door, much less to talk with them. Folding his arms over the back of his head, he tried to block out as much of reality as he could.

Seifer watched the younger turn away and respected his wish. He hadn't planned on letting anyone bug Squall in the first place. Whoever was at the door would just have to suck it up and make a swift retreat.

He slipped into a pair of his boots resting next to the door, before he thumbed the 'open' key, crossed his arms in front of his chest and slanted his face, deliberately trying to look intimidating.

Squall was still burying his conscience in the heap of his arms and his pillows, but he couldn't ignore the violent shout that suddenly pierced the silence.

"YOU!"

_ WHAM. _

"Get the FUCK outta here!"

Alarmed, the brunette struggled free and rose to his lower arms as quickly as he could, his head whipping around to see what the heck his roommate was doing.

"Seifer, what…"

He could not finish his sentence. Towering in the doorway was Seifer, his hands curled to angrily trembling fists as he stood above a thunderstruck heap cowering on the floor. Squall wasn't sure if he could trust his eyes, but if he could, then Seifer had just knocked down the president of Esthar.

His father.

"You have no fucking right to be here! Get lost before I mount your face to the fucking wall!"

Nausea spread all throughout Squall's body. His father was sitting on the floor, his long indigo black hair in a pony tail that had been jammed out of place, while he was holding one side of his face with a rather pain ridden expression. Seifer was raging, his breath quick-paced and heavy, his stance aggressive, making it perfectly clear that he was ready to strike again if need be.

"I just wanted to--" Laguna Loire started weakly, but was cut short by Seifer slamming his hand into the doorframe.

"Shove it, alright! Nobody gives a fuck! Get out! _GET OUT!_"

Squall watched in disbelief how his father scrambled to his feet and cast a last wry, almost pleading look at his son.

"Squall--"

"I swear I'll break your jaw, Loire! Leave him the fuck alone! You've hurt him enough!"

After a second that seemed like a minute, Laguna finally turned around and disappeared from Squall's field of vision. Instead, the brunette could watch how Seifer tried to regain his composure, panting and swearing under his breath. Using his left hand he punched the lock button to the apartment door, then turned around to Squall.

They stared at each other, quietly and motionless. Squall's eyes were wide in shock, while Seifer's had narrowed dangerously. Very slowly, the blonde relaxed his muscles and the lethal frown on his face smoothed out. Sighing, he dropped his head.

"This is getting better and better…" he snarled bitterly, then approached the bed.

_ "Seifer!" _

He looked up to find Squall gasping and staring at some point on his body. Tracing his line of sight, Seifer found the cause of his chocolate haired companion's uproar. His right hand, which he had fisted into the doorway, was sporting some lovely cuts along the knuckles, oozing blood all over his fingers.

Squall kneeled on the mattress, biting down the pain that was jabbing inside his head at the unwelcome movement. His body hurt and his mind was still working on processing what had just happened, but the sight of blood on Seifer's hand worried him more than anything else did. The painful image of his father was simply effaced from his mind.

The blonde walked over to him, making sure that he wasn't dribbling onto the floor, before he sat down and grabbed one of the previous night's towels, pressing it against the wounds. It stung, but he was more curious to cast a look at Squall, who had fixed him with eyes blue like the sea, radiating concern and confusion.

"It's nothing, kiddo," he joked, cracking a smile. "Doesn't even hurt."

It was a blatant lie and Squall knew it, too, as he cocked his head aside and frowned. Then he sneezed again, and Seifer broke into a fit of laughter, before the pain in his hand called him back to reality despite Squall's cuteness. Flexing his fingers, he tested for any broken bones, but it seemed alright enough. Next to him, Squall started coughing again.

"You caught a good cold there yesterday," Seifer mused, before he himself sneezed loudly all across the bed.

"So did you."

Squall didn't smile, but Seifer thought that he saw something glinting playfully in the depths of his eyes. There was pain, too, though he was trying to hide it.

_ 'Can't let him think about it.' _

"Ya, well... Anyway. You snore."

Chuckling over Squall's murderous expression at the unexpected comment, he peeled the towel from his skin and applied some antiseptics from the first aid case.

"Whatever," the brunette snorted.

"No, for real - you don't need a gunblade, you could snore people to death."

"Drop dead then!" Squall huffed, while whipping his head away defiantly.

Seifer smiled, but said nothing as he was wrapping his hand with a bandage. His expression softened as he looked over to his grouchy bed- and roommate, and he motioned him to move downwards.

"Lay back down again," he murmured. "I'm still tired."

Squall swallowed hard at the gentleness of the order and the unfamiliar glow in Seifer's eyes. He was scared alright, but why couldn't he resist? Why was it all so difficult? He had years of practise in pushing people away. Why did he feel so helpless? He could have gotten up and left easily despite his condition, but there was just one problem…

He didn't _want_ to.

Very slowly, he crawled back underneath the blankets, his muscles stiff and his heart aching. He was nervous. His stomach tingled, longing for something that Squall neither understood, nor could really place his finger on.

Seifer toed off his boots before slipping into bed, carefully ensuring to lie close to Squall, touching him gently without jarring him.

"Turn over," he whispered close to Squall's ear.

Again, the brunette had no means of objecting. He was rendered without any apparent will of his own… or maybe Seifer just knew exactly what Squall wanted, but was too intimidated to put into words?

Either way, the younger gunblader turned onto his left side mechanically, afraid and anticipating at the same time. When he felt Seifer's body spooning against his, he let out a shocked hiss of air.

"Shhh…"

Seifer curled his right arm across Squall's side loosely, grasping the brunette's bandaged right hand with his hurt own and placing both of them against Squall's chest, which was rising at a nervous and far too quick pace.

"Relax."

Smiling, he nuzzled his face into Squall's hair.

"It's just me."

When he finally felt the stiff body go slack in his arms, Seifer tightened his embrace.

"Get some more sleep… Squall."

_ 'I'll be here… watching over you. So don't be afraid… because I love you.' _

And as Squall eased into the embrace, the memory of his pain was swept away, turning into nothing but a quickly fading dream of the past. He had been given the only true protection against fear and famished demons - the only thing that had managed to shatter his own useless means of shielding his vulnerable soul.

The one thing he had never thought himself worthy of.

The love of a knight.

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**To be continued!  
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Kyahahahahahahaha - long live the mush!

:3


	34. To Be Able to Love

** Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 34: To Be Able to Love

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They hadn't been sleeping for long before their slumber was once again interrupted. Semi-somnolent, Seifer could feel the body in his arms stir, and soon thereafter he heard the soft buzzing of the doorbell.

"S… someonesgonnadie…"

Sluggishly, he peeled one eyelid open, quickly catching onto the sight of a softly moving Squall.

"You…s-s-staythere… berightback…"

His tongue seemed to be moving more subconsciously than not, but it did settle the brunette figure in his embrace. Unfortunately, Seifer had to break free, as another buzz from the door painfully reminded him.

"Yes… Iseedeadpeople…"

Growling, he removed his arm from Squall's side and scrambled into a seating position. Blinking, he sat still for a moment, looking down upon the SeeD whose back he had been spooning. Squall didn't turn around, and the blonde started to wonder whether he had already gone back to sleep.

Seifer had already forgotten all about the door, when another buzz, probably the fifteenth in a row, called him to attention again. He didn't know what time it was, and frankly he didn't care, but the prospect of another visitor didn't exactly raise his spirits. Then again, the possible chance of getting to whack the living daylights out of Laguna Loire once more, granted that he was actually stupid enough to return, made the entire concept of dragging himself out of bed a lot more appealing.

Thus, he lifted himself up and even remembered to slip into his boots, which were still resting at the foot of the bed. He couldn't be found smacking the hell out of the world's most powerful politician being barefoot, that just wouldn't work.

After casting a last, longing look at the motionless body draped beautifully into the covers, he tore himself away and slumped towards the door. Luckily, the way was just long enough for him to wake just a few more of his senses and actually gain some control over his tongue. With a menacing frown plastered across his face, he hit the door button and carefully positioned himself right in the center of the opening.

"Didn't think I'd get another face remodelling request so…"

He stopped.

"…soon."

As the door hissed open, his languid green eyes fell onto the least wanted and expected sight of a slender, long haired brunette in a pair of white pants, a white shirt and a floor length blue wool cardigan. The girl was looking at him cautiously out of velvety brown eyes, and she immediately raised one arm in a calming and defensive gesture.

"Sei…"

He didn't let her finish.

"What do you think_ you _are doing here?" he hissed, still slightly taken aback by the unexpectedness of laying eyes upon Squall's and his ex-girlfriend, Rinoa Heartilly.

_ 'To punch or not to punch, that is the question…' _

As he was still coldly musing over whether it was appropriate or not to hit a girl, though obviously a pretty stupid one at that, she had already grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room with the advantage of surprise. Startled, his head flung around, only to watch the door close behind himself, as he had left the laser checked field that was responsible for keeping it from shutting automatically.

"What the fuck!"

She let go off him immediately, retreating ever so slightly before she scrunched her eyebrows and folded one finger in front of her mouth in a silencing gesture.

"Don't be so loud!"

Enraged, he almost slammed his hand into the nearest wall, but fortunately refrained from doing so as he recalled his earlier and rather painful injury. Instead, he glared at Rinoa with the most virulent green gaze that he could conjure up.

"That's great, guess who's gonna have to get up and open the door now to let me back in!"

She removed the finger from her mouth, looking somewhat contrite as she did so.

"I know, sorry. I need to talk to you, though."

"Well guess what, I ain't interested in talking to_ you _though!"

"Will you just_ listen_ to me for a moment? It's really important, you know!"

Placing her hands on her hips, she almost reminded him of Squall when he was frustrated, but he pushed that thought away quickly, as it did nothing to keep up his personification of pure menace.

"What you consider important or not frankly concerns me even less than a wart on Loire's ass!"

Rinoa frowned, and for a girl she did manage to actually look somewhat threatening, but after a few seconds of glaring at her bulky blonde opposite, she merely sighed and lowered her head.

"Look, I know you're mad, okay? You really have all reason to be."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"But… please, just talk to me, okay? I'm not here to yell at you for punching Laguna, I need to talk to you about Squall."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to conceal as much of his interest as he could.

"What could_ you_ possibly have to say that I would give more than a flying fuck about?"

"Just… walk with me for a bit, this isn't the best spot to be having a talk."

She pointed down the hallway, to a set of tables and chairs that had been arranged in the dormitory's common room.

"How about over there?"

Scowling at the idea of being in closer proximity than a mile to the girl that he despised so much, it took quite a bit for Seifer to finally nod and follow Rinoa down to a secluded corner in the empty hall. They sat down across from each other at a table, just staring at each other in silence before the brunette female crossed her arms and lowered her head.

"I'm really sorry."

Seifer arched an eyebrow, surprised by her open display of regret, but that didn't smother his anger the least bit.

"Don't tell me, tell Squall. He's the one you almost drove over the edge."

"I know, and I… I wish things would have been different, you see… I really made a mistake."

"No shit, you dumped him to take off with me and then you have the guts to date his fucking father, like hell Rinoa, I know you ain't the brightest chicken in the flock, but what the fuck were you thinking showing up here?" he snapped, being deliberately offensive.

She looked slightly hurt, of course, but to the blonde's surprise she managed to swallow her pride and smiled sadly.

"It's more complicated than that," she whispered.

"I doubt that."

"What I did to Squall was a mistake, I realize that now, but you don't understand what I was coming from back then. Of course… that doesn't justify my actions, either."

Rinoa started to play with her hair, obviously embarrassed, and maybe even slightly ashamed of herself. Seifer, however, felt no compassion for her whatsoever. Seeing her suffer almost raised his spirits to a new level of blissfulness.

"I should have never lied to him and hooked up with you," she continued.

"Then why did you do it anyway?"

"Because I was frustrated, and I was hurt."

"Well isn't that a bitch, see what I care," he snorted.

She sighed again.

"I understand that you're upset, I really do. Just let me explain please, okay?"

The blonde shrugged. He really couldn't care less what the girl had to say, and he had no interest in lighting her guilty conscience or listening to her whining either, but maybe he'd find out something new after all. Even for someone like her, her actions seemed exceptionally ruthless and stupid.

"When I met you in Timber that day, I really was in a bad state of mind. I wasn't there to visit my old friends like I had told you, I had been on my way to my father's in Deling City. Squall was supposed to follow me a few days later, but… I had realized that things between him and I would never work out."

"So you lied to him and dumped him."

Her face contorted painfully, but she nodded, which resulted in Seifer snorting disdainfully.

"I was really hurt, Seifer. Maybe you don't believe me, but I really did love Squall. I was crazy about him, but he was always so… cold."

She waved her hand through the air in a vague gesture, and for a moment, Seifer found himself understanding what she was saying, before calling himself to mind what Rinoa had done.

"He was trying, I know that. For a while, I thought it was going to work, but somehow he never really seemed happy around me."

"Geez, I wonder why."

Rinoa did a tremendous job at sucking up Seifer's sarcasm, he had to give her that. The fact that she didn't really react to his insults somehow made the whole concept seem superfluous.

"He never… not once… told me that he loved me."

Now that did surprise Seifer. Sure, Squall wasn't exactly known to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he had expected a little more emotion than that, particularly considering how happy he had seemed on their parting day in Esthar.

"At first it didn't bother me so much, but after a few months it was starting to eat away on my confidence into our relationship. He was always busy and seemed to avoid me, and when he did spend time with me I felt like he was just fulfilling a mission or a chore. It… didn't make me feel very good."

"Then why didn't you tell him?"

"I couldn't, I didn't have the guts to. I was hoping that somehow… everything would turn out alright. But it didn't."

Her face darkened, and her lips grew thinner, but she smiled, sadly somehow.

"One night, I couldn't sleep, so I went into his room. I crawled into bed with him and tried to, you know, curl up to him. He must have been dreaming, or something, because he was talking in his sleep…"

_ 'This might be interesting after all…' _

Seifer tried to look indifferent, but there was a glint of curiosity that lit up in his eyes nonetheless, and Rinoa tilted her head.

"He was whimpering somebody's name… it didn't really catch me by surprise, but it really hurt nonetheless."

"Somebody's name?"

"Yes… somebody_ else's_ name," she whispered after a pregnant pause.

"You left him because he was mumbling someone's name in his _sleep_? Hyne, you're fucked up."

"That's not really it. I had seen signs before that should have told me that his heart was really with somebody else, but I didn't want to acknowledge them. After that night, though, it had all become impossible to ignore."

Seifer started to chew on the bottom of his lip. He was dying to ask whose name Squall had been saying, but an open display of interest just didn't seem too wise to him at that point. For some reason, he had the feeling that Rinoa wasn't going to tell him either way.

"That was a few days before I left for Deling City. I asked Squall to come with me, but he said he couldn't. He said he'd follow me later. Then… when he took me to the train in Balamb… I told him again that I loved him, but he just didn't say anything. He looked so… uncomfortable and embarrassed… it made me sick."

A frown slanted her delicate features at the memory, but she managed to shake it off quickly.

"I was crying all the way from Balamb to Timber, I was so hurt and upset. I really, really did love him, and I just wanted him to love me, too!"

Her eyes looked sincere as she was gluing her gaze to Seifer's, and the blonde gulped dryly. He couldn't deny that he understood how she felt, as much as that thought bugged him.

"By the time I arrived in Timber, I was really more angry than hurt. Then… when I saw you there… I did something I shouldn't have. I took revenge…"

"Revenge?"

"Yes. You see… I had wanted something for so long… I had wanted him to love me… but I just couldn't have it. I never even came close to getting it, I think. Then, when I saw you, I knew that you were the only person I could use to have the perfect revenge. The _only_ person."

There was a certain gravity in her voice and an urgency in her eyes, but Seifer didn't notice it. He was too busy fuming over the fact that he had, once again, served as somebody's tool.

"You_ used_ me for your revenge on Squall!"

"Yes, and it was wrong, I know that! But… it was all a chain of unfortunate coincidences… I never thought that I would…"

She paused.

"You were there, and you were perfect for making Squall feel miserable. I knew somebody would see me with you and he would find out, so I didn't even have to tell him. I just lied."

"Why me?"

Her eyes widened, and she looked at him quietly for a moment.

"You really don't know, do you?" she asked gently.

"Know _what_? What are you talking about?"

"You see, I wanted Squall so badly, but I couldn't have him. I knew that by being with you, I would have something that… that Squall…"

Seifer waited impatiently while she was desperately searching for words to say, but in the end, she remained silent.

"That_ what_?" he hissed with annoyance, rolling his eyes and jamming his fist onto the table.

Rinoa flinched, and bit her lip. Suddenly, her gaze drifted off into the distance.

"Seifer, why did you hook up with me back then?"

"I don't know," he lied, frustrated over the fact that she was changing the subject.

Of course, he knew exactly why he had started to date the girl back then. He had known only too well that he would never be able to have Squall, so the idea of having his ex-girlfriend instead didn't seem so entirely bad. In some sick and twisted way, it made him feel closer to Squall than anything else he had ever been able to think of.

"You know very well," she stated plainly, "I think we both kind of used each other."

"Bullshit," he snarled.

"Either way… I used my knowledge of Squall and his one vulnerable spot against him, and I feel sorry for it now. I should have never done that. I was hurting him in more ways than just one. I was just… so bitter… because I loved him and his heart was not with me, no matter how hard I tried."

"He loved you," Seifer said reluctantly, "Why else would he have been so devastated?"

"If you can't figure that out for your own, then it's not my place to tell you. I do know that Squall cared for me, but he never loved me. It made me bitter, and I hurt him, but I'm not going to hurt him any further."

"Fuck, you're seeing his fucking_ father_!"

"I know, and I really didn't mean to hurt his feelings by doing so, but there was no way around it. I truly love Laguna, he's everything I ever desired in a man, and I know that he loves me back because he shows me in everything that he does and says."

"He's old enough to be _your_ father, too, ya know."

"That's irrelevant. He makes me happy. That's what really matters. _You_ should know that you can't always stick to conformities if you want to find happiness."

"What are you saying?" he asked, shadowing his voice with a mute threat.

"I know more about you than you might think."

"You don't know jack shit!"

She shrugged.

"It's fine with me, anyway. I'm happy with Laguna."

"He doesn't exactly seem to be very bright, considering he brought you along when his son is feeling happily suicidal."

"Well, he wanted to leave me in Esthar, but I can't stay behind when I know that Squall is feeling the way he is because of me. It really is mostly my fault. You're right though, we shouldn't have put up such a public display of affection, I wasn't thinking."

_ 'Ain't that a surprise.' _

Biting down the sarcastic comment on his tongue without really knowing why, he watched how Rinoa suddenly retrieved something from the pocket of her cardigan. Extending her slender arm, she carefully placed it in front of Seifer in her open palm.

It was a ring.

"Here, I want you to give that back to him."

The blonde took it from her and examined it more closely. It was Squall's ring, the gleaming silver one with the lion's emblem that he had owned for quite a few years already. Somehow, Seifer had never noticed that the brunette hadn't been wearing it anymore.

"Why don't you give it to him yourself?"

"I don't think that that would be a good idea."

_ 'Wow, maybe she has a brain somewhere in there after all.'_ He thought, studying Rinoa's skull with interest.

"Aside from that… I think there is no better fit person to give that to him than you."

Seifer looked at her wryly.

"What makes ya say that?"

"You'll find out eventually… I hope."

"Why'd ya bring me out here when you're only talking in fucking riddles anyway?" he growled in exasperation.

"I'm really not."

"Whatever."

She giggled light-heartedly at the trademark Squall Leonhart comment that left Seifer's lips, before she ultimately grew serious again.

"Seifer, whatever you think Squall feels towards you, you're wrong. Trust me on that."

Suddenly, she stood up from her seat, still slightly smiling, and for some reason there was wisdom in her deep brown eyes that Seifer had never noticed before. Her smile broadened, and she smoothed back her long, sleek hair.

"I will always care for you and Squall. I really hope that you can turn things around… somehow…"

"What do you mean?" he sighed again.

"You know exactly what I mean. Maybe Squall doesn't know yet, or more likely, he is denying it… but _you_ know."

"I swear you aren't making any sense."

"I think you're making it more complicated than it really is. Just look at him. If I noticed it, then so should you. You'll understand everything eventually, Seifer. At least I hope so. For your sake… and for Squall's."

She walked around the table and stopped next to Seifer, who was still sitting in his chair, clasping Squall's ring with one hand and looking more than just slightly confused. Bending forward, she placed a tiny kiss on the blonde's cheek and smiled.

"Bye Seifer… and good luck."

He was still sitting in that chair even long after she had waved good bye and her shadow had melted with the distance, leaving him with nothing but questions, memories and vague assumptions, and maybe… just maybe… the knowledge of finally having understood.

.  
.  
.

** To be continued!**

**

* * *

**

Taada! No smacking the Rhino after all, sorry folks. I know, it was tempting, believe me. But I don't think Seifer would actually be found hitting a girl, he's more gentleman than that. So, I hope this actually made sense to some of you, since I did put some thought into it :) I didn't plan on Laguna and Rinoa having a bigger role in this story, but she did have to explain her actions. Hope it was somewhat believable :) And Seifer is soooo slow in the head, isn't he?


	35. The Fall of the Ice Prince

** ~Let Me Make It Alright~ **

Chapter 35: The Fall of the Ice Prince 

++++++++++++++ 

"Seifer? Seifer?" __

'Just why…' 

"Seifer Almasy!" 

Startled, Seifer jumped and almost toppled head first out of his chair, as the voice that his musings had drowned out until then was cutting sharply into his conscience at last. Haphazardly raking together his senses, he whipped around and stared straight into the curiously furrowed faces of Doc Kadowaki and Quistis Trepe. Both stood slightly bent over next to him, eyeing him in what almost seemed like concern over his sanity. 

"Are you awake?" the tall blonde girl asked intrigued, whilst looking at him as if he was some sort of weird insect. 

Seifer rubbed the slightly dishevelled back of his head, while semi-consciously concealing the small piece of jewelry in the depths of his fist. Just how long had he been spacing out in the common room already? What time was it? What time had Rinoa interrupted him to begin with? 

He was starting to develop a headache. 

"Yeah," he grunted in exasperation. 

"Didn't look like it." 

He scowled at her, not really in the right mood for typical Quistis asperity. Next to her, the doctor had straightened up and was studying the young man with subtle interest. 

"How are you feeling, Seifer?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Good. And how is Squall?" 

Seifer could see how the expression on Quistis' face changed and something oddly similar to pain lit up in her eyes. Of course, he knew that the SeeD instructor had always been rather fond of the brunette war prodigy, even during their time as students. He had never been quite sure of how deep her interest ran, but judging by her slanted features, she was rather upset over Squall's condition. Then again, who wasn't? 

"He's alright. He caught a cold last night, but other than that he's okay," Seifer shrugged. 

The blonde saw no need in laying out to them exactly _how_ bad the previous evening had been. That memory was between him and Squall and nobody else, until the brunette would decide to share it. 

Unfortunately, though, Quistis appeared unwilling to content herself with as little information as that. 

"What happened out there, Seifer? Why was he bleeding?" 

He leaned back in his chair ever so slightly, a certain dominance mingled with a mute threat now flowing into his brilliantly green eyes. 

"You were the one that paraded around with Rinoa and Squall's father at her hand; what do you _think_ happened, Trepe?" 

There was a calm menace about him, typical for predators and so intimidating that it unsettled even Quistis' cool. 

"I… I didn't know… I mean, what was I supposed to…" 

He stood up roughly, minding neither her nor the doctor having to scoot out of his way. 

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he hissed contemptuously. 

"Seifer." 

At the commanding sound of Kadowaki's voice, he turned around reluctantly. 

"What happened there last night was very unfortunate. Nobody here was able to predict such developments in Laguna Loire's private life. All we can do now is help Squall recover and prevent any more damage." 

"That's why," Quistis continued slightly more confident, "The President and Rinoa are going to leave tonight. They understand that their presence is not aiding Squall's recovery at the moment." 

"Wisdom struck them a little late," Seifer snarled sarcastically. 

"Yes, but better late than never," the doctor interrupted, "Seifer, do you still feel up to the task of helping Squall?" 

The blonde shifted slightly. 

What an entirely ridiculous question. 

"Of course I do," he huffed. 

"Good. I trust your medical capabilities concerning colds and basic flesh wounds, but I would like to see Squall nonetheless. Not tonight though, it's getting a little late, and since you assured us that he is doing well I think this can wait another day." 

Judging by Quistis' face, Seifer knew immediately that the instructor was disappointed. She had probably been dying to see Squall and interrogate him about the night's events. He frowned. Why was everybody too dim to see that Squall didn't need people fussing and asking questions that only ended up troubling him even more? 

Either way, it didn't matter. He had let them hurt Squall once, to an extent to where the fragile brunette had almost committed suicide. The like was not going to happen again, he was going to make sure of that, even if it involved having to hurl every single idiot out of their apartment by brute force. Squall needed peace, and Seifer was going to make sure that he'd get it… by _any_ means necessary. 

Suddenly, he remembered something else. 

"My punishment," he started slowly, "What's going to happen?" 

"I talked to Cid and Edea about that," Kadowaki answered, while throwing an implacable side glance at the scowling woman at her side, "The jeep that you took has been found outside the Garden facilities, and even though we very much disapprove of your means, we believe that Squall is only safe thanks to your quick actions. So… we decided to exempt you from any further punishment. You suffer with Squall more than any of us, and he needs you now." 

Seifer nodded absent-mindedly, both relieved and taken aback at the same time. Had they even heard about him punching the president of Esthar? He was admittingly surprised that neither Quistis nor the doctor had mentioned it, but he'd be damned before bringing the subject up himself. 

"Thank you," he mumbled under his breath. 

Sybil Kadowaki smiled ever so slightly, before suddenly putting a hand on his shoulder. Confused, he lowered his gaze to the smaller woman. He had never quite noticed how very old and wise her eyes looked, yet all the while warm and comforting. For just the glimpse of a second, he wondered if that was the way a mother looked at her children. 

He wouldn't know, either way. 

"Seifer," she tore him out of his dark musings, "Take care of Squall, but don't forget about yourself, either, do you hear me? You look pale. I think you underestimate Squall's strength. He needs you, but he can do without your assistance for a few hours, too." 

_ 'Maybe you** overestimate** his strength.' _

In his eyes, she saw how that thought crossed his mind, but she said nothing, and neither did Seifer. As she removed her hand, she nodded. 

"Well, we have some more things to attend to. Call if you need anything, and tell Squall that I will be checking on his condition tomorrow." 

"Right." 

"Good night, Seifer." 

He grunted something that, with much imagination, you could probably identify as "Night." The sight of Quistis still enraged him, as she brought back memories of the things that Squall had had to endure, but he knew that he owed much to Doc Kadowaki, as deeply as that knowledge bothered him. He wasn't one to depend on others, he never had been, thus the mere idea of being in someone's debt caved his spirits distinctly. Just what kind of guy was he turning into? 

Shaking off the unnerving thought, he pivoted into the direction of their apartment. It wasn't until then that he remembered the tiny piece of silver dug into the palm of his right hand. Unclenching his fingers and slowing just slightly in his stride, he flicked his jade gaze to that shiny object, examining it for at least the dozenth time ever since Rinoa had entrusted him with it. He wondered a bit, not for the first time, at Squall's obvious obsession with lions, an obsession that had had its grip on the brunette for as long as Seifer could remember. 

_ 'Leonhart… wherever did he get that name from, anyway?' _

Snapping his fist shut around the ring again and filing his curiosity away for now, he picked up his pace, wondering if Squall was still asleep. He would have to wake him up if he wanted to get back inside their apartment, there was no way around that. And once again he'd be bringing a 'gift'; he was becoming rather good at that, amongst other things. Not ever had he thought that he would be capable of remaining calm and unperturbed by Squall Leonhart's enticing, if frigid, presence and his stunning hurricane-like moods. 

Maybe he was growing up after all. 

That thought amused him, to an extent, before his attention was recaptured by the shut door barring his path to the inside of their place. He did consider prowling around for just a while longer, but interrupting Squall's sleep would be just as inevitable before long. Better to get it over with quickly. 

He thumbed the buzzer next to the door just once, unlike Rinoa, who had obviously found much pleasure in abusing the small button. Waiting patiently and staring bleakly at the sleekness of the object in front of him, he was almost startled when it slipped open without the smallest of sounds. Somehow, he had expected to be loitering in the hallway for maybe a tad bit longer than that. 

Perish the thought, not that he minded. 

Stepping into the living room, Seifer turned aside immediately, his eyes tracking his surroundings eagerly in search for his roommate. Then, when his gaze finally found Squall's figure, his breath stilled to perfection. 

Squall was standing motionless, one bandaged hand still resting against the opening contactor of the door mechanism, while his other arm hung loosely at his side. There was a certain stiff wariness about his posture, an irritable glint in the turbulent drowning pools of his eyes, but even so, Squall did not manage to extinguish even a fraction of his exceptional cuteness. 

He was still wearing Seifer's shirt, which fell much too large from his shoulders and almost completely hid his hands in the depths of its sleeves, while without a doubt keeping him comfortable and warm. His bare, pale legs contrasted not so much with his light grey shorts, but with the granite colored marble tiles to his naked feet. Seifer had let his gaze drop down that far, only to rise back up to the algid perfection of Squall's face, hidden partly behind unruly rich brown bangs that hung delicately against veils of dark lashes and mirrors to a soul that gave away nothing. 

There was an awkward silence, and Seifer couldn't bring himself to stop staring, as he perfectly realized that he was. Squall merely fixed him with mild curiosity, finally releasing his hand from the door button and causing it to hiss close soundlessly. Not trusting his tongue to produce the most appropriate words, Seifer carefully said nothing at all and held Squall's gaze until the brunette winced away just as it was common for him, and as the blonde had already been expecting him to anyway. 

_ 'He did keep eye contact longer than I thought, though.' _

Seifer smiled inwardly at the impression, before raising the corners of his mouth in a matching show case of his satisfaction. Squall seemed slightly confused at the gesture, insecurely contemplating the emotions that Seifer so openly displayed. The more time he spent with the blonde, the less he understood. Why was Seifer smiling when there was no reason and no foundation for his apparent cheerfulness? What was there to smile about? 

As Squall's nose crinkled involuntarily, Seifer had no troubles reading the brunette's mind. Biting down a laugh, he cleared his throat and continued studying Squall's face with open interest. 

"Sorry for waking you up, I kinda forgot my key card. How are you feeling, anyway?" 

"H-hn." 

"Aren't you cold like that?" 

"No." 

"Really now…" 

Chewing on the corner of his bottom lip, the younger boy looked like he was dying to ask Seifer a question or two, but his pride eventually got the better of him, as usual. The blonde decided that it was definitely close season for stubborn SeeD commanders, so he willingly played along, making it all as easy and uncomplicated for Squall as was practically possible. 

"I talked to Rinoa, and she told me to give this back to you." 

The flinch rocking through Squall's body, the way he inhaled sharply and his gaze dropped to the floor like a stone, gave away enough of the SeeD's acute pain and throbbing heartache at the sound of Rinoa's name. Nevertheless, his attention had been snared by the mention of a familiar item in Seifer's keeping. 

When the blonde carefully extended his arm and uncoiled his bandaged fist, Squall was absorbed in the unexpected sight of the entity that probably came closer to LionHeart's preciousness than any mere thing that he had ever owned. His eyes grew wide on their own accord, staring in disbelief and recklessly abandoned remoteness as his face shone almost translucent. 

Seifer smiled. 

"There… it's yours, Squall." 

He was radiating bliss over Squall's poorly hidden shock and joy, though contradictory they might have been in the beginning. When the brunette hesitantly reached out and almost reverently took the ring in trembling fingers, Seifer retracted his hand and brought it to his mouth in the vain attempt to stifle a content laugh, knowing only too well that Squall would probably highly disapprove in the wrong assumption of thinking that he was being laughed at. 

Still, he couldn't help but smirk. 

"Well, glad to see that-" 

What came after that, he hadn't seen coming, and much less so, expected. 

At first, Squall had only stared at the ring in his palm, puzzled and hypnotized at the same time. Then, however, his slate blue eyes had flicked upwards to snap themselves to Seifer's face, unable to quell the revealing glitter of wetness spangling in their very corners. 

It was then that the blonde had wanted to finish his sentence, to somehow ease the pain that was always mingling with Squall's joy, when he was effectively cut short by a pair of slender arms suddenly flinging themselves around his body, causing him to take a surprised half-step backwards before robbing him from his breath with the force of unexpectedness. He didn't even know what exactly Squall was doing until he felt the brunette's frame pressing against his own, drowning entirely in the swirling vortex of his own shook up senses as the quivering boy dug his head into the nape of his neck and whispered ever so breathlessly against his skin. 

"…Thank you…" 

Seifer stood frozen in awe with his heart thumping so heavily inside his chest that it hurt. Blinking, he stared down upon the top of Squall's head, or as much as he could see of it, anyway, as the brunette was crumpled against him. He knew better than to try and think, to try and understand and maybe risk breaking that dreamy moment, so he simply allowed his instincts to take control as his hands hesitantly travelled across the smaller guy's back, very gently encircling him before he dared to tighten the embrace. 

"Squall…" he murmured softly, surprise still swaying in his voice. 

And even though he reciprocated the hug more vigorously now by drawing Squall even closer into himself, the trembling body in his arms did not pull away. Squall was curled against him, desperately searching for support and comfort as his head was spinning in total pandemonium. His breath brushed against Seifer's neck, fast and flat and rasp with strain. Softly cooing, the blonde brought one hand up and dug it into Squall's hair, where he started running it through the brown feathery gentleness in vague circles, while never ceasing to steady the brunette with his other arm as he crushed them both together. 

"Shhh." 

Soothing Squall had almost become a ritual, but never, not once, had Seifer anticipated the younger to seek comfort on his own accord. Yet there he was, drowning himself in an embrace that he had initiated solely on his own, probably for the very first time in his forever withdrawn life. Somehow, Seifer had urged him out of his self-defensive forlorn shell and successfully torn down those stubborn walls of loathe and fear and shame. 

And for once, Squall was offering no resistance at all. 

Seifer savored the moment much more than he had ever thought that he would. Squall spooned against him so effortlessly that he started to wonder whether they had both been created for that very embrace of their, on the surface, so different bodies. It was so perfectly natural, yet so incredibly extraordinary that it rocked both of them to the core. 

As Squall closed his eyes, he could feel himself falling freely into an abyss of gentle nothingness, but he wasn't scared by that comprehension. He had never felt safer and more at peace than in those reassuring arms. 

Seifer could hear Squall sigh softly, and not for the first time he found himself wondering how he had ever lived without being able to hold the brunette's frail frame as close as was physically possible without their bodies becoming one. Nothing had ever felt so good, and nothing had ever felt so right. He didn't know what was going on inside the younger's head and what exactly it was that he was seeking, but no matter what Squall could possibly be looking for, he was willing to give it to him. 

They remained rooted to that spot for a long time, neither of them daring to break the contact, when suddenly, something inside Squall stirred. It was just a thought, a nag almost, but it was gaining power. Maybe this wasn't right after all, were they really supposed to be hugging each other like that? Granted, it felt good, but hadn't everything in his life that had ever felt good either disappeared or turned out to be a lie in the end? Could he really trust Seifer like that? Hyne, could he even trust_ himself_? What did_ he_ know of feelings? 

Nothing. 

Those new and yet age old fears quickly quenched his excitement and the serenity in his heart, blending it with confusion and mistrust. There was no part of him that really wanted to break the calming embrace and shatter the illusion of safety, but he urged himself to be stronger than that. His psyche was muddled, he couldn't drop his defenses like that, he was a SeeD after all, a mercenary, and that part of his life gave shape to all the rest of him. 

Somehow, though, forcing those things into his mind had become difficult. 

Who was he fooling? 

Seifer could feel the hands at his back clench to fists, and he immediately grew alert. Squall had fallen distinctly stiffer in his arms, which was always a bad sign. 

It was time to act. 

Deciding that it was better to let Squall go instead of having him pull away by force, Seifer moved his hands to the brunette's shoulders and eased their bodies apart. Suppressing a mournful sigh at the loss of contact was rough, but he was becoming somewhat good at giving in for the better cause. 

Squall was staring up at him when he was torn out of his dark reflections, his eyes wide and almost helpless. Seifer smiled, a smile that assured "It's alright", showing that he wasn't upset. He could see how Squall was struggling with his inner demons, a fight so delicate that they were both bound to lose if either of them tried just a little too hard. 

"Well," he broke their silence deliberately blithe, still cupping Squall's shoulders, "Didn't think you'd be quite _that_ happy. I should really get you jewelry more often." 

He winked, a flash of his typical charm and mild arrogance. It resulted in Squall blushing a furious shade of crimson and quickly casting his eyes down towards the ground. Once more, Seifer found himself fascinated by the brunette's incomparable cuteness. Just how much longer he would be able to contain his feelings he didn't know; it was becoming more arduous by the minute. He knew that sooner or later, he would crack, and then what? He couldn't imagine Squall to be able to handle more intimacy than a shy hug or a fleeting touch, but he was of course hoping to be proven wrong in the end. 

For now, though, his attention was caught by a hoarse, painful cough tumbling from the very depths of Squall's chest. He frowned inevitably. 

"You shouldn't be standing here like that, get your cute ass back into bed. You're sick." 

Squall's blush deepened at the soft teasing and he frantically avoided Seifer's attentive gaze. 

_ 'Why is he so… so…' _

The brunette frowned. 

_ 'Great, I don't even have words for it anymore. Why doesn't he make me angry like he used to? What… changed? Did anything change at all? I don't understand. I wish I could cast one glimpse inside his head and see what the hell he is thinking. This isn't the Seifer that I used to know. I mean… I liked him the way he was… I think. But now… I really don't know. I just know that I… I don't want him to leave.' _

Startled by that sudden realization, Squall twitched and a hiss of breath escaped his lips. Still gasping, he returned his fathomless gaze to Seifer, and the blonde could see that the calm in those eyes had been shattered. Frowning, he leaned forward just slightly, focusing on that unnerved flicker rippling over the surface of those deep, storm torn seas of blue. 

"Squall?" 

When he received no physical reaction, he folded his unbandaged hand against the brunette's forehead. It was still warm to the touch, but he didn't find it hot enough to be suggesting another fever. Still, the engrossed look in Squall's eyes belied that impression. 

"Squall, hey! What's wrong?" 

Finally, Squall snapped. Turning his focus outward, he was almost shocked to find Seifer's face so close to his own, a frown etched into the luminous golden features. 

"Sei… I…" he stuttered, then stopped. "Nothing." 

Seifer grunted angrily, even more so when Squall shrugged off his hands. It wasn't even so much that Squall felt uncomfortable or anything, but he was afraid to say things that he might regret a little further down the road. Even if it was true that he didn't want Seifer to leave him, he didn't have any inclination to let the other know. Not yet, anyway. Too new were those feelings, and too scary all along. He had no idea what it meant. 

"I'm tired," he mumbled under his breath. 

The other gunblader stood petrified, not for one second taking his eyes off the younger SeeD. Something had changed. He didn't know what it was and what exactly it entailed, but Squall seemed incredibly frightened. Even as Seifer strained the very abysms of his memory, he could not recall a single time that Squall Leonhart had looked so unbelievably terrified. What was he panicking over? 

"You sure nothing's wrong?" 

"Yeah. Just… tired," Squall muttered, avoiding any eye contact. 

_ 'You're a pathetic liar. You always have been. You're far too good at hiding things… but you couldn't lie to save your own life. You just don't have it in you.' _

Those thoughts crossed Seifer's mind, but he didn't vocalize them of course. Whatever it was that troubled Squall, he obviously wasn't interested in sharing. As usual, the brunette chose martyrdom over cooperation and, Hyne forbid, anybody's help, no matter how freely it was being offered. 

"If you say so." 

Casting the other a last meaningful look, Seifer disappeared into the kitchen. Squall stood unsteady for a moment, before settling himself onto the edge of the mattress with a grave expression. 

"Lay back down, Squall," Seifer rumbled from behind the counters, "Want some tea?" 

"I… yeah. Please." 

Seifer smothered a chuckle at the taut strain in Squall's voice as he had spluttered a quiet "please." The younger boy was far from impolite, he had been taught manners after all, but that particular little word was probably one of the least used in Squall's extensive vocabulary of monosyllables. The brunette avoided to ask for things at all cost, and when he did wrestle himself out of his shell just far enough to do it, he usually made sure to sound as cold and careless as even possible. Apparently, he was trying though, and that insight licked down Seifer's soul like warm honey. 

Indeed, Squall was no longer the untouchable ice prince. He _had_ displayed feelings and emotions, though fragile they might have been. For a moment, Seifer halted as he was putting tea bags into two large mugs and inflected upon that cognition. __

'The ice prince is thawing up at last. Who would have thought.' 

With his lips stretching into an almost silly smile, he poured hot water from a kettle and floated in the aromatic, soothing vapors of their herbal tea. He even added some lemon and sugar to Squall's, by then having caught up on the other's preferences… the ones concerning his drinks, anyway. 

Hot and sweet. 

Grinning, he grasped each cup with one hand and returned to the living room, where he froze immediately as his emerald gaze trailed to the bed. 

Squall was lying on his side and dangerously close to the edge of the mattress. Sound asleep. His chest was raising gently, his eyes closed behind darkly rimmed lids as he was surrounded by an almost super-natural glow. 

He was an angel, if Seifer had ever seen one. 

Sighing, the blonde took a careful sip of his tea, before setting both of the mugs on their nightstand. He wasn't necessarily tired, but a sleeping Squall was just too hard to resist. 

Scrambling across the lithe body wasn't difficult, and Squall didn't even wake up. Very gently, Seifer spooned him from behind, wrapping one arm tightly around the other and skillfully pulling him back to the middle of the bed. 

"What am I gonna do with you…" he whispered soundlessly. 

For the time being, he decided that curling up was definitely his best choice. He'd let himself be surprised by anything that would follow after that. After all, Squall was doing a much better job at conjuring up unexpected sweetness than Seifer would have ever imagined. And as he inhaled the scent of Squall's hair, their tea and the thick evening air, he was drifting off into a quiet slumber, long before he could notice that Squall was curling his arm across Seifer's sleepily, a content smile playing on his lips and no fear troubling his heart. 

None… 

… until his conscience slipped off into that fathomless, plunging darkness of deep sleep, travelling to that dark, disturbing place where his soul was most vulnerable and defenseless against any attacks. 

Where _they_ were already waiting. 

** ~To be continued!~ **

++++++++++++++ 

Oh, this one took a little longer again, didn't it? I am still here though *waves* It's also a long chapter so I hope it makes up for some of the wait ^^ Not that a whole lot is happening but… fear not, that will change all too soon :p I am almost scared to bring it to an end ^^ Who knows if you'll like it, you might hate me for it, hihi ^^ Oh well, we'll see. 

If it wasn't 4 in the morning I would answer your lovely reviews but I am far too tired and anxious to get this posted finally… so, I hope you can forgive my laziness, I thank every one of you for the ~wonderful~ feedback, you guys are so very sweet, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be writing this :D *hugs* 


	36. In the Shadows

** Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 36: In the Shadows

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It was dark.

It always was.

His steps were heavy on roughly chiselled obsidian grounds, the soft crunch of the leather of his boots the only sound around him.

So much darkness…

He stopped to cast a look around, but there was nothing for him to look at; only the distance of a black earth and a nocturnal horizon, far, far away. There were no lakes, no trees, no cities and no mountains, just cold and bare nothingness. Wrapping his arms around his body with the thin white shirt he was wearing, he continued pacing.

He knew where he was.

It was always the same. He had seen it far too many times already.

When he finally felt them, he stopped.

Them - two figures that were nothing but mere bodiless shadow, standing in front of him, one large and one small. They seemed so close, but he knew that it was impossible to reach them.

He knew, because he had tried.

Narrowing his eyes to moonstone colored slits, he uncrossed his arms from his chest. His wounds hurt underneath the stark bandages as he crushed his hands to fists. He knew only too well that there didn't lay much hope in defiance, but he was not going to give in.

Not this time.

Not again.

Soon thereafter, he could hear the familiar voice inside his head, hear it mock him as it was prying for his most sacred memories and feelings, the ones that he contained deep inside his frightened heart. They meant nothing to that voice, nothing but being the tool to hurt Squall, to tear him open and leave him suffering.

He knew the ritual, it was inevitable.

Warding his senses as much as he could, he slammed up feeble defenses against those onslaughts, again knowing only too well that they offered little to no protection, but trying all the same anyway.

He was still too strong to surrender.

The shadow knew that. It had but one goal.

To break Squall Leonhart. And while he wouldn't break, to torture him, for as long as it could.

Until he would wake.

_ "You are late, Squall." _

There was no need for him to answer that voice. He barely ever opened his mouth anyway, as they usually talked inside his head. It was always one voice, the other shadow he had never heard. Maybe it couldn't speak. He had never spent much thought on it.

_"You haven't visited us in a while. I'm disappointed. Where are your manners, SeeD?" _

He ignored the insult in the way the voice gave sound to the word 'SeeD', even ignored the stabbing inside his head as it started that old rite of pain and incubation of fell thoughts.

_ "Resisting me again, aren't you? You should know that it's in vain. You have nothing to oppose." _

_"I am not afraid of you." _

There was a soft laugh, a laugh so grotesque in nature that it sickened Squall to his very core.

_ "He was right. You really are a poor liar." _

_"Leave." _

_"Your struggles amuse me. You know that I am not going to leave. Not before I am finished with you." _

_"You have no right to be here!" _

_"Why, you invited me in, Squall. How impolite of you to chase away a guest." _

_"I didn't invite you!" _

_"I can see why you would lie to me, but why are you lieing to yourself?" _

_"Leave!" _

_"Why, so you can be with him? The one that calls himself sorceress knight? Preposterous." _

_"Don't you dare-" _

_"Oh, don't worry, Squall, I am not interested in him. You should spend more time worrying about yourself than you do about that man. Do you really think that he loves you? How very cute you are." _

_"Shut up!" _

_"You are so naïve, Squall. Nobody loves you. Nobody even gives a damn about you." _

Squall hissed as a blurry image slowly materialized a few feet in front of him, between those shadows and himself. It was Rinoa, how she leaned across a dark haired man sitting in a chair, kissing him. Once more, he felt that sharp pain inside his head, knowing only too well that that man wasn't him.

Groaning, he grasped his forehad.

_ "Yes, Squall. Yes." _

The image faded as the pain grew stronger. Taking his hands back down and digging his fingers into the wounds in his palms, he forced himself to focus.

_ "You really are trying too hard. What are you so desperately fighting for? Rinoa and your father? Oh, they love each other, but neither of them could care any less about you. Or are you perhaps fighting for the sorceress knight?" _

_"Don't… Leave him out of this!" _

_"Aww, you know I wish I could, Squall, but he is interfering with my fun. I can't let that happen." _

_"Fun…?" _

_"Yes. Aren't you enjoying this, too?" _

There was another hot wave of pain, surging from his chest up along his spine to his head. Again, Squall clasped his forehead as his stance swayed, but not a sound escaped his lips.

_ "Hm, not so much, are you? Maybe I need to try harder." _

Another cloud of desolate colors swirled into an image in front of him, and Squall flinched at the sight of Seifer Almasy. The Seifer that had been the sorceress knight, pinning Squall to a wall and torturing him with electronic shock waves in a cell of the desert prison. The joy and satisfaction over Squall's torment was clearly written in his grinning face.

Squall cast his eyes down.

_ "That's not him. It's not him." _

_"Aww, but it is. Don't you remember? Don't you remember how much he enjoyed seeing you suffer? He is much like me." _

_"He is nothing like you!" _

_"Oh, so that was all just a figment of your imagination, then? The imagination that you don't have? Who do you think you are fooling, Squall." _

_"That was… it wasn't him." _

Squall's face was carved into a frown as the pain grew stronger. It was always like that. Whenever he wouldn't falter at false words or painful images, the voice would rake through his mind, stirring sensitive nerves and cells to cause him as much physical pain as possible without actually touching him.

And he knew that it would get worse.

_ "You mean nothing, Squall, nothing! Are you really trying to talk yourself into believing that somebody cares about you? You, the guy that doesn't even have a heart? You are cold as ice, Squall. How could anyone love you?" _

_"I…" _

_"You hurt them, Squall, and they have hurt you without hesitation. Why? Because your feelings mean nothing. They are as superfluous as your entire existence." _

_"Seifer…" _

_"Seifer? Are you really calling out to the man that has tried to kill you? The man that savored tormenting you? You are pathetic, Squall." _

Squall remained silent, his features rigid and wide-eyed while his mind was being smitten. His jaw tightened as a convulsive shiver rocked his body, but still he was soundless. No matter how horrible the pain would become, he would not grant the shadow the satisfaction of hearing him cry, of hearing him beg. He was stronger than that.

_"You are so beautiful in your pitiful insurgency, Squall. Beautiful, fragile and breakable. I will break you, Squall. You will be screaming for death before long, my miserable little SeeD." _

_"You… you know… nothing…" _

_"Oh, but I know everything, Squall. Everything about you and your pathetic little being. You are so frightened of your own reality, you run like the little boy that you are from everything that could possibly touch you. Nobody could love you, even if they wanted to." _

_"That's… not true…" _

_"Did you not push everybody away who was ever trying to reach out for you? You banished them all. Now, they don't want to try any more. They have their own lives and their own love. Squall Leonhart means nothing to anybody." _

_"Sei…" _

_"Seifer only stays around because he likes watching you suffer. He is a rather fascinating man, so easily enthralled by pain and bloodshed. Maybe I should grant him a bigger part in our play." _

_"No, no… you…" _

But it was too late. The image of Seifer in the desert prison changed to that of Seifer standing across the body of a slain brunette boy… the lifeless, helplessly coiled blood-spotted form of Squall Leonhart. That Seifer was smirking in satisfaction, the blade Hyperion still in his hand as his victim's blood was already drenching its stainless steel. The Squall below him had died unarmed and with his eyes open, an inapprehensive look still resting in their grey depths long after life had already left them.

The real Squall cringed, finally snapped by the rising agony that had taken possession of every fibre in his body. He collapsed to his knees, his bandaged hands desperately clasped around his head, trying to block everything out, but to no avail. He could still see Seifer's cold, amused face. Amused by the sight of a broken rival and a slaughtered friend.

Squall wrenched his eyes shut.

_ "The sorceress knight Seifer Alexander Almasy hates you, and before long, he is going to kill you." _

"NO!"

Screaming out, Squall's head lashed upwards, his lungs burning with strain from the cry and the torture. And as his eyes fluttered open, they stared blindly into the face he had just seen in his dreams. The stare was as intoxicatingly green, the features as edgy and luminously enticing, but the expression had changed.

Seifer was leaning over him, his eyes throbbing with concern and his lips forming words that just then managed to cut through to Squall's pained conscience.

"… okay, I'm here! It was a nightmare! Squall!"

The brunette was panting, hungering for oxygen and for his mind to clear. Fear was still seizing his heart, but the pain in his head had subsided. Only very slowly, he managed to somewhat still his breathing to where he wasn't gasping anymore.

"It's alright, shh, it's alright. I'm here."

Shivering, he twisted his gaze Seifer to again, almost expecting to find that painfully amused look there. But the other's face was stark with shock, and his large hands were supporting Squall's restless body by his back and the nape of his neck.

"It was just a dream. Nothing's going to hurt you. I'm here."

And the soothing calm in Seifer's voice finally had its effect on Squall. As the blonde saw the youth's face slowly relaxing, he lowered him back into the bed carefully. Seifer had awoken by Squall thrashing about next to him, and he had quickly sat up and moved over the brunette to try and shake him awake. Squall had certainly startled him by suddenly screaming and almost slamming his head into his own, but luckily, neither of them had been hurt.

The older gunblader settled back into the covers next to the other, never leaving Squall's face out of sight but always making sure not to restrain the brunette. Whatever he had been dreaming about, it must have been horrible. Squall's nightmares worried him, and he seriously considered telling someone about it, Doc Kadowaki being the first person he could think of.

The aftershock of the dream was still coating Squall's mind as he was staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, his face pale and tight. Seifer didn't like that look at all.

"Squall, are you okay?" he asked intently.

It took Squall a moment to realize that he was being talked to, and he turned his head. Seifer was struck by the hurt he read there, and abandoning all restraints, he scooted closer to the younger and pulled him into a comforting embrace. The SeeD was shivering breathlessly in his arms.

"You really got me worried, Squall. What were you dreaming about?"

Squall merely shook his head against his chest. Of course… had he really expected the withdrawn brunette to be laying out some of his most intimate experiences?

Hardly.

Sighing, he settled for simply crushing Squall against him until the brunette finally stopped shivering.

"Whatever it was, it's not going to come back. It was just a nightmare."

As he eased both of them into a more comfortable position, he wrapped his arms around the lithe frame and seriously wondered whether his words held much truth or hope. Obviously, Squall was having those dreams frequently, and they weren't getting any lighter in nature, either. Soon he'd have to do something about that.

He couldn't stand to watch Squall suffer.

"I'm here, Squall," he whispered, "Always remember, I won't let anyone hurt you. _Anyone_."

Squall swallowed dryly. If Seifer had seen what he had seen, if he had heard what he had heard, would he still say those words? Would he swear to protect Squall against himself, too?

_ ..: "The sorceress knight Seifer Alexander Almasy hates you, and before long, he is going to kill you." :.. _

He couldn't help but flinch again in Seifer's embrace, which only resulted in the blonde firming his hold. The memory of the dream was slowly fading away, details becoming much too insubstantial for him to grasp, but that one sentence had carved itself into his mind by force. As ghastly as it was in its nature, there was also something strange about it.

"Seifer…?" he whispered almost inaudibly, and he could feel the other pushing closer against him.

"Yeah, Squall?"

"Is… your middle name Alexander?"

There was a pause, and Squall could almost feel Seifer pondering that unusual question.

"Why yeah, my full name's Seifer Alexander Almasy, you didn't know that?"

"No."

"Why are you asking this now?"

"No… reason."

The blonde shifted, trying to catch a glimpse of Squall's face, but the other hid it from him as best as he could. Just why exactly was Squall asking him about his middle name of all things, and even more so, why was he lying about it? Squall Leonhart never opened his mouth unless he had a good reason for it.

"What's your's?" Seifer finally asked.

"I don't have one."

"Hn, okay. Want me to give you one? You know how creative I am," he offered, quietly humming the tune that matched the chant he had once sung to Squall in the hospital room.

Squall shook his head, but a tiny smile spread across his face. As unnerving as Seifer's presence had been in his dream, it was even more so comforting now, in his wake existence. The younger sighed silently as he dared to close his eyes again and nuzzled deeper into the embrace.

It was all he could do but hope that the shadows of the night would never conquer the light of day.

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** To be continued!**

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Aww, I just came back from a weekend trip and saw all the new reviews! When I left the site was down, and because I didn't have any emails when I came back I figured I didn't get any more reviews than before I had left… then I checked, and myyyyyy… you guys are sho shweet!

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	37. Of Debt and Redemption

** ~Let Me Make It Alright~ **

Chapter 37: Of Debt and Redemption 

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Squall had spent the rest of that night, as well as the following five nights safe and sheltered in Seifer's arms, untroubled by nightmares and finally able to recover from his wounds, his cold and the sickness in his heart. All the while, Seifer had done a tremendous job at fighting off unwanted visitors, talking Squall into keeping appointments with Doc Kadowaki and just overall nursing the brunette back to health by cooking him wholesome meals, keeping him spirited and taking care of the occasional errand. By the morning of the sixth day, Squall was feeling considerably better. 

He awoke lazily, once again wrapped up in Seifer's strong arms. They had simply stuck with the ritual of falling asleep in the same bed, not minding at all whether any of their scarce visitors would notice that Squall's own bed had remained untouched all that time. Seifer had wondered, naturally, why Squall was so easily submitting into the physical proximity that he had thus far so frantically avoided, but he knew better than to ask. When it concerned his grumpy brunette roommate, it was always better to enjoy than to enquire. 

As Squall freed himself from the embrace, he sat quietly for a moment, silently admiring Seifer in his sleep. Whenever he watched the blonde mumbling and drooling into the pillow, he couldn't help but find the scene adorable. At first, it had been awkward to wake up next to the other guy, and often enough he had been startled by the closeness of their bodies, but very slowly, he had grown used to it and started to realize that really, he didn't want to miss it. Not that he knew what it was all about, frankly he had no clue, but it felt too good to be evil in nature. He allowed himself to trust his instincts just that far: Seifer meant no harm, and without him, he would most likely not be alive anymore. Whatever it was that the blonde was giving him, it was just what his fragile, tormented soul had needed. 

Sighing, he peeled himself out of the covers. It was shortly after nine o'clock in the morning; they had slept in, as usual. Another thing that Squall had never done in the past; there had rarely been a day when he would have been found in bed after seven. It wasn't like sleep had meant any sort of recovery or comfort back then though, of course. 

As Squall dragged himself through the living room and into the bathroom with an armful of fresh clothes from his dresser, he found himself to be unable to focus his muddled, sleep-drunk psyche on anything but that dozing blonde in the bed he had just left. Before closing the door behind himself, he threw another glance over his shoulder to the slumbering figure, and his heart leapt longingly inside his chest. 

He paused at the feeling, placing his right hand flat-palmed against his heart as he leaned with his back against the shut door. 

_ 'What am I doing… What is this? Why do I feel so jumpy? Because of him? I'm not like this. There's no fucking way. I mean… I don't think…' _

Thoughtful, he raised both of his hands to his face, studying the thin scars that had remained after a thorough treatment with potions and antiseptics. He had always watched Seifer carefully when the blonde had changed his bandages, and the touch, simple as it had been, had fascinated him. Hyne, there was nothing about Seifer that _didn't_ fascinate him. As he dreamily pivoted his hands in front of himself, that thought cut through his daze only too harshly. 

Squall frowned and dropped his arms almost hastily. 

_ 'What are you, a lovesick puppy? Get a grip.' _

Pushing himself off the door, he tried his best not to think about Seifer, and instead focused on his morning toilet ritual. That worked great for a while, but as soon as his distant grey gaze flitted by his own image in the mirror, he couldn't help but wonder what he would have done without Seifer. The dark shadows underneath his eyes had disappeared, his skin was by far not as ghostly pale as it had once been, and his eyes carried a healthy glow. All those changes were definitely Seifer's achievement, and nobody else's. The blonde had so selflessly taken care of him… taken care of the SeeD commander that should have been so much stronger. 

_ 'Yeah, a fine commander you are. You've done nothing but lie around and let Seifer take care of your pathetic butt. Did you even thank him for it?' _

He stopped. No, really, he hadn't thanked Seifer. Not that merely grinding out the words would be near enough to begin with. The older gunblader probably had no idea what his actions had really meant for Squall and his health, but fact was that he had saved Squall's miserable life from going down the drain. A simple "thank you" just wouldn't do. 

And as Squall pondered that concept, he realized that he had absolutely no idea how to thank someone, let alone thank someone that saved his life. What should he do or say? Should he buy Seifer a gift? Then again, he didn't know what Seifer liked, except for swords and well, swords. Money really wasn't an issue for Squall, as he never spent any of his pay and usually ended up saving it. Hence of course, he naturally wasn't very versed at all in the art of shopping and spending gil on anything but bullets or weapon magazines or the occasional belt. 

_ 'Yeah, great idea Squall, buy him a belt and a stack of bullets, he'll love you forever. Dumbass.' _

Groaning, he lowered his head into his right hand. There was no way that he would find the right gift for Seifer. It was probably better to forget the idea altogether, but that of course would have been wimpy. And rest assured that Squall Leonhart was a lot of things, but 'wimpy' did not count amongst them. 

Ultimately, he decided to set the thought aside for the time being, and settled for taking a long, hot shower instead. 

************** 

When Squall left the bathroom again approximately thirty minutes later wearing socks, a faded pair of dark blue jeans and a tight, long-sleeved white shirt, he found Seifer already up and fussing around in the kitchen in the attempt of preparing an extensive breakfast. Enthralled by the sight of a tanned, sleep tousled blonde gunblader in red shorts and a white tank top balancing an arm full of plates, glasses and bowls, Squall found himself rendered both motion- and breathless. 

Stirred by the movements from the bathroom, Seifer glanced at Squall out of bright, cat-like green eyes. He didn't find Squall's look any less enticing than the brunette found his, but he had become distinctly better at masking his excitement. Sleeping next to Squall for six nights without trying anything had turned him into a semi-professional at seeming completely unperturbed. 

"Yo, Squall. Morning." 

"Morning." 

"How'd ya sleep?" 

"Good." 

Seifer merely nodded and shifted his attention back to the stack of dishes in his hands. Thoughtfully, he arranged them on the table across from each other, before winking at Squall playfully and disappearing back into the kitchen. 

"Sit down, breakfast is almost done." 

Squall followed the mumbled order from behind the counters sheepishly, a slight blush creeping across his high cheekbones. It'd really, _really_ fucking help if his heart wouldn't always do flips at the mere sound of Seifer's baritone voice. Scowling, he sat down and tried to glare his spoon to pieces until a deep chuckle caught his attention. 

"What are ya trying to murder the spoon for? I swear, if looks could kill…" 

Seifer smirked and ran his finger along his throat, obviously mimicking a slicing gesture. Of course, Squall's blush only deepened, which didn't help his situation any. 

_ 'Stop acting like a giddy school girl and pull yourself together! Say something smart or something!' _

"I… uh… I… I like your pants." 

_ 'Good job… if he didn't know before that you were a dumbass, he definitely knows now.' _

Literally smacking his head, Squall couldn't see how Seifer first arched an eyebrow, then grinned lopsidedly at the unusual comment. The older almost had to keep himself from bursting out laughing at the contrite and utterly embarrassed look on Squall's face. He managed, somehow, to keep a vaguely straight face as he retrieved pancakes, juice and fruit from the kitchen. 

"Why, thanks. Had 'em for a while." 

The pained expression on Squall's ethereal features almost made him loose his cool, but he knew better than to break out into open laughter. Squall would probably have been terribly insulted. As he lowered himself into a chair, he decided that the smartest thing to do would be to change the subject. 

"So, you were up early. You sure you slept okay and shit?" 

"Huh? Oh… yeah, I'm fine." 

As Squall desperately focused onto the stack of pancakes that Seifer had dumped onto his plate, he suddenly remembered that he had been wanting to display his gratitude over Seifer's help a little more openly. Sighing, he raised his head and tried to force his lips into a quirky smile that almost made Seifer choke on the bite of food in his mouth. 

"Thanks, Seifer." 

Now it was the blonde's turn to be at loss for words. Chewing and flailing his fork through the air, he shook his head eagerly until he had swallowed enough to trust himself to speak without spitting a staccato of food all over the table. 

"You don't need to thank me. I mean… it's fun, you know. Eating with you… and stuff." 

That comment left both of them speechless, and even Seifer, who had never once blushed in his entire life, felt his face grow slightly warmer. 

_ 'Fuck, I didn't just say that. "It's fun eating with you… and stuff"? Oh man, that's just great, now he probably thinks I'm the biggest fucking dork in fucking Balamb.' _

Squall, however, had something completely different on his mind than Seifer was anticipating. 

_ 'He likes to eat with me? Bullshit, how could anyone like that, it's gotta be so fucking boring… Wait a minute… does he really? I mean… it's ridiculous, really, but if he does, then maybe…' _

Seifer saw that glint sparking up in Squall's gale grey eyes, but he had no idea what it meant. When Squall suddenly dropped his fork and jumped up from his chair, he understood even less. 

"Squall?" 

"I gotta go to my office." 

"Now??" 

"I… yeah, I gotta take care of something… important… I'll be back… later." 

Falling witness to Squall's puzzling haste, Seifer was actually impressed that the brunette remembered to put on his boots and grabbed his key card before bolting out of their apartment in a mad frenzy. It also surprised him that for once, Squall hadn't tried to sneak his way into the kitchen to do his dishes, and instead, had left them dirty on the table. As a matter of fact, he hadn't even had more than two mouthfuls of fruit topped pancake and a sip of juice. 

_ 'What the hell is so important? He hasn't been to his office in weeks, Trepe probably already assimilated the damn thing anyway. This doesn't make any sense.' _

Never having been one to brood, Seifer quickly decided that it was useless to ponder the question for too long. Sooner or later, Squall would be back, and even if the chance of receiving an explanation for the abrupt flurry was slim, it could never hurt to ask. 

************** 

Indeed, four pancakes, one shower, one cycle of dishwashing and about twenty minutes later, Squall was back. His face was unusually flushed, and for a moment, Seifer wondered whether the brunette had developed another fever. Squall was shifting from one foot to another after he had dropped his key card onto the table, and he was chewing quietly on his bottom lip as his blonde roommate set himself up in front of him. 

"Well, what was so damn important?" 

When Seifer crossed his arms in front of his chest while they were standing in the middle of the living room, Squall did open his mouth as if to say something, if only to change his mind a mere second later and shut it again quickly. 

_ 'Oh fucking Hyne, not the silent game again.' _

Sighing, Seifer stepped closer to his opposite and folded one finger against Squall's closed lips, which the younger acknowledged with a startled hiss. Seifer smirked. 

"_This_ is what us earthlings call 'mouth'. We use it to talk, amongst other things. Give it a try, oh strange friend from a faraway planet, it works really well," he said in a deep, mockingly lecturing voice. 

Frowning, Squall snapped his head to the right, thus losing contact with Seifer's hand. He mirrored the blonde's former stance, with his arms defensively folded across his chest while his eyes darkened threateningly. Talking to the older gunblader was already difficult enough without being made fun of, this really wasn't helping him any. Of course, Seifer had meant nothing bad by it, but he was once again reminded of Squall's recurrent sensitivity. 

"Okay, okay, sorry," he sighed in defeat, "Anyway, what was so important that you ditched my breakfast for it?" 

If there was one thing that Squall hated, it was to be put on the spot. Seifer expected an answer, and he didn't look willing to settle for any less than the truth. Unfortunately, the truth was somewhat embarrassing… 

"Well…" Squall started carefully, his eyes darting unsettled looks in every possible direction of the room that didn't line up with Seifer's face. 

"Yes…?" 

Oh yes, Seifer's patience was starting to run thin. Having to pry for every little word and piece of information definitely did not rate high on his list of favorite things to do. The only good part about it was that his chances of actually receiving an answer in the end had increased considerably over the previous weeks. 

"Uh… do you…" 

Squall appeared to be in terrible distress. It would have been comic in a way, hadn't it been for that frightened egde to Squall's voice and behavior. He started to resemble a cornered animal to such an extent that Seifer was moved enough to tell him to simply forget about giving any explanations at all. 

"Squall, don't-" 

"Do you like food?" 

There was a long pause. 

_ ..:::"Do you like food?:::.. _

It was a rather odd question, to say the least. Accordingly confused, Seifer scratched the back of his head, mussing up his still slightly damp hair. 

"Eh… yeah I do, what kinda question is that supposed to be?" 

"I mean, do you like sea food?" 

Now, that was making a little more sense. 

"Sea food… sure I do." 

For some reason, Squall suddenly exhaled sharply and his eyes bore into Seifer's, who was still slightly taken aback. The younger gunblader looked like he was about to burst from the pressure of something that weighed on his heart like a stone. The blush had actually faded from his face and left it looking pale and sickly. 

_ 'Is he about to vomit…?' _

As Seifer was seriously pondering that question with peaking interest, Squall quickly continued. 

"O-okay… and, you aren't busy tonight… right?" 

There was an unusual shade to Squall's voice, something that almost resembled a plea. Very slowly, Seifer started to understand which direction Squall's questions were taking. 

"Uh… no, I'm not, actually. Totally free," he answered curiously. 

"Oh… okay. I… well… I have reservations for tonight… in Balamb, at the Harbour Seal… they got pretty good food… I… I guess I was wondering… whether, you know, you'd wanna come along. With me." 

The shorter brunette gasped as 'the' question finally rolled off his tongue. He had to resist the urge to pinch his eyes shut, because looking at Seifer was about enough to make his stomach coil. He had never,_ ever_, asked anyone to go out for dinner with him, he just couldn't possibly understand why people did those sort of things on a day-to-day basis. He quickly decided that asking someone on a 'date' was worse than battling a flock of crackpot sorceress queens. 

"Are you asking me on a date?" 

As much as he tried, Seifer could not help it. Squall, who was Mister Anti-Social himself, asking _him_ to go out for dinner? His golden eyebrows were about arched to his hairline at the absurd idea. The brunette in front of him almost took a half-step backwards, his eyes wide in shame and discomfort as he waved his hands through the air frantically. 

"No… No! I mean, it's not a date, it's more like…" Squall was wrestling for words helplessly. 

_ 'Whoever invented the idea of dating was either a fucking nut case or morbidly masochistic!' _

Grinding his teeth painfully, Squall took a deep breath and subconsciously smoothed the stray strands of chocolate brown hair from his face with pale, faintly quivering fingers. 

"I just thought that it'd be… nice… you know… I really just… ah, fuck, it was a stupid idea, I'm sorry, nevermi-" 

It was pointless, really, it was. What in Hyne's name had he been _thinking_? Seifer probably thought he had lost his sanity completely, how couldn't he? Being asked by another guy to go out for dinner, of course it sounded like a date. Hell, it was a date more than anything else. At best, the blonde was probably grossed out. 

But once again, Squall found himself silenced in voice and thought by Seifer placing a finger against his lips. When the blonde's hand brushed his cheek, he shuddered weakly, even more so at the intent jade green gaze that had him hypnotized and petrified from head to toe. 

"Will you shut up? Of course I wanna go out for dinner with ya," Seifer cut him off softly. 

For once, Squall Leonhart's mind was a complete blank. Fortunately, his body still remembered how to stand and stare, not that that was doing him a whole lot of good, of course. He didn't even notice that his jaw had dropped slightly, until Seifer placed one hand against it and gently popped it back into place, all the while smiling from ear to ear like a child on Christmas Eve. 

"You can breathe again, you know." 

Despite the generous offer, it still took Squall quite a few moments before his brain became operative again and he allowed himself to draw a careful breath. Seifer wanted to go out to dinner? With _him_? Despite his pathetically failed display of manliness? 

"Reanny?" 

Seifer removed his hand from Squall's jaw at the brunette's adorable attempt to talk, and his smile deepened. 

"Really what, Squall?" 

"You really… you don't mind?" 

"No, silly. I'd love to. For when did you reserve the table?" 

"Uh… for 6pm. I-If that's okay with you." 

"Sounds good to me." 

They spent the following minute in silence, both drowning in the other's image, neither of them daring to speak in fear of breaking the magic that seemed to flow between them. It was Squall who eventually inclined his head and drew a rasp breath after having broken the eye contact. 

"O-okay, well I… I have an appointment with Doc Kadowaki… so, I better get going, I guess." 

Seifer truly hated it when Squall kept his head low. For one, he couldn't see the other's eyes anymore, and second, he didn't think that the brunette had any reason not to stand up straight and confident. Squall had done the same thing frequently as a child, and apparently hadn't ridded himself of the habit ever since. His long bangs would hang into his face like a veil, cloaking it from anyone's curious view. Seifer, on the contrary, usually kept his gold blonde hair gelled back, and he most certainly was not going to incline his head to _anyone_. 

On the other hand… to that particular short brunette brat perhaps he would… some day… 

Sighing, Seifer shook off the thought. Going to dinner with Squall definitely would not end in a mad smooch fest, that much he was sure of. Still, it was something exciting to look forward to, and he knew exactly how often Squall indulged in such purely social activities. 

_ 'Yeah, like, never.' _

He smiled, but of course, Squall couldn't see it since his gaze was still glued to the floor. It bugged Seifer in a way, but he wasn't going to cut into the younger for it. Squall had shown enough bravery for the day, wearing him out probably wasn't such a good idea. 

"Sure. I'm gonna go to the library and train some in the center, too, I think," he answered. "By the way, that Harbour Seal place is pretty posh though, isn't it?" 

"Uh… yeah, I guess so. Posh for Balamb standards, anyway." 

"Hn. Hope I can find something appropriate to wear so I won't embarrass the living hell out of ya." 

At that comment, Squall's eyes flicked upwards again, wide in surprise. Seifer was taken aback by their unusual navy blue tint, a color that rarely shone through those tight, smoky grey webs that so often glazed Squall's beautiful eyes. 

"Why would you embarrass me?" Squall asked incredulously. 

"Well, you _are_ the commander of Balamb Garden after all, not to mention that you pretty much single-handedly saved the world and your father is the president of the most powerful nation in our history. You and I don't really play in the same league, superman." 

Immediately, all of Squall's insecurity and embarrassment vanished into oblivion. Cocking one eyebrow, he shifted his weight onto his right foot and frowned as he placed one hand on his hip. 

"Ouch, Seifer." 

"Hey, I meant that in a good way and all, I-" 

"I'm not any better than you are, understand?" Squall cut him off fiercely, "Scratch that thought out of your head right _now_." 

Seifer was surprised at the upset look on his opposite's face and his sharp tone. He truly hadn't intended to sound like a big whiner or jerk. To him, the fact that Squall was way out of his league had never struck him as being unusual or wrong, it felt in fact rather natural. For whatever reason though, and Seifer decided to blame it on inappropriate modesty, the brunette SeeD seemed to disagree. 

"We can go someplace else if you want, but don't give me that bullshit ever again." 

Squall's eyes had darkened and were glittering dangerously. Apparently, he was dead serious, and his frigid temper was lethal once aroused. 

"No," Seifer replied after he had finally caught himself, "No, the Harbour Seal is fine. I'll find something to wear." 

"I don't care what you wear," the brunette shrugged. 

"Yeah, but I do." 

"… Whatever. You're so vain." 

"I'll go naked if you want me to?" 

"Tempting, but no thanks." 

Squall slit his eyes in a playfully stern way, before eventually shaking his head and reaching past Seifer to grab his key card again. His breath stilled minutely as his body brushed against the taller blonde's, but he pulled away too quickly for Seifer to notice his awe. 

"Well, I'm off. I'll see you later, Seifer," he said with the most nonchalant air he could muster. 

"Aight. Later, Squall." 

When Seifer watched his younger roommate leaving, he couldn't fathom the inner turmoil that was stirring inside Squall. 

The one turmoil that was so very similar to his own. 

Ever since their childhood, Squall had looked up to Seifer. He had found his rival to be so much stronger, wittier and braver than him, and he had been both angered and fascinated by that impression. Sure, Seifer was cocky and a jerk more often than not, but he had the skills and the looks to back his attitude up with ease. Seifer was radiating strength and vigor, a magnificent beacon of light when everything around him was but darkness. He was and always had been the center of attention, no matter where he went. Compared to him, Squall felt like a feeble and lame and very poor copy of the original. 

The older blonde, however, knew nothing of Squall's abyssal self esteem as his eyes followed the lithe figure out and through the door. 

Of course, he also had good reasons to be distracted. 

_ ..::: They were going to go on a date. :::.. _

** ~To be continued!~ **

++++++++++++++ 

Oh la la, Squall asking Seifer for a date, who would have thought ^_^ Poor guy has no clue whatsoever what FAVOR he's doing Seify ^_^ Mehehehe. Another long chapter, much longer than I had intended. I think my stuff is getting too wordy ^_^ Sorry if the chapter seemed a little slow, especially in dialogue, but I figured Squall would be rather flustered, and Seifer actually no less, though he pulled it all off much smoother hehe ^_^ 

Once again, thanks everyone for being so patient and such faithful reviewers, I am always speechless after I upload a new chapter and find all those wonderful comments, and all smiles too ^_^ I really hope I can keep up and bring the story to a satisfying "end". If not, you can murder me with a spoon!!! 


	38. Dressed for Success

**

~Let Me Make It Alright~ 

**

Chapter 38: Dressed for Success 

++++++++++++++ 

The moment that Squall had left their apartment, Seifer was head first inside his closet, madly pulling out shirts, pants and underwear. Soon enough, the floor to his feet was covered in clothes and intriguing accessories, all efficiently heaped to about knee-height. His eyebrows converged critically as he struggled free from the jumbled pile and took a step back to assess the situation. 

He had always paid very close attention to his own appearance and style, but even so, most of his clothes were of practical rather than fashionable nature. There was, however, one outfit that he had worn a fair year ago, at the Garden's SeeD inauguration ball. Unlike Squall, Seifer hadn't been admitted into the ranks of SeeD, and thus he had passed the party in civilian clothes rather than a preppy uniform. 

While he was half-heartedly screening the disarranged content of his closet, Seifer vividly recalled that particular glamorous evening in the facility's ball room. He had been fairly busy drinking wine and socializing with Fujin, Raijin and some other random party guests that had been of no noteworthy importance, except for his least favorite ex-girlfriend Rinoa, perhaps. Nevertheless, he had found ample time to rave in silence over the image of Squall in his extravagant SeeD uniform. The brunette had spent most of that night alone and leaning against a wall, his frosty gaze glowering bleakly at every little thing around him. Then eventually Squall had disappeared, and shortly after, Seifer had been far too occupied with Rinoa, who had popped up out of nowhere, to pay much more attention to the object of his secret longings. __

'And here we are, one year later, and for Hyne's sake, I have nothing to wear.' 

Fortunately, that thought proved to be quite incorrect. After a few minutes of further planless searching, Seifer successfully retrieved a black, matt silk collared shirt, as well as a set of black formal pants. They needed to go into the laundry without a doubt, but there was plenty of time to be taking care of that. Seifer tossed them across the back of a chair and carelessly hurled the rest of his clothes back into the closet. 

_ 'Well, that's that.' _

Considering that he hadn't had any issues with his other old clothes, Seifer was in no way worried about the fit of the ensemble. He'd be fine as long as they would make it out of the dryer in time. 

He hung about just a little bit longer before boredom caught up with him at last. He had spent the major part of the prior week in their small apartment, and without Squall's presence that place was certainly lacking any sort of enticement. Thus, he gathered his key card, his gunblade and his dirty dinner outfit to swing by the laundry facility before he'd probably spend some more or less fulfilling hours in the training grounds. 

One way or another, he really didn't have much else to do. 

************** 

As expected, Seifer had spent the greater part of that day without any significant excitement. He had washed his clothes, hung around the apartment and the orchard for a while in the vain hope to run into Squall, then returned to transfer the laundry into a dryer and passed the rest of the afternoon in the training center decimating the Garden's vast supply of grats and t-rexaurs. 

It was almost 4pm when he decided to best go back and meet up with Squall to prepare for their night out. It was a Friday, and many students liked to rent Garden vehicles to drive downtown, unless that had changed during his months of absence, of course. They'd have to be quick if they didn't want Squall to have to pull rank on some random cadet or a flustered vehicle officer. Most thoughtfully, Seifer came to the conclusion that his humble friend probably wouldn't enjoy such a precarious scenario very much. 

After he had picked up his dried outfit and returned to their apartment, Seifer was rather astonished to find it as deserted as he had left it. Squall wasn't exactly one to procrastinate if he had a time schedule to attend to, so where was he? 

_ 'Did he change his mind? Not that I'd be surprised or anything.' _

Indeed, Seifer suddenly saw a slip of paper atop their dining table that looked perfidiously like a "sorry, can't make it"-note. Sourly, he dropped his fresh clothes and picked up the letter to read it, immediately recognizing Squall's narrow, meticulous handwriting. 

_ Seifer- _

I had to run downtown. I'll pick you up outside the gate at 5:30pm.  
Bring sunglasses. 

Squall 

Seifer blinked and read the sparse lines again. 

_ 'Bring sunglasses? The hell?' _

Apparently, Squall wasn't ditching him after all. That cognition was relieving to a large extent, even if Squall's note had been rather stingy with information on what exactly the brunette was concocting. 

_ 'Guess he thinks it's none of my business. Well, whatever floats his boat, I guess.' _

Shrugging, Seifer absent-mindedly folded the paper into a simple origami airplane, without actually turning around to launch it. From the look of things, he'd be all alone in his preparations. He was somewhat disappointed, but the fact that Squall was going to pick him up intensified the impression of an actual date over a simple dinner together. 

Gently, the blonde placed his paper airplane onto the table and proceeded to retrieve Squall's board and iron from the bathroom. Entangled in his thoughts and his ever-increasing nervousness, Seifer ended up ironing his shirt and his pants much too leisurely, and when he glanced again at his clock, he almost exploded in a mad fit. 

_ 'Four fucking fourty-five?! Fuck, I'm gonna be late!' _

Haphazardly stowing away the tools, Seifer racily stripped down to his skin in the living room and darted for the shower. He managed to wash himself and his hair, shave, dress and brush his teeth in what seemed like a personal all-time record. By 5:15pm his mirror image was staring back at a tall athletic blonde with carefully smoothed back hair, a bright white smile and a saucy glint in his emerald green orbs. The coal black silk of his shirt stretched just perfectly over his well developed torso and was contrasting exotically against his tanned skin. He had left the topmost buttons open, revealing just a little bit of collar bone and a short, thin leather necklace. He had tucked the shirt into his dress pants, which were held in place by a smooth black belt with a silver buckle. Overall, it was a deeply satisfying sight, and even his favorite pair of boots went well with his roguishly stylish look. 

After a final critical check-up, Seifer sucked in a jagged breath of air. 

Ready or not, it was time to go. 

Rumbling through some drawers, he whipped up a pair of reflective sunglasses that Zell_ hadn't_ managed to break during their move. He slipped them into his shirt pocket along with his key card, before throwing a last doubtful look into the mirror. __

'Don't fuck up this time.' 

Rolling his eyes at himself, he spun around sharply and trudged out of their apartment without losing any more time or risking to crest new levels of insecurity. After all, if bearing in mind how minutious Squall was, the brunette was most likely already waiting for him. 

Seifer walked fast, without actually falling into a sprint, and when he stepped outside he silently thanked Squall for the written hint about the sunglasses. The sun was low and bright on the horizon, cutting into his eyes rather painfully until he slipped the shades over his head. 

Some students were on their way out of the Garden as well, and more than just one curious or frightful glance brushed Seifer's form. Fortunately, Seifer was much too busy with his own anticipation to notice any of it; in fact, he almost didn't even become aware of Squall's slim figure just a few feet ahead of him. When his mind finally _did_ process the image, his heart skipped a series of beats inside his chest. 

The brunette was leaning with his back against a car, that much Seifer's jade eyes had taken in, before they had been magically snared by the sight of Squall Leonhart himself. The SeeD was standing casually, his arms crossed loosely before his body, and what a body it was. Seifer's jaw dropped open, and he didn't even care. 

Thin black fabric clung closely to aesthetically curved long legs, while a fitted, steel blue collared shirt shimmered softly in the sunlight and accentuated a supple upper body and strong swordfighter's arms. A simple black belt did everything to stress Squall's enticingly narrow waist and his flexible stance. Futuristically smooth, silverish reflective sunglasses obscured his eyes from view and completed a look that Seifer could only describe as 'outrageously fucking hot.' 

Trying to hide his thoughts seemed superfluous somehow. 

"Fuck, Squall. You're hot." 

Even though he couldn't see it, he knew that Squall was arching his eyebrows as Seifer slowly stepped closer to him. The brunette's face expressed no emotion whatsoever, he was the perfect personification of utter coolness. Inside though, he was bubbling like a volcano. 

Seifer looked like some male model that had bounced right out of a magazine cover; why ever he had said that _Squall_ was hot was really beyond the younger gunblader's understanding. Apparently, Seifer hadn't checked himself in the mirror before he had left, why else would he be assessing at such low standards? 

"You ready?" he finally asked, ignoring Seifer's comment. 

"Not so sure I can sit next to ya without melting." 

"Don't be ridiculous." 

"I'm not fucking kidding, Squall!" Seifer gasped, abandoning all former untypical shyness and restraint, "Do you have any idea just how fine you are?" 

Squall wasn't sure whether he should frown or blush. He couldn't image Seifer to actually be serious about his comments. Of course, Squall did pay some sort of attention to the way that he dressed, but he never actually fussed over it, either. He usually wore things that visually appealed to him in either style or color, whether he actually looked good in them or not was hardly something that he'd be able to judge properly. 

Seifer did a pretty decent job at guessing Squall's silly thoughts, and he grunted in disapproval. 

"Clueless, I swear." 

_ 'How can anyone be so oblivious? I knew he was too modest about his looks, but this is absurd. That really has to stop.' _

He gave Squall another long, thorough look that was radiating praise even through the glass of his shades, before shifting his attention to the car at Squall's rear. His jaw dropped another inch. 

"A _convertible_?" 

A convertible indeed. To be exact, it was a sleek black sports car, one of the really high performance and expensive kinds that, to Seifer's information, were only manufactured in the capital of Esthar. 

"Is that your's?" he stuttered. 

Squall merely shrugged and nodded curtly. 

"Damn," Seifer whistled acknowledgingly, while his eyes roamed the jet black lacquer and the off white leather interior, "I didn't know you had a car like this." 

"I never drive it," Squall waved vaguely, "It's useless." 

Seifer glanced back and forth between the convertible and Squall. A hot car, an even hotter guy; chances were, he was dreaming, and he'd be bound to wake up shortly. 

"You ready or what?" Squall interrupted him with a slightly annoyed, or rather uncomfortable undertone to his voice. 

"Yeaaah," the blonde merely drawled dreamily. 

Elegantly, Squall pushed himself off the hood of the car and pulled Seifer's door open. He didn't wait for the blonde to get in; instead, he walked to the driver's side and slid into the seat smoothly, all the while carefully followed by the blonde's lusting eyes. 

"Get in," he growled, loud enough for Seifer to snap out of his trance and finally swing himself into his creamy leather seat. 

"Damn," Seifer repeated, "This is quite the ride." 

Needless to say, Seifer knew that Squall hadn't bought the car for himself. It was more likely than not a gift from his rich father, and a pretty spendy one at that. Then again, it wasn't like Laguna couldn't afford it with ease. Still, Squall was handling the car almost like a foreign object as he turned the key and started the engine, his luminous face fixed to an unemotional frown. Seifer found it sweet somehow that Squall had taken the car for their little evening out, even if he apparently passionately despised every wire and bolt of that machine. It was so typically Squall to loathe a generous present like that that it made Seifer laugh out loud. 

"What's so funny?" Squall glared, his hands curled firmly around the steering wheel even though the car was still at a full stop. 

"This was a gift from your old man, wasn't it?" 

Squall's face twitched. Seifer had been too enraptured to consider that maybe, bringing up Squall's father _wasn't_ such a brilliant idea, but the brunette remained awfully cool. 

"Hn." 

"Thought so." 

"For my 18th birthday," Squall added indifferently. 

"Damn, what did you get for Christmas?" 

"Don't ask." 

Squall floored the gas pedal so abruptly that Seifer was thrown back into his seat as the car took off with a deafeningly loud screech of the tires and at neck-breaking speed. Gulping, the blonde stared at his brunette driver, who was stubbornly staring straight ahead as he guided the car down the slopes of Balamb Garden's hill. 

"You trying to kill me?" Seifer groaned. 

"You don't want to know." 

"You're funny." 

Surprisingly enough, Squall switched moods again and his face brightened up distinctly. His lips smoothed into a smile, but his eyes never left the road ahead of him. 

_ 'He's so dutiful, it's funny. Quite the hotheaded driver though, geez.' _

"We going straight to Balamb?" 

"Hn." 

"That'll only take us like five minutes though in this rocket cruiser. The reservations aren't until 6pm." 

"Correct." 

Apparently, Squall wasn't realizing that Seifer was waiting for a more in-depth explanation, or he was simply ignoring him. Seifer suspected the latter. Overall, it didn't matter much, though. He liked surprises, and the only form of entertainment he really needed was to be able to look at Squall – which he did very, very thoroughly. 

A few minutes into the trip over the vast green plains of Balamb, Squall's face flicked to the right and cast a quick glance at Seifer, who was bluntly checking him out. 

"What you looking at?" he huffed. 

"What do you think?" Seifer replied with an astute grin. 

"I asked you," Squall bit back. 

"I'm looking at _you_." 

Seifer saw how Squall started to subconsciously knead the steering wheel in his hands. He refused to turn his head again, but the blonde knew that Squall was thinking. Oh yes. He was and always had been too humble for his own good. 

"Why?" Squall finally asked blankly. 

"You're quite the eye candy. As in, extremely nice to look at." 

The blonde gunblader didn't quite know why he was being so deliberately blunt, but he was aware of the effect it was having on Squall. It was most definitely unsettling the shorter brunette and his daft façade of plain frigidity, which was quite a desirable achievement in Seifer's books. He was so sick of Squall's lack of self-esteem and the fact that apparently, nobody had ever bothered to make the SeeD feel any better about himself. Seifer had no problems voicing his opinion if it would help Squall's confidence any. 

"Very funny," Squall hissed. 

"Do you see me laughing?" 

Again, Squall fell quiet. He was starting to run out of snappy remarks. What the hell did Seifer think he was accomplishing with those comments? As if Squall would really believe that the other was being serious. 

Yeah right. 

"You can ignore it all you want, Squall, you're really fucking good-looking and people are attracted to you. You can't change that." 

Immediately after that sentence had left Seifer's mouth, he realized that despite his good intentions, he had said just a little too much. And of course, Squall had picked up on the implied statement with acute attentiveness. His eyes widened behind his glasses and left the road as he turned towards Seifer. 

"... What?" 

"Whoa, hey, look at the road!" 

Seifer pointed ahead frantically, blatantly trying to change the subject. He didn't necessarily mind so much that Squall could possibly find out the truth, or at least parts of it, but the back of a sports car that was howling ass across the plains of Balamb just didn't seem like the perfect place for chancy revelations. He'd tell Squall, definitely, but he much preferred to choose time and location on his own. 

"Too bad your old man didn't know what a kamikaze driver you are." 

"Whatever." 

_ 'Why is he changing the subject? He said that 'people' were attracted to me... what the hell was he talking about exactly? Whatever. I'm probably reading too much into it.' _

"We're almost there," Squall remarked, without real particular reason. 

"And we're early," Seifer added smugly. 

"I know." 

"So you-" 

"You'll see. Be patient, princess." 

Seifer was openly startled at the comeback that he himself had used quite a number of times. Squall had never called him 'princess', or any other mock nickname for that matter. It was most certainly intriguing, if not appealing. 

"Sure. If you want me to, babe." 

If Squall was taking this further, so could he. He had used a variety of names for Squall, but none of them had been of the real insinuating kind. There was no way he was just going to hand this to the brunette, though. 

The young SeeD was definitely surprised at the new level of impudence, but he was fully aware of the fact that Seifer was, at least partly, only toying with him. 

"Hope you did my laundry while I was gone, wife," he drawled in mock astringency. 

"Anything for you, sexy." 

"That's a good girl." 

"Thanks, hot stuff." 

"Hn." 

Suddenly, Seifer's face changed and lit up with his characteristical impertinence. He would have flung himself at Squall, hadn't it been for the fact that the brunette was driving. 

That didn't hurt his performance the least bit. 

"Ohhh, oh yeah, make hot monkey love to me now, baby! Ravage me in the moonlight!" he roared dramatically and with the queerest fervency he could muster, while he was gyrating his hips in his seat. 

Squall snorted across the steering wheel at the unexpected comment, and his body was shaken by sudden suppressed laughter. Seifer's theatrical expression smoothed into a satisfied smirk as he watched his younger rival wholly enjoying himself. 

"You're nuts," Squall finally chuckled after he had managed to catch his breath. 

"Yeah, but you started it, baby." 

The last pet name hadn't quite been intended, and Seifer was almost astonished by the natural ease with which it had spilled from his lips. Luckily or not, Squall didn't go into it. Seifer was almost disappointed, since, intented or not, he had been pretty provocative. Maybe the brunette had simply blamed it on his silliness, and thus decided to ignore it. 

Even so... the blonde couldn't shake off the feeling that the evening would maybe take an entirely different course than he had originally anticipated. 

Secretly, he was crossing his fingers. 

** ~To be continued!~ **

++++++++++++++ 

Ohh… this turned out a little longer than I had intended, so I decided to not write about the actual 'date' until next chapter. Sorry guys ^_^ 

Yet again, much thanks and hugs to Starlit Hope, Redrum, Rinoa36, faery-of-fiction, Avatar Infidel, Mistal: The Poisoned One, squeakychris, Angel Ran, Sillie, Sickness in Salvation, Spawn of Hell, Kursed SeeD, fantasymichelle14, golden-flame4, Red Rose, Venom's Savior, sakura_star-63, Forever Almasy and Casey as well as everyone else that I forgot because I was too lazy to go through all my comments ^_^! I swear this story would be nothing without you, and I can't thank you enough for all the encouragement. Whenever I feel like I run out of ideas, suddenly someone pops in a review full of sweetness and everything seems really easy again all of a sudden ^_^ I promise to check out your fanfictions as well, I am just hesitant to read too many other fics at the moment because I am so easily influenced sometimes ^_- 

Now, *smacks Seifer* go out there and make me proud ^_^ 


	39. Should Have Known Better

** ~Let Me Make It Alright~ **

Chapter 39: Should Have Known Better 

++++++++++++++ 

"5:35pm. I told you we'd be early." 

"I know." 

Calmly, Squall was pulling the car into the city of Balamb. He was slowing down distinctly, which surprised Seifer to a certain extent. Then again, Squall had never been one to take uncalculated risks. The last thing he would do was to howl ass through a town buzzing with pedestrians. Needless to say, they received very curious and envy-struck looks from the latter, as Squall was focusing on steering their sleek black ride through the narrow streets. 

Seifer grew slightly uncomfortable. He had thus far done well at avoiding Balamb and the people there that knew him so much better than he liked, and now the familiarity of the place was clogging up his throat. He had spent so many years roaming those streets with Fujin and Raijin - hitting on girls, picking fights, dancing at the local club and shopping for useless gadgets. Those memories now followed his trail like the scent of the ocean that he could almost hear booming in the distance, an ocean so vast and untamed that even Seifer held it in great respect. 

"Seifer." 

Oh. 

He had almost forgotten that he wasn't alone. 

"Huh?" 

"We're here." 

Blinking, Seifer looked around. Drunk in his memories, he hadn't even noticed how Squall had pulled into a parking lot near the harbour. From afar, he could see the piers that were lined with ships, some of which Garden property, and along the promenade there were salesmen pushing trolleys with food and souvenirs for the numerous tourists that visited Balamb during the summer. 

A fresh, salty breeze caught in his hair, gently carrying tiny wisps of golden tresses into his face that he only reluctantly brushed away with a quick flick of his hand. Somehow dazed, he turned his head to Squall, who had taken off his sunglasses and was staring quietly upon the ocean. The way his fathomless eyes perfectly mirrored the color of the sea was only too fascinating, but before Seifer could wholly drown himself in the sight, the brunette had already diverted his attention. 

"We should get out of the car." 

His simple pragmatism could have been amusing, but Seifer was in no mood for laughter. He strangely felt like he had entered a completely different world, so far away and shut off from everything that was reality. Even Squall, who was already ethereal by nature, seemed so hypnotically surreal that Seifer almost wanted to reach out and touch his ivory frame to make sure that he was really there, sitting next to him like an ancient dream from a carefree youth so long forgotten. 

Semiconsciously, Seifer took off his sunglasses and stared at the boy at his side without the barrier of tinted glass. 

"Seifer?" 

Squall's brows had converged at the engrossed look in Seifer's eyes. Tilting his head to the side and back slightly, he watched how Seifer's upper body incrementally leaned towards his, and he crinkled his pale nose in confusion and apprehension at the gesture. 

"Seifer, what are you doing?" 

Quickly, he extended one arm and connected it with the shoulder of the guy who was still gazing at him with wide emerald eyes that were completely out of focus. Fortunately, halting his friend's body in that position wasn't too difficult, since Seifer appeared to be totally detached from reality. 

"Seifer," Squall frowned, "Hey! Wake up!" 

Like a rubber band, something inside Seifer snapped sharply at the urge in Squall's voice. He ricocheted back when he realized that he had been leaning half-way across the brunette's seat, and his mind finally cleared from heavy clouds and brooding mists that had apparently emerged out of nowhere. 

"Squall…" he stuttered blankly. 

The other was still frowning, but there was concern in his eyes as well. Zoning out like that was by no means typical for his blonde companion, and for a moment, Squall wondered whether he had done the right thing by bringing Seifer to Balamb; The place just had to be laden with unpleasant memories. It hadn't been his intention at all to remind Seifer of the painful past, and now he was feeling extremely foolish, if not guilty. 

"We don't have to stay here," he offered quickly. 

Seifer had to ponder that remark for a moment, not having been able to follow the path of thoughts inside Squall's mind, before he understood what the younger was implying. 

"No, I want to stay." 

"Sure?" 

"Yeah. Let's get out already." 

Forcing himself to smile assuringly, Seifer pushed out of the car. Squall hesitated briefly, not at all fooled by the blonde's happy-go-lucky impression. Maybe he had become so good at picking up other people's emotional dilemmas, because he himself was so very experienced with dark moods and haunting memories. Either way, Seifer couldn't trick him. 

"Didn't think you'd make me wait, Squall." 

The fact that Seifer was trying to conceal his discomfort almost managed to rise just a little bit of angry heat in Squall's frozen body. Maybe it wasn't so much anger as it was disappointment, but the former seemed a lot less complicated than the latter. 

And Squall hated complications. 

Seifer watched how the brunette finally tore himself out of his stupor and slid out of his seat. To his curiosity, Squall's suddenly rotated his body gently, and he bent back down to look for something on the floor of the car. While he was slipping his silver sunglasses into the pocket of his pants, his steel blue gaze was obviously tracking attentively across the bottom in front of the driver's seat. 

"Did ya lose something?" 

Squall's head jerked up again hastily, and Seifer couldn't shake off the feeling that the other was hiding something from him. Cocking one eyebrow and tilting his head, he witnessed how Squall stumbled upwards and around the front of the car, his view slightly inclined. Then the brunette stopped in one place and glanced at Seifer quickly, with a distinct edge of nervousness in his gestures. 

"No." 

He wasn't lying by any means, but he didn't go so far as to explain to Seifer what exactly he had been doing, either. A slight blush crept its way to his cheeks, but he fought down his embarrassment with the ferocity of a lion. 

"Let's go," he said with unnatural cheerfulness. 

_ 'Ok… this is… weird? What was he doing?' _

Squall didn't leave Seifer time to ponder the question any further, because he flashed a smile that, despite the fact that it had been rather calculating, rocked through every inch of the blonde's body. Stupefied, he let his legs carry him to Squall's side, which the shorter guy redeemed with another fragile grin, before pointing along the pier. 

"This way." 

"Where are we going?" 

"To the restaurant." 

"Why walk from here?" 

"You'll see." 

Squall remained the master of one-phrase answers. Whether or not he was annoying the living hell out of Seifer didn't seem to concern him too much. Casually, he walked a few steps, Seifer still at his side but distracted by his own nagging curiosity. Sure, he liked surprises, but once again he had to admit to himself that really, he did not possess a glimpse of the patience needed to sit through the length of one. 

"You're gonna push me off a pier, aren't you?" he joked in the vain attempt of coaxing the truth out of his secretive companion. 

"That wasn't my plan, but thanks for the suggestion, I might come back to that." 

Seifer couldn't help but laugh and nudge Squall in the side, who almost reeled over at the force of the touch. 

"You little prick." 

"Whatever." 

Squall flicked some loose strands of chocolate hair from his eyes that were obviously bothering him. After that, he wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands, so he crossed his arms in front of his chest as they were slowly walking along the edge of the water. Seifer threw him a probing glance that was oozing with impertinence. 

"Are you cold, ice princess?" 

"Bite me." 

Squall had to unfold his arms to be able to flip Seifer off, and he gladly did so. Somehow, their little banters had lost their caustic passion, though. Neither of them was actually offended or hurt in their pride, it was just a fun way to communicate. Sure, it was childish by any means, but Squall didn't care so much anymore, and Seifer _never_ had to begin with. 

The brunette commander of Balamb Garden was enjoying their little stroll at the harbour that was crowded with other locals and tourists. He usually hated to be around people if he could in any way avoid it, but the fact that Seifer was next to him made all the difference in the world. Whenever he would risk to take a fleeting look at the blonde, he was greeted by a wide, reassuring smile that melted his insides to a mess of warm goo. It was like a playful tickling in his stomach, a feeling of pleasant prickles all over his skin that he had never experienced before. 

Before he could help it, Squall was smiling silly. 

"What you smiling about?" 

Turning his head, he got entangled in orbs that were green like an enchanted forest, but a forest that was on fire and burning into him. Once more, the intensity brought warmth to spots of Squall's body that he didn't even know that he had. 

"Nothing." 

His lips quirked as he whipped his stare aside again quickly, away from Seifer and to the sea. There was only a slight breeze billowing the Balamb crest flags that lined the pier, and the water was fairly tranquil. A sparkling surface of endless blue and grey, deep and mysterious like the eyes of the boy that carried the name of a perfect storm. Those eyes were still warding themselves against pain and disappointment, protecting so earnestly what feelings were hidden beyond them. The wards were gradually crumpling though, lucid blue winning over distant grey more and more often. 

Mutely, Squall sighed. 

Forsaking his fears was difficult, so very difficult, but there was hope also. Maybe he wouldn't have to be afraid this time, maybe Seifer really cared for him. Even though that shallow, nocturnal voice in his head was telling him different, he believed that Seifer would not abandon him. Maybe because he wanted to believe it with all his heart, hoping as desperately as he was able to permit. He owed so much to that guy, and he wanted to give something back, even if it was something as trivial as friendship or fragile teenage affection. 

_ Oh yes. _

Squall was far from stupid. He knew what those feelings inside his stomach and his heart meant whenever he laid eyes on Seifer. Those feelings went beyond the mere platonic companionship he felt towards Zell and the others, he understood that much. Seifer was different. It was more than he had ever felt for Rinoa, but he wasn't sure whether it was powerful enough to qualify as 'love', either. By all means, he couldn't know. He had never been in love, and those emotions that quelled from his heart at the memory of his sis or the faded image of his mother weren't exactly identical with the ones momentarily unsettling him, either. 

Well, whatever those feelings were, they sure had their way with him. 

"It's beautiful." 

He hadn't noticed how Seifer had moved up next to him and was now gazing upon the ocean as well. Squall raised his head, looking at the profile of his friend with barely hidden interest. When Seifer turned to look down at him, eyes deeply colored with blue locked with his. 

"Is that why you took me here?" 

"…" 

Squall spared another thoughtful look at the vastness of the ocean and the seagulls soaring in a reddening sky, before he allowed himself to nod. Seifer's luminous features eased into a smile immediately, the kind of smile that raised the pressure in Squall's chest and throat another notch. Somehow, he felt that he should elaborate on his actions, which was definitely a first for the eighteen year old. 

"I thought you might enjoy it," he remarked insecurely, "You always did like the ocean." 

"Yeah. As did you." 

"I still do." 

Seifer had expected nothing else. 

"You always sat on the beach as a kid. I remember. You'd just stare at the water for hours." 

Thin dark brows arched in surprise at the comment. 

"How do you know about that?" 

"I watched you." 

It was a simple statement, but it carried infinite meaning. All those times, Squall had thought that he had been alone. Alone on the beach at the shores of the orphanage, crying because he missed his sis, a family, a home. Those were intimate memories that he had never meant to share with anyone, and he could feel his defenses rise at the face of shame and betrayal. 

"I always wished I could make your pain go away, but it wasn't in my place to do so, I guess. We were so young back then, too. I was an ass and you were impossible to reach," the blonde stated calmly. "Things are different now, I think. You aren't as tough and untouchable as you always pretend to be, and that's alright. You don't have to sit alone anymore, Squall." 

And once again, Seifer had walked through Squall's mental walls as if they meant nothing. As uncomfortable as this unexpected cognition of hurt privacy was, the words from Seifer's mouth were exactly the ones that the younger brunette had always been needing to hear. So often, he had wished that the ocean could just wash away his pain and his past, but maybe one man could do what the greatest force of nature could not. 

Squall's chest was heaving softly underneath silky blue fabric as he was standing motionless in the heart of the increasing winds. His lips tasted faintly of salt, and his hair was brushing into his face with feathery gentleness. Seifer was holding him captured simply by a look and a smile, clearing his mind from anything that had never deserved to be there. The gradually setting sun caressed Seifer's golden complexion and reflected in his hair like liquid gold, a sight that robbed Squall from both breath and reason. 

Very slowly, Seifer's large hand travelled forward to brush away the stray hair from Squall's forehead, caringly smoothing it behind his ear. His smile firmed and relaxed again, as did Squall's body at the touch. 

"Thank you." 

Squall blinked languidly with lids that hardly remembered how to perform the movement. For once, Seifer could read the shorter boy like an open book. His confusion was only too obvious, and adorable at that. 

"What for?" 

"First of all, for not hurling me off the edge of the pier because you found out I was watching ya when we were kids," he answered with an amused smirk, "And second because you took me here with you." 

The younger teen was obviously not used to reacting to thank you's, least of all when he had done everything in the intention of thanking _Seifer_ - not the other way around. Either way, he understood that he had picked wisely enough, but the evening had of course only started. There was still a thing or two that he had planned… 

_ 'Damn, which reminds me…' _

"We need to get going." 

It wasn't quite the reaction that Seifer had been hoping for, but wasn't so much different from what he had expected, either. Squall looked flustered, but he didn't necessarily seem unhappy, which was an achievement of sorts. Still, the blonde was starting to wonder how long he would be able to retain himself and his forward temper. The slow pace at which he was making progress was beginning to eat away on his already thinning patience. 

Nevertheless, he forced himself to hold a neutral expression and he nodded. 

"Yeah, guess so." 

They didn't talk at all on the rest of their way. Squall led him to the small, but exclusive restaurant "Harbour Seal" that was located right at the water. Seifer himself had never been to that corner of Balamb, and he wondered if Squall had eaten at the place with somebody else before. He felt a bitter twinge inside his heart at the thought, something that was much closer to jealousy than he liked. It wasn't like he had much reason to be jealous, either, since he had been infinitely more of a playboy than his brunette companion. He would have needed his own two hands and somebody else's to tick off all his lovers and amorous acquaintances. 

Still… the feeling was there, and before the two guys entered the "Harbour Seal" through the wide double doors, he couldn't help but ask. 

"You've been here with Rinoa, haven't ya?" 

Squall froze with the door knob in his hand, his eyes suddenly pinned to some indefinable spot on the colorfully stained glass windows. Very slowly, he managed to turn his head, and there was such disbelief in pools of thunderous grey that Seifer immediately regretted the question. 

_ 'Fuck, what's my problem? Dumbass me.' _

"I'm sorry." 

The brunette was still staring at him with an air that Seifer could not describe, and as a matter of fact Squall seemed to be looking through and beyond him rather than _at_ him, really. Maybe he was simply upset, but maybe he knew what deeper reasons were laying trapped inside that inconsiderate question. Either way, the young commander impressively succeeded at swallowing down the lump in his throat. 

"No reason to be." 

Stepping backwards, he pulled the door to a full open, a mute invitation for Seifer to enter. The older gunblader complied with the offer and finally set foot into the small foyer of the beautifully designed restaurant. It was furnished with gorgeous dark woods and navy blue fabrics, decorated with all sorts of marine equipment on the walls and at the bar that they could make out a little further inside the main eating space. Waiters and waitresses in neat black and white uniforms were taking orders and delivering food, while one of them was working at a small reception desk. Squall assertively approached the middle aged man with the fashionably blasé facial expression. 

"Good evening, Sir, how may I be of assistance?" the clerk drawled languidly. 

Seifer found the false politeness rather emetic, but for Squall's sake he didn't do or say anything obscene, as tempting as the opportunity was. His younger friend seemed entirely unimpressed as he placed one hand on his hip. 

"I have a reservation for a table for two at six o'clock tonight." 

"Ah, yes," the clerk said while casting a wry, snobbish glance at Seifer, who promptly stared back intimidatingly, "And the name is?" 

"Squall Leonhart." 

"Oh." 

Seifer's urge to vomit was evicted by the urge to remove a tooth or a dozen from the man's sudden mucilaginous smile. Of course the clerk had heard of Squall Leonhart, hero of the sorceress war, son of the president of Esthar and commander of the most influential military installation on the continent. The way everybody fell into a bootlicking pattern at the very sound of Squall's name did not only make Seifer sick, but Squall had apparently learned to deal with it months ago. 

"I sincerely apologize for making you wait, Mister Leonhart. Your table is of course ready, and the most favored in our house too, if I might add." 

With interest, Seifer studied how Squall merely nodded patiently. He really didn't seem the least bit impressed. 

"If you and…" the man cast another skewed look at the blonde and continued to smile unctuously, "… your guest would please follow me." 

_ 'And if you look at me again like that you'll be collecting those teeth off the floor here in a minute, sleaze.' _

Seifer resisted the temptation of treating the man to a free amateur dentist therapy and instead followed his lead and Squall's enticing rear view to their table. He wondered whether the brunette had insisted on its rather secluded location, but he had nothing to object. The restaurant was fairly crowded, and more than one not so subtle curious or lusting look followed their tails. It was satisfying to know that nobody would get to overly ogle Squall, or Seifer himself for that matter. 

This was their evening, and theirs alone. 

The table was nice, located right at the window and decorated with a beautiful seashell and candle arrangement. When he cast a look at the sunset over the ocean beyond their panoramic view, Seifer almost wished that they could sit outside, but he knew that the shores tended to get very cold after sundown, even during summer time. So this was quite alright. 

The waiter had apparently snatched a pair of menus from somewhere, and when the two guys sat down across from each other, he laid them out before them with a slight bow. 

"If you would like to have a look at our menu, your waitress will be right with you and inform you of today's special." 

Squall dismissed the man with a curt nod that teased Seifer to a provocative smirk. Trying not to embarrass his date was certainly more difficult than he had expected, but he was going to make this work. If this was Squall's world, then he would try to be a part of it. 

"I thought he'd never leave," Squall growled silently. 

Seifer took that as a sign that it was alright to chuckle in amusement. 

"No shit. Is it always like this when you go out?" 

"I don't go out," Squall stated plainly. 

"Oh. Right." 

Of course. Squall had never been the party animal of Garden, unlike his blonde companion or some of his friends, so the fact that the brunette had taken him out for a date really warmed Seifer's insides, and his earlier frustration was almost forgotten. 

Devoid of anything else to say, Seifer decided to emerge himself into the stunningly artsy menu. When his eyes found the numbers next to the various items, though, he hissed loudly. 

"What?! A hundred gil for a stinking piece of _fish_?!" 

Squall was watching him out of orbs half-hidden behind thick dark lashes as he had inclined his gaze, and he smiled. 

"That's quite alright." 

"Hell no, it's not! For a hundred gil I can go and catch us a fish _and_ send it off to fucking college!" 

The brunette chuckled low at Seifer's outrage. He was aware of the sky rocketing prices, but it wasn't like he couldn't afford it. On top of that, it wasn't like Seifer wasn't _worth_ it, either… 

"Don't worry about it and pick something you want." 

"Damn, Squall, this is gonna cost a fortune." 

"I'll give myself a raise tomorrow okay, so pick something already." 

Before Seifer could object any further, a highly surprised voice suddenly interrupted them. 

"Seifer?" 

Still clutching their menus, both of them looked up in irritation. Squall didn't recognize the platinum haired figure in the waitress uniform right away, but when his eyes locked with pools that had the color of expensive crimson wine, he vaguely remembered. Not that he really needed to, as the blonde across from him bellowed the girl's name louder than was really appropriate for the establishment. 

"Fu?!" 

She glanced back and forth between both of them, if only with one eye. The other was mostly hidden by a curtain of silvery-white bangs that trailed into her face. Didn't she use to wear an eye patch? Squall could not remember. Either way, her hands almost dropped the notepad she had been holding, and the usually stone faced expression that Squall had thus far associated her with had been shattered. 

"What are _you_ doing here?" Seifer called out in surprise. 

"Work," she stuttered blankly. 

_ "Here?"_

Squall studied her narrow figure with interest. He hadn't seen Fujin in a long time, and she had changed dramatically. Her appearance was softer somehow, and the delicate shirt she was wearing left no room to doubt that she was indeed female. For a while there, he had seriously been debating her gender. She was still staring at both of them in shock, but her former strength and self-assurance quickly returned. 

And with it came curiosity. 

"Seifer. Balamb? Why?" 

Obviously, she still hadn't learned to talk in full sentences. 

"We were worried." 

Then again, maybe she had. 

"I was at Garden," Seifer explained, "I had no idea you were here! Where's Raijin?" 

"Kitchen. Not today. He's sick." 

"Oh. Why are you working _here_ of all places?" 

"Need. They took us. We were hoping you'd come to Balamb." 

"Well, I was already here. Shit, I had no clue." 

"Why Garden?" 

Seifer shot a quick glance at Squall, who had been watching the scene with subtle interest. He figured that Squall was not familiar with the details of the arrangement that Seifer had originally made with Cid, and he thought it better to keep it that way. 

"Ah, just wanted to see my old school again and shit. I had no idea where you guys were." 

They were interrupted by somebody clearing their throat next to them rather loudly. It was the clerk that had led Squall and Seifer to their table, and he looked more than just slightly displeased. 

"Excuse me, but is there a problem?" 

Before Squall was able to reply, Fujin had shaken her head. 

"No. Sorry." 

"Right. If you would continue with your work then, Miss Takaira." 

Again, the platinum blonde nodded. Seifer threw the disappearing figure of the man a lethal scowl, before focusing on his female friend again. She had uncapped a pen and was looking at them with an air of profession. 

"We talk later. Order." 

She looked at Squall, who reciprocated the gaze quietly. It was strange for her to see those two men together at one table without hurling food at each other like they had done as kids. The brunette had matured a little more over the months, she thought, his face still soft but without any traces of childhood in either his eyes or his posture. There was something else different about him, too, though she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Being a woman, she had always been aware of Seifer's fascination with the young SeeD, and she understood her friend well. Squall had always been quite the sight to behold, ever since his childhood. And a look at Seifer told her that the blonde was extremely relaxed and comfortable in his SeeD friend's company. The former, after-war traces of faint darkness had yielded from the depths of his eyes, leaving them bright and green like shiny gems of emerald. 

Overall, she decided, it was a good thing to see them together. 

"Squall. Ready?" 

He returned to the menu and neutrally ordered a glass of water, a salad and a fish with a name that Seifer couldn't even pronounce. She took notes and diverted her attention towards her friend. 

"Seifer?" 

"Any… suggestions?" 

"Wine. Salad. Bass." 

Seifer exchanged looks with his companion, and the brunette smiled ever so slightly. 

"Sure, sounds good." 

He watched her quickly scribbling some more notes onto her pad before she returned it to her long white apron with a snap. He just could not believe that his friend Fujin was working as a waitress. However had she managed to get that job with her extensive vocabulary? 

"Back soon. Fun, you two." 

Squall guessed that she meant 'have fun', and he blushed slightly as he watched her take the menus and return to the front of the restaurant. What had she been thinking when she saw the two of them together, he wondered? He really hadn't expected to meet anyone he knew at that place. He didn't necessarily mind so much, as he had never cared what everyone else thought about him, but it was weird nonetheless. 

"Wow. Really didn't expect to be running into her!" Seifer vocalized his companion's thoughts. 

"No. Me either." 

"It has only been a few weeks, but she looks so different. She actually looks like a woman for once." 

Squall chuckled lightly. 

"Yeah." 

"She has a crush on Raijin, for whatever reason. Too bad he ain't here." 

"How do you know?" 

"That she likes him? I have an eye for those kind of things." 

Squall swallowed dryly and quickly darted his gaze to the flickering flame of the candle on their table as he felt Seifer's eyes on himself. The heat that rushed through his body at the attentive look over was both uncomfortable and pleasant at the same time. Of course, he knew perfectly well that Seifer had only been kidding, but what if not? What if he was aware of Squall's feelings and the turmoil in his heart? 

Would that be good or bad? 

"You seem like you're afraid I'm gonna suck your brain through your eyes if you look at me." 

The typical Seifer smirk was firmly in place when Squall finally did pierce him with a blank stare, if only out of defiance. That amused the blonde even more, and he laughed good-naturedly. 

"No worries. It's not your _brain_ I'm interested in." 

Squall lowered his brows at the seductive comment. What was that supposed to mean again? __

'Okay, Almasy, tone it down a notch. Being a little obvious. Your fault if he jumps and runs screaming if you keep going like this.' 

Quickly, Seifer cleared his throat. 

"Anyway, thanks for taking me here. I'm not really sure how I deserved this, but I appreciate it." 

If there was a perfect moment for vocalizing his gratitude, Squall realized that this had to be the one. Biting his lips, he desperately roamed the back of his head for the right things to say, but all he could do was admire Seifer's figure in the dim light of the candle and the waning sunshine from the horizon. Gathering his last residual bits of courage around him, he took a deep breath. 

"I… you… I should thank _you_." 

"Me? Why?" Seifer asked with surprise. 

"I owe you a lot." 

"Why would you owe me anything?" 

The lack of understanding in Seifer's voice was sincere. He really didn't feel like he had done anything out of the ordinary. Squall had been in trouble. Seifer loved Squall. So he had helped him, what was so unusual about that? 

What Seifer did not realize was the fact that Squall had never received unconditional comfort and support like he had from the blonde. A feeling of safety and trust, consisting of an open ear that always listened to every little thing Squall had to say, eyes that shone with sincerity and a pair of strong arms he could drown himself in if need be. 

There were those as well as a billion other things that Squall wanted to thank Seifer for, but where were those damned words when you needed them? 

"You… you helped me… through the past weeks… I don't know how you did it, but you did. Without you, I… I…" 

At the sight of raw emotion swirling turbulently in Squall's eyes, every part of Seifer's body came to a perfect still. The last time he had seen Squall so helpless and frantic, the boy had flung himself into his arms, and this time he looked like he was about to break out in tears. 

Had his feelings really run that deep? 

Had he really made that much of a difference? 

The answer was right there in the corners of those azure blue depths, pooling like liquid crystals against a surface of bare sentiment. The wards had crumpled away, and Squall was finally letting him see the world that had been hidden beyond them; A world so fragile and vulnerable that it would shatter irreparably at the faintest onslaught. Squall had had every reason to mistrust people. He was so infinitely more delicate behind his stubborn defenses than Seifer had ever anticipated. 

Somehow, that realization scared him. 

Would he be able to protect something that could break so easily? 

Would he be able to protect Squall against all the things that meant to harm him? 

And again, he only needed to keep losing himself in those eyes. If there was anything worth fighting for, it was what he found right there. He had never been a man to give up, and he wasn't planning on breaking that habit. This was what he wanted, and this was what he was going to get. 

"Shhh." He shook his head slowly, his face lighting up with a smile. "I know." 

Carefully, he took one of Squall's hands that had been resting atop the table and was able to turn it over without receiving any resistance. With one finger, he gently traced the scar etched into the pale ivory palm, and his eyes connected with Squall's, who was staring at him out of wide, unaided blue lagoons that had kindled with understanding. 

"This will heal with time," Seifer breathed softly, "And so will everything else." 

Biting down the tears, Squall cast his gaze at his hand that was so gently cupped by Seifer's. Yes, he would heal. He had finally found a reason to. Scars faded with time, and memories that once were caustic with pain would dull like the pages of an aging book. 

He just had to let them. 

"I know." 

He smiled shyly, and Seifer could read the fear of rejection in that expression. He wanted to show Squall that there was nothing to be afraid of, but he couldn't use the moment to its full potential, because another waiter showed up next to them to deliver their ordered drinks and the salads. When his arduously exercised instincts kicked back in, Squall quickly retracted his hand. Seifer watched calmly how Squall choked down his disarrangement and replaced a somewhat neutral expression as he thanked the waiter. 

_ 'So easily distracted, aren't you. I know you are afraid. You should just trust me. I'm not going to hurt you.' _

After the man had disappeared and they had quietly started to pick at their salads, Seifer realized that he had to ease the tension between them or Squall was not going to say a single word for the rest of the night. After studying the brunette for a few minutes through lowered lashes, he noticed something that had slipped his attention before. 

"Hey, I thought you used to wear an earring?" 

Thoughtfully, Squall touched his left earlobe before he shook his head, causing long tresses of chocolate hair to dance into his face. 

"I did, but I took it out. Rinoa didn't like it, she said it looked…" 

He broke off immediately, his expression glooming in the matter of an instant. Quickly, he reverted to stabbing his fork at the sliced tomatoes on his plate. Unfortunately for him, Seifer had understood only to well. 

"She said it looked what? Gay?" 

Squall twitched at the word, and his scowl only gained in strength. Of course, that was exactly what Rinoa had said. Squall wasn't one to change for others, but that comment back then had bothered him so much that he had taken the earring out. 

"So that bothered you, I'm guessing." 

The brunette didn't pick up on the probing under shadow to Seifer's voice. After all, he really hadn't thought far enough to give himself, or anyone else for that matter, the label 'gay'. The possibility that Seifer could be exactly _that_ was totally beyond him. Squall merely hated to look like anything in particular, and certainly not gay or like a girl, as Seifer had called him often enough. 

"No. Yes. No. I mean…" 

He was shaking his head and nodding it at the same time, and Seifer found that confusion so adorable that he decided not to pry any further for the time being. There were other ways to find out the truth than to shadow and imply, and definitely more effective ways at that. Squall was too much on his guard to fall for simple traps like that, even if he did not sense them. 

Very soon after that, Fujin reappeared with two plates of fish entrée that turned out to be absolutely fabulous. Unfortunately, Fujin couldn't stick around for more conversation, but Seifer enjoyed the meal without her company all the same. He definitely had to revoke his initial judgement of the restaurant; He had never tasted a better seafood dish. 

Squall seemed to be enjoying his order, too, though he wasn't saying much. He did glance at Seifer occasionally, though, and asked whether he liked his food. Seifer made sure to thank him again for the invitation, which only resulted in an increase in Squall's embarrassment. Nonetheless, he was beaming with joy over Seifer's approval. Ice prince or not, the blonde's judgement meant a lot to him. 

Overall, Squall decided after he had finished, the evening had been a success. Now he just had to give Seifer the surprise that he had picked up for him earlier during the day. Luckily he had managed to slip it inside his pocket at the car without Seifer noticing. Actually giving it to the blonde would be a whole different story, though. 

Finally, he called Fujin for the check. She brought it promptly, and while Squall was roaming his wallet for an appropriate credit card, the platinum blonde girl fisted her hands on her hips and glared down at Seifer. 

"Seifer. Balamb Garden, how much longer?" 

Squall had to resist the urge to yank up his head at the question. While his fingers searched aimlessly through his wallet, his ears were perked up, waiting for Seifer's reply. 

"Well," Seifer answered casually, "Don't really know." 

"Purpose?" 

"Nothing in particular. Just hanging out with our little commander here," he smirked, jabbing his thumb in Squall's direction. 

The brunette still didn't raise up. 

"We miss you," Fujin added reluctantly, "Stay in Garden?" 

"Nah, not much longer, but we'll talk about that some other time, Fu." 

Squall's eyes shattered wide. 

_ ..::: "Nah, not much longer." :::.._

Had Seifer had any idea what those words were doing to Squall, he never would have given sound to them. When the brunette understood that Seifer had no plans of staying with him any longer than necessary, his chest constricted painfully. 

_ .. He is going to leave. .. _

.. Just like everyone else. .. 

Seifer had never planned on staying with him. He was merely a pastime for the blonde, a feeble source of amusement, if even. 

Who had he been trying to fool? 

The pain was nothing compared to the anger he felt inside his heart at his own stupidity. He had been so blind, so gullible. Of course Seifer had no intentions of staying, why would he? There was nothing for him worth staying for. He had his friends and his quirk for travelling and adventures. The last thing he would want was to be strung down in his former school with his former rival. 

Just how oblivious could one person be? 

No wonder it hurt. Stupidity of that dimension deserved to be punished. 

Forcing down the bitter tears, Squall roughly shoved his credit card and the check with the added gratuity into Fujin's hands without looking at her. He didn't see the surprise in her expression or Seifer's at the rude gesture, he merely nailed his gaze to the blackened sea outside the window. 

"Back… in a moment," the girl stated almost insecurely before she left. 

Seifer had his eyes fixed upon Squall, who had his face turned away from him as far as he could. The older blonde knew immediately that something was wrong. Cursing Squall's ability to change moods with the speed of the light, he tilted his head in concern and allowed his face to be darkened by a frown. 

"Squall?" 

The brunette ignored him persistently. 

"Hello?" 

No reaction. 

"What's wrong?" 

Nothing at all. 

"Squall, talk to me, okay? What's the matter?" 

At loss for any other means of rooting Squall's attention, he leaned across the table and grasped the younger boy's shoulder. Instantly, he felt the lithe muscles tighten at the touch of his hand, but Squall had already slammed his arm to the side before he was able to do anything about it. Thunderstruck, he gaped at the brunette, whose temper was obviously flaring for a reason that Seifer did not understand. 

"Don't touch me," Squall hissed venomously after he had lashed out at his opposite. 

His eyes only shot a brief death glare at Seifer, but the blonde could identify their color and the emotion swaying within them nonetheless. 

Grey like a void of oblivion. 

Hate towards a person that Seifer could only guess to be him. 

He understood nothing. 

"What's gotten into _you_?" 

"None of your business." 

Seifer's eyebrows raised, particularly so when he witnessed how Squall shot up from his seat and coldly grasped his card from Fujin, who had barely returned. The girl and the blonde gunblader exchanged confused looks before Seifer scrambled to his feet quickly to follow his companion, who had already reached the door. 

"Fuck, sorry Fu, talk to ya later okay, come visit at Garden or something. Gotta go." 

She had no chance to give a reply, however curt it might have been. Seifer had bolted from the restaurant and out into the night at neck breaking speed. Only a few feet ahead of him was Squall, sharply walking towards the parking lot as only a fading shadow against the black distance. Seifer actually had to fall into a sprint to catch up with him, and he wasn't pleased. 

"Will you fucking stop and tell me what's wrong? What did I do?" 

He had almost forgotten how well Squall played the silent game, but he was once again painfully reminded of the boy's ability to wholly ignore anyone around him. Trying to physically slow him down didn't seem like a good idea when taking the fact that they were right next to the water into consideration. He'd have to make Squall submit to his questions by other means. 

Yelling in frustration seemed like his only choice. 

"Squall? Squall! Fuck, stop running away and talk to me!" 

The brunette was persistently staring ahead, stone faced to such an extent that it angered Seifer more than anything else. For the life of him, he could not understand why the younger was suddenly so upset. The bill couldn't have been that high, could it? No, he hadn't snapped until Seifer had been talking to Fujin. 

"For fuck's sake Squall, STOP!" 

Squall's heart was screaming in pain at every of Seifer's words. He didn't want to stop. He just wanted to get away before he would lose the fight against his own body and collapse as a crying wreck. His soul was an abyss of disappointment and the bitter feeling that really, he should have known better. 

..::: "Squall Leonhart means nothing to anybody. :::..  
..::: "Nobody loves you. Nobody even gives a damn about you. :::..  
..::: "You are as cold as ice, Squall. How could anyone love you?" :::..  
..::: "You will never change." :::.. 

Burying his head in his right hand, Squall continued his flight from his feelings and his agony, all the while blocking out Seifer's desperate attempts of breaking through to him and the darkness that enfolded his heart like a blanket of shadows. 

He was so sick of it all. 

** ~To be continued!~ **

++++++++++++++ 

Oh my, I know this turned out exceptionally long, but I decided against breaking it up somewhere in the middle. I probably made a bunch of mistakes that Spell Checker didn't pick up on, but because I read through the whole chapter so many times my mind is probably tricking me into believing they aren't there ^_- Either way, I can't believe this is 7000 words long and you actually reached the bottom of it ^_^ Thanks so much for reading!

Anything I'd like to add about the chapter... well, I know it's long and Squall and Seifer switch moods quite a bit, but that's how I imagine they would have a 'date'. I don't think it'd be easy for them to just slip right into the scene and enjoy themselves without trouble. They are, after all, as Avatar Infidel named them so well, the 'Angsty Duo' ^_^ And angst there will be, rest assured of that °_°!

And before I forget... the date isn't over yet... maybe Seifer will get to correct the fact that he was talking out of his arse there... but maybe not... ^_- New chapter coming up soon! 


	40. Mistaken

**

~Let Me Make It Alright~ 

**

Chapter 40: Mistaken 

++++++++++++++ 

Cursing at the top of his lungs, Seifer had actually been chasing Squall all the way to the car. He was tripping over his own feet more than once in the darkness of the proceeding night, flailing his arms for balance and raising his voice in futile anger. For a moment, he went from roughly swearing at Squall, to swearing at Balamb City's mayor for not installing any street lanterns along the harbor. When Squall wordlessly circled the car and jumped into the driver seat of his convertible though, Seifer instantly remembered who the _original_ cause for his uproar had been. 

"What the _fuck_ are you doing, Squall? What-" 

When he saw how Squall violently thrust the silver car key into the key hole and flipped it around to start the engine, his fervid words abruptly jarred inside his already hoarse throat. 

"Goddamn it!!!" 

Quickly, Seifer flung himself across the door and into his seat, and not one second too early. Squall mercilessly floored the gas pedal, which caused Seifer's head to connect sharply with his headrest. Stars were dancing in front of Seifer's eyes at the impact, and for a minute, his vision was blurred and his body was protesting vigorously against Squall's harsh driving. The brunette, however, seemed rather unperturbed and devoid of any regrets as he was hauling the Estharian sports car out of the parking lot and out of the city. 

Groaning, Seifer turned around in his seat. 

"Fuck, Squall, you're gonna get us killed!" 

He hadn't seriously expected a reaction to his chiding, and of course, Squall didn't prove his presentiments wrong, either. The brunette's gaze was nailed to the road in self destructive ignorance, with skin that was paling sickly in the moonlight and eyes that were looking strangely hollow. Whether or not he had live cargo on board apparently did not concern him in the least on his reckless drive out of the city. 

While Seifer was once again resorting to cursing at the younger boy, he desperately tried to remember what the hell it was that he had done to provoke such dire fury. For the life of both of them, he could not figure it out, and his head was starting to spin painfully. 

"Stop the _fucking_ car and talk to me!" 

Gradually losing his cool, he slammed the side of his right hand into the glove box with brute force, and he glared at his driver out of dangerously glinting, virulent green eyes. 

Squall didn't do so much as flinch. 

"I swear to fucking Hyne, I'm gonna jump out if you don't stop the fucking car!" Seifer growled threateningly. 

As a reply, Squall's eyes narrowed, and he wordlessly shifted gears with a few fierce movements, thus increasing the already lethal speed of their vehicle. Once again, Seifer found himself thrown back into his seat and robbed of his flattened breath. 

"You're crazy, I swear, you fucking lost it!" Seifer gasped in shock. 

The engine was howling and grinding as Squall slammed his foot down onto the gas pedal once more. He couldn't possibly coax any more speed out of his car, but he was willing to try it rampantly all the same. 

Blonde hair was whipping sharply into Seifer's face, and he felt the insides of his stomach churning unpleasantly. He actually went so far as to curl his hand around his armrest, to support himself against the strong centrifugal force created by Squall hurling them across windy roads and narrow turns. The loud wind rendered every attempt of talking to the riotous brunette useless, and soon Seifer's throat was so scratchy that he quit yelling altogether. 

Silently, and praying to Hyne that he would make it out of that vehicle in one piece, Seifer melted into his seat. He kept glaring at Squall, but he could as well have tried to glare down a brick wall; the effect, most likely, would have been the same. His eyes had avoided the speed meter ever since they had flown by the 200km/h marker, and he had come to the conclusion that it'd be wiser to sulk in silence rather than to distract Squall from his reckless driving. 

The brunette _was_ the only thing that stood between them and the fate of ending up as nasty dead splatter on the road, after all. 

In the end, their five minute trip from the city to the Garden garage had seemed considerably longer than anything that Seifer had ever had to endure, including all of his school exams and forced reading hours in the library. He decided against thanking his berserk driver for not killing him after all, dreading that Squall would change his mind and put an end to their miserable lives at last by steering into the next best tree or ditch. 

Squall did nothing of the like. Instead, he reached over and popped the glove box in front of Seifer, which promptly swung open and hit the sensitive spot on the blonde's knees. Jumping at the acute pain, and of course once again cursing, Seifer watched out of tear rimmed jade eyes how his brunette torturer produced a small, black remote control. Quietly, he thumbed a couple of buttons, which caused the gates to the underground garage to open and grant them admittance. 

Carelessly, Squall tossed the remote back into its respective container, which he slammed shut with a loud crack that suggested a broken lock. Seifer cringed at the sound and was half-tempted to grab a hold of Squall's wrist, but the younger had already returned his hand to the steering wheel. 

Somehow, Squall managed not to hit one of the garage's concrete pillars or walls and safely brought the car to a halt in a secluded parking spot. They had barely come to a full spot, when he was already out and stomping towards the exit, with a speed that again and again succeeded in amazing his blonde companion. This time, however, Seifer was following his friend closely, as he had been well prepared for another rampant take-off. 

"Squall! Squall!!!" 

Within seconds, they had flown by the vehicle office and reached the main hall, which was completely deserted. Most students spent their free Friday nights either downtown or in their rooms, having more or less legal private parties that usually consisted of illicit drinking and naughty spin-the-bottle games. Seifer knew all about it, but had other things on his mind as he was charging past the beautiful Garden fountain and after his out-of-control rival. 

"Will you fucking stop?! Squall! Hey, I'm fucking talking to you!" 

Needless to say, Squall appeared unwilling to acknowledge Seifer's presence as he stubbornly led the way. Hating nothing more than being ignored, the blonde picked up his pace until he finally caught up with his friend. Quickly, he snapped his hand forward and took a firm hold of Squall's shoulder, roughly severing the younger gunblader's flight and spinning him around to face him. 

Both having been forced to halt in their steps, they were staring at each other mutely in the center of Balamb Garden's main hall. Squall's look was that of pure venom as he tightened his muscles and violently tried to shake off Seifer's arm, but the older blonde was completely unwilling to let go. Concerned, he studied Squall's face. The earlier warmth and softness had yielded completely from the SeeD's eyes, leaving them cold and devoid of even the slightest spark of gentleness. 

_ 'Why the fuck is he so angry? He's been mad at me a bunch of times, but why this? Fuck, give me a break.' _

"Squall-" 

Once more, Seifer was cut short when he saw how Squall quietly raised his left hand towards his face; a gesture that was both simple and dangerous in nature. A strange, bodiless purplish black glow was flowing from the boy's pale fingers and pooling in his palm; an unmistakable sign of an erecting spell. Judging by its minacious color, it was no incantation to take lightly, either. At best, it was merely a thundaga, at worst, an ultima that would be able to knock Seifer out on the spot. 

"You wouldn't…" the blonde gulped. 

"If you don't take your hands off me, Almasy, I swear you'll be sorry." 

The threat in Squall's voice was sharper than the edge of a razor's blade. There was no doubt left in Seifer's mind that the brunette _would_ hit him with a spell, even if he had nothing to defend himself with. Again, the blonde cursed his own laziness as a spell collector; he would have given much for a shell that moment, or anything for that matter. 

Rendered without any real means to oppose his shorter rival's temper, Seifer very slowly retracted his hand. Whatever mistake it was that he had made, he finally realized that it must have been a grave one. Never, not once, had Squall ever threatened to attack him, particularly not when he had been completely unarmed. 

It wasn't like Squall at all. 

Mutely, Seifer tried to hold the SeeD's attention for as long as he could. Squall was standing before him like a roughly jotted down picture, breath tumbling low from his chest in an erratic rhythm and dark eyes narrow in attentive rage. Despite his open display of fury and resentment, though, the boy hadn't run away yet. Maybe there was a slim chance that he would listen this time around, instead of punishing his opposite with stubborn ignorance and callousness. 

Just as Seifer was about to raise his voice again, though, somebody was squealing deafeningly from a loudspeaker located somewhere in the distance behind him. 

The blonde almost jumped in terror. 

_ "Hiiiii all, it's me again, Selphie! What are you all doing hooooome? You should be out having fuuuun! Oops, guess I'm here, too, hihi. I'm stuck in the office sorting papers, blaaaaaa! Damn you, Quisty! Hah, but at least I get to mess with the intercom!" _

Both boys groaned at the high-pitched static giggle that followed. Apparently, Selphie had taken control of the microphone in Squall's office, and the brunette SeeD commander wasn't pleased. 

_ "Sooooooo anyway, I have this cooooool CD with me and thought I'd share it with all you poooooooor guys and girls that had to stay home like me! It's something for the love birds, yay! Ohh… Irvyyyyyy where are youuu?" _

Another giggle followed, but before Seifer could be forced to listen to any other mush that Selphie possibly had to share, his attention was once again split. Squall had distracted him by rolling his dark grey eyes towards the ceiling and spinning around to resume his flight to their apartment, or wherever else he was headed. 

For the length of a moment, the blonde seriously considered to just let Squall go. He was getting sick of chasing a childish eighteen year old that was obviously not interested in talking to him. How could he possibly fix a slip-up if Squall wouldn't even tell him what he had done wrong? 

Maybe he should just give in and hope that Squall would calm down eventually. 

Then again… 

_ 'No. No, fuck this. You ain't getting away this easily. Not this time.' _

Growling like a predator, Seifer shook off his doubts and carried forth in his pursuit. He hadn't spent weeks raking together his last bits of patience to just give up like that. He had been treating the younger boy with velvet gloves, always making sure not to unsettle him or his wayward temper, and apparently he hadn't done Squall a favor by doing so. 

If the brunette really thought that he could run off and pout like a snotty little brat, he was mistaken. 

**~To be continued!~ **

++++++++++++++

Ah yes, I know this took a while, and it's really short also -_- Originally, this was part of the next chapter, but I decided against posting it in one whole chunk, because I wanted to emphasize the change that Seifer undergoes. I guess you could say that he finally lost his patience. Maybe you can figure out why I named the chapter "Mistaken", there is a reason behind that ^_^ Yes, mistake #1: Squall thinks he can be a snotty little brat. But what other mistakes can you spot ^_^? 

Anyway, I guess you could take this as a teaser of sorts. I'll be posting the next (longer ^_^) chapter either tomorrow or in a couple of days, since I will be busy with my hubby before he gets deployed ^_- 

Thank you TONS for the sweet sweet reviews, cookies for all *shapes some horrible looking Squall and Seifer cookies* ooops… guess I need to practice… sorry sorry sorry -_- 

By the way, is anyone here really good with punctuation? Lately I have been very insecure when it comes to putting commas, and it's driving me nuts @_@ Every sentence I sit here now going "there... no... there? no can't be..." maybe that's why it's taking me so long to update ^_- The mad punctuation fairy got meh *_* Anyway, if you spot some mistakes that I am making, please lemme know! I'm forgetting all rules that I once learned concerning that stuff -_- 


	41. Alright

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 41: "Alright"

After a brief jog through the facility, Seifer had managed to catch up with Squall in the hallway, shorty before their apartment door. The brunette was already clutching his key card in his left hand, ready to swipe it across his door scanner and disappear out of view and trouble.

In the end, he never got around to it.

With acute swiftness and the advantage of surprise on his side, Seifer had taken a swift hold of Squall's bony left wrist. Without granting the brunette the slightest chance of reacting to the unexpected onslaught, Seifer had already yanked his fragile body around and let it thud against the wall. When Squall's back connected sharply with the cold metal tapestry covering the hallway, his hand lost hold of his key card and his sight blackened momentarily at the harsh contact of delicate bones with concrete.

Squall's breath had been torn violently from his chest at the surprise, leaving him winded and gasping for air in shock as he felt Seifer gradually moving into him. Startled at the sensation, he haphazardly tried to raise his right hand in a miserable attempt of pushing the other away, but it was to no avail. The blonde was claiming his second wrist with repetitive ease, now firmly pinning both of the shorter boy's arms against the wall behind him.

Staring in disbelief out of wide, truculent grey eyes, Squall dimly realized that he was trapped.

For the length of a moment, the younger gunblader was too stunned to do much of anything. Seifer was towering merely an inch in front of him, while keeping possession of his arms so effortlessly that it brought Squall's insides to a boil. He tried to struggle free of the confining hold, though he soon had to realize that it was but useless. Seifer was using the advantage he held over Squall in both size and strength all too wisely, and there was no way that the smaller brunette would be able to twist his arms free by mere physical endeavour. The more he fought, the further Seifer edged towards him. In the end, the blonde's large body was folded almost completely against Squall's, every inch of it a means of molding the petulant SeeD against the wall.

Hissing in frustration, Squall lowered his gaze from Seifer's stoic, unimpressed face and gave his captured wrists yet another angry, if futile, tug.

After about another minute of further inane resistance, the brunette Garden Commander finally managed to call himself to mind who he was and what hidden strength was bound in him. Quickly replacing his disarrayed mask of utter imminence, he deliberately darkened his gaze and funnelled his keen mental energies in the best display of menace that his cornered self could come up with.

Seifer noticed the change in Squall's posture immediately and flicked his glance aside. When he saw the familiar nocturnal glow intensifying in the palm of Squall's trapped left hand, he snarled ironically and fixed Squall with a pitiful green stare.

"You can ultima me all the fuck you want, Squall, I'll still make you tell me what the hell is wrong with you."

Silently measuring their strength and their position in this struggle, storm grey eyes were burning wrathfully into dauntless green ones. The breath that escaped Squall's lips was laden with hate, fury and shock; sentiments reflecting in both speed and force of the innate ritual of sucking air through gritted teeth and pushing it back out, while he was inwardly shifting in anger and annoyance.

It was only too easy for Seifer to read those heated emotions in each of Squall's movements and the obfuscation of his natively ethereal aura. There was, however, one riddle that Seifer couldn't decipher, one sensation that he didn't wholly understand. Oh yes, he knew that Squall was angry over something that he had done, but what was that smouldering, unsteady glow caught in the depths of those rancorous storm blue eyes that so frantically tried to hold his gaze?

_ 'Could it be…' _

He had seen that glow before, so many times. Still, it took him a fraction of forever to unveil its real meaning.

_ 'No… it couldn't… why would he…' _

When truth finally dawned him, his formerly narrowed eyes fluttered wide at his hideous mistake.

"Squall…" he whispered leadenly.

_ ..: Pain. :.. _

There was _pain_, no matter how desperately Squall was trying to hide it behind his crumpling façade of anger and resentment. For the first time, Seifer truly understood that he had _hurt_ Squall. He hadn't simply stirred his temper like he had originally assumed, he had seriously made something inside Squall ache. More frantically now, he was frisking his memories for something, _anything_, that he had done to provoke such touching agony.

Above all, though, he was searching for a means to undo his mistake and make everything alright again.

Squall didn't comprehend the sudden change in Seifer's voice and eyes, but he knew that his own defenses were caving in. Being so close to this man wasn't doing his bitter mood any good, and his own nervousness belied every cold thought towards the blonde that he had so desperately tried to conjure up.

He wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

Seifer and Squall were consumed by each other and the cryptic difficulty of their emotions, but even so, the quiet melody of a song, which was carried softly from a small speaker in the ceiling, finally phased into their ears and their attention.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter.  
_

After a first initial moment of surprise, Seifer could see how something inside Squall was faltering at the gentle power of those unexpected words, words sung by a man they did not know and whose voice they had never heard before. The brunette fought bravely for his composure, but regardless of his inward struggles, his body was trembling forcefully when he snapped his head aside to stare at anything but Seifer.

When the light of the lethal incantation slowly faded into the ivory of Squall's hand, so did the anger in his cast-down eyes, and his formerly hard gaze grew clouded. There were no tears in those dulled grey windows to his soul, but deep inside, he had been crying for far too long.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

For once, Seifer was at an utter loss for words. They were standing in the middle of a deserted hallway, Squall firmly trapped between him and the wall, both of them listening to a song that was breaking their hearts in its simplicity and the way it fit them all too perfectly.

_ '"Reach… for the love… that is all around"…?' _

Squall drew a jagged lungful of air, his eyes so wide when he finally glanced back up that Seifer lost himself in an enthralling maze of endless grey and blue. Unguarded and mistrusting, hopeful and cracked in spirit, so many contradictions were in said eyes, as were in the relationship of Seifer and Squall itself.

_ ..: Seifer and Squall. :.. _

Rivals, friends and young men that had no idea of life and love and the theurgic bond that would probably weld them together until the end of their time.

Never reaching out, yet never letting go.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

If anything, Squall's life had been a void of loneliness and martyrdom before Seifer's return; a mere shadow of a fragile boy's existence cut off from the stream of life, barely a jagged blueprint of an eighteen year old hero that should have been shining brighter than the sun.

Should have, yet never had.

Throughout months of darkness, death and life had melted together infinitely and joined into a fatal alliance that had had little rivalry. Eventually, its power had grown so strong that Squall had decided that he no longer cared whether he lived or died. At some point, he had simply given up, and surrendered his will to the dark spirits that sought to destroy his present and his future.

It all had seemed futile, somehow.

But then, out of nowhere, there had come hope, softly bathing everything in light that had once threatened to collapse into shadow.

_ ..: Hope :.. _

Somehow, hope had always shone in the color of Seifer's eyes.

No matter how low Squall had ever fallen, Seifer had always picked him back up. No matter how frozen his heart had been, Seifer had warmed it with the simplicity and complexity that was love, saving Squall's life in more ways than either of them would ever be able to understand.

Strong, kind and selfless, Seifer had finally become the knight that he had always wished to be.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

One knight had battled all shadows, all demons and all fears, and when Squall's breath was gently setting in his chest like a leaf that was floating to the ground ever so softly, Seifer realized that none of his efforts had been in vain. Maybe he would never be able to give sound to his thoughts, to tell Squall just how deep exactly his feelings ran, but maybe it _was_ alright, even so.

Either way, he would not let go.

Even the coldest of all hearts needed a little bit of warmth, and even the smallest of lights could drive out the darkness, that much Seifer had learned in the turbulent weeks that he had spent with his delicate friend, the secret desire of his heart.

And thus he swore, that before his soul would be buried under the earth or soar free in the sky, he would show Squall that he was loved, if not by words then by actions.

Actions that spoke a language that even the ice prince would understand.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

Seifer sighed as he calmly studied his opposite's ethereal features, and he let his conscience drown in the song that assured them that everything would somehow be okay. An unknown voice knew so well just what to say, knew so well how to crystallize those confusing feelings in Seifer's heart. It also knew of Squall's haunting fears at the concept of love and need, and it knew of his one true wish that would bleed from one mere night into infinity and beyond.

_ ..: "Stay with me tonight." :.. _

Maybe it was magic, maybe it wasn't, but above all things, it was working.

All his life, Seifer had been waiting for the right moment in time, the moment to offer all he was and ever had been to the boy that he loved, and when he felt Squall's frame easing against his own and saw the defenses collapsing in those mesmerizing eyes, he realized that this was what he had always been waiting for.

_ ..: "To make it alright." :.. _

Ever so slowly, he leaned forward and inclined his head in reverence, softly brushing the shorter brunette's cheek with his own blonde hair and sun tanned skin. His fingers loosened their formerly firm grip on Squall's wrists, then languidly moved to trace the thin scars imprinted into snow white palms, gently rubbing the skin of the boy that was trembling at his very touch.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

_'I won't let you run away this time.' _

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

"… Let me make it alright…"

A smile stretched Seifer's lips in silent beauty, and his eyelids fluttered close as he breathed those words into Squall's ear with the gentleness of a man that would never risk to break someone he held so dear. Without any rush, he let his mouth travel along the other boy's cheek, his lips and nose caressing and worshipping beautiful ivory skin with a touch that was as light as air. Everything faded in relevance at that mellow feeling of Squall's creamy skin against his own, and when Seifer's pale crimson lips finally met with Squall's, all but that careful kiss had ultimately ceased to exist.

_A/N: Song lyrics removed - please see bottom of this chapter._

When Seifer's mouth softly closed over his own, Squall's body went rigid. His eyes wide in shock and surprise, he was overcome by emotions rushing through him with the force of a tidal wave.

_ Seifer was kissing him. _

Even in his wildest dreams, Squall had never hoped for such a gentle display of affection. In the matter of an instant, all his pain and anger had been thrown aside by the least expected, and yet most powerful resolution that Seifer could have possibly come up with.

_ A kiss. _

Squall's mind grew hazy, reason and thought running through his hands like intangible sand and water. He felt as if he had just been born anew, an innocent child that was bare of any idea of how to react to what Seifer was doing to him. He didn't know what to think, what to say and what to do, and least of all, he remembered how to breathe.

Somewhere deep inside of him, though, Squall was starting to understand.

_ You know what to do. _

_You have done this before. _

_'But…' _

_No "but". You know. _

_' …… ' _

Maybe it didn't even matter. His body was starting to answer entirely on its own, innate senses finally kicking in as Squall allowed himself to close his eyes and part his lips in an infinite gesture of trust and desire. And though familiar the act of moving his lips in silent innuendo might have been, the sensation, however, was entirely new. Squall could not recall to ever have tasted such bitter sweetness, such moist sway and potency that seared through his whole body and seemed to burn him from the inside. His lower back sent tingles up along his spine as he arched into the heat of the touch, and his legs grew dangerously weak.

As thoroughly as Seifer was captured in the moment of kissing Squall and skilfully discovering the brunette's mouth with his tongue, he did notice the other trembling more violently as their contact became deeper. He had expected Squall's initial rigidness, but he had almost gasped in heartfelt joy when the brunette had actually reciprocated his kiss.

A kiss that Seifer had been craving for longer than he could remember.

Fortunately, Seifer realized immediately what Squall was in need of when he felt the brunette's legs quivering beside his own. He released the slender wrists with a smile against Squall's lips, then ran his hands along the boy's raised arms with gentle pressure. Languidly, he travelled across Squall's shoulders and down his chest, each of his strong fingers grazing the fine cloth of the SeeD's shirt and feeling for the milky skin beneath it. While Seifer was exploring every arch and hollow of his lover's body, Squall was still trembling against him in a pandemonium of sensations, so the blonde sprawled the fingers of his hands and pushed them behind the shorter boy's back, fiercely embracing Squall to offer both closeness and support.

_ 'I'd never let you fall.' _

It was impossible to say who of the two men first noticed the rising hardness of one of them, but Squall was the first to react upon it. Breathlessly, he broke the heated contact of their lips at the feeling of something pressing sharply into his hipbone, and his eyes glanced up feverishly.

As soon as their faces had eased apart and he could make out the sanguine green of Seifer's eyes, he felt himself shutting down inside. Desperately, he tried to prevent the unpredictable, but there was nothing at all that he could have done. The look in those familiar emerald depths commenced an unstoppable chain reaction of heavy defenses that rose immediately when Squall recognized the blonde's expression.

When he _remembered_.

It was too difficult for him to read every little emotion that was echoing from Seifer's incandescent presence, but his own feelings connected with that deeply terrifying image, he recalled only too well. They overrode everything joyful in the matter of an instant, plunging the happiness that Seifer's kiss had erected into a void of fear and darkness.

It wasn't the lust in those deep green irises that scared him, it was the dire recklessness.

Seifer had done terrible things to him in a hazy past that Squall could not clearly remember, at a time that those gems of jade had been shining with the same, twisted light. Images of torture, rape and indignation flashed in strobes before Squall's inner eye, and the fear that seized his heart instantaneously was colder than a rush of ice.

"No… don't… don't come near me."

Seifer was surprised when he felt Squall's arms retracting from the wall, and when he saw the sudden change that the brunette had undergone. Squall's face was stark as the orbs of his hypnotizing eyes were showing a lot more white than was usual; an old and unmistakable sign of mortifying fear.

_ 'Fear? Why?' _

Frowning, the blonde loosened his embrace and brought one hand to Squall's face, where he cupped the other's chin in concern.

"Squall? What's wrong?"

_ ..: "Squall… you are mine, and I'll make you suffer." :.. _

Shuddering violently at the ghastly resonant voice inside his head, Squall used his hands in a vain attempt of pushing Seifer away. The taller gunblader, however, wouldn't move as far as an inch, and Squall started to feel caged more than anything.

"Squall...?"

Frantically, the brunette forced his breath through ground teeth, his eyes so wide that Seifer could see his own reflection in them.

_ 'Fuck, this isn't good.' _

Squall's heart was pounding in his chest so harshly that it sent a rush of blood to his head and to his ears, blanking out every concerned sound that escaped from Seifer's lips. Underneath the sensational overload, Squall wanted to close his eyes and run away, but neither seemed possible at the time being. Seifer held him captive with both his arms and his gaze, and at Squall's current mindset, both could turn out to be very dangerous.

Seifer, however, knew nothing of the perilous hazard he was meddling with. He was still trying to figure out why Squall would go from kissing him passionately to telling him to stay away, the latter with an air that was most unsettling.

"Squall, what-"

"Get away from me!"

Even if Seifer would have seen the blow coming that was dealt to his jaw, there was probably little that he could or would have done to intervene. Therefore, he was met with a crushing right hook, one that was so forceful in nature that it sent him stumbling backwards against the opposite wall and out of Squall's reach. Gasping, he saw nothing but stars and quizzical blurriness, and he had to wrestle up his most renegade strength to be able to remain standing.

As soon as Squall's fist had connected with Seifer's face, something inside the brunette had snapped. Wide-eyed, he witnessed how the blonde was sent backwards and almost driven to his knees, his former luminous expression now that of utter disbelief and lack of understanding. The shadows of fear and fell evil that had been coating Squall's mind had disappeared almost as quickly as they had emerged, and they left the brunette feeling hollow and with the bitter comprehension of having made a terrible mistake.

_ 'What have I done…' _

His dark blue eyes were dancing with panic when he reverted to the only thing that he vaguely remembered how to do: run away. Subconsciously, he bent down and picked up his lost key card with trembling fingers, then swiped it across the scanner with the mechanical quickness of experience. The moment his apartment door opened, he fled inside, knowing neither why he wanted to vanish exactly in there, nor what had driven him to punch Seifer in the first place.

All he knew was that he was scared to the bone.

Outside, Seifer was calling his name.

"Squall! Squall, wait!"

Cursing, the blonde grasped his head and sank to the floor, his back still connected to the wall behind him. The power behind Squall's blow had almost knocked him out on the spot, and his vision was yet anything but clear. He had merely seen Squall's shadow disappearing quickly from his shredded sight, and that realization alone had churned his insides to a mess of fright and horror.

Burying his aching head inside his hands, he drew his legs closer to his knees and let out a horrified gasp.

"Hyne, what have I done…"

Blood was pounding beneath his temples, and his lips were still tingling with the pungent sensation of loss. He wanted to cry over his own stupidity, and his throat was burning under the strain of holding back the tears. So long had he waited, so long had he hoped, and for what?

Nothing.

He could still see Squall's shocked and dismayed face in front of himself, and his hands tightened painfully until his knuckles turned white.

_ 'You fool. You goddamned fool. You really thought he was interested in you? He was disgusted by the very look of you. Fool, you're good for nothing.' _

The acrimony of those unspoken words bore into Seifer's mind like a whiplash; a dangerous brew of regret, self-loathing and execration, burning like wildfire into everything good and gentle that the blonde had thought himself to be.

All too soon, though, Seifer's sour demonisation of himself and his own feelings and actions turned into stale anger.

Just who did Squall think that he was?

Yes, by all means, he had made a mistake by kissing the boy. But even so, did the other really have to punch him? Squall had reciprocated his kiss, in any case. He couldn't be quite that abhorrent then, could he? Then why that uncalled for reaction?

Had he really been so wrong?

"Snotty brat…" the gunblader croaked hoarsely.

He had tried so hard, and Squall had made no attempt at honoring his earnest endeavours. As a matter of fact, Seifer had seen the brunette treat fiends better than his own friend and roommate.

_ 'Friend…' _

Seifer snarled coldly at the word; an abomination of everything that had really been between them.

Friendship?

Yeah right.

They had never been friends. More likely than not, Squall had doubtlessly grown sick of his presence on their very first day of living together. He was probably still in love with Rinoa, judging by his thoroughly surreal reaction to her appearance.

Rinoa.

What was so much better about that girl? Surely, Squall must have kissed her without punching her to the ground.

_ 'Fuck, you could've at least given me a chance. Fuck… Leonhart.' _

Seifer's features curled coldly against his hands, and his lips silently formed Squall's last name. Always, he had called the younger SeeD by that name in hope to keep his distance, and now, it sounded like a curse word more than anything else.

In all his frantic jealousy and directionless rage, Seifer didn't even notice how time was flying by. Selphie's zealous voice shrieking from the loudspeakers after her amateur DJ performance didn't even reach his conscience.

Brooding, he was sitting on the floor with his legs drawn close to his torso and his face fixed to a perfect example of petrification, when his eyes suddenly caught a flicker of movement just barely in front of him. Raising his head, he let his features twist into a menacing mask of a frown, his muscles contracting in readiness to lash out at whoever was apparently stupid enough to bother him.

The first thing he really became aware of was a pair of slender, pale legs in thin black shorts. The matching feet were bare on cold tiles, and as Seifer flicked his gaze up, he realized who those lithely athletic legs belonged to. Standing helplessly in a loose fitting, long sleeved white shirt and with his arms slack at his sides was Squall, his face so tight and translucent that Seifer could almost watch how all blood left it.

For an achingly long moment, neither of them said anything. Squall was biting his lips until they hurt, but not a sound made past them. He stood calm like a perfect statue, while Seifer's anger was steadily boiling.

Groaning, the blonde returned his forehead to his arms, which he had crossed above his knees.

"Seifer…"

The delicacy of Squall's voice hurt him more than anything, but he was too upset to let his real feelings show through his cloak of fury and antipathy.

_ 'Not like my feelings **matter**, anyway.' _

Fueled by his own emotional corrosion, he raised his head again and fixed Squall with a venomous green glare that caused the brunette to flinch visibly.

"Look, what do you want?" he growled callously.

Of course, Squall did not answer him. Seifer hadn't expected anything else in the first place.

Squall would never change.

"Figures," he snarled.

To his mild surprise, though, the brunette finally did open his mouth.

"Seifer… why are you sitting out here?"

It was a stupid question, and both of them knew the answer to it. Nevertheless, the SeeD understood that he had to say _something_ if he wanted to repair any of the damage that he had done. He had spent the past hour or so sitting shivering in their apartment, wishing for Seifer to show up and tell him again that everything would be alright. Seifer, however, hadn't come, and Squall had finally realized that he had to tear himself out of his catatonia if he wanted to have only the slightest chance of being granted forgiveness.

Hope was the only thing he was left with.

"What do you care?"

Squall squirmed at the harshness of the question, but he tried to remain calm.

"Come inside," he said quietly. "It's cold here."

"No, thanks," Seifer bit back harshly. "I'd rather freeze to death."

Overall, Seifer understood his own anger probably even less than Squall did. Really, he was overcome by hurt and disappointment, but being angry at his younger rival seemed distinctly less unnerving than actually making an attempt at trying to understand his actions. He already had enough emotional debris to deal with, he wouldn't be able to handle any more rejection for the night.

Somehow, he had expected Squall to make for a swift retreat at his insensitive display of rudeness, but he had by no means anticipated the brunette to wordlessly slide down along the wall opposite of his, quietly curling into a ball as he pulled his legs against his chest and wrapped his arms around his bare knees.

Arching one eyebrow, Seifer let out a startled hiss of air.

"What are you doing?"

Squall was studying him out of navy blue eyes from beneath veils of dark, half-lowered lashes as he glanced across his arms.

"I'm staying here with you," he answered chastely.

Seifer sat dumbfounded at that comment for a moment, at loss for another cruel reply.

"What?"

Squall shrugged softly, burying his head in the crook of his arms again. His naked feet shuffled across the floor, and even though Seifer was still firmly upholding his barriers of resentment, something inside of him melted at the heartbreaking picture. Once again, he hated himself passionately for his one weak spot, which was, and always had been, the stubborn brunette SeeD commander.

"Don't be ridiculous, you'll catch another cold," he remarked sourly and with the utmost hardness to his voice that he could muster.

The younger boy gave another supple shrug at the statement, secretly fighting down his nervousness. He didn't know what to do to efface Seifer's righteous anger, but he was willing to try all the same.

He had started an avalanche of misunderstandings, and he didn't even realize that he was not to blame.

"Hyne fucking dammit!"

Squall was startled when he heard Seifer's exasperate voice cutting the tense silence that was echoing between them, and soon thereafter, he felt someone grabbing his arm harshly.

"What-"

Irritated, Squall jerked up his head as he was roughly being yanked onto his feet. Seifer had left the solitary spot across from his and was now towering at his side, one strong hand firmly wrenched into his biceps.

"Sei-"

"Just shut up."

Fiercely, and ignoring the hurt expression on Squall's face, the blonde pulled his roommate towards the door. Using his own key card that he had retrieved from the pocket of his pants, he unlocked it and stepped inside with a suppressed grunt, all the while dragging the shorter boy along with him. Squall wasn't exactly resisting, but he was so startled that he was stumbling rather than walking, following Seifer's lead like a strung-down puppet. He knew better than to raise his voice again, but when the blonde released his arm with a sharp and careless thrust, he had to summon his last bits of strength to refrain from breaking down and crying.

_'He's so angry. This is all my fault. No wonder he hates me.' _

"Go to bed."

Squall snapped out of his musings at the acute order, and his tear-rimmed eyes wandered to Seifer, who was already removing his black shirt. Wavering, the brunette watched how the older peeled out of his clothes and climbed into his bed, all the while not turning around to face him.

"Seifer-"

"I said go to bed," his opposite repeated scathingly.

"But-"

"Look, I really don't feel like talking to you right now. Just go to sleep."

Thunderstruck, Squall stood petrified like a stone pillar. Each of Seifer's unkind words burned into him like licking flames of incandescent fire, smouldering deep inside his shattered soul long after their sound had already faded into nothingness.

As his hopeful resistance had been broken at last, Squall inclined his head in defeat.

"I'm sorry."

Even though Seifer froze in his covers at the heartfelt apology, he couldn't bring himself to swallow down his hurt pride and turn around to look at Squall. Instead, he simply stared at the wall in a blank, trying to manually calm his breathing and the incessant pounding of his heart in his chest.

Soon thereafter, he could perceive the soft treading of Squall's bare feet across the floor, but against his secret yearning, the brunette was not coming to join him. Instead, the young Commander hit one of the light switches and plunged the room into darkness, before climbing into his own bed, which he hadn't used in almost a week.

Shivering, Squall curled into a foetal position underneath his blankets and buried his head into his pillow, desperately trying to swallow down the cries that were threatening to erupt from the vulnerable depths of his aching heart. His throat was burning under the strain, but he was too ashamed to give in.

_ 'It's all my fault. I ruined everything. I pushed him away, as always. I ruined it all. I always ruin everything.' _

While Squall was drowning in a sea of insecurity and self-contempt, mentally beating himself over something that he had done without really understanding why, Seifer's mind grew more and more clouded. As much as he hated the brunette's repugnant reaction to his kiss, he probably couldn't even blame him. All this time, he had been fooling himself into hoping that the two of them could actually have a future together. A future bare of fears, lies and regrets, a future in which Squall's heart was open to him and the simple glory that was love.

A future which would never come to pass.

They were lying in darkness, seperated by more than just a stretch of floor or carpet, when both of them came to understand that despite their physical proximity, there were light-years and unconquerable obstacles that lay between them, and ancient powers that continually worked on driving them apart.

The Knight and the Lion. The Predator and the Prey.

Fire and Ice. Warmth and Cold.

Illusion and Reality.

Of course.

After all, destiny had never meant for them to be together.

As fragile dreams were dying, and frantic hope was failing, only mysterious azure light witnessed the tears that washed down snow pale cheeks at length, and it thoroughly savored the final crack of a spirit that had fought bravely, but in the end, had surrendered its soul all the same.

Victory had come at last.

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** To be continued! **

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Important Author notes: **_Alright, I realize this chapter was extremely awkward. When I wrote this story, I wasn't aware of fanfiction(dot)net's policy concerning the use of song lyrics in stories (they'll delete your story if someone's enough of an ass to report you). This whole damn story was inspired by this one song, which is "Alright" by Reamonn. Unfortunately, I found it safer to remove the lyrics and I'm sorry if this chapter is messed up because of that. I don't feel like re-writing it, to be quite honest, but if you'd like to see the uncensored version you can find it at www(dot)erytheia(dot)com/lmmia41.html. Sorry about the weird format of the link, but the editor won't let me put in a fricking url code._**

**_Sorry for the awkwardness._**

**_Angry Angel _**

**_

* * *

_**

Ah yeah, this one took a little longer. Partly, can be blamed, but oh well. I finally pushed myself to posting this, I hope I didn't do it too early Yes, yes, as usual, I am not 100 satisfied, but then again, when ever am I? In subtle and not so subtle ways, this chapter is definitely the most important one so far, and will still be amongst the most important ones in the end. I hope you enjoyed it somewhat And please don't kill me just yet for doing this to our poor Seifer and Squally o,O


	42. Decisions

** Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 42: "Decisions"

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Light. Cold. Pain.

… Reality.

Shocked awake by a forceful shudder that seared through his body with the acute speed of lightning, Seifer snapped out of his dream world and rocked into a harsh seating position. Like a victim to suffocation, he was gasping for air, both of his hands wrenched firmly into the bed sheet beneath him as his green eyes stared warily into nothingness.

A nightmare?

How very unusual…

It was bright around him; rays of the early morning sun were etching into his eyes, causing him to groan under the sudden sensational overload. Involuntarily, he broke into a fit of tremors, his skin breaking into goose bumps at the sharp chill of the air that was surrounding him. He had grown too accustomed to waking up with a warm body wrapped around his own, too accustomed to feeling a gentle tingle of breath brushing his chest and easing him awake.

He trembled yet again.

His head was aching in an echo of the previous night's events and the thoroughly miserable sleep that he had gotten. This, Seifer decided immediately, was worse than any hang-over he had ever had the pleasure to experience.

_ 'What happened…?' _

As feeble, painful memories hesitantly came seeping back to him with the annoying viscosity of melting tar or thick honey, he he gently rotated his upper body and turned his head aside.

Squall's bed was empty.

Sitting on his rear and with his legs crossed loosely before him on the mattress, he couldn't tear his gaze away from Squall's neatly folded covers and the carefully arranged pillows. If he hadn't known better, and Seifer firmly believed that he did, he would have thought that nobody had slept in that bed.

Ever.

Shaking his head, he adjusted his focus to a vague spot between his legs. His own sheets were white, probably made of linen or cotton and soft to the touch. On the plain surface, which was dipped slightly by his weight, he could make out every single thread and even a few tiny breadcrumbs from when he had served Squall breakfast in bed.

Seifer frowned.

Why was he even paying attention to that?

When he glanced back at the deserted bed, he understood only too well.

Squall.

Slouching over, he pressed the heels of his hands into his closed eyes in the vain hope of easing the tension behind his forehead. It really was hopeless. He couldn't force the image of Squall out of his mind, particularly not the one of Squall abandoning him in the Garden hallway. He had spent hours brooding over that incident the night before, his tongue threatening to voice his thoughts more than once, threatening to apologize for his deliberate rudeness and the apparent pain that he had caused. Every time, though, his pride had gotten the better of him, until he had eventually drifted off into a restless, shallow slumber that had offered little comfort.

Now, bathed into the pale golden light of a new morning, Seifer decided that speaking up or not probably wouldn't have made a difference either way. Squall was obviously not interested in neither him nor his explanations, and as much as that newly acquired knowledge angered and pained him, maybe it would also bring him some closure. Granted, he had hoped for a different response to the silent revelation of his long-hidden feelings, but it was likely better to know the answer for sure than to always remain wondering.

And Squall's answer had been clear enough.

Still, there was that pang of doubt inside his mind that Seifer just couldn't chase away. Maybe Squall's reaction _hadn't_ been as clear-cut as he liked to think. After all, the younger _had_ reciprocated his kiss, if only for a while. Seifer could not figure out what had gone wrong. Perhaps he had tried a little too hard, or perhaps he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it even matter?

_ 'No.' _

He could find no shelter in the wordless banter of his disarrayed thoughts. Ultimately, Squall had rejected him. The exact circumstances were of no importance. The other boy had made his decision, and Seifer would have to accept it.

He was too much a man not to.

While he was constantly trying to ease those frail and insanely proud beliefs into his intractable mind, Seifer spun around and flung his legs out of the bed. Somehow though, he was feeling hollow and spiritless, and he couldn't force himself to stand up completely. He was still sitting almost doubled over, his eyes now studying the floor instead of the bed sheet, as he was listening to the rough chiding of his own conscience.

_ You're giving up. _

Grimly, he fisted his hands atop his thighs and narrowed his sight.

_Heh. Whatever. You're still giving up. Chickenwuss. _

Sometimes, Seifer found himself wishing for the ability to shut off his thoughts like you would turn off a radio or a lawn mower; either could be equally annoying. Thinking was good and all, but brooding most certainly wasn't. So what if part of him thought that he was making a mistake? He knew better than to listen to silly little voices inside his head.

_ Is that so? _

"Shut up."

Grunting, he struggled onto his feet. Life was difficult enough without arguing with one's own mind. He had already made his decision the night before, and he was going to pull through with it. He wasn't mad at Squall anymore, maybe he never had been. That bitterness inside his heart was still there, though, and he wanted to efface it as quickly as even possible.

He cast a wary look at the dining table, finding something about it strangely odd, but he couldn't quite put his finger on the impression and decided to shrug it off altogether. It wasn't like he didn't have enough crap on the silver platter of his mind to finish off as it was.

Mechanically, he trotted into the bathroom, finding it untouched. Apparently, Squall hadn't even bothered to take a shower before he had taken off to Hyne only knew where.

"Your flight instincts are still working flawlessly, I see," he snarled, deliberately curling his lips in vain nonchalance.

His typical sense of irony brought no joy to his heart, though. As much as he tried to take the entire issue lightly and file it away as a valuable lesson in the entire fucked up story that was life, he just couldn't bring himself to.

It hurt.

In fact, it hurt more than any open wound that had ever been inflicted upon him, and Seifer had always been rather careless.

_ You love him. _

Shaking his head violently, he wrenched his hands around the rim of the sink and leaned down upon it for support, his face obscured by a thick veil of unruly blonde hair.

"Doesn't matter," he ground through painfully clenched teeth.

_ That's bullshit, and you know it. _

Seifer raised his head and gazed at his own reflection in the mirror. He definitely had seen better days. Dark shadows had discolored the tender skin below his eyes, the latter looking back at him dully and devoid of even the slightest sign of volition. His scar was actually sticking out more clearly those days, maybe because his complexion had paled a shade or two.

Sighing, the blonde tried to search for a helpful answer in his stark features and the blankness of his gaze, but salvation was not granted to him. He just could not understand _why_ Squall had flipped so abruptly the night before.

"What was he so scared of…?"

_ Why don't you go ahead and find out? _

Again, Seifer's eyebrows converged to a dark frown. True, he could probably do that, but what for? Squall wouldn't open up to him anyway, and in the end, it would always come down to the simple fact that the brunette carried no romantic feelings towards him. Squall would turn him down, and one way or another, Seifer definitely did not feel game for a lap of honor in the rejection pool. Being denied always ended up hurting him in more ways than he would ever allow himself to admit, and he wasn't going to go searching for humiliation if he could in any way avoid it.

At this point, he had been rejected enough to last him for two lifetimes.

"I'm doing the right thing," he huffed, waving one hand dismissively.

He almost expected to see his reflection laugh at him and his pathetic display of faith, but the empty and somehow pained expression of his face did not change.

Really, Seifer had no idea whether or not he was doing the right thing, but he had always been pretty skilled at lying to himself.

"Squall doesn't love me, so there is nothing I can do."

Skilled, indeed.

_ You're giving up. _

"Call it whatever you want! It's for the best."

Tearing his gaze away from the mirror with a defiant grunt, he peeled off his clothes and stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain close behind himself with much more force than was necessary. All the while, he kept telling himself that it was fine, that the world would go on turning eventually, that there was enough strength bound in him to live through all of it.

That everything would be… alright.

And though strong as he was, he could not quench the pain in his heart as he started the hot water and leaned his forehead against the tiled walls in a quiet gesture of defeat.

_ You're making a mistake._

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_

_

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** To be continued!**

Oh yeah, incredibly short, isn't it? Don't flame me just yet, please, I have more sitting right here I just read through what I had written and decided that I wanted a break here (yes yes, for the sake of drama, I am terrible ).

This (as well as chapter 43, since they used to be one whole chapter… I'm not making much sense am I?) has been edited on a terrible sugar high, and the last half of Chapter 43 has actually been _written_ in my current state of mind… peppermint chocolate is truly evil. To me, both are confusing (the chapters, not the chocolate) and make sense at the same time, maybe you will understand what I mean (I do hope so).


	43. The Awakening

**

=Let Me Make It Alright= 

**

Chapter 43: "The Awakening" 

========== 

Hours had passed since Seifer's morning shower, some more quietly than others. Still, in the end, Seifer had been surprised at how smoothly his rather self-destructive plan had progressed. Of course, people always listened to you and your needs when you really did not want them to, but he_ was_ strengthened in his resolve and the faith into his ultimate arrangement. Sure, nobody had told him that he was right, but they hadn't told him that he was _wrong_, either. 

Overall, he could have been satisfied. 

And yet, the stale taste of bitterness and doubt was still lingering on, making him question things that he had believed to be facts. Maybe it would simply take a while. After all, he had grown seriously attached to that frigid SeeD mercenary. He tried not to think of his feelings as "love" so much anymore, bearing in mind that love actually had to be reciprocated to last longer than a mere summer night's dream. On top of that, he had just grown tired of pinning tags to every little one of his feelings and relationships, firmly upholding the belief that the stiffness of definitions would only make his emotional failure more likely. 

As long as there was no love to be found, there was none to be lost, either. 

The whole concept of things found and lost was very much dominating Seifer's thoughts, as he could currently be found roaming the school grounds for a person he was missing: his favorite stubborn SeeD warrior. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about facing Squall, so he tried to ignore the notion altogether. Granted, he didn't necessarily _have_ to talk to the brunette, but his already nicked manhood wouldn't let him pull through with his plan without giving at least a marginal form of explanation. After all, he had always highly disapproved of that certain trait of stubborn secretiveness when Squall was concerned, hence he could impossibly be found making the same lapsed mistakes. 

Most importantly, there was still something that he had to do. 

As he had almost been expecting, he found the brunette SeeD at the orchard, training with his weapon of choice against invisible foes as he so often did when he was trying to disperse his thoughts. For the sake of old times, Seifer allowed himself to marvel over Squall's fine stature just briefly, trying to burn the ethereal image of the brunette clad in a long, white t-shirt and tight black jeans into his head, before clipping his own gunblade from his belt and stepping up to the scene. 

Apparently, Squall had been very much engrossed in his own little world of monologues and musings, as he whirled around rather sharply when Seifer was already very close behind him. More subconsciously than not, Squall's sword was still raised in a high and dangerous arch, but Seifer had known better than to approach a practicing gunblader unprepared. Nonchalantly, he caught the brunette's blade with his own, not even blinking once at the strident sound produced by metal scraping its strangely azure kin. 

They stood motionless, swords crossed and held elevated while slate blue eyes bore blankly into green ones. Seifer reciprocated the shorter boy's glare, meticulously studying Squall's reaction to his approach. Usually, he would have been disappointed when the younger finally lowered his blade and took a half-step backwards, but Seifer had calloused his feelings successfully. 

Or so he liked to think, anyway. 

"Seifer?" 

Disbelief was only too evident in Squall's commonly monotone voice, which was now undoubtedly shadowed by emotions that were still raw from the previous night's events. He felt awkward, maybe uncomfortable, and he didn't know whether he was relieved or troubled to see Seifer again. The surface of his arcane blue eyes was like broken glass, twisted in color and reflection of the afternoon sunlight. In his lowered right hand, LionHeart was shifting hues from brightest cyan to obscure, dull violet. 

Seifer didn't quite know what to make of it. 

"I…" 

Squall was obviously struggling for words, and Seifer's not-so-subtle look over apparently wasn't aiding his frantic search any. Thus, he cast down his eyes, staring bleakly at the softly treaded grass to his feet while a pale crimson blush crept to his high cheek bones before he could help it. Seifer's presence made him tense, the way the blonde stood so self assured in front of him without moving a single muscle underneath his thin, tight blue shirt with the familiar white cross on the chest and the loose fitting grey pants. 

Where was his trench coat, anyway? 

_ 'Don't you have more important things to think about? Idiot.' _

"I… I…" 

_ 'Right, smooth move. So much to that.' _

Why would minds never shut up? 

Sighing and knowing nothing of Squall's inward struggle, Seifer returned Hyperion to his belt. For a second, his attention was caught by the light breaking in glares on the silver of Squall's Griever necklace, but then he shifted his weight onto his heels and flicked his head aside. 

"Follow me." 

The brunette SeeD was startled at the unexpected command, and when he tore his sight from the ground, he saw Seifer already loping up the hill, back towards the school building. 

"But…!" 

Seifer didn't quite know why he suddenly heard Squall's shuffled footsteps behind him, but he blamed it on the boy being unable to suppress his innate curiosity. He couldn't possibly anticipate that Squall wanted to talk things over just about as badly as he did, and he never would have dared to hope so, anyway. 

In his books, Squall had abandoned him for good. 

Still, Squall was following his lead quietly, neither trying to pass him nor walk by his side. Seifer realized that and slowed just slightly in his pace, listening to the soft crunch of the brunette's biker boots on fresh grass with half-hearted attention. He didn't halt completely until the boy behind him finally raised his voice to a croaky, skeptical whisper. 

"Where are we going?" 

_ 'Look at you, you're actually asking where we're going? Full of surprises, aren't you.' _

"You'll see." 

Frowning, Squall continued to tail after the blonde, who had already resumed in his stride. The brunette's gloved hand was kneading LionHeart's hilt, and he was chewing on the rosy bottom of his lip quietly, turning over feelings and intentions. He had spent all day hiding from Seifer, and after everything that he had done, he really hadn't expected the other gunblader to actually come looking for him. Quite contrary, he wouldn't have been surprised if Seifer would have quit speaking to him altogether. The blonde's wrath on the previous night sure could have suggested such a dismissive behavior, but Squall had to admit that, apparently, he didn't know Seifer quite as well as he had thought. 

Oh, how right he was. 

Either way, Seifer Almasy was passing through the school grounds with stern determination, swiftly crossing the main hall to make a right turn into the hallway that led to the garage. Before Squall could have started into another tirade of careful protests, the older blonde had already charged past the vehicle department's office and opened the sturdy metal door to the underground parking facility. Reluctantly, the SeeD continued to follow Seifer down a brief flight of stairs and past a number of cars, until the blonde finally came to an abrupt stop before a bright blue overland jeep that, somehow, looked oddly familiar. 

Blinking in mild surprise, Squall watched how Seifer retrieved a keychain from the pocket of his pants and motioned the brunette towards the passenger door with a quick flick of his hand. 

"Get in." 

"Where are-" 

"You'll find out soon enough. Get in already." 

The younger boy didn't know how much he liked the rough edge to Seifer's voice, but he figured that he had thoroughly deserved it. He still wanted to kick himself over punching the man whom, really, he had very much enjoyed to kiss. Once again, Squall's pale skin generously changed hues to a faint shade of crimson, so he quickly circled the car to be able to vanish from Seifer's field of vision, if only for a moment. 

As soon as he had sunk into his seat though, remembrance struck him. 

"Isn't this Quistis' car?" 

He wasn't entirely sure, as he had never spent much time outside Garden with neither Quistis nor Zell, but he vaguely recalled the blonde female to have taken them out for dinner once in said vehicle. 

"Yep." 

Before he could've helped it, Squall's right eyebrow had arched towards his hairline. 

"Quistis gave _you_ her car keys?" 

"Yep." 

Instead of bothering to give any further explanations, Seifer ignored Squall's dumbfounded face, started the engine and steered the jeep through the garage and out the gate into the warmly fading light of the afternoon. The blonde was reckless to a fault, but he had always been a good driver. Maybe his dislike for putting his life into the hands of a machine was to blame, but he had never spent much thought on it. Either way, he most definitely felt much safer knowing that Squall was sitting in the passenger and _not_ the driver's seat. 

They spent the rest of the journey in silence, Squall pondering their possible destination and Seifer dreading to give their situation a final touch. Yes, he had sworn to pull through with his plan, and everything had been arranged per se, but Squall's presence made him waver more than he had expected. 

Narrowing his sight onto the road, he called himself to focus. 

_ 'This isn't going to change anything. Nothing has changed since last night, you better remember that. You're redundant, one way or another. Suck it up and get over it.' _

His lips curled involuntarily in a curt display of irritation, but the brunette at his side had been too preoccupied to notice. 

Indeed, Squall was busy watching the landscape change from fields of sanguine green to steppes of sandy dust and, finally, to the rough-edged rocky outlines of the Alclad plain mountain range. Both Squall and Seifer knew that terrain only too well, considering that they had been sneaking out there on a daily basis at some point, all to be able to practice untroubled by the watchful eyes of their overly protective instructors. 

The brunette stared upon the steep cliffs of stone quietly, his mind reverently pacing the way that Seifer was currently driving at moderate speed. In former days, they had spent many hours bickering and ignoring each other on that same stony path, while dragging their heavy swords to a secluded ledge higher up on the hill. It was a long way to be walking, but they had crossed the distance more times than he could really remember. 

Suddenly, Squall found himself longing for those carefree days with a painful strain in his heart. So much had happened since then, so much had changed. A year ago, Seifer had left him to the fate of a hero that he had never wanted to be, and to a world that he had been unable to deal with on his own. 

Without being in any way aware of it, Seifer had left Squall to die. 

He didn't even quite know why, but Squall suddenly felt certain that Seifer had never been meant to return. 

"We're here." 

Squall's head snapped around at the sound of Seifer's voice, and he was violently surprised to find the blonde sitting next to him, looking at him with a certain air of equal indifference and interest. 

Seifer _had_ returned. 

An avalanche of feelings and impressions threatened to break loose upon the brunette, burying him beneath the woes of the past, but he was once again saved by Seifer, who was opening the door and snaring his attention. 

"Get out, I want to show you something." 

_ ..::: 'Don't leave me.' :::.. _

Squall flinched at the force of the sensation, the power of the thought. He gasped in surprise, his eyes narrowing and widening synchronous to the hectic rhythm of the beating of his heart. 

"What…?" 

The word escaped Squall's lips without his own volition, a vain attempt at keeping himself from drowning in the wallow of his fears. Of course, he should have known that suppressing his angst all night and all day, and really, all of his life, would bounce back to him eventually. 

He was so afraid of losing Seifer again that the fear laced up his throat, jarring his breath and blurring his vision. 

"I said I wanted to show you something." 

Vaguely, Squall registered that Seifer had probably mistaken his outburst for an encouragement to repeat his order. He knew he had to pull himself together, before the blonde would think him a complete nutcase or worse. This was neither the time, nor the place to be whacking out. 

Mumbling something under his breath, Squall opened his door and pushed out of the car while mentally calling himself to focus. The fierce breeze whipping from the ocean across the lands tore into his hair and his much too thin shirt, causing him to shudder involuntarily. At the same time though, he was thankful, because the cool air helped to chase away the shadows hovering over his mind like hungry vultures. 

Seifer stood only a few feet away from him, his jade green gaze fixed upon the slope that lead up to their familiar mountain ledge. 

"Up there." 

The blonde's voice was rough and low, making it difficult for Squall to pick it up against the swoosh of the wind. As Seifer slowly started to ascend the rock-sewn hill, Squall followed his lead mechanically. 

The brunette cast a look or two at his darkened gunblade while he was staggering behind his friend, repeatedly wondering at his sword's unnatural color. There was a certain part of him that seemed to know the reason behind the blade's frequent change in hues, but that knowledge was fickle in nature, escaping far out of reach as soon as he tried to sprawl imaginary fingers for it. 

At the top of the hill, a wave of memories rushed over Squall at the sight of the vast, flat rock spur against the goldening horizon. One year ago, him and Seifer had scarred each other for life in that same spot, marking their invisible bond in a night that had been torn by thunder, rain and lightning. He had been angry back then, furious over Seifer's dire recklessness, and injured to such an extent that it had caused him temporary unconsciousness. Those memories in particular, however, were quite blurry. 

"Remember this?" 

He looked up at Seifer's question, carefully studying the blonde who was propping one leg up on one of the rounded rocks that lined the steep drop-off to the ocean. The older gunblader turned around to him, his luminous face oddly obscured by a mental barrier of fog and static that seemed to exist only in Squall's mind. 

_ 'What's wrong with me? Why can't I see his face?' _

Squall shook his head quickly from side to side, opening his eyes to find Seifer staring at him with an edge of curiosity. The blonde's good-looking features were suddenly as clear as ever. 

"You okay?" Seifer asked calmly, feigning disinterest. 

Impatient with himself, the brunette nodded and stepped up to the other man, mirroring Seifer's posture as he gazed upon the sea far below them. The water was capped with white foam, stirred by the afternoon gusts and sparkling in the orange glow of the descending sun. It was a peaceful scenery despite the cold of the puffing wind, and the simple fact that two men were both broken in spirit and heart. 

"I remember," Squall breathed quietly. 

The SeeD knew that Seifer hadn't taken him out there simply to show him the beauty of the nature or to relish precious memories. All in all, Seifer had never struck him as the kind of guy that would enjoy doing such things. Then again, of course, Squall had never thought himself sentimental enough to experience similar notions either, yet he found himself wishing that the moment would never end. 

It was simple, and it was good. 

Like all good things, though, it was of short duration. 

"We spent a lot of time out here." 

Seifer had spoken more to the sea below him than to the boy at his side, but for some strange reason, Squall felt obliged to softly nod his head nonetheless. Next to him, the blonde suddenly turned around, fixing him with an intent green stare that had always managed to root Squall incapable of moving. They didn't speak a word, and the brunette felt guiltier than ever. Seifer was so distant, so far away from him even if he could have touched the other's chest had he only extended his arm. 

Why did nice things always have to go ill? 

Just as Squall had almost wrestled up enough courage to apologize once more for his fatal slip-up in the Garden hallway, Seifer had retreated from the edge of the mountain and moved towards the center of the spur. The younger boy followed his every step out of the corner of his eyes, unsure of whether he should go after the blonde or not. 

"You were laying right here." 

A thin, brown eyebrow rose at that peculiar comment, and Squall's legs slowly started pacing towards the spot that Seifer had pointed out. The taller man looked down upon him languidly, a strange blend of pity and lust lighting up in his shadowed orbs of emerald. 

"What do you mean?" Squall finally brought himself to ask. 

"How did you end up in the infirmary that day?" 

Slowly, Squall started to understand. Of course, Seifer was referring to their very last training session on that mountain. He really _did_ have no clue concerning how he had miraculously appeared in the Garden infirmary after his head injury, but all along, he had never spent much thought on it. 

Ignoring questions was so ridiculously easy. 

"Why are you asking?" Squall demanded softly. 

"I'm not." Seifer shrugged. 

"Then-" 

"I carried you." 

The wailing howl of the wind was the only sound audible after that simple sentence was spoken, and though simple it was indeed, Squall had no idea how to react to it. 

Seifer had _carried_ him? His worst rival had carried his unconscious body all the way to _Balamb_? 

That didn't make sense. 

"You really had me worried back then… I thought I had seriously hurt you. When you passed out, I just sat by your side for like… forever, trying to shake you awake. I even used a couple of potions on you. When that didn't work, I scooped you up and carried you back… praying to Hyne that you were okay." 

Still, Squall remained silent. He was struggling to figure out the exact meaning behind Seifer's words and hide his own embarrassment at the same time. Both proved to be rather difficult. 

Being far more sensible than his reputation suggested, Seifer had picked up on Squall's dread with ease. 

"Don't get me wrong, Squall. I didn't take you out here so you would thank me or anything. There's no need, I _was_ the one who hurt you, after all," he observed. "If you would have been seriously injured, I probably would have killed myself or something." 

Suddenly, Seifer paused, running his hands through the golden tresses of his hair in distress. This was turning out to be much harder than he had feared. Something about the revelation of having carried an unconscious Squall for a good two hours was very intimate, and an unquestionable blow against the brunette's idea of privacy. And after all that had happened, the least smartest of things to do was probably to violate Squall's private space once more. 

Then again, it didn't matter anymore, did it? 

"I guess I just want you to know that I care for you deeply. I always have, Squall. I realize that you don't want me and you don't need me, but I had to tell you, anyway." 

As chocolate brown hair washed against navy blue eyes, a breath was stolen from Squall's chilly lips in the length of a heartbeat when Seifer's mouth closed softly over the brunette's once more. The touch was so fleeting that Squall would have probably missed it had he allowed himself to blink just once, since the radiant face was already pulling away from his before he had barely registered its skin against his own. He was still too lost in the after sound of Seifer's words, too startled to give just the slightest form of answer to that osculation, be it either physical or vocal in nature. 

In a bitter sort of way, Seifer was satisfied. He hadn't originally planned to actually dare and kiss Squall again, and really that shadow of a bodily contact could hardly be called much more than a second of hazy sensations, but maybe he owed it to his own pride and Squall's frigidness all the same. It was a small victory, and a sour one at that, but it was better than the previous memory of having wholly surrendered and ended up broken on the ground. 

Either way, Seifer wasn't going to apologize for this, no matter how upset the ice prince might have been. 

Little did he know that Squall had been thunderstruck by the revelation of his thoughts, his oh so false impression of being neither needed nor wanted, rather than by the fresh taste of a kiss on his lips. 

Did Seifer really think that he was that redundant? 

Did he really not know? 

"Seifer-" 

"I'm leaving tomorrow." 

If Seifer's earlier revelation had shaken Squall's heart, his last had torn it apart. It took a second or two for the meaning of those brutal words to sink in, but when they eventually did, panic seized the entity of Squall's soul. Within the chill of the air, all blood was drained from his face, leaving it pale and blank with the raw serration of fright. 

"What??" he finally managed to choke. 

"I talked to Cid and Edea. They weren't pleased, but I'm free to go, if I want. So I'm going to meet up with Fujin and Raijin and leave Balamb." 

Though he tried to appear unperturbed, there was a painful glare to Seifer's eyes, but it was marginal compared to the bare shock echoing from Squall's ethereal features. The SeeD's worst demon had conquered reality, taking him away from the only person that had ever truly been of meaning to him for long, long years. He wanted to speak, voice his emotions, but the words would only stake in his throat, which was burning under the strain. 

"So, there won't be any more problems. You'll be rid of me for good," Seifer joked cynically. 

The entire absurdity of those words made Squall want to cry out, to shatter free from that cruel dream he was obviously stuck in. How could Seifer possibly think that he was meaningless? How could he possibly think that Squall wanted to be rid of him? 

Didn't he see? 

Wasn't it obvious? 

Something had gone horribly wrong. 

"Well, that was all, really," Seifer shrugged helplessly, oblivious to Squall's dismay. "I guess I just wanted to reminisce and stuff… sorry. I'll take you back." 

He turned on the spot, a predator in the fluidity and elegance of his movements as he walked away from the center of the spur, but he hadn't expected Squall to call out to him. 

"Seifer… wait!" 

He halted on the spot, curiously turning his head, inwardly hardening himself against the cold, emotionless tirade that would probably follow. In his own misery, he had missed the raw edge to Squall's voice, thoroughly missed the open hurt in his deep blue eyes that shone with the fear of loss. 

"'Sup?" he grunted. 

"W… why? Why are you leaving? I… I'm sorry, I mean, I know it's my fault, but…" 

After an initial moment of surprise at the helpless words and the way that Squall was raising his shoulders like a chided child, Seifer smiled pitifully, gently shaking his head from side to side. 

"It's not your fault, don't worry about it. You did what you had to do." 

"No!" Squall almost shouted. "That… I… Seifer, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for hitting you, I'm sorry for being an ass, I'm sorry for… for everything… I… I'm sorry… really… I'm sorry…" 

"You apologize too much," the blonde remarked softly. 

Again, Seifer smiled, and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. 

He had to get out of there. 

"Look, Squall, I respect your feelings, you don't have to be sorry at all. I just can't stay here… it wouldn't work." 

Indeed, Seifer could feel it "not working" every passing minute. Squall's presence and his stuttered apologies affected his heart at the very core. He didn't want Squall to feel guilty, that hadn't been his intention by any means. The brunette wasn't the type to randomly punch people, and the fact that he apologized for a legitimate reaction only fortified the impression of his noble nature. Really, Seifer thought, the boy had had all right to hit him, considering the way he had been cornered and taken by surprise that night. 

No, Seifer decided, Squall surely didn't need to say that he was sorry. 

Seifer had understood nothing. 

"Forget the punch," he continued, "I'm not angry anymore. You had all right to hit me." 

"But-" 

"Like I said before, I didn't take you out here to guilt-trip you for anything. I just wanted to tell you what was on my mind, and I did. So… thanks for coming, Squall." 

Squall wanted to scream at the misunderstanding, but it seemed as if Seifer wasn't even listening to him. Why else would Seifer feel superfluous if it hadn't been for the punch? Why wouldn't the blonde understand that he hadn't intentionally tried to push him away? For Hyne's sake, Squall didn't even know _why_ he had punched the blonde in the first place! 

"Seifer, just… why… just listen to me!" 

"I'm listening." 

"No, you aren't, why don't you understand?! I'm sorry for punching you, I didn't mean to, I was just… I don't know, whatever. Whatever! It doesn't fucking matter! I was a fool!" 

Seifer cocked an eyebrow at the sudden outburst of anger, but at first, he remained silent. 

_ 'What's this all about now? First he is sad, now he is angry?' _

"I'm sorry for punching you, you hear?! I'm sorry! I wasn't trying to… I didn't mean to… It just…" 

As Squall's voice ebbed away, so did his hot-tempered anger that had risen out of the depths of frustration and despair. After another moment of stillness, the blonde across from him shook his head yet again and let out a deep sigh. 

"What do you want me to say, Squall?" Seifer finally replied wearily. 

"I… I don't know." the brunette whispered hopelessly, ultimately burying his forehead in his hand. 

In all truth, Squall knew only too well. He wanted to cry out, confess his feelings and beg Seifer to stay, but it was as if part of him wouldn't allow it. It was his only chance of stopping Seifer, and even though he was fully aware of that, he couldn't bring himself to tell the other that he was so very much in love. His apologies were useless, as they didn't even come close to touching the core of their problems. Seifer wasn't mad because he had been punched, but he had fatally misinterpreted the brunette's over-reaction, and Squall could do nothing to correct the blonde's mistake. 

_ Something_ was stopping him. 

"Seifer, I… I really… I…" 

_ ..::: You can't. :::.. _

And though Squall was struggling valiantly, he stood no chance against it. 

Finally, he lowered his head in defeat. 

"Squall…? Squall!" 

The brunette flicked his gaze up sadly at the sound of Seifer's strangely astonished voice, and he was surprised to find the blonde staring alert at some point quite a ways above his eye level. Irritated, Squall cocked his head into his neck, staring up into the sky. It had darkened somehow and without his notice; warm, radiant orange had faded into dull, anthracite grey. The wind had stopped completely, as had all other sounds around him, and yet there was something drifting out of the blackened clouds, falling slowly and gently like… 

A feather? 

"What the…" 

Even Seifer's voice had hushed, and his words seemed to lose themselves on their journey to Squall's ears. The brunette exchanged disturbed glances with orbs of glaring green that had fixed him nervously, before he hesitantly extended an arm. 

"Squall, don't-" 

A coal black feather, swaying in a current of air that was nonexistent, was drawn towards the earth by an unknown force. 

Steadily. 

Unstoppably. 

And when it came to rest in the open palm of Squall's gloved right hand, the High Commander of Balamb Garden didn't hear his blonde friend yelling when the brunette himself was enveloped by a shroud of darkness, emitted from the very blade of his sacred sword that was resting so innocently against his thigh. 

He didn't see the world around him transcend into the exact, nocturnal mirror image of his nightmares; a world so vast and black and menacing that even Seifer Almasy was shaken in terror and chaos. 

He didn't feel himself crushing the delicate feather from the depths of his clenched fist into the voids of oblivion. 

There was none of that in Squall Leonhart's reality. 

He was consumed solely by the storm inside his soul, and the bitter realization that all this time, he hadn't been alone. 

** =To be continued!= **

========== 

Here is chapter 43, as promised =) I don't really have a whole lot to say, I guess, except that referring to the Alclad plains, I am sure everyone knows what scenery I am talking about, but since I don't have the US/Japanese version of the game, I don't know if that area is commonly called Alclad. I checked in my (German) version, and that was the name of it =) If anyone knows the international name though, please please let me know and I will be happy to change it 


	44. Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 44: "Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec"

"… S…l…qua…Sq…ll…" 

_ 'What… why… how…' _

Squall had stood tacitly, his hand curled to a rock-hard fist, while his eyes had looked straight ahead, seeing nothing. At the awakening of the shadows and the touch of their prophetic feather, all of Squall's senses had shut themselves off, a futile and helpless defense mechanism that was to ward him against the things that were to come. He didn't want to hear, see, smell or feel the darkness that was enclosing him, nor did he want to taste the reality that his nightmares had become. Subconsciously, he was forcing himself to elide those frightening impressions, spinning out of time and involuntarily forgetting all about Seifer's presence as well.

Seifer, however, hadn't forgotten _him_.

He had quickly cast away his sullen pride and almost lost his poise at the horrifying image of his friend being enveloped by shrouds of black feathers that had been regorging from the sky like shreds of death itself. They had vanished, of course, transformed into bodily smothers of darkness that seemed to infect everything around them with their fell essence, and Seifer had found that new development no less terrifying. He was continuously screaming Squall's name, but the boy wouldn't do so much as turn a hair at his pleas. Petrified to a statue, the brunette was letting all evil wash over himself without putting up a fight, much like the shores would willingly admit the sea, seemingly accepting the assault like an inevitable spectacle of nature.

When Seifer realized that Squall was not going to offer even the slightest form of resistance, he knew that it was on him to act, or else all of his efforts ever spent on Squall's life would have been in vain.

What exactly those shadows were and where they had come from was yet debatable, but one thing was beyond any doubts:

They meant to destroy Squall.

And thus, Seifer crossed the distance between their bodies, only casually noting the change that their surrounding had been made subject to. His sole focus was on Squall, and the caustic edge to his own voice was an echo of his enthusiastic concern as he called out to the eighteen year old brunette before him. He shook the other boy's shoulder violently, his own eyes searching the emptiness of Squall's for a sign of living, before his attention was diverted by the menacing, vibrant sound humming low and guttural from the nucleus of LionHeart itself.

_ 'The sword…!' _

The sword, indeed.

Fortunately, Seifer's senses were still working quite flawlessly. Quickly, he went to seize the hilt of Squall's gunblade, ready to tear it from the boy's belt before it would cause any more harm, when unexpectedly, Squall's fisted hand unclenched and lashed downward in the flash of a motion. A slender, gloved hand curled itself around Seifer's wrist like a shackle, immediately firming its grasp to where its iron force threatened to snap the blonde's bones.

"S-Squall!"

Seifer winced at the sudden sharp pain evoked by the other youth, desperately trying to wrestle free from Squall's merciless grip, but he stood not a fraction of a chance. He yelled and cussed, yanking at his wrist with all the force he could muster, yet it was but useless. The brunette was still staring ahead eerily, not even heeding him with a single glance, and his leather clad fingers only tightened their excruciating hold.

"Ghh… Squall! Squall, stop! Fuck, stop!"

The blonde begun to see bright lights whirring in front of his inner eye at the pain inflicted upon him, and even screaming was steadily becoming difficult.

He should have been able to shake Squall off with ease, but the SeeD's strength was not from this world.

"Squall… Hyne… ghh… you're hurting me… stop… you'll break my fucking wrist… let go!"

_ ..: "You're hurting me." :.. _

Maybe there had been more potency behind those words than Seifer had thought when he had hissed them through ground teeth, but either way, they were the only ones that managed to sever the veil of shadow that was blearing Squall's psyche.

_ '… you're hurting me…' _

_'Seifer…?' _

Finally, life returned to the void of greyness in Squall's eyes, as did reason to his mind.

_ 'What am I doing…?' _

"Squall, let go! _Let go_!"

And as feeling came seeping back into every fibre of Squall's body, his fingers released Seifer's wrist with a snap. Gasping, he drew away from Seifer's blurred figure, and though he dimly realized what he had done, he had no time to apologize, because with the ability to feel came the ability to hurt.

And hurt he did.

"Ah!"

At first, it was difficult for him to locate the exact origin of his ache; an ache so violent that it was effortlessly diminishing him to a wreathing heap as he collapsed heavily onto his knees. His entire body was racked with convulsions, panging in every imaginable place that was capable of hurting.

Squall could feel himself shutting down inside, reaching that unique, personal limit of agony that he was able to endure before passing out, when suddenly, everything stopped almost as quickly as it had begun.

Still sitting doubled over, he was panting sharply, his lungs trying to harvest as much oxygen as they could to aid his mind in clearing. Even after he had managed to blink away the last residues of the assault on his mind, it still took him a few seconds to acknowledge the presence of another body next to his own.

His face slanted wryly, Squall looked over his shoulder at the man that was squatting behind him and rubbing his throbbing scaphoid bones. Seifer was displaying a lousy attempt at a half-smirk; a dry smile that got caught on the chafed surface of his lips and never reached his eyes.

Not that there was a whole lot to be smiling about.

Quite contrary, concern was lacing the blonde's words as he finally managed to grind them out through gnashed teeth.

"You okay?"

Squall momentarily had to contemplate his vast assortment of possible answers, before he decided on a vague nod.

"What happened?" he inquired shakily.

Grunting, Seifer jabbed his chin in the general direction of Squall's gunblade, which he had torn from the boy's belt only seconds ago.

A task much more difficult in nature than the sounds of it.

At the sight of Squall's torment, Seifer had quickly abandoned his own distress and brought himself to wrench the sword from the brunette's hip. He had been rather stunned by the destructive pain induced from the blade's mere hilt; pain which had been dire enough to annihilate every single nerve in his hand, had he only held on just a little bit longer.

Fortunately, though, Seifer hadn't.

He had chucked LionHeart a good ways into the crook of the mountain ledge, away from Squall and himself. After said accomplishment, he had assured himself that Squall was okay, only severely out of breath and not hurt, before actually attending to his own woes.

Groaning, Squall was now following Seifer's curt physical notion with his gaze and found his gunblade laying a few feet away from him on blackened ground, still surrounded by an eerie sabled glow that was only intensifying.

It wasn't until then that Squall finally became fully aware of the thoroughly maleficent transformation that their environment had undergone.

Grey rocks once dusted with sun-worn grass and framed by a warm orange sky were no more. Instead, Squall found a choppy surface of dark, obtuse stone beneath his bended knees, an impenetrably nocturnal kind of rock that he guessed to be onyx and that he remembered undoubtedly from his nightmares.

"This is bad," he whispered flatly, his eyes yet again glued to the eclipsed image of his sword.

"Ya think?" Seifer replied coolly, with more cynicism to his voice than he had originally intended.

Admittedly, Seifer was downright worried, and he had no intentions of lingering out in that disturbing darkness any longer. Granted, both of them were quite used to such supernatural things happening to them, but though he couldn't quite figure out what it was, something about this was dramatically different from any of his previous experiences.

Seifer hated to run away, but he was wise enough to admit that sometimes, retreat was really the smartest of options.

"We need to get out of here," he thus stated firmly, prodding his arm into Squall's side. "Can you get up?"

The brunette was eyeing him with a peculiar blend of near-hysteria and doubt. Testily, Squall then shifted his weight and thrashed into an upright position, easily unfolding his legs beneath his body and steadying his equilibrium sense.

Not so bad after all, perhaps.

"Okay," Seifer remarked behind his back with a quiet sigh of relief, "Let's go!"

"Shouldn't we-"

"No! Whatever this is, we can't fight it alone."

"But-"

"_No_, Squall! Come on! I'm going, and I ain't leaving you here!"

The young SeeD Commander flicked his head around to gaze at Seifer, who had risen to his feet as well. The older gunblader's face was grim, reflecting the blonde's fierce determination to _drag_ the brunette from that ledge if need be, but Squall was all too willing to comply. Fuck his sword, fuck his nightmares and the filthy little secret that they obviously incorporated.

For now, he just wanted to escape.

Being a hero had become tiresome enough.

_** … Fools. **_

Both Squall and Seifer jumped at the sound of a voice that was strangely familiar to both of them, yet seemed to surface from nowhere at all. A voice that was equally menacing and mocking, feeding upon their deepmost primal fears.

Thoroughly irritated, Seifer exchanged glances with the brunette, who was casting fleeting looks around, only pausing every now and then at the profile of his sickly skewed sword.

"Did you hear that?" Seifer finally asked in a low-pitched tone, which had come rather rasp from his throat.

Squall nodded hesitantly in reply, and his eyes narrowed to slate blue slits at the sight of Seifer drawing Hyperion and cocking the silver blade in a defensive, stilted arch.

"Shh!"

There really had been no need for Seifer to hush his brunette friend, but the blonde did so all the same. Being quick to panic had never been one of his traits, yet he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

He _knew_ that voice.

He had heard it far too many times, in a past that he would have gladly forgotten.

_** You think you remember? Maybe you aren't quite as idiotic as I thought. **_

Seifer's head swung around, as did his sword, his gaze frantically searching the distance for the source of those condescending words.

At his side, Squall was clamping his teeth down upon his lips, painfully digging his fingers into the leather clad depths of his palms. Without his weapon, he didn't have much to defend himself with. Armed with nothing but a handful of spells, his Guardian Forces and his throbbing urge to protect the man next to him by all means necessary, it was all he could do but hold his head high in childish defiance.

Little did he know that Seifer felt no different.

_** Your insolence is… almost amusing. As entertaining as your runty display of repugnance might be though, I think it is well time. **_

As if in a mute agreement, Squall and Seifer huddled closer together, both driving their apprehensive glances into the other's eyes at the silent threat in that bodiless statement. Neither of them could exactly place a finger on their wavering perceptions, but they felt that _something_ was about to happen.

Something of more maliciousness than either of them was prepared for.

When Squall's glare fastened to the pulsating, malevolent aura that was surrounding his precious gunblade, he understood more than he had ever wanted to know.

"Seifer! It's… _them_!"

The blonde whirled around at Squall's hoarse cry, his emerald orbs immediately dilating at the disturbing scene that was unfolding before their very eyes. There was no need whatsoever for the younger brunette to explain his definition of the term "them".

Everything had become much too obvious.

"No… no, that's impossible!" the blonde gasped.

_** No, no, no. I'm afraid it very much isn't. **_

As the vibrant, now flaming black aura filling the deserted form of LionHeart had bled into the ground, fusing with ancient veins of nocturnal gore and doom to form new and twisted life, two blurred figures were borne from the darkness, sucking all feeble power from the once beautiful blade of Squall's sword. Mercilessly, the shadows were reaping their source, and they became the one nightmare that Squall had been fearing for a much too long period of time.

To become what never should have been.

To become what had been deemed destroyed barely twelve months ago.

To become the incubus of an entire generation and any that were to follow.

"No…"

Disbelief was reflecting from shimmering surfaces of both green and blue, and though Seifer Almasy had never actually seen the ivory skinned woman clad in a crimson tinged dress of heavy velvet, had never seen her long silver hair, burning amber eyes and amethyst tattoo adorned face, he knew exactly who he was looking at. He had beheld her grotesquely black seraphic wings in his most horrendous nightmares, always watched by the cold, arrogant orbs of her ancient eyes.

"This can't be…" he breathed again with weak quietness, before shutting up entirely.

_** It is. **_

Shadows and flame had formed the bodily incarnation of the sorceress Ultimecia.

"NO!"

The moment that Squall had laid eyes on the queen of all witches, he wanted to scream from the bottom of his soul and unleash all agony that he had been bottling up inside the profundities of his spirit for so very long, always telling himself that it couldn't be, that he was merely driving himself insane over a demon that could no longer do him any harm.

How could he have been so _blind_?

And though Seifer had not been able to put a name to the countenance of the second shadow that was squiring the sorceress herself, Squall was all the more capable of doing so. The ensuing apparition was much larger in statue than the misleadingly frail frame of Ultimecia, and an entirely different species of life to begin with. It was neither human nor beast, even if its appearance could have suggested a kindredship with the latter.

"Is that… what I think it is…?"

Squall's breathing had slowed to a crawl, and he almost felt himself unable to reply his friend's trembling question.

Of course it was.

"Griever. It's Griever…"

Seifer instantly remembered the story that Quistis had told him; a ridiculous fairy tale of Ultimecia's Guardian Force having bonded with Squall's sword and ending up trapped inside. Great story, really.

There was just one problem.

This twelve feet tall, garnet and ebony furred lion that was towering on his hind legs, framed by a pair of white wings and bladed arms and looking like the personification of death itself, could _hardly_ be called a fairy tale.

Neither Squall nor Seifer knew how, but Ultimecia and Griever had emerged from the abysms of LionHeart, leaving the blade looking dull and see-through like a worthless shard of glass.

It was worse than _any_ nightmare.

"No! NO! We _killed_ you! This is not possible! _We killed you_!"

Squall's voice was nearly snatching with hysteria, his despair and unbelief so evident that it seemed to dearly amuse the witch. She was smiling coldly, and in a gesture of infinite faith into her own capabilities, she turned her back to the two young men, casually pacing a few steps away from the hollow gunblade that was resting on the stretch of obsidian ground that parted SeeD and sorceress.

"My dear Squall…" she suddenly spoke calmly, an almost serene coloring to her words. "How very cute you are."

Her stride was even and provocatively gentle in nature. Still facing away from them, she was then moving her hands in a cryptic manner, raising a throne of darkness out of the onyx stone that she had manifested all around them. With a whir of her wings, she turned around, slowly lowering herself into the massive, angularly shaped seat while fixing the men with her inquisitive, amber gaze. Griever was looming next to her bizarre throne like the guardian that he was, his animalistic face giving away neither emotion nor intention as he gazed upon the young Commander of Balamb Garden quietly.

Seifer could anticipate Squall's loss of control, and his concern about the brunette's state of mind was almost as great as his fear for both of their lives in general. This was the sorceress that the SeeD had fought barely a year ago, saving the world and becoming the hero that he had never wanted to be.

Squall Leonhart, conqueror of the queen of witches and savior of all mankind.

… What a farce.

"Squall-"

_ "I KILLED YOU!" _

Screaming, Squall was threatening to charge for the sorceress' life with bare hands, and it was only thanks to Seifer's quick reactions that he was spared a premature end. The blonde's arm flashed to the side, so rapidly that it was almost invisible, and Squall rebounded from it with all the force he had put into his vain attempt of killing Ultimecia yet _again_.

"_No_, Squall! You aren't accomplishing anything like this!"

The brunette had stumbled backwards, only prevented from falling over by his efficiently trained agility. Fretting and fuming in an onset of pointless anger, he was slamming his gloved hand into his forehead, not even feeling the pain of the impact.

"This is not true… this can't be…"

Seifer's glance kept bouncing back and forth between the images of Squall and Ultimecia. The sorceress did not appear as if she was preparing for an immediate attack, but the highly pleased smile on her face was threat enough.

"Pitiful little SeeD. Has your ridiculous illusion finally been shattered? How heart breaking. You should have known all along."

She was shaking her head in pretense gentleness, awakening in Seifer the distinct urge to gag in a fit of nausea.

"Squall, are you-"

"Why? How?"

The brunette was ignoring Seifer's helpless attempts at caring for him; he could only dwell in his fathomless incredulity and the fact that everything he had ever believed in had been wiped out in the matter of an instant.

"It was simple, really," the sorceress went on blithely. "You and your little friends were so caught up in the beautiful phenomenon of time compression that you didn't even notice how Griever and I sought refuge in the sheltering encasement of your precious gunblade, luckily _before_ our spirits could have vanished in the maelstrom of oblivion. You see, some of the components used to forge LionHeart are very much compatible with mine and Griever's magic. Adamantine… dragon fangs… pulsar ammunition… it doesn't take a sorceress of my proficiency to prey such beneficial circumstances."

Gravely, Squall closed his eyes. The beating of his heart nearly drowned the sound of Ultimecia's jeering words out, but they were echoing from deep inside him all the same. Her presence had been a parasite to his daily life, and yet he had not acknowledged it. His nightmares, his strange intuitions and the constant feeling that _something_ just wasn't right were finally explained, and he wanted to kill himself over being so very sightless.

"Certainly," Ultimecia continued bemused, "You had inflicted quite some damage upon my guardian and myself, but it was no harm that my theurgy could not have cured with time. In fact, I quite enjoyed the months I got to spend in your vicinage. You are so easy to manipulate, with such a beautiful talent for suffering. How could I have passed up the chance to meddle in your petty schemes and self insurgencies?"

"Bitch," Seifer snarled angrily, his focus still wavering between the witch and his friend.

"Ah. Yes. There is you, too. When you returned to the stage, my inapt knight and servant, things almost went out of hand."

"I was never your servant, bitch," the blonde hissed venomously, now boring his virulent green eyes into the woman's physique.

"You are much more skilled at lying than that pathetic, uptight affinity of your's, but contrary to your false credences, it doesn't naturally make you successful. You were my submissive little servant, but you were good for nothing but disappointing the expectations that I held in you."

"Shut up," Seifer growled. "What do _you_ know, you psycho hag?"

While Ultimecia only laughed gently at Seifer's random insults, Squall was still flaring with fury and resentment. He was rancorous to a fault, yet there were things that he had come to understand. He was no longer trapped inside a foul dream world; this was reality, and it was dangerous for both him and the man that he cared for so deeply.

_ 'The man that I care for…' _

Immediately, Squall felt his irises widening in shock.

If Ultimecia had been so close to him all this time, did she know about his inmost, secret desires? Had she been prying in the affairs that concerned his heart more than anything else?

As if the sorceress had guessed, known or read Squall's dread from the very lines of his face, her smile was deepening, gaining in calculated spitefulness and arrogance.

And unlike the two young men, she knew exactly how to use their hidden feelings to her advantage.

"The sorceress knight and the sorceress slayer. My, what a couple. I knew of your obsession with this particular SeeD when you were still my menial, Seifer, and I see that it has only grown in vigor. Sadly, he does not feel the way you do."

As much as they tried to hide it, both Seifer and Squall had become very unsettled at those words, and their bodies stiffened involuntarily.

What _did_ she know?

"Indeed, our little SeeD believes that he is in love with you, and very falsely so. Much unlike your feelings, Seifer, his have been provoked solely by my intrusion."

Entirely convulsed and shaken in their faiths, the two gunbladers exchanged fatal glances in the tranquility of time that flowed between them. Neither of them could decide whether they wanted to accept the witch's words as truth or lie, as they bode both ill and well. According to her, Seifer was genuinely obsessed with his brunette friend and rival, yet was obsession really such a positive thing? Also, she claimed that Squall thought himself in love with his childhood rival, yet the stress seemed to lie on the word "thought".

"You talk too much," Seifer finally huffed dismissively, playing down his true state of mind.

"Contrary to your uncandid words, I know quite well how terribly you want me to continue to speak of Squall Leonhart's feeling concerning your person. But then, why don't you ask him yourself about those oh so romantic sentiments of his?"

Though stubborn Seifer was, he could not ignore the nagging urge to comply with Ultimecia's proposal. She _had_ been "living" with the brunette for quite a while, after all, and thus far, her statements did make sense.

"Squall?"

Gasping, Squall was incapable of filling the pregnant pause that had followed Seifer's single-worded question. His former desire to tell the blonde exactly how he felt about him had been oddly quenched, and instead, he suddenly realized that he was wavering inside as he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another.

Did he really only _think_ that he loved Seifer?

"Hello? Is she right?"

"I…" Squall stuttered helplessly, obviously fighting for composure. "I… I don't know."

A content cackle stirred the air, fully bearing the knowledge of having successfully driven a wedge between the two gunbladers that had been struggling so hard to hold on. Little did they know that Ultimecia was, and always had been, a mistress in the deceptive arts, easily possessing and controlling even the strongest of minds to twist them in her hands like clay.

Easy to manipulate, indeed.

"What do you mean, you don't know? It's not that fucking difficult, Squall!"

Seifer didn't know where his sudden anger had erupted from, but it was there and it was clearly gaining control over his behaviour. He wasn't sure whether carving so sharply into Squall was really what he wanted, but…

"I… she… Look, I don't know, Seifer! I'm trying, but…"

Snorting, the blonde retreated a few steps from Squall's figure, and the younger man couldn't do much but gape. He tried to comprehend what was going on and pin down his feelings, but his mind had become so… intractable.

Why were they talking about their relationship of all things when there was a sorceress to defeat?

Frankly, he really _didn't_ know.

"I see. I see how it is," Seifer hissed coldly.

Oh yeah. This was _exactly_ what he wanted.

The expression on Seifer's face had changed, his once warm aura cooled to an icy lowness that could have matched Squall's on a bad day.

The brunette however couldn't see it, didn't _want_ to see it.

"Seifer! Why are you-"

"Shut up, Leonhart."

All wind had been knocked from Squall's chest at the sound of Seifer's frigid voice and the chill in his eyes. This wasn't the caring, thoughtful Seifer whose company he had been blessed to enjoy the previous weeks. This wasn't even the annoying prick of a Seifer that he had known as a child and a young boy.

What was going on?

"What are you-"

"She was right," the blonde spat disdainfully, "She was right all along!"

"Seifer…"

"You never did care about anything but yourself, thinking you were all that and you could have anyone you wanted!"

"S-- Seifer!"

"Stop 'Seifer'-ing me. You were always a little cry baby, Leonhart."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Seifer!" the brunette snapped helplessly, barely recognizing the sound of his own voice.

"Ah. I forgot you were stupid, also. You never did compare to me, I guess," the older gunblader replied with a humorless smirk.

And finally, Squall understood.

He knew who this Seifer was, even before the blonde had raised his cold voice to a dull, fatal snarl.

"I'm the sorceress knight."

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** To be continued! **

* * *

Oh my, this was by far one of the more difficult chapters I have yet had to write. Is Seifer gonna be the sorceress knight again! And why? Is he stupid! ... I know you saw this coming, but... YOU'LL SEE! Hehe, I promise I will go into more details concerning Seifer's sudden change, Squall's insecurities, Ultimecia's appearance and Griever's role next chapter. I didn't want to dish out every tiny piece of information in one sitting. - So yes. There you got her! Ultimecia. Now, I -will- have to explain myself on this one, I feel. So here goes. 

Unfortunately, I had little to no material on the Ultimecia that most of you probably know, since I'm only familiar with the German version of the game, and on top of the fact that Ultimecia has been given an entirely different name (she is called Artemisia) in said edition, there is hardly anything characteristical to be found about her… well, except that she hates SeeDs and loves time compression, of course, I was able to grasp that much o.0 Her figure of speech is pretty bland also, but I do believe that this is not so in the US/Japanese/International or whichever version of the game. In fact, I remember one of you guys saying that the shadow in Squall's dreams could impossibly be Ultimecia because it doesn't talk like her… Hence, I dearly apologize to all readers that can't see their familiar Ultimecia in this one, and I can only try to offer my lack of original sources as an explanation for that flaw x.x I dearly hope you can forgive me.

Thus said, I mainly based "my" Ultimecia on the characters of Dona from FFX(-2), Seishirou from Tokyo Babylon/X, as well as the evil Emperor from Star Wars, and really all other sorceressy characters my brain could somehow come up with. I think if you look close enough in these chapters and the following ones, you should find an excess of selfishness, arrogance, cold-heartedness, brutality, manipulativeness, magical expertise and all in all general megalomania, or delusions of grandeur, all traits of said characters, even if they vary in gender.

I hope that it will come down to being a good thing in the end, even if my Ulti-bitch Frankenstein creation might be light-years afar from the original Ultimecia. If all things go ill despite my earnest endeavors, I still hope you won't hate me :D


	45. Only A Step Between One And Perdition

** Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 45: "Only A Step Between One And Perdition"

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_ ..: "I'm the sorceress knight." :.. _

Those words, spat with a snarling voice drenched in both false pride and arrogance, were echoing inside Squall's mind so loudly that the brunette thought he was going to burst from the intensity. He had heard and he had understood, but he did not want to believe. Of course, the cold and barren vacancy in the green orbs that had once shone like gems of precious emerald was reality enough, yet Squall could not accept that Seifer had, once again, been turned against him like an adversarial pawn in a petty game of chess.

Why did destiny always place them on opposite fronts?

Breathing sharply through thinly parted lips, Squall was desperately trying to comprehend how Ultimecia had managed to pit Seifer against him on yet another occasion. In earlier months, the brunette had come to the conclusion that Seifer's change of sides had probably been natural, and all the more so been made possible by people always labeling Seifer a trouble maker and never giving him a chance to prove that he was more than a mere rebel. Instead, they had excluded him from numerous training courses, loaded the most ridiculous chores upon him and branded him a disturber of the peace with nothing but a lack of discipline, when all he had ever wanted was to become a SeeD.

Indeed, there had been ample factors caused by uptight instructors and cold-hearted former officials that had laid down a most beneficiary soil for the sorceress to harvest upon, and, more likely than not, those had ultimately resulted in Seifer's primal "treason".

This one, however, Squall blamed solely on himself.

"Seifer," he tried again hopefully, choking down his hurt feelings. "That's not you."

He only managed to stir an amused laugh from the blonde in front of him and the sorceress in his back. Seifer was casually tapping his gunblade against his shoulder, but his eyes had zeroed in on Squall in a most aggravating manner. The rapturous glint in those jade oculates was more than concerning, and Squall's senses had been flipped to alert status a long time ago.

Still, he couldn't be found wavering.

"She's using you, Seifer. Don't let her. You're stronger than that."

"You're the only one that's ever been using me."

As thoroughly poised and careless as Seifer might have whispered those words, they did sting deep within Squall's soul. To be told that he had been using Seifer was more than unsettling, but worst of all, _something_ was trying to convince the brunette that his opposite was utterly right, and said 'something' was feasting eagerly upon the agony erected by the blonde's cruel statement.

"But that's stopping right here and right now," Seifer continued.

Eyebrows converged and his mouth crushed to a narrow line, Squall was carefully watching how Seifer stepped closer to him with that typical self-satisfied, malicious smirk curling his lips in joyful anticipation.

"You don't know what you're saying," Squall bristled. "That's not you talking. I know it's not."

"See what I care about your opinion, Leonhart."

Gasping in shock, Squall ducked a sudden quick and almost invisible coup of Seifer's blade that had been dealt right to his chest. Quickly, he edged back a step or two, his features contorted painfully at the mask of delight that was Seifer's face.

"You're fast," the blonde commented happily. "Let's see just _how_ fast you are, ice prince."

Again, the brunette had to twirl half-way around his own axis to evade yet another dangerous flick of the other man's sword. Had the first strike only appeared like a mere attempt of testing his reactions and playing with his mind, this one had definitely been aimed to hurt him.

Playfully, Seifer clicked his tongue as if in frustration over his miss, but the jeer in his eyes belied that canting gesture.

Squall let out a hiss of air.

"Sei-"

This time, the brunette had hesitated just a second too long in his efforts of breaking through to Seifer's clouded consciousness. A horizontally swung blow had slashed into his left biceps before he had been able to dodge out of reach, and the sharp pain that seared through his arm forced Squall to bite down hard upon his teeth.

With pleasure, the blonde intently studied the trail of cerise blood that came oozing out of the gaping lesion inflicted by his very hands. Deepest crimson was snaking its way into the white fabric of Squall's shirt, quickly tingeing it in the vibrant color of the SeeD commander's life stream.

"Not so fast after all, I reckon," the sorceress knight observed with a complacent sneer.

When Seifer lunged his blade out in a repeated shot at injuring his younger rival, Squall realized that he ran a good chance of losing a few limbs or worse if he wouldn't start to defend himself any time soon. Hence, he let his gaze roam his surrounding in search of his sword, and he found it laying only a few feet away, at the same spot to which Seifer had tossed it short minutes before.

Squall sped for the glassy looking blade without hesitation, and as he ducked yet another fearsome blow, he managed to drop low into his knees and snatched LionHeart off the ground as he rose back to full height, immediately flipping the weapon in his hands and taking a defensive stance.

Instantly, Squall had to recognize that his sacred gunblade was no more. Sure, it looked a sword like most, but the brunette could feel the difference at his very touch. The lucid spirit that had once streamed through the handle into his every movement had been vanquished, and left was nothing but a dead shell that trembled in an aura of ash and decay.

All in all, it was much more difficult for Squall to bear that feeling of rotten goodness than the stinging ache in his upper arm.

"You gonna try and fight me with that piece of shit? Oh please." Seifer drawled ironically.

More laborious than anything, though, was the rite of stomaching the blonde's hostile presence.

Looking at Seifer in his current state, listening to his sniggering and absorbing the hatred in his condescending words was getting far too much to bear. The pain was comparable to that of a glass splinter slowly working its way into one's heart, carefully ensuring to cause an extra great amount of damage and leave a soul that would be broken beyond repair.

Despite his years as an orphan and a mercenary, the brunette could not recall to ever have felt such raw and clawing misery.

Ignoring his physical anguish was easily accomplished, banishing the mental agony however, was not.

With a snort of laughter that was oblivious or indifferent to the brunette's dismay, Seifer charged for Squall's figure under the watchful eyes of the sorceress Ultimecia and the Guardian Force Griever once more. This time, however, the smaller brunette fiercely met the blonde's silver blade with his own. The dead sword LionHeart was vibrating in Squall's grasp at the force of the impact, and the SeeD had trouble stabilizing it in his hold.

"You're too funny, Leonhart. Don't tell me you really believe you can beat me with that thing?"

Instead of answering, Squall caught another series of blows that were dealt right to his most viable body parts, and he found himself steadily retreating from the blonde's form, which only provoked another cynical remark from his opponent.

"In fact, do you really think you can beat me at all?" Seifer laughed spitefully, while aiming stoically for the brunette's body.

And as Squall continuously dodged those assaults with all the dexterity and elegance his unsettled self could muster, he realized that in the end, Seifer was in some sense all too right.

He could not win.

Yet, there was still one flaw in the blonde's theory.

"You'll never beat me with that thing."

Seifer seemed oddly content in that brilliant realization of his, and for a moment, he halted in his onslaught. In front of him, Squall was still lowered slightly and standing on bended knees, a perfect posture when trying to defend oneself. His breath came tumbling low from his chest in an erratic rhythm, much too fast and much too shallow. His eyes were gleaming with restive alert as he had locked them upon Seifer's, but deep within, he was thinking.

Was he really letting this happen?

After all that had been?

There was still that fell voice echoing inside his head, eagerly trying to drown out his concerns and working hard on tangling his thoughts, but its power had lessened distinctly ever since Seifer's attacks.

Of course.

Controlling two minds was, after all, much more troublesome than toying with just one.

And as that realization finally struck Squall as it should have had so long ago, so did the memories of the passed weeks that had changed his life and soul much more than he had ever thought possible. Images were flashing in front of his inner eye at rapid speed; images that had burnt themselves into his heart forever and that never had anything to do with Ultimecia.

Seifer - standing in the doorway of Squall's hospital room, still holding open the door in insecure confusion and poorly hidden discomfort.

Seifer - cooking dinner on their very first night, so carefully ensuring that Squall would eat.

Seifer - laying on the couch with his head close to Squall's leg, smiling as if nothing bad had ever happened to either of them.

Seifer - organising a picnic in the orchard that Squall had only too much enjoyed.

Seifer - saving Squall's life in the cavernous darkness of a night in which the hurt brunette had meant to put an end to his own existence.

Seifer - steadying Squall in the shower and easing his pain, simply by being there and holding him close.

Seifer - curing Squall's fever and morgue longings with selfless gentleness and infinite patience.

Seifer - going out for a dinner with Squall on a night that couldn't have been more beautiful.

Seifer - kissing Squall in a long suppressed act of love and desire.

The essence of all those memories, all those pictures, was and always had been Seifer Almasy. And the feelings that Squall could effortlessly connect with each of those images couldn't possibly be any closer to true affection, ceaseless thankfulness and a happiness that the brunette had never experienced before.

_True_ feelings, indeed.

One year ago, Squall had willingly let Seifer go, but this time, everything was different.

The eighteen year old brunette had been frightened to his very core, and his coldly exercised calm had been shattered into a thousand pieces at the prospect of losing his friend and rival yet again. He had been able to handle Seifer's first leave, but the prospect of a second departure he was unwilling to consent or even accept.

Sure, it would have been easy enough to blame the change of his emotions on Ultimecia's involvement, but Squall knew better than that.

Sentiments of such tempestuousness, nourished and steadied over almost two decades of time, couldn't simply be engrafted into somebody's psyche by mere manipulation, no matter how powerful the intruder might have been to begin with.

Feelings, after all, were not borne by the mind but by the heart.

And as Squall slowly straightened his knees, raising his head high in defiance and lowering his sword in a surrendering gesture of innocence, he snapped his glare to the sorceress' arrogant face and slit his eyes with greatest self assurance.

"You," he spoke with a voice that dominated the air with ease, "Cannot _make_ me feel anything."

Judging by the surprise that flashed across the pale woman's features, she was at least taken aback by Squall's sudden display of resistance and transcendence. The brunette, however, took no time to inquire any longer on the witch's state of mind. Instead, he flicked his head back around to gaze at Seifer.

The brawny blonde stood about a good ten feet away from the SeeD's position, and he was eyeing Squall with peculiar interest. The younger could see no change in either his friend's expression or his posture, but he hadn't expected to find any in the first place.

In any case, he _was_ fully aware of Ultimecia's potency concerning mind control.

"Seifer."

The blonde gave another rasp chuckle at the sound of his name, voiced with deepest intimacy from the lips of a brunette he could not really recall to ever have carried any romantic feelings for.

"Spare me your bullshit, Leonhart," he groaned with feigned annoyance.

"I have no reason to bullshit you," Squall answered impassively, and the simple energy in those words forced Seifer's ears to perk up. "None of what I'm going to tell you now is any less but the truth."

Lazily, the blonde shifted his weight and commenced tapping his gunblade against his shoulders once more, his face giving away neither curiosity nor interest.

Deep down though, he was listening, despite that familiar nagging voice trying to pique his anger.

"You're right," Squall continued. "I can't beat you."

With those words, his right fist unclenched finger by finger, ultimately dropping the sword it had thus far been holding. The eviscerated form of LionHeart hit the nocturnal onyx ground with a clatter, but Squall did not bat a lash at the sound. His stare was fixed upon his friend, and his figure was absolutely motionless.

Across from him, Seifer arched a golden eyebrow as if in doubt over Squall Leonhart's sanity.

That SeeD was stupid enough to cast away his weapon in the cross hair of the enemy?

Figures.

_ 'But… why?' _

Irritation and confusion rippled atop the surface of Seifer's viridian green eyes, inevitably feeding Squall with all the information that he had needed.

This cause was yet far from lost.

"I could never beat you, because I don't want to."

Vainly, the blonde snickered at that 'preposterous' comment, but he shut up quickly as he saw no motion coming from the fair lines of Squall's face and the sea blue depths of his watchful oculates.

Was he serious?

"You, Seifer, are the last person on this planet that I would want to harm, and that has nothing to do with Ultimecia, or anyone else for that matter. It concerns nobody but you."

Squall's right, gloved hand had moved to the wound inflicted upon his biceps, and he sighed deeply as he closed his palm over the gaping flesh. He didn't even think of using a cure spell on himself; all he wanted was to touch the only connection that existed between him and Seifer for the time being.

All along, he had sensed so strongly that Seifer was more to him than a mere rival or even a helpful friend. Whether or not his trenchant doubts had been risen by the witch Ultimecia or his general lack of experience concerning human relationships was of course debatable, but he knew that he would rather lay down his own life than hurt the blonde man in front of him in any way. At some point, he might have felt different, and he probably had, but the past did no longer matter.

Seifer Almasy had given him warmth, comfort and, for the very first time in his eighteen year long existence, the feeling of not being alone in this world that was almost as cold as his heart had once been.

Like hell if he was going to destroy that.

"I owe my life to you," he whispered gently and with much more strain to his voice, "And I will forever be in your debt. I know that I always acted too preoccupied to care, but that's not how I really felt. I… I had built all those walls around me, because I was afraid of being hurt. I didn't want to let anybody in. I pushed you away, countless times, I… I realize that now. And you know what… I was wrong."

A sad smile twitched across Squall's lips at the sound of that last statement, and even Seifer's frown had frozen in place, giving him much resemblance to a bronze statue. Unnoticed, the sneer had faded from his reflection, and while two demons were still battling fiercely deep within his consciousness, he couldn't do much but listen to the soothing calm in Squall's voice.

Afar from them, Ultimecia was watching the scene with rising impatience, but she was still too much of a megalomaniac to realize that her own influence on her sorceress knight was crumpling under the sincerity of Squall's clumsy, but heartfelt revelations. Furthermore, even she was easily enthralled by such an unexpected display of emotions, coming from the very ice prince himself, closest human kin to the guardian force Shiva that had probably ever graced the green of the planet.

It was intriguing, to say the least.

"You were always there for me, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I couldn't trust myself to believe that maybe… you really cared for me… so I didn't want to care for you, either. I guess I was just fooling myself, and I'm not sure why I actually fell for my own lies. I should have known. Like… like when we were kids and we were admitted into Garden… you have no idea how glad I was that you were with me. I was so frightened… and as much trouble as we always had, there is no other person that I would've rather wanted to have around me all those years. _None_ other, not even Ellone."

Steadily, Squall's voice had slowed to a rasp drawl, raw emotions swaying in each intonation that pressed past his tongue. His gaze had never left Seifer's face, and with every little secret that he managed to free from the iron keep of his heart, his eyes were shifting colors from stormy grey to sanguine sapphire, hue by hue.

Drawing an arduous breath through his nose, he continued.

"And you know why I was so upset last night? I wasn't even angry… I was just… hurt, I guess. You probably don't even remember, but when you were talking to Fujin, you said that you were going to leave Balamb Garden before long. I… I was… shocked, I think, even if it was wrong of me to just assume that things would stay the way that they were. I didn't see how frustrated you were, I was so blind. I don't know what I was thinking, but I know that the prospect of losing you scared me more than anything in my life ever has…"

There was still no reaction to be perceived from Seifer's end, not until the brunette suddenly took two steps into his direction. Immediately, the blonde flipped up his sword in a mechanic gesture, his hand trembling only ever so slightly. His face was a mask, a shadow, entirely expressionless, but Squall was frightened neither by that nor by the sharp edge of the blade that was unmistakably pointed at his chest. By abandoning LionHeart, he had not only dropped his weapon, but also torn down all the walls and defenses that he had pulled up around himself over the greater part of his young life.

Squall had surrendered entirely, and still, he was not scared.

"You know," he breathed with a smile, "I'm not here because some manipulative voice in my head told me to come. I'm here because you asked me to. I think… I think I was always too proud to tell you how I felt, and I was way too afraid to get hurt. I guess I could just so damn easily blame all my emotions and my difficulties on Ultimecia, but that wouldn't be the truth. Truth is, I cared for you years before that bitch thought she could mess with our lives."

Long after Hyperion's tip had already grazed the fabric of the shirt covering Squall's skin, the brunette could witness how Seifer was gradually retracting his sword arm, inch by inch and synchronous to the pace that Squall was stepping into him.

The younger halted about an arm's length before the blonde, one hand still pressed against his biceps.

"Stop," Seifer finally groaned with faltering arrogance. "I'm the sorceress knight, SeeD."

Squall lowered his head and his gaze, but his lips were still drawn to a gentle smile.

"That's fine, too," he replied with a soft shrug of his shoulders. "I know you're listening. That's all that matters."

Suddenly, he removed his hand from his wound, and both men stared intently at the blood drenching the dark leather. Squall had to blink past the silver of Hyperion that was still tipped against his chest, and with a quiet sigh, he peeled his gloves off his fingers. First, he removed the right, blood-soaked one, then the other, and he let them flop to the ground carelessly. On his right hand, he was wearing the ring that Seifer had returned to him from Rinoa's keeping, but he paid no real attention to that. His focus was heeded to the reddish scars imprinted into his palms.

"Remember," Squall spoke up again, "How you touched these in the restaurant?"

Vaguely, he raised his hands to Seifer's eyes, and he could see how the blonde was glancing at them before he cast his arcanely blue vision back towards the ground as if in embarrassment.

"You said that everything would heal with time. I never believed into that 'all things will heal with time' bullshit, but I think you were right. You were right, because you meant it. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be alive anymore. I don't really know why I wanted to kill myself that night, whether it was her fault or mine, but I would have done it, if it hadn't been for you. You… saved me. You've saved me all along, even though I fought against it, even though I never wanted to trust you. I was so wrong. I recovered, because of you. I'd be lost and long gone without you, but I'm… really thankful that I'm not. And now… now… I don't want to lose you."

He flicked his gaze up anew at that statement, his eyes shining with earnest emotion and dedication behind lashes of deepest black. His heart was pounding ceaselessly, and he quivered when he saw that at least some of the dullness in the green gems that were fixed upon him had faded. He knew that he was still in danger, that he could still be fatally pierced by that blade that had wounded him countless times, but he also understood that surrendering alone would not save the man he cared for so very deeply.

It took an act that was even more powerful than capitulation.

It took words that he had never once spoken in his life, words that were a gift that he had never wanted to give to anyone and that, above all things, he had always considered a sign of weakness.

Words that couldn't have sounded more sincere, because they were spoken from the very bottom of his heart.

"I trust you."

And as he cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, consciously intensifying the sparkle in his ocean blue eyes and the warmth in his smile, he drew his right foot heavily off the onyx ground and took a firm step forward.

Because one step was all that he had.

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** To be continued!

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**

Yay, I'm home sick and I got to write and make everyone else sick, too! I'm horrible. 

Well, this is it. Squall has finally gotten his act together. It only took him, what, eighteen years and 45 chapters? But you have to give him credit, at some point I thought he was gonna be a stuck up asshole forever o.0 How successful he was with his revelations you won't get to see until next chapter, I'm afraid.

Some of you might be surprised that he did NOT say the magic three words. Well... he -is- Squall, after all. And, you might disagree but, I think the words "I trust you" hold just as much magic for him as the other three words would have. Of course, that's just my impression of him and you may hate me for it dearly. I do have a plan of whether or not he is actually going to say the L-word, but alas... you won't find out about my decision until a little bit later.


	46. One Moment In Time

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 46: "One Moment In Time"

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Time is a strange phenomenon. 

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve and too short for those who rejoice. Time creates life, and with time, this life will crumple away into the shadows of nothingness. Time tears wounds into the bodies of men, and yet, with time, those wounds will heal again.

Sometimes.

In this ever flowing river of time, one step may not seem of much importance. It may take a second, hardly more, hardly less. During one day, a man takes about 4,900 gaits, maybe more, maybe less.

One day counts twenty four hours…

4,900 steps per day…

… And yet, sometimes, one step and one second can make all the difference in the world.

The difference between love and hate.

The difference between life and death.

Whether or not Squall Leonhart was aware of the significance of that one, fearless step that he took in the flaring darkness of his very own Armageddon could or could not be questioned.

Did it matter?

Probably not.

The only thing capable of changing anything for better or for worse was the very act that Squall committed by walking open eyed into the deadly tip of a sword that had been raised to his chest, neither inclining his gaze nor his faith in a moment that had doubtlessly been drawn out of time and out of existence.

Two men - parted by one step, one sword and almost nineteen years of blind ignorance.

And yet, one brunette SeeD commander took that step, daring both his life and his trust into the basic goodness of the man that he cared for. He could have been called foolish, naïve in his belief perhaps, but as he felt the tip of that man's blade pushing into his skin, he neither faltered nor edged away.

His mind was set.

_ ..: "I trust you." :.. _

And his faith did not forsake him.

Like a knife, slashing through ancient cob webs of peril, were the words that he had spoken bare of any trace of fear or doubt. They were light in the darkness, breaking the spell that evil had held upon Squall's friend with nothing more than the reality of a love long suppressed.

The moment that Squall had raised his voice and set forth his foot, everything else had faded from Seifer's consciousness, including the virulent snarl of the sorceress that had so effortlessly kept him under her control.

His eyes shattered wide at the sight of Squall walking into his sword, and without hesitating but a second, Seifer yanked his arm backwards, withdrawing the fatal threat imposed upon the brunette SeeD that, finally, he remembered he loved so desperately.

He had acted quickly, and he didn't even acknowledge the pain caused by the force of the abrupt motion as his shoulder was almost torn out of its socket; frozen to a statue, he was staring straight ahead into the bottomless darkness, only partly seeing how Squall stood the distance of a breath apart from him.

Squall finally lowered his head and let out a relieved sigh as he noted the reincarnated healthy glow in Seifer's jade green eyes.

"Seifer," the brunette whispered, "You're back."

Indeed relieved to his very core, Squall allowed himself to lean his forehead against the broadness of Seifer's shoulder, trying to keep his body from shaking while his bare hands were clenching at his sides.

He had succeeded. Seifer had withdrawn. He had returned.

He had finally returned, to him.

"You're back."

Only slowly and fighting the spinning carousel that was his mind, the blonde in front of him could admit to himself what had just happened. His sword. The sorceress. He had almost killed the one that he loved and had never wanted to inflict any harm upon. He didn't know why, and he didn't really know what exactly had been happening, all that he remembered was a gentle voice that had spoken to him, a voice that he knew and that had drowned out the evil inside his head.

Squall's voice.

The brunette's words wouldn't phase into his mind clearly anymore, but he recalled the very essence of them - Love, trust and understanding.

Trust?

_ 'Hyne, what have I done…?' _

Squall had trusted him, and he had almost speared the boy with the length of Hyperion.

Gasping, the blonde let go of his sword, allowing it to drop to the ground heavily and with a sound that could have pierced his eardrums. Abandoning his weapon did not help much in abandoning his knowledge of what had almost happened, though.

"Squall," he croaked hoarsely. "Why… why did you…"

At his collar bone, the brunette drew his lips into a smile.

"I believed in you."

Hissing through his teeth, Seifer grasped the boy by his upper arms, edging their bodies apart almost panically. His gaze roamed Squall's face for a trace of its typical coldness, for something that he couldn't even put his finger on… but it wasn't there. Squall's eyes shone in the blue of a waveless ocean, twinkling as if a handful of stars had dropped into the darkness of those waters and filled them with life.

He was still smiling.

"Are you crazy?"

Seifer had trouble spitting out the words, his hands shaking Squall's body in an open display of his roughed up emotions.

"I almost killed you!"

The younger man only shrugged softly at that remark, his languid smile almost transforming into a bold smirk.

"No, you didn't."

"What! How… you don't know that! I could have-"

"No, Seifer," Squall interrupted calmly. "Trust me."

"Squall…"

He was still grasping Squall slightly below his shoulders, but he had stopped rocking the lean body back and forth. The lucid green of his eyes was boring into the fathomless blue of Squall's, yet again searching for a sign that that the brunette was only toying with him and his vulnerable mind. Squall's face was sincere though, almost shy and innocent in its ethereal beauty.

Seifer felt his knees go weak.

"I don't understand."

"I know," the younger replied evenly. "It's my fault. I should have told you long ago, not when some manic sorceress possesses your mind. I-"

"Shit, Squall! What's with your arm!"

Not until then had Seifer grown aware of the sticky wetness in the hollow of his right palm, which had still been curved around Squall's left biceps. After removing it in a flash of a shock, he found what he had already been expecting fearfully.

Blood.

A gaping flesh wound had been etched deeply into the brunette's left arm, and really, Seifer should have noticed the crimson liquid covering almost half of Squall's sleeve long ago. Surely, he had been preoccupied and lost in his friend's azure gaze, but he scolded himself all the same.

"Fuck, Squall!"

The brunette only heeded his injury with a half-glance, and he would have shrugged yet again hadn't Seifer's hands been firming his muscles in place like a full metal vice.

"It's nothing."

"Nothing! You're bleeding!" Seifer yelped in unnecessary hysteria.

Worse than that apprehension, though, was the fact that this wound, though minor it might have been, had obviously been inflicted by the edge of his Hyperion. A curt look at his blood-tainted blade resting on the ground beside his foot only confirmed Seifer's assumption.

"That was me," the blonde muttered with ghastly disbelief. "I hurt you."

"Seifer," his opposite groaned, "It's nothing. You didn't hurt me. It was the sorceress."

"No. No, it was me. I let her take me over, it's my fucking fault, I-"

"Seifer, will you shut up? Calm down. It's just a cut."

Unfortunately, Squall's words could not manage to lessen Seifer's guilt. The blonde had injured Squall on countless occasions throughout their childhood and beyond, but this was nothing like it. He had sworn to himself to protect the brunette, to guard him and his life by all means necessary, and he had downright failed. Even worse than that, he had allowed the witch to assimilate his mind and use his body to harm his friend and love.

What a deadbeat.

"How could I let this happen," he growled hopelessly, shaking his head and clenching his eyelids shut as if to chase away the memories and the disgust towards himself that was coiling his stomach. "I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I let her…"

Suddenly, he was halted in his self-hatred by the feeling of a chilly palm folding against the side of his jaw. Snapping his eyes open in surprise, he glued his stare to Squall's face and the gentle reproach that he could read there. The touch of the brunette's skin was icy, revealing his inner imbalance and stress, but his smile was smouldering warm like an open fire.

"You didn't let her. She's a sorceress, remember? She can take over minds that are in doubt in the matter of a second if she wishes," Squall explained evenly. "And you know what, it was my fault that you were doubtful in the first place. I should have told you how I felt. Not just today, I should have told you long ago. She was messing with my mind earlier, too, I could feel it. But she chose you as her ultimate victim, because she hates me and because she wanted to see me harm the only person I care for. Too bad for her that her plan backfired."

"But I-"

Before Seifer could have started into another tirade of regret and chastisement, Squall cocked his head aside and slanted his face wryly. The gesture in itself was so adorable that Seifer had to crush his mouth close and revert to staring in blissful awe.

"Shh," the younger vocalized the thoughts that were written in the fine lines of his face. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"Squall… I never wanted to hurt you," the blonde sighed in defeat.

"I know, Seifer," Squall whispered gently. "I never doubted that. Not even for a second."

The moment could have been magical, perhaps, hadn't it been for the unpleasantly high pitched shriek that then pierced the windless air. Both gunbladers winced at the sound, and they turned their heads to the left of them.

"That's _enough_!"

Of course. How could they have forgotten?

Ultimecia, the cause of most of their problems, was still quite alive and present, witnessing the failure of her own spell work and the long awaited reunion of the timid lovers and sandbox rivals.

How abhorrently sweet.

Indeed, though disgusted she had been, watching the two young men _had_ provided for some sort of odd and unknown fascination. The lovebirds had been quite caught up in their own little world of petty feelings and woes, too busy to even acknowledge her ominous presence. She had observed the scene quietly, but with every passing second, her anger had grown. This petulant SeeD had dared to cross her plans yet again, and sorceresses are not easily amused by such open display of rebellion.

Particularly not a sorceress that carried deep aspirations for world and time domination.

She had worked hard for this one, too hard to be allowing two diminutive boys to interfere with her brilliant conspiration. For almost twelve months, she had been trapped in a world that was much similar to the current environment of her choice that was surrounding them. Trapped inside a sword with her guardian, always under the watchful eyes of this snappy little SeeD commander. Sure, messing with his head had provided some form of amusement, but it had been rather mild in nature.

Overall, she had to admit, she hadn't done much more than lure the brunette into horrendous nightmares and steadily sucking up his strength. Every now and then, she had enjoyed to meddle in Squall's relationship to that girl Rinoa, the one that had possessed the powers of the witch Edea at some point, but Squall had been so obsessed with that nasty failure of a certain sorceress knight that Ultimecia's powers had hardly been needed to destroy said relationship. Indeed, she _had_ pushed the brunette to mutter Seifer's name in his sleep and in the company of Rinoa, and she had thoroughly savored the reflection of utter terror in the annoying girl's face, but overall, the experience of "living" with Squall Leonhart had been a rather bland one.

Hence, she had waited, bidding her time and waiting for the perfect day to gather her regained powers and finish what should have been accomplished almost a year ago - The domination of all life on this pitiful planet as well as the eradication of anyone that had ever been admitted into the ranks of SeeD.

Professedly, she had been a little concerned when Seifer Almasy had actually dared to enter the scene of her perfectly set up play. The powers of her SeeD puppet had already withered away to such an extent that Squall had no longer meant any harm to her return, and with LionHeart lost in the training grounds, neither had anybody else. That was, until Seifer had showed up.

Ah, and yes, LionHeart, the vessel. Why ever that sword had shone so blue at Seifer's first appearance was a riddle, even to her. Her foul mood at being faced with Seifer's involvement surely should have influenced the color to take on a rather nocturnal shade of black.

Oh, Ultimeca was quite aware of the sword changing colors synchronous to her emotions. She hadn't actually thought anyone capable of deciphering said phenomenon, though, and there wasn't much she could have done to prevent it in the first place. She had tried to manually alter the indigo tint of LionHeart to mask her presence, yet her attempts had proved futile.

Well, what did it matter.

Everything _had_ worked out rather splendidly.

This was the spot she had chosen for the final act of her play, where SeeD would face sorceress before the last curtain call. And even if she hadn't accomplished to twist the sorceress knight against his precious little SeeD friend once more, her trumps were yet far from spent.

Squall Leonhart was going to die, and the useless form of Seifer Almasy would fade into oblivion right along with him.

Side by side, they would enter death in all that sickening glory that was their trivial little boyhood love.

Naïve until the end...

Tch.

How very sweet indeed.

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**To be continued!

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**

This chapter was rather short, I admit, and I've had some trouble writing it. I do hope my explanations make sense to you, and I will dearly try to clear up any remaining questions/riddles that I scattered throughout the story. 

Other than that, maybe some of you recognized the quote I used at the very beginning of the chapter. Here it is again:

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love time is eternity." Henry Van Dyke.

Other than that, I did a little bit of research on how many steps a human takes per day. There are statistics for all sorts of weird things on the web, let me tell you o.O 4,900 is quite a lot, huh? My poor feet.


	47. For You

** Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 47: For You

This chapter is dedicated to my friend Kail, who is a wonderful person, a talented artist and writer, and who has been going through the roughest of times. Even though she had a "man to save the day", I know that things are not easy on her right now. My best wishes go out to you Kail, I hope that they will reach you :) May you always have a guardian angel watching over you, wherever your life may lead you, and may you never stop smiling.

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"That's _enough_!" 

Two words and a thoroughly unpleasant tone of voice did everything to reclaim Seifer's and Squall's attention. They felt as if they had been spouted out of a pleasant fairy tale, harshly and without a warning, only to crash upon the unforgiving hardness of the onyx surfaced ground with a soundless thud. Hopeful dreams and gentle visions of love and desire apparently meant nothing in this witch-made dimension of illusions. It was a dire lection to be learning, but even so, a most necessary one without a doubt.

Even if they did not need to _forget_ the past that lay between them, they still needed to cease to dwell on it if they wanted to stand a chance in preserving a future – together.

And thus, reality had them back.

Of course, they should have slapped one another sharply for their careless ignorance of Ultimecia's looming presence, and admittedly, that intention of girding themselves for well-deserved punishment had crawled darkly across each of their minds.

But then again, who could have really blamed them?

Broken spells, shyly avowed feelings and a dangerous dance atop the edge of a knife that could have very well put an end to either of their young lives – without a doubt, the past five or so minutes had been engaging ones.

On top of that, even if at some point in history either of them might have denied it, they _were_ 'only' human after all.

Still, even more so shocked and contrite were the SeeD commander and his older friend over their own lapidary failure in prioritizing a repeated annihilation of the sorceress above their own, private emotions. They should have known better, considering that they were well trained soldiers with countless years of experience to their names and many a scar etched into their skin, each of them silent evidence of a past that had never been short of battles and violence.

On the other hand, maybe said blood strewn past was quite the core of their recurrent problems?

Either way, there was obviously no time to wonder, and thus two young faces were contorted in mutual compunction when two boys forced their sapphire and peridot gazes to abandon their counterpart's reflection and slide leftways into the direction that Ultimecia's high-pitched voice had been erected from.

Apparently, the witch had risen from her bizarre throne during the devolution of their intimate revelations, and the sudden stiffness to her formerly lax pose was mute testimony to her smoldering fury.

At the woman's side, the arcane guardian Griever was as ceremoniously motionless as ever.

Ultimecia, however, was less furtive in the display of her apparently unsettled state of mind. After all, she _had_ remained quiet long enough, entangled in that heroic spectacle of friendship, trust and love, each of which said emotions she despised even more than the other.

It was time to put those unmannerly boys back into their place.

"Enough of this nonsense."

Afar from her, the gunbladers had huddled closer together instinctively; finally, they were uniting against the common foe.

According to Ultimecia's opinion, they were almost amusing to watch.

Squall, the SeeD that had always been fashionably sensitive but too cool to care, would shift from one foot onto another restlessly, piercing the man at his side with curt side glances out of true blue eyes that tried to appear secure, but in which the calm had long been shattered. Those eyes didn't want to take in the guilt from Seifer's viridian oculates, nor did they want to accept the concern that was rippling across the stern green surface.

Forcing down the dry lump jarred inside his throat and digging his fingers into his palms, the brunette struggled to convince himself that there was not a thing to worry about. He had defeated this evil before, and he would defeat it again. How, he did not know yet, but he had never been one to waver or dismay. He had too much to lose, too much to protect, and he _would_ protect it, come hell or high water.

After all, he was Squall Leonhart, and he carried that name for a reason.

All in all, Squall wasn't entirely sure how to go about this battle, though. Usually, he took ample time to study his enemies, took assessment of their strengths and their weaknesses. This time, though, he had been caught by surprise, and though he could still pin-point several of the sorceress' assets and flaws, he was painfully robbed of means to oppose her with.

One definite weakness, of course, was Ultimecia's foolish condescence concerning his person, which was just too obvious in her words and in her dismissive looks; it was _so_ obvious that Squall didn't quite know what to make of it. Questions were raking his mind for answers that he did not have.

Why hadn't Ultimecia finished them off while they had been too wrapped up in their conversation? Did she really hold that much faith into her (professedly) intricately spun nets of deception and treason that she would allow herself such a stuporous slip-up?

Apparently so.

Squall started to seriously cudgel is brain over the question of whether Ultimecia's powers had increased significantly throughout the imprisonment in his sword, or whether she was plainly smitten by serious delusions of grandeur. In any case, she was no longer outnumbered like she had once been, and that simple fact alone could provide for more trouble than either of the boys had bargained for.

They would have to be very careful.

"Your incompetence is sordid," the iniquitous woman suddenly spat, "as are those pathetic feelings that you'd _so_ like to label 'love'. That 'love' of yours is nothing but an illusion that I have revoked, it was never anything else! You insolent children are mere puppets in my show. I, and _I_ alone, pull the strings that give your petty lives a meaning, don't you ever forget that!"

Her ferocious amber eyes had narrowed to mere smudged slits as her voice ascended new levels of abhorrence, and Squall noticed how the long fingers of her pale right hand were coiling restlessly. He knew of the wordless threat embedded in that seemingly inconspicious gesture, and with the instincts of a battle steeled mercenary, his gaze immediately started to scan the grounds for their cast-away gunblades.

Sighing in relief, Squall noted that at least Seifer's Hyperion was within reach.

As if the blonde had followed his friend's train of thought, he too was now staring down upon the crimson stained blade that lay forebodingly in short distance of his feet. It would be easy enough to grasp its hilt, really, it was waiting for him only a curt leap afar.

Still..

As Seifer was still debating whether or not overly abrupt movements were exactly a brilliant idea in their current situation, Squall begun to roam the back of his mind for halfway useful spells. He had to deflect his junctioned magic and guardian forces, transforming his natural warrior type layout into that of a spellcaster. The reasons for this change in balance was obvious; he didn't actually fool himself into believing that LionHeart resembled more than a mere bread knife now, considering that all of its super natural energies had been drained dry like a creek in the cactaur desert.

Apparently, Ultimecia agreed with the SeeD's unspoken woes entirely, and she never grew tired of vocalizing her opinion, if only to hear herself talk.

"Your pitiful skills and useless weapons can do nothing to harm me," she denounced boastfully. "LionHeart has lost all power to unleash limit breaks, without which you will never be able to even dream of causing me noteworthy damage. And even if that sword _was_ fully effective, you possess neither the strength nor the prowess to defeat me, SeeD. You boys are insects that I will squash beneath the bottom of my heels, and there is _nothing_ that either of you could do about it… least of all _you_, failure of a sorceress knight!"

Seifer's ears perked up at the sneer that had doubtlessly been aimed at him, and he was momentarily distracted from the unyielding form of his sword. Snarling ever so softly and glowering darkly out forest green eyes, he shifted into a purposely cocky position, leisurely crossing his arms in front of his chest and tilting his chin a few inches towards the sky. He did have to force himself to ignore the patch of drying blood that was signing one of his hands, but he didn't allow a shadow of guilt or weakness to tide across his features at the sight.

Or so he thought, anyway.

"Your life is as meaningless as it has always been. While your eager little SeeD companion can die with the pitiful knowledge that at least once, he was blessed with the luck of surviving a battle concurred with my very self, _you_ have never been anything short of a vast and pathetic failure," Ultimecia declared with a voice soft as thunder, before she suddenly levitated her casting hand before her chest and it came ablaze in an unexpected shroud of black light.

"Your have proved your utter redundancy on yet another occasion, so fall witness to the eradication that all failures are doomed to bend their knees to."

Every fibre of Seifer's unrelenting body froze in mute shock when the fatal danger that Squall had already been anticipating uncoiled before their very eyes. It unraveled in the simplest flick of a hand that was raised high above the slate haired sorceress' head; a thrust of muscles that seemed lanky, yet bore incredible magical fortitude. For the length of a heartbeat, Seifer thought that he had seen something similar before, but he was too graveled to contemplate the odd familiarity of the gesture any further.

This definitely wasn't the time to be thinking.

This was the time to be acting.

Dropping low into his knees, Seifer pivoted on the spot with the innate suppleness of a predator, his fingers stretching and reaching for the one thing that promised him a mirage of safety - Hyperion.

Seifer had never before truly battled a magician, and in the haste of the moment he failed to realize that swords and armor were of little protection against the lethal spell work invoked by a sorceress of Ultimecia's competence. Yet, in his earnest wish to do just one thing right and to finally guard the man that he had sworn to protect, he would only rely whole-heartedly upon the weapon that had served him loyally throughout the years.

Spells, Seifer had none to whip up, anyway.

.. Much unlike somebody else.

Squall could merely estimate how much power exactly Ultimecia's building incantation would unleash in due course, but contrary to Seifer he _was_ proficient in his knowledge concerning combat against magical foes; paired with the unrelenting urge to ward the man that he loved against all possible harm, said knowledge did everything in pushing the brunette to step boldly in front of Seifer's squatted figure and snap his right hand to his forehead in the heralded conjuration of a spell of his own.

The understanding of what Squall was doing came to Seifer much too late. As he turned in his position, he saw the orange, resonating light that spilled from Squall's hands and wrapped around the brunette's slim figure in the spherical embodiment of a 'shell' incantation, but he never did see the sustained, sharp slivers of rock-hard onyx that Ultimecia had whirled at them in an absurd effigy of Edea Kramer's blizzard palm.

Squall had placed his lithe body between Seifer and the sorceress like a shield of flesh and blood, and even though he was aware of the danger, he paid it no heed. He was willing to chance his luck, test his skills and risk his life for the safety of that blonde guy that he adored so much.

He didn't even think on it a second.

Love… does strange things to people. It crosses boundaries, tears down barriers and chases away even the most engrained fears. Warriors become lovers, attackers become defenders, darkness becomes light. It takes a will, a risk - maybe even a sacrifice.

And he who pays the piper sometimes calls the tune.

In reward for his baled and risky courage, the flawless shell barrier that Squall had erected about himself managed to deflect and shatter every of the lethal missiles that had originally been sent to kill the sorceress knight. They deflagrated in a flare of black and orange light, vanishing into nothingness before their last residual shreds of ash even hit the ground.

Apparently, fortune did favor the brave.

And thus, Seifer allowed himself to heave a sigh of relief as he was bathing in the afterglow of the affirmation that Ultimecia's onslaught had been averted with skill and with ease. While his right hand quickly snatched Hyperion's hilt and his legs snapped back into an upright position, his lips quirked into a triumphant version of his trademark smirk. He chuckled, ready to mock the witch and thank his saviour, but his negligent knowledge of basic shield magic made no attempt at stirring in the crevices of his memory.

Not until he saw Squall staggering.

After that, everything happened much too fast for Seifer to comprehend. His torn-wide eyes were nailed to his friend's back, to every string of muscle moving beneath the thin fabric of his white shirt, and to the tousled strands of deep brown hair that were swaying so very softly as Squall's knees bent and buckled beneath him.

The gentle orange glow that had still been surrounding Squall's body even as it had collapsed was submitting to the darkness at last, and Seifer finally came to see the long, splintered cones of black rock protruding cruelly from the crestfallen form of his friend's figure.

And then he remembered.

_ ..: "Shell. Reduces the damage received by magic attacks by half. Provides no protection against physical damage." :.. _

Those mechanic words, rooting from some boring Garden lecture software that he had once been forced to study, were echoing loudly inside Seifer's head in the nascence of a disbelieving cry that was only stifled by his terror.

Other than that, he heard nothing.

He didn't blink. He didn't move. He didn't even _breathe_. All he could do was stare down upon Squall's figure as it was kneeling there on the ground, its head bowed heavily and its quivering arms planted down before it as a last anchor against gravity.

And still there was no sound stirring the air.

When control and consciousness ultimately surged back into Seifer's blood, though, it was comparable to the sensation of oxygen that was fed to a drowning victim; his lungs remembered how to function, and the jagged breath he sucked hungrily through his trembling windpipe almost quelled the name that he finally managed to thrust out in dismay.

"Squall!"

He abandoned his position at Squall's back and circled him, immediately crashing down upon his own two knees before him. There was no need for the blonde to perform a full assessment of the damage dealt to Squall to know that those wounds were severe.

Three jagged shards of onyx had violently pierced his friend's torso and lacerated his flesh worse than any sword ever could have done; one sliver had stopped clean in Squall's already blood-strewn left biceps, while the other two had foraminated the SeeD's ribcage and his shoulder.

Even straining his imagination, Seifer could not fathom the pain that such injures must be inflicting upon his friend. He remembered vaguely how a similar attack had been launched at the brunette a long time ago, but he could not recall how the wounds had been treated back then. His knowledge of medicine was zilch to sparse, but injuries of such measures were probably not mendable by the simple use of a potion or a curaga, anyway.

Not that he had either to begin with.

Yet again, Seifer wanted to cry out in a raw burst of emotion, but the only sound he managed to produce was a feeble, pleading wail.

"Squall… Squall, no…"

Seifer's voice was little more than the shadow of a whisper as it was quaking with the shock that was resonating deep within his soul. He was rendered helpless, too afraid to even touch his younger opposite and possibly cause more damage than had already been done. He told himself that there had to be something that he could do, something to ease Squall's agony, but the answers wouldn't come to him, no matter how hard he fought for them.

Squall himself was silent, hissing hoarsely as every breath he drew seemed to burn him from within. He was hurting too much to understand what had happened, and he was too focused on keeping his body from simple careening on its side.

Something had gone wrong.

Even so, he knew who was with him. He could hear Seifer's trembling voice before him, muttering words that he couldn't decipher but that still managed to soothe the terror in his heart.

Eventually, he strove to speak despite the blonde man's protests, and he finally managed to heave his voice to a crawl as he gazed into Seifer's face with paralyzing disbelief.

"Seifer… I…"

It was too difficult.

Squall's eyes engrossed and focused aimlessly as he cast them down upon the ground beneath him, fighting anew for the power to speak. Even for someone of his fortitude, the pain was almost unbearable. Claws of fire had been laid upon his body, digging into his shoulder, his arm and his chest without even a shadowed concept of mercy or compassion. Mist was passing before him, taking siege of his sight, and the color of his skin had become stark against the darkness.

Squall's weakness, however, was Seifer's strength. Hearing his loved one's struggling voice lightened the fires inside of his soul that had been quenched by the initial shock, and after he had dropped his gunblade once more his arms finally engulfed the brunette's body, preserving it from its imminent downfall.

"No, don't speak," he whispered as he brought his head to the brunette's ear. "I'm here. It's gonna be alright, you hear me?"

The moment that Seifer's skin made contact with Squall's, something happened that the blonde had neither expected, nor was able to conceive.

The onyx disappeared from Squall's flesh without note, scurrying into a fine haze of dust and ash with unnatural quickness. To add to the surprise, the shards left behind neither blood nor open wounds, but judging by the sudden eruption of an embryonic moan from the brunette's lips, this new development was yet far from a good one.

"Squall," Seifer stuttered nervously, while supporting the younger with all the gentleness that he could muster. "What's going on? What-"

He cringed at the cold, satisfied laughter that rung from afar.

"Foolish boy. You really thought that a simple shell could intervene with _my_ evocation?" She managed to produce yet another of those nightmare-material laughs, stirring Seifer's despair to kindle with anger. "Foolish, foolish boy."

The blonde threw a curt glance across his shoulder, watching how the sorceress sank into her throne once more, her feline eyes shining with utmost complacency.

Snorting, he elided her innuendo and readjusted his focus back to Squall, rubbing lankily along the nape of the brunette's filigree neck. He could feel Squall flinching beneath his touch, and the brunette's head was a mass of tremors against Seifer's chest.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay," the older mumbled reassuringly. "That stuff is gone, you'll be fine, you hear?"

He should have expected the maleficent giggle that followed his attempt at soothing the wretched figure in his arms.

He probably had, too.

"Don't get your hopes up, boy. Your beloved SeeD is far from unscathed."

Clamping his teeth down upon his dry lips, Seifer carried on ignoring the witch, and he carefully tilted Squall's chin up with one hand. The brunette's jaw was tense and the muscles running down the length of his throat tight as he forced himself to gulp repeatedly against the pain. It had lessened somehow after the disappearance of the invading objects, but that observation offered no comfort. He knew that something was wrong all the same.

Seifer read Squall's agony, reflected in the fine lines of his face and the askew glow in his wide eyes, and it broke his heart.

Once again, he had failed.

Seifer told himself that this entire situation was yet again to chalk to his account; Squall had tried to protect him, when really, the roles should have been reversed. Hadn't the brunette placed himself in the line of fire to protect his foolish friend, he wouldn't be wounded now. He'd be fine, he'd be well, he'd be _anything_, just not injured and in pain.

This wasn't fair.

If either of them deserved torture and pain, it was him, not Squall. Squall was the living personification of everything good and pure. Nothing he had ever done had happened out of selfishness; he had never asked for a damned thing for himself. He was the guy that would fight for a lost cause, the guy that would save an entire planet and think nothing of it, the guy that would endure greatest pain and desecration, the guy that would neither surrender nor succumb.

He was the guy that placed himself in harm's way to protect the people that he thought worthy of protection.

Fuck, he didn't _deserve_ this.

Finally, Seifer snarled defiantly. He'd fix this, somehow, and he would make up for it for the rest of his life if need be. Squall had paid dearly for saving him, and now it was time that Seifer'd make the sorceress foot her part of the bill.

That bitch was going down.

Seifer's rancorous expression softened apprehensively though, when Squall was coughing rasply in his arms.

"Shhh," Seifer cooed soothingly. "Don't move so much. You're hurt."

"Nhh…"

One sound from Squall's lips was enough to efface all anger and bitterness from Seifer's frame of mind, at least for the moment. With utmost care, he cradled the brunette in his arms and commenced to rock him slowly. There wasn't much else for him to do, and once again he cursed himself for never carrying any spells.

Damned be his cockiness.

As another cough stirred Squall's body, Seifer cast a worried look at the pale face rested against his chest. He froze immediately at the unexpected sight of thick, blackish liquid spilling from the brunette's mouth in a bubbling splutter. Concerned, the older gunblader used his index finger to run it across the rosy surface of his friend's lips, examining closely what Squall had coughed up there. It smelled fumy like oil almost and was equally greasy and slippery in nature, but there was that strange greenish tint to it that Seifer just couldn't place.

It was too dark and digressive in color to be blood, but then, what was it?

Glancing past his spotted finger at Squall, he laced his eyebrows together in concern.

_ 'Whatever this is, it sure the hell doesn't look good. What am I gonna do…?" _

He decided on lowering Squall further onto the ground for the time being, allowing him to lay back-down in order to ease his laborious breathing. Seifer actually regretted not having taken his trench coat, it would have served perfectly as a pillow. Not that it came as much of a surprise; he was obviously never prepared for the real important things.

Inwardly, he growled.

As soon as he could rest halfway assured that Squall was at least somewhat comfortable, Seifer rotated his body in his squatting position and stretched his hand for his gunblade once more. He knew that the sorceress was watching him, and he flicked his gaze up to meet her's.

"What did you do, bitch?" he snarled aggressively. "What the _fuck_ did you do to him?"

Seifer wrenched his strong fingers tightly around the cloth strewn hilt of Hyperion, tingeing it black with the unknown execration from Squall's body. Neither the cold fury and hot temper in his voice, nor the mute threat implemented in the gesture of seizing his weapon did anything to impress the queen of all witches, though.

Still, for some inscrutable reason, she seemed all too happy to comply with Seifer's not-so-polite 'request'.

"It'll be my pleasure to tell you," she replied calmly, "Even though you will not be able to draw any use from the knowledge."

Seifer shot her a death-glare that said more than a thousand words, and with a curl of his nose and a flash in his eyes, he motioned her to continue.

"He has been... kursed, you could say. One of his lungs has been crushed and infected by the onyx that penetrated his body," she elaborated impassively. "It was poisonous, you see, an attack that I once adopted and honed from a witch named Larva. She was incompetent, and I believe she seceded her meager powers to that traitor Edea. I believe _she_ was the one who appointed you her sorceress knight."

She shrugged carelessly, which caused the wings at her back to flutter just slightly against her throne and spill a rain of black feathers to the ground.

"It matters not, either way," she continued, while fixing Seifer with a stare that was thoroughly disturbing. "All that you need to know is that with every breath he takes, every move he makes and with every word that he speaks, my venom is spreading inside his veins, contaminating every fibre of his weak little body."

And then, she smiled. The gesture in itself was so falsely sweet and grotesque that it sickened Seifer to his very core, and his stomach coiled with blatant disgust.

Worse than everything, though, were the cataclysmic words that Ultimecia pushed blithely past her lips that were still quirked into that abomination of goodness.

"He is dying."

For a moment, Seifer became very still.

_ ..: "He is dying." :..  
..: "He is dying." :..  
..: "He is dying." :.. _

_'... No. No, that can't be. No. No fucking way. No.' _

The shock and disbelief were etched into Seifer's angular features as he lowered his gaze to Squall once more. The brunette seemed emotionless, caught up in his battle against the hurt, but there was a certain apathy to his eyes that Seifer did not like. Still, he let out a violent hiss of air and spat out at Ultimecia.

"Fuck you, you're lying!"

She breathed another demented laugh, but apparently she was growing tired of talking to the blonde.

"Fool. You know that it's true as well as I do. Just look at him, watch how he's fading. His death is no longer a question of 'if', merely a question of 'when'."

_'No.'_

"That SeeD runt is dying like a sapling in the chill of winter. Sown, but never reaped, he will soon become one with the shadows that he feared so terribly."

In any other situation, Seifer might have laughed coldly at such an absurd statement, or maybe he would have cried desperately had he allowed himself to, but not this time and not in this life. Instead, his soul was aflame with anger and hate at the display of such cankered bliss over the tragic fate of a guy that would have brought any gentle heart to weep.

And as all said gentleness left his face and his mind, his will was dominated by the urge to brandish his sword into that wickedly satisfied smile and eradicate it from the sorceress' countenance with all the scorching violence he'd ever be able to gather into one single blow.

Oh yes.

He was berserk with fury.

"Your precious love is dying, and there is not a thing that you could do about it, Seifer Alexander Almasy."

Words - throbbing with satisfaction, aimed to frighten and to pain, and they did not fail their purpose.

Seifer was angry, and he was scared.

Scared for the guy that he loved.

The guy that Ultimecia had hurt.

"Fuck you!"

Anger, hate, despair, fear, love – it didn't matter. At length, the reasons for his decision were trivial.

She _was_ going to _pay_ for what she had done.

As long as there was still a spark of life in him, he would make sure that Ultimecia would not harm Squall _ever_ again.

Not in this lifetime, and not in any that were to follow.

He practically catapulted himself from his perching position into a full stance, immediately flipping up his deadly blade and leveling it beside his body in the perfect extension of his sword arm. He never stopped in his movement; hot-headedly, he was charging for Ultimecia's distant figure like a man that had nothing to lose and everything to gain. He paid not the glimpse of a heed to the soft snarl that passed across the witch's features, much less to the dastard glint that came alight in her amber oculates.

More importantly though, he never heard Squall's voice, floating barely above the level of a tantalized wail, as it was strandedly calling his name.

Seifer wanted to see nothing, and he wanted to hear nothing, and though perfectly noble the intents of such ignorance might have been, they caused him to sprint open-eyed into the face of an enemy that was far beyond his skill to slay.

Squall knew that.

Ultimecia knew that, too.

Seifer didn't care.

Perhaps, had he hesitated just for a while and taken the time to funnel his keen energies to produce one of his resoundingly powerful limit breaks, yes, perhaps he would have even inflicted a significant amount of damage upon his target. Rage and passion, however, had absorbed all of his reason and his senses, and thus laid the soil for events to unfurl that had become inevitable the moment that Seifer had risen his sword to strike.

At the other end of the spur, a trembling brunette was rendered powerless and broken, but he was also far from giving in. Even though every nerve in his body was lashing out at him in protest, he pushed himself onto his left elbow and rolled onto his side, drawing arduous breaths through ground teeth as he flicked his gaze past askew strands of chocolate brown hair to the charging figure of his friend.

"Seif… Seifer, don't…"

He found himself wishing for the ability to scream, to shout, to cry, but it would not come to him. Instead, his voice was weak and tarnished, trickling from his chest in a wet bubble that would have caused any physician to yelp in a frenzy of concern. He knew all too well that he was hurt, severely if not fatally, but his own fate mattered little to him at that point.

His gaze was locked onto Seifer.

The blonde was sprinting for the throne of the sorceress, and the simple fact alone that Ultimecia hadn't even bothered to arise from her seat was troubling enough. She was awaiting the angry knight, calmly so, not even batting as much as a lash or a feather at his rapid approach.

"Stop… _stop_…"

Clenching his hands to fists so hard that his knuckles turned white, Squall fought like a lion to interrupt Seifer's sprint. He dug into his own mind, trying to grasp some sort of spell that would aid him, but it was all too clear that there was simply no way in Hyne's Heaven or Devil's Hell that Squall Leonhart would be casting _any_ magic whatsoever in his present condition.

He'd have to watch, and watch was all that he could.

The realization brought tears to well up in his eyes, and he struggled to keep his vision from blurring.

"Stop… Please…"

_ "He cannot hear you." _

Squall's head stunned back at the sound of a voice that he had never heard before. It had spoken very softly somehow, even if it hadn't exactly been oozing with kindness, either. It was strangely familiar, though Squall was almost positively sure that he had never once heard it in his life. Before he was able to contemplate the origin of said voice any further, though, his attention was yet again diverted by something that was of far greater importance to him at that point.

Seifer had reached the sorceress.

Hyperion was lifted to the ebony sky like the fated sickle of an angel of death, ready to claim the life of a warlock that had threatened the world and its people just one too many times. There was no mercy in that gesture, no forgiveness, just the devotion of a man that was willing to defend the one that he loved at the cost of his own life and the purity of his soul.

He was willing to enter any pact that he must, and with the devil himself if need be, if only he would be able to put an end to the sorceress' foul existence.

And thus, Seifer brought his gunblade down upon the witch with the force of a guillotine behind his blow, funneling all his resentment and his faith into the one strike that was supposed to rid the world, and Squall above all people, from the evil that was Ultimecia.

His intent had been a noble one indeed, but his faith did still forsake him.

The moment that Hyperion came down upon the sorceress like an avalanche of silver, Seifer finally came to realize that he had made a terrible mistake. At length, he saw the woman's eyes, saw the triumphant glint searing in those amber depths as he stood right in front of her, but it had become too late for him to react or change his course.

Hence, he was met with the effect of a spell that he should have expected a long time ago and that held enough infliction to cause death in the matter of an instant. He didn't know what it was and when the witch had cast it upon herself, but it was stronger than anything he had ever seen and, most of all, stronger than anything that he had ever _felt_.

His body seemed to be exploding from the inside as he drove Hyperion square onto the perfect sphere shape of a mighty protection spell. There was light, lots of it, just as there was a detonation of sounds deep within his ears..

.. paired with the caustic noise of shattering metal.

From afar, Squall was forced to watch the scene and remain frozen to the only posture that his wounded body would permit. He couldn't even shout when he saw how Hyperion was dashed to pieces at the contact with Ultimecia's unbelievable barrier; a barrier that appeared to expand, to grow in its spherical form and produce an aftershock wave that sent Seifer himself several feet through the air until he collapsed somewhere between the motionless figures of Ultimecia and Squall.

After the clattering sound of metal on stone had eventually subsided, long minutes passed in a void of silence.

Then there was… something.

Seifer was lying on his back, he managed to pin down at least that much about his situation. Above him, the sky was black and distanceless. Or maybe his eyes were still closed? He could be blind, perhaps. It was strangely difficult to tell.

Gingerly, the blonde rolled his head to the side after he had, according to his own clouded judgement, opened his eyes at least a slit afar. His neck ached at the movement. His head did, too. As a matter of fact, his entire body hurt, or at least it was too straining for him to locate the exact fountains of said pain.

There was, however, one good thing. He could see something fuzzy that looked like his arm, and after he had blinked combatively against the bleariness in his vision, he could confirm his first impression with a sigh.

His throat hurt doing that, too.

He forgot all about the pain, though, when he saw a black and whitish dot in the distance beyond the outline of his arm. That spectrum of colors had always been associated with one single person in his mind.

Forever and always and probably beyond that, too, black and white was..

_ 'Squall… Squall…? Squall!' _

"Sq…q…"

His first attempt at speaking was hopeless though and, for that matter, almost non-existent. His mouth was dry and sticky, sort of as if he had devoured a box of chalks in a mad onset of animalistic hunger. It was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, really.

His sights were clearing though, even if he didn't particularly approve of what he saw; the black and white speck did indeed turn out to be Squall, which could have been a relief in itself, hadn't it been for the fact that the disobedient brunette was apparently working on crossing the steps between himself and Seifer on his damned hands and knees.

Groaning, Seifer flipped onto his side as nimbly as he could, forming his lips to mumble words that became less jumbled by the second.

"Squ… stop! S…Squall… don't!"

He had no idea how similar his pleas were to the ones that had been uttered from Squall's mouth just minutes before, but they were equally effectless in their outcome. Squall's once ethereal face was ghastly pale and wryly contorted as he was pressing his arm upon his stomach, but he seemed as unyielding in his efforts of reaching Seifer as anyone could possibly be.

The blonde frowned.

"Stay… you… you're poisoned. Don't… I'm coming…"

Of course, that was much easier stammered than done. His body hurt, he had no idea what he was doing and how on Hyne's earth he was going to be able to stand upon his feet. He felt as if a chocobo stampede had trampled him into the ground, and that was not a nice feeling by any means.

.. Whatever, no time for wimpishness.

He was astounded to find himself able to roll onto his stomach and, after sucking in some earnest, deep breaths, push himself up onto his hands and knees. The pain was ever present, of course, but it was fairly blunt and had begun to wade in bearable levels.

Clumsily, he lowered himself backwards to rest upon his shins and cast another look at Squall.

The brunette had halted in his struggles, if only to stare at Seifer with incredulous eyes. Judging by his expression, he probably hadn't expected his friend to be quite this mobile after the retaliated attack.

The attack.

_ 'Damn.' _

Frowning, Seifer gazed aimlessly around his position, and he finally discovered Ultimecia still sitting in her designated throne. She was sporting her usual amused and complacent sneer, and Seifer could feel himself trembling anew in anger, particularly when his eyes fell upon shards of silver that looked painfully like scraps of Hyperion's blade.

_ 'Glorious.' _

The sorceress seemed unwilling to attack them for the time being, or maybe she was simply not interested just yet, but even if Seifer's impression of the witch's mindset would prove to be incorrect, there was little that he'd be able to do to prevent an assault on either him or Squall.

Squall.

Immediately, his jade green stare whipped around again to the place that it had last spotted Squall. The brunette was still cowering in the same position, sitting very tensely with his legs entangled beneath his body and his free arm placed on the ground for support. His eyes were wide and his lips crushed to a narrow line, and he sat so still that it started to seriously worry Seifer.

"Stay," he ordered more firmly now, "I'm coming… stay."

He thought that he had heard a faint giggle in the background, but he paid no greater attention to it. Seifer didn't care much about being subject to the witch's amusement anymore; in their current situation, he was gladly willing to accept any aspect that didn't involve poisonous onyx or explosive barriers.

Fortunately, Squall was obeying the blonde's command more readily now, if only because he was unable to drag his broken body any further. Gritting his teeth and fighting for balance, Seifer managed to unfold his legs and flail his arms in search for support that, really, wasn't existent. He did well though, much better than he had expected, and he blamed it on the simple fact that Squall was watching his every movement very closely. By all means, Seifer definitely did not want to take the risk of falling and giving his brunette junior another excuse to aggravate his condition any further.

Walking, however, was still rather troublesome. The rock beneath him was chopped and uneven, and his head was spinning like an out-of-control carrousel, but for fucking Hyne's sake, he _was_ going to reach Squall even if the witch would decide to nail him to the floor.

And so he did.

With a long suppressed and weary moan, he once again collapsed onto his shins before the brunette.

"Squall."

The eighteen year old was staring at him as if he was a headless wonder, but there was sadness in his eyes that erased all humor from that expression. Squall saw well the many wounds that had been inflicted upon his friend's frame by the contact of unrelenting rock with sensitive flesh, and they concerned him deeply, even if none of those lesions would have meant any serious trouble in an ordinary situation.

Everything was different now, though.

As he saw the grave frown dragging across Squall's ethereal features, Seifer felt the desperate urge to place his fingers upon the brunette's snow pale skin, to stroke his cheek and tell him that everything would be alright somehow… but that belief had left him a long time ago. Squall was poisoned, wounded beyond any condition that would have allowed him to perform even the simplest of spells, and both of them were without a decent weapon. Of course, he could try to draw magic from the brunette, but he expected the pain for Squall to be much greater than the actual benefit for either of them. Hurt had a nasty habit of erecting mental barriers that were hard to penetrate.

Hence, Seifer could do nothing but smile sadly and lean into Squall's touch as the brunette gingerly placed his hand on Seifer's chest. The magic that echoed between them so powerfully at a contact of such simplicity should have been granted the power to drive out all evil, but unfortunately reality did not bargain that way.

Their love held no infliction over sorcery.

"Seifer," Squall finally whispered with a crack to his voice, "You're hurt…"

"I'm fine," Seifer replied with a forced smirk. "Don't worry about me, Squall."

"But he has all reason to worry."

The succeeding grunt that left Seifer's throat was a guttural blend of exasperation and torment, and he was almost reluctant to face once more the bearer of that nasty comment. Of course, it was Ultimecia, and she was studying them with nonchalant boredom.

As Seifer pivoted slowly on the spot, still upon the low of his legs, he ensured to hide Squall from the witch's view as best as he could. If she meant to harm the brunette again, and there was no doubt in Seifer's mind that she did, she'd have to do it past the cold of his corpse.

"Aww. How touching," the sorceress mocked. "Our two lovers are united at the threshold of their discreation. At last, your silly struggles have proved to be worthless. You should have listened to me from the beginning, you would have been spared a painful end."

"As if," Seifer snorted coldly.

The woman was watching him very quietly. Her hand played around the purse of her lips, and her golden glazed oculates were fixed upon the bent figures of her toys with sudden newly aroused interest.

And toys they were, indeed.

"Maybe there is still one thing that you can do."

Blinking, Seifer had to run that odd statement past his bleary attention once more.

_ ''Maybe there is still one thing that you can do?' The fuck?' _

What dirty plans was she working on this time?

Glowering at her darkly, he waited for her to continue.

"If you kill the SeeD, I will spare your life."

For a second there, Seifer thought that his clash with the sorceress' magic had rendered him hearing impaired. Did she really just say that? Was she _honestly_ thinking that he was going to hold any sort of infliction upon Squall's life to save his own?

"Drop dead."

She chuckled in amusement at his reply, but apparently she wasn't quite finished with him just yet.

"Think about it… he is dying one way or another, it's only a matter of time. Why sacrifice yourself over the man that has ignored you for years on end? He doesn't love you, anyway. What's the point? Kill him, and you have my word that you will survive."

"As if you'd ever hold to any word that left that foul mouth of your's anyway, bitch!"

Still, she was smiling, and her voice was a sickening blend of mock sweetness and unconcealed persuasion.

"You are of no danger to me, Seifer Almasy. Whether you die or live means little in my equation of the plans that I hold for this planet. Your SeeD, however, _will_ die, whether you will perform the task or not. His time has come, as has the time of all others that stand in his rows of sorceress slayers. Choose wisely who you sacrifice yourself for, boy."

Just as Seifer was about to spew out and thrust his concentrated outrage over Ultimecia's ridiculous offer into the darkness of their progressing nightmare, something behind him stirred and raised his voice to a soft whisper.

"Do it."

The order had been little louder than the wail of a wind's current rustling in a tree, but it slowed Seifer's heartbeat to a leaden crawl all the same. Whirling around with a gasp, he stared at Squall in honest and scandalized disbelief, and he was even more shocked to find sapphire eyes shining with determination and stern calm.

"What?" he snapped in hysteria.

"She's right," Squall observed quietly. "I'm going to die, no matter what you do… and it's okay… really. I knew this day would come as soon as I joined with SeeD… but… I still want you to live, even so… So do it."

"Are you kidding me?" Seifer hissed. "Tell me you're joking!"

But there was no humor in Squall's eyes. His face was a mask, alive as much as it was dead. The only thing about him that still truly shone was his will to save Seifer's life even if it meant his own demise. He was willing to surrender his future for just the slightest chance of his love's survival.

"No. I'm not joking."

"Squall-"

"I want you to do it."

Far from them, the witch was smiling. Of course she hadn't seriously expected for Seifer to careen yet again, particularly not after she had tried and failed to dig into his mind once more. She had however assumed that Squall in all his remote purity and nobleness and love, and all those other annoying things, would order Seifer to do exactly what he had:

To kill him.

"Fuck, no!"

Apparently, his companion was unwilling to comply, though.

"I'm serious, Seifer," the brunette urged, while the frown on his face intensified. "Do it! Please, I don't…"

He paused, his lips trembling ever so slightly as tears came to his eyes and spangled against the ocean blue surface.

"I don't want you to die."

There was a heartfelt plea to his croaky voice, and it radiated from every line of his countenance as he dug his eyes into Seifer's.

"Please."

"I can't believe it… You're really serious…" Seifer breathed quietly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. There is nothing you can do for me, Seifer, except save yourself and maybe find a way to warn the others… That's all I want. And I'd rather you kill me than her."

The blonde in front of him could hardly suppress the wetness that threatened to spill down his cheeks as his heart was torn into shreds. This wasn't right, and he was _not_ going to do it! Why would Squall ask this of him? Why? The mere thought was killing him.

Squall, however, was burning from within, his gaze aflame with the urge of changing Seifer's mind. He didn't want any of this, but his words had nevertheless been sincere.

If he was to die at the hands of anyone, he wanted that anyone to be Seifer.

And, above all things, he wanted the blonde to live.

Seifer had already saved him, there was nothing else for him to do. He had showed Squall love, the one thing that the brunette had never understood no matter how hard he had tried. He had taught his heart to leap and his soul to soar; he had taught him what it was like to be alive. It was all that he had needed to do to save Squall even beyond death, because love was, after all, eternal.

It was alright.

Really.

"But-"

"Don't think. Don't think, just fulfill my wish, please. I don't mind dying, as long as it's your doing."

"Squall…"

"It's okay," the brunette whispered. "It's honestly okay…"

But Seifer shook his head in fiercest reluctance.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Take LionHeart, it'll be quick. I don't want to be killed by her or by this damned poison. If you kill me, maybe you will somehow be able to live… and maybe… you can stop her, somehow. You're the last hope for this planet. There is no one else."

"No, there are others, and I'm _not_ fucking letting you die, you better forget about that right fucking now!"

"Seifer," Squall chided him sadly, "There is _nothing_ you can do anymore. You've done enough already. The past weeks were all the life that I needed. I… I was never happier."

"Squall, I-"

"I don't care if I die, as long as I know that you live on. That's all I want."

"But I don't want-"

With a sharp flick of his hand, the brunette cut him off.

"No. Do it."

As battered as Squall was, he had never been any more determined in his resolve. His stern order was almost bare of tremors, and his mind seemed set into stone.

Whether or not Ultimecia's offer could be be taken as genuine, and it most likely couldn't, didn't even matter to him all that much. He was desperate alright, and he wasn't even trying to deny it.

"Well?"

The witch's impatient inquiry was of little disturbance to them. Seifer simply could not bring his gaze to leave Squall's face, and he was bursting with raw emotions at the love and gentleness he read in those filigree lines beneath all the hastily slammed up severity and chill.

Squall was not the same anymore. He could no longer conjure up death glares and scowls at will, especially when Seifer was to be at the receiving end. His heart had been changed and warmed at last.

Maybe his words had been true after all.

Who was Seifer to deny those azure blue eyes any wish?

"Do it, please… I'm begging you."

And indeed, according to Squall's standards, he _was_ begging. Begging for Seifer to end his life in the sorceress' stead and for the man that he loved to survive.

And he was scarily irresistible.

"Give me your answer."

Squall was barely moving his head, but it was all too obvious that he was nodding as his chin was gently tilting up and down. The urge in his eyes was almost bodily perceivable, and Seifer had difficulties to finally remove his gaze to turn around and grant his attention to the sorceress.

"Well?" she repeated. "Have you decided? Your friend seems to be strong in his resolve. This is what he wants. Be a good boy and comply with his wish. Take his life, and I will spare your's."

In mute indication, the woman's amber eyes shifted to the form of LionHeart that was suddenly resting strangely nigh. In fact, Seifer could have sworn that they had left it further behind, but he blamed it on the witch's spell work with ease. After all, he was neither blind nor stupid.

Still… Squall's words had made him think, and they had caused him to waver.

Had he been in Squall's position, he would have asked the exact same things from the brunette. Why? Because Squall Leonhart was the only person in the world at whose hands he would gladly perish, and he was the only one that he would surrender his life for in the matter of a heartbeat.

_ ..: "Do it." :.. _

"Don't worry. It's alright. I'll… I'll always be in your heart."

Seifer's face contorted in agony at that softly whispered statement that was of a sweetness that had hardly ever laced the brunette's voice before. Indeed, Squall would always be living within him, and as long as Seifer lived on, so would Squall. He would be remembered, always. There would never be an end.

"Do it… for me…"

He swallowed, trying to gulp down the lump in his throat and the tears in his eyes. He didn't even want to turn around to look at Squall, because he knew that he would not be able to stand it. Squall's face held everything that he loved and that he held dear, everything that he wanted to preserve and to protect.

Everything.

Casting down his vision, he stared upon his hands. Countless men had died at the judgement of his blade, but none of them had ever affected Hyperion's bearer. None of them had ever made him shiver deep within, ever made him turn all of his strength inward to keep himself from breaking down as a crying wreck.

Yet, there he was, kneeling on the ground like a fallen angel, ready to weep over a wish he did not want to fulfill and over the blood of a hero that he did not want to spill.

He wanted none of this.

But, no matter how vigorously he tried to push the thought away, there was something that he had come to understand..

.. Even heroes had a right to bleed.

Slowly, he cocked his head into his neck and turned his vision heavenwards, finding himself gazing into the blackness of a sky that had never seen a single star. Closing his eyes, he let his arms go slack at his sides, his fingers loose and soft against his thighs as he tried to unclench from within.

_ ..: "Do it." :.. _

He stayed that way for a while, breathing deeply and thinking of nothing at all, when he finally listened to the one only thing that had anything of importance to say..

.. His heart.

And as he slowly uncraned his neck and let his eyelids snap open over a perfect surface of viridian green, he raised upon one foot and one knee - the one unmistakable position of a knight that he had only ever assumed once before. And while his face drew into a defiant snarl, he levitated his arms into the air, pulling them up and back only so far as to make perfectly clear what this sudden shielding gesture was implying, and what his final answer had turned out to be.

"No."

Behind Seifer, the person that the blonde had been sheltering with wide-stretched arms and a guardian pose was lowering his face into his hands, sighing mournfully like a wounded animal in both relief and defeat.

He should have known all along.

"I don't care what you do to me," his blonde knight stated simply, "Or how painful my death might be. I will never in my _life_ lay hand on him. Kill me, torture me, do whatever you please. It doesn't matter to me. But, rest assured, that no matter what you promise me or what he says, I will _never_ harm him."

Squall was shaking his head in despair, wrenching his fingers into his hair as if that was going to change his friend's decision. He knew what it entailed, he knew what was going to happen and what Ultimecia would force him to see.

She was going to make Seifer pay dearly for this insolence.

His inapt valour would be his downfall.

"Why," he groaned in disbelief, "Why…?"

Before him, Seifer slowly turned around. Strands of golden hair fell smoothly into his face that was glowing with love, gentleness, and the knowledge of having made the right decision the moment that his peridot eyes were set upon Squall's trembling frame.

_ 'Because I cannot hurt you, not ever.' _

_ 'Because you are that single star in those dark and endless skies.' _

_ 'Because even if you lived on inside my heart, I would never be happy again.' _

_ 'Because I'd rather spend one minute with you than face the rest of my life without you.' _

_ 'Because you're all I can think of, even when I don't think of anything at all.' _

_ 'Because everything beautiful and good is just an effigy of you.' _

_ 'Because I don't want to lose you.' _

_ 'Because…' _

"Because…"

"I love you."

Sometimes, the best kind of answer is the simplest of them all.

Squall had heard those words before, countless times in countless years, but not once in his life had they filled his heart with so much surprise, joy and simple bliss, and never before had they streaked his cheeks with two silent trails of tears that glistened like stars reflected on a moonlit lake.

After all those years, he finally understood.

His childish fears, his steaning rigidness, his array of emotionless facades; he had been such a fool. This was love, in all its simple glory, and it was like nothing that had ever crossed his life before.

He was being loved, and that knowledge alone made him feel like the luckiest person alive.

And he wanted for nothing more than to return the gift that he had been given.

When the emotions that Squall had buried inside his soul mirrored on his face for anyone to see, Seifer's lips curved into the archtype of all smiles. At last, he had been able to give word to the feelings that had acted through his body for a long time already, and it was… good, somehow. Squall's reaction was beyond anything that he had ever fathomed to receive, and with gentle fingers, he wiped away the pearls of tears from skin of finest ivory.

"Don't cry," he cooed. "It's alright now."

And he closed the space between them, encircling Squall into an embrace that was so very much like the love that they shared – pure, simple, and true.

Together at last.

They were aching to stay in each other's arms forever, never wanting to let go.

"Is this your final answer?"

At Seifer's back, Squall's hands clenched, and he buried his head into his lover's shoulder. The trembling words that escaped his lips were stifled by the cotton of Seifer's shirt, and his fingers held the indigo blue fabric in a tightly wrenched grip.

"It's okay," Seifer breathed into his ear. "This is what I wanted."

Gently, the blonde pried loose the arms that had held him in a desperate embrace. This was the decision that he had made, and he would live and die by it if his time had indeed come. Of course, Squall was trying to hold on, trying to forbid any further separation even at the mercy of their enemy, but Seifer was unwilling to give up on hope just yet. He wouldn't be able to protect Squall simply by holding him close, as much as he wished for that to be possible. Instead, he would have to face their nemesis, and now that he could rest assured that Squall knew exactly how he felt, there was nothing that he would regret.

Neither his life, nor his decision.

The brunette before him had his eyes zeroed unto his own, fear and love etched deeply into the sapphire swirls of those enigmatic oculates. His body was shivering ever so slightly, and even though Seifer was already breaking within, he smiled with as much sincerity and reassurance that anyone could possibly muster. His hand smoothed away some stray wisps of chocolate hair that danced into Squall's pretty face, and he lowered his lips to the brunette's in the tentative, feathery touch of a kiss.

_ ..: "This is what I wanted." :.. _

When they eventually edged apart just slightly, tears had signed the lion's face anew.

Seifer never grew tired of washing them away with the gentlest of caresses.

"I will always love you, Squall," he whispered calmly, and his face lit up with the honesty of those words, "Come what may."

Then, he withdrew.

He stood effortlessly, adrenaline fueling his muscles with the last residual powers that were bound inside of him. His body turned to oppose and confront the source of all evil, and yet again it assumed a stance that was infinitely protective over the wounded SeeD mercenary at its feet.

All his life, Seifer had wanted to be knight to the cold-hearted ice prince named Squall Leonhart. Ever since their childhood, there hadn't been a single day that had passed without said wish stirring in his heart, no matter how hard he had tried to ignore it. He had always acted so tough, so unbothered, when really, he had worried about Squall every second of their long, sad past.

He remembered only too well his primal fear when, one year ago, he had been told that the brunette and his SeeD friends had been sent on a mission that would undoubtedly have claimed their lives. Ultimately, that mission had probably triggered everything that had provided for Seifer's fate as the sorceress' slave, because he had rushed to Squall's aid without even thinking.

Yes, the visions of a knight indeed.

Finally, after all that had come to pass, his wish had been granted to him. It was all that he needed to be strong and to never succumb ever again. Some day, a long time ago, Ultimecia had broken the boy in him, but she was not going to break the man. If he was to die, then so be it, but not once again would he lose himself, nor would he lose again the one that he loved.

"Yes," he proclaimed undauntedly. "This is my final answer."

The sorceress, without a question, was far from pleased. Her face had paled distinctly, and her eyes had obfuscated with intricate loathing. Her hands, once more, were moving restlessly on the sides of her throne, until she flicked one of them into the air, a merciless glint alight in amber oculates that were cold as death itself.

"Then you chose death for both of you."

Her head inclined, but her gaze never left Seifer's face as she hissed a command that a groaning Squall was already all too familiar with.

"Griever. Make them bleed."

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** To be continued!

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Edit: Thanks to Spawn of Hell for giving me the pointers to "hand" and "curaga"... I have such a bad habit for forgetting words. I always think that they are there, but they are really not x.X Bad brain, bad! Anyway, thank you! Oh, concering curaga vs. curega... I should have checked with my US final fantasy source like I usually do, but I could have sworn I had seen a "curega" spell before, somewhere, in some FF game... oh well 

Oookay, the length of this chapter scares me... a little. Almost 12000 words! I was tempted to split it up somewhere along the middle, but that would have broken the entire "For You" theme I wanted to create, so I decided against it. I've been dying to add this song to my story as it's probably my favorite of all times, and it happens to work brilliantly with this story and this chapter, so I thought I'd share it. I hope you like it, too.

Anyway. The mush, the drama! Maybe I went a little overboard, but I had 46 others chapters in which I mostly had to retain the drama queen in me - Well, I hope you like it nonetheless, I worked hard on this one. Oh, and before I forget... I "hid" two lines from songs that I adore very much inside this chapter, maybe you'll find them :) You'll get a Squall-humping Seifer cookie if you do!

I was lucky enough to get my hands on a transcript of the conversation between the SeeDs and Ultimecia at the end of the game, so I decided to implement her particular Griever order into this chapter as well. It makes me chuckle, because my search also produced a certain site that was providing an image of a Griever - hold your breath - BUTTPLUG! Yup, you read correctly. The authors of that site stated something along the following lines... "Yes, a Griever buttplug! That gives the entire aspect of 'Griever, make them bleed!' a whole new meaning."

Hope I didn't ruin it all for you, but this was just too priceless not to bring up n.n


	48. Liberi Fatali

**Let Me Make It Alright **

Chapter 48: Liberi Fatali

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Ever since the carefree laughter of their childhood days at the orphanage had faded, there were many things that Squall Leonhart had come to understand. Unlike the little boy that he had once been, he knew well that life was fickle and death often only a spell or a sword strike away. Maybe he had never taken either very seriously - neither life nor death - but somehow he had always expected to find a bloody end on the battlefield, alone and abandoned by everybody else. 

Anything else would have simply felt unnatural to the untouchable "ice princess".

Hence, something about this current picture was very strange and very surreal, because Squall no longer stood alone. Instead, he found himself embraced and protected by the same blonde gunblader that had worked at wounding him on countless occasions, and that had never expressed even a glimpse of concern over his fate.

Perhaps Squall had been blind all this time. Perhaps he had never understood.

There were certain truths that one could only find within oneself; truths that would stay hidden forever if one looked away just long enough, and Hyne only knew that Squall had looked away as hard as he had been able to. Laying there that very moment, cradled in the crook of Seifer's arms, he realized that he had indeed never understood what truly mattered in life. After everything that had happened, he should have been thankful that he had finally learned to love and to accept love in return, and deep down he was indeed bursting with gratitude, but there was also a bitterness inside his heart that couldn't easily be effaced.

Was it better to have loved and lost, or was it better not to have ever loved at all? For a long time, Squall had possessed nothing that had been of true meaning to him, and he could have cared less about the possible answers to that ancient question, but things were no longer so.

Suddenly, some things had become scarily meaningful.

One needn't be a pessimist to recognize that Squall and Seifer were doomed at length, and that they were probably already as much dead as they were alive. The prospect of his own demise didn't stir too much fright in the brunette SeeD's soul, for his words to Seifer had been true - Squall was not afraid of dying. Yet, he did fear for Seifer's life, for the budding love between them and for the future that perhaps they could have shared, had they just been granted enough time.

In almost nineteen years, his heart had never hurt so very much.

Now, he rested quietly in the arms of the man that had crouched down next to him as soon as Ultimecia had ordered her minion to their obliteration, but while his body was already defeated by the poison, his soul was still unwilling to give in.

His emotional resistance, however, didn't help much. His mind was covered by a thick, impenetrable mesh of pain and numbness, and he found himself unable of spiriting it away. He couldn't even cast the simplest of spells; they would slip through his fingers like the sand of an hourglass, melting away without even giving him the hint of a chance.

It was so pointless.

"So, this is it, huh," a bitter baritone voice then snarled closely to his ear. "Never thought we'd end this way."

Seifer was still positioned between him and the approaching shadow of the Guardian Griever, and Squall had trouble forcing his sight past his friend's grave expression to keep their enemy in sight. He really wanted to just forget all about the sorceress and her slave, and instead only focus on Seifer's gorgeous face, but the warrior in him forbid it. He'd keep drifting from apathy to revolt, fighting a battle with himself rather than their true enemies.

Just what should he do now, at the end of all time? Surrender, or defy?

Somehow, neither option seemed appropriate, or very promising at that.

Meanwhile, Griever's form had come much closer. The spirit force was walking firmly on its hind legs, its ebony-furred chest swollen and its silver wings swaying softly with each step; a carnal angel of death, sent from the very caverns of hell to kill them without mercy. It wouldn't even take much to finish the job either, for it seemed as if their tombs had already been shovelled.

Their blood would kindle with the obsidian rock to their feet before long - Squall had definitely understood that much.

Inwardly, he shivered at that perception, and he could feel once more how the liquid venom that the onyx inside his body had become was surging through his veins, desecrating him from within. He was starting to feel very dizzy, and locking his focus upon the approaching enemy was straining his last bits of energy.

Really, the only comfort that he could find in the progressing darkness of this nightmare was the man at his side, the same one that had his left arm wrapped about his figure in the fragile impression of protection. Seifer really was a good-hearted guy... he always had been, despite his cocky behavior. Squall almost managed to smile at that thought, but even the smallest of movements hurt horribly, so he quickly let his features snap back into a lifeless frown.

_ 'Yeah… this is it.' _

_"Are you that sure?" _

He blinked.

That voice…

_ "Did you forget already?" _

Hesitantly, Squall narrowed his eyes and tried to turn his focus inward.

_ 'Am I starting to hear things…?' _

_ "That's not quite the correct way of putting it, though it isn't essentially wrong, either." _

He knew that unimpressed, even voice. Although, he had almost forgotten all about the first time that he had heard it - the moment in which he had screamed out to Seifer during the blonde's attempt of killing sorceress. Squall couldn't actually recall the words, but the guttural, low tone to that voice was easy to recognize.

_ 'Who are you?'_ he asked carefully in his mind.

_ "You know who I am. The real question is, who are you?" _

Suddenly, Squall felt something around his finger go very hot, and he almost flinched at the painful impression. Dropping his gaze, he saw that the silver ring he wore on his right hand had come alight in an iridescent blaze of crimson, ebony and amber. Those colors were glimmering off sleek metal that should have shone in purest silver, and yet was not.

And then it dawned him.

His slate blue eyes widening in disbelief, he looked up and past Seifer's head at the approaching Guardian. Griever had stopped in his path, still a few feet afar from them, and he was gazing back at Squall with the patience and wisdom of a spirit that had seen ages, worlds and dimensions fly by as only a small shard of its lifeline.

Waiting - for something, for some sort of response.

_ 'You…?' _

_"Yes." _

_'Why are you talking to me?' _

_"Because you are the Child of the Lion and the Bearer of the Seals." _

_'What? Child of… what?' _

_"Watch." _

Confused to his very core, Squall followed an instinctive notion and glanced at the necklace around his neck, which had ignited in the same twist of colors as his ring.

_ 'What is this?'_ he winced, almost stumbling over the words in his head.

_"The seals that reveal you as the true heir." _

_'The heir? The heir to what? I… I don't understand.' _

_"You are Squall Leonhart. We have met before. Once when you were just an infant, and once merely a year ago. And now, we meet again, and this time you are both of age and in the possession of the Seals." _

_'What… are you?' _

_"I'm a Guardian Force, though slightly different from most that you know." _

_'Why do you say that you've met me as an infant? I don't remember.' _

_"Of course you don't, you were quite little. Don't be concerned. Your parent sought to protect you, for she knew of the strength in your blood and the difficulties that you would have to face in due time. Hence, she appointed me your Guardian." _

Shock and confusion crept into Squall's features and his eyes, and he twisted slightly in Seifer's embrace. For some strange reason, though, the blonde did not react to his struggles. More precisely, he wasn't moving at all, and his limbs were oddly stiff.

_ 'What's going on here? Why is he so still?' _

_"I stopped time." _

_'What? How could you?' _

_"It is a capability I rarely put to use, but I do on certain… occasions." _

_'Guardian Forces can't just stop time! Nobody can play with time like that, only…' _

_"Ellone." _

Again, the brunette attempted to lift himself from his friend's arms, but he fell slack against the petrified muscles. Groaning, he raised his face to meet Griever's, and a dangerous glint came alight in the corner of his eyes.

_ 'How do you know her? What did you do to-' _

Griever's seraphic wings were whirring very softly, as if stirred by a wind that was non-existent in this dark nightmare, and he replied calmly to Squall's suggestive question.

_"She was my bonded, at least for a little while. I can adopt certain skills from my bonded, as long as they are receptive to my efforts. Ellone was quite so. She was willing to do anything to keep you safe." _

_'... What?' _

_"Before her death, your mother Raine gave me into Ellone's keeping. I was to stay with her until you would be old enough to bear the burden. However, Raine did not know that the orphanage you two would reside in was frequently haunted by witches. I would blame this on the fact that your matron, Edea, was a sorceress herself, but even I cannot tell you for sure." _

_'My… mother… you…' _

Even in his mind, Squall had become unable to speak. Hearing of the mother that he had never known tore deep wounds into his now so vulnerable heart, and though he did not understand what the Guardian Force was telling him, he was suddenly eager to hear more.

_"Yes, I knew your mother. She was a Leonhart as well, one in a long line of brave hearts. I have been the Guardian of your family for a very long time now, but after your mother faded, your line has become very thin. You are the last." _

The brunette swallowed dryly, and anger begun to kindle with his childish confusion and the urge to hear all there was to tell about his mother.

_ 'If you're really our guardian, then why didn't you help me…? Why… why all this…' _

_"I only answer to my bonded, or the bearer of the seals of the Leonhart family. When I was violently drawn from Ellone by a sorceress named Kendrana, so was my loyalty, and it seceded even her to move and stay with Ultimecia until this very day. However, the Crests have always had more meaning than the mere concept of being junctioned." _

_'You… you're saying…' _

_"I obey you." _

The meaning of those words just wouldn't ease into Squall's tortured mind. Thoughts were whizzing through his head at dangerous speed, causing it to spin in endless pandemonium.

He wanted to scream.

_ 'You… you OBEY me? Fuck you! You did nothing to help us! Not this time, and not a year ago!' _

_"A year ago, you were in the possession of one Seal, but that is not enough, young Leonhart. Neither is owning both seals, if you do not show the independence and valor that is so common to those that carry your name. However, on this date of today, you have proved yourself worthy in every aspect imaginable." _

_'You're not making any sense, you just-' _

_"You are the Child of the Lion. Born under the sign of the Leo, you're like a predator - strong, valiant and always aloof. Your will to survive and live on should have been stronger than everything else, and even though it was almost broken once before by Ultimecia's hands, it never quite faded entirely. But today, you offered your life in return for that of the Child of the Hunter. That... was never meant to happen." _

_'What? Who… says that? I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't understand anything!' _

_"Every child that is born to this world has a certain path to take, a certain destination to reach. Sometimes, those paths cross, sometimes, those destinations clash. On your path, you lost your innate will to survive, but you also found something of much greater value. You found love. You found what neither you nor your archrival, the Hunter, was ever meant to find, and you found it inside each other." _

_'The… Hunter?' _

_"The one you call Seifer Almasy. His path was much different from your's, and still you managed to find a way to walk your roads together. That is very unusual. We know well of foreordination, and we were astonished to find the liberi fatali willing to sacrifice themselves for and to the hands of one another." _

_'"We"? What? Liberi fatali? What do you mean by-' _

Apparently, Griever did not feel inclined to answer every single of the brunette's questions, and Squall couldn't shake off the impression that the Guardian Force was keeping certain things secret.

_"Even though you did not act in conformation with your destiny, you still proved yourself worthy of your name and your servants, of which I am one. Today, you showed genuine courage, selflessness, honor and strength. You lived up to your heritage, Squall Leonhart, and you possess both of the Seals. I am at your command, whichever it might be." _

Again, the distinct urge to vomit over this sick charade tingled through Squall's body, and he begun to repulse that 'Guardian' with every fibre of his being. Why should he even consider trusting and listening to a spirit that had done nothing to help him thus far, and that could very well just be playing a trick on his mind?

_ 'I don't believe in destiny… and I don't believe you, either.'_ he snapped back rancorously.

_"You're stubborn, but even that is a trait of your bloodline. Your mother was a very headstrong and proud woman, and though she never used me in battle, she was no less of a warrior than you are… and no less intractable." _

_'Whatever…' _

_"Of course, it is not my duty to push my services onto you. If you wish to refuse, I will respect that wish." _

Even though he didn't like it very much, Squall was starting to waver, and yet again he became aware of Seifer's motionless arms around him and the frozen body of the sorceress in the distance.

Maybe there still was one simple reason to grasp even the smallest of straws.

Seifer.

_ 'What could you even do…?'_ he finally sighed._ 'You haven't done anything…' _

_"I cannot directly turn against my bonded, nor can I turn against my true bearer. I will not kill you, no matter what she commands, however I must eliminate your friend if the witch queen specifically orders me to do so." _

_'Then you're useless. Why are you even telling me all this? There's nothing you can do.' _

_"That is incorrect, young Leonhart. Though I cannot essentially turn against Ultimecia and attack her, I can still grant you my powers to use them against her. If I give up myself and my immortal life to be of your service, then you can use the strength I've been bestowed with at your free will." _

_'I… I see.' _

_"I also adopted one of Ultimecia's abilities during our residence within your sword, when her energy was vulnerable and she could not simply push me out. I can erect barriers the same way she can, and I can use them to protect you, the true bearer." _

_'True bearer…' _

Suddenly, Squall felt as if the air around him had quivered, rocking hard against his chest and robbing him of his breath. Gasping through his aching throat, he wrestled for composure, and he stared helplessly at the golden-eyed Guardian Force that appeared slightly concerned, though its features looked as arcane and careless as ever.

_ "Your powers are fading, Squall Leonhart, and so are mine. I cannot keep this void of time up any longer." _

_'Okay… okay, then let's do it,'_ the brunette hissed arduously inside his mind. _'Grant me your strength and I'll kill her…' _

_"If that is indeed your wish, then that is what I will do. However, there is still one thing that you must know, and though it may not change your mind, you have to be fully aware of it." _

_'Then tell me.' _

_"… As you wish."_

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** To be continued!

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**

Not much to say about this chapter. It's a little short, confusing and has an abrupt ending, I know, but you'll eventually understand why. I thought a lot on this plot and how I wanted everything to work out. I'm sure you'll still find some things that don't make sense, I'm afraid my logic is far from flawless. I guess we all have different understandings of FF8's storyline and Squall's past, anyway.

There are also further explanations up ahead concerning the Guardian Forces and the "Children of Fate/Fated Children" (Latin translation of "Liberi Fatali" - it's the title of the FF8 theme song if you didn't know), sooo I'm not quite done yet ;) That said, the last chapter of this story will be chapter number 50. Nice number, I'm surprised it worked out so well (I didn't plot that!).

Oh, about my little "quiz" from last chapter... one cookie goes to Spawn of Hell for finding the "Even Heroes Have a Right to Bleed" line. That's from Five for Fighting's "Superman". The other line was "Fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care" from Jewel's "Foolish Games" (beautiful song). I was so surprised to see you guys mention "Come what may"... I never even saw Moulin Rouge, lol, guess I should! So, no, that one came out of my brain... somewhere.


	49. Unwilling To Leave, Unable To Stay

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 49: "Unwilling To Leave, Unable To Stay"

_"Is that truly what you want?"_

_'… Yes.'_

_"Are you sure?"_

_'I want him to live.'_

_"Even though you know of the consequences?"_

_'Even so.'_

_"… Then so be it."_

When the flow of time rushed back into his body, Squall shuddered violently at the sensation. His lungs were wheezing under the strain as he sucked in a deep breath against the stiffness in his muscles, and he broke into a coughing fit.

Next to him, Seifer had been freed from Griever's temporary captivity, and the blonde startled as he felt Squall jerking in his arms.

"Squall?"

A subdued, flat hiss escaped the gunblader's throat when he found Squall's lips spangled with the dark fluids of Ultimecia's venom. He knew nothing of the time lapse that he had been caught in, but he did know that his friend's condition had become worse. Gently, he raked his fingers through the brunette's hair, pulling it of out his face. Squall's skin was scarily stark, his eyes black with pain. Clamping his teeth down upon his lips as not to cry out in despair, Seifer used his thumb to wipe away the poison.

"Don't move," he murmured. "It'll get worse."

To his surprise, he noted that a new sensation had crept into the plain darkness and defeat that had been signing Squall's every feature. The darkness had meshed with a sort of fatal determination, immediately striking the blonde's instincts to recognize that _something_ had changed without his awareness, and that, in any case, he needed to be alert.

"W-what's going on? Squall?"

Squall's eyes were mere slits of silverish blue, but he smiled grimly through the cage of his agony.

A Leonhart indeed.

He managed, with Seifer's very reluctant help, to lift himself into an upright seating position, but all the while he kept his gaze glued to his lover's worried reflection. For a moment, the blonde wondered whether Squall was trying to burn his image into his mind forever, his stare was that fierce. Something about it was very unsettling.

Had Seifer known how close his impression had come to the truth, Hyne only knew what he would have said, or what he would have done. Squall was indeed attempting to imprint his face into his memory – trying to keep at least an effigy of the person that he was so afraid to lose.

Merely looking at the blonde caused his heart to ache, though, and he also hadn't forgotten about the sorceress. Time was running out, as much as that perception pained him, and there was nothing that was left to do about it. Well, nothing except for going by the decision that he had made.

Thus, his gaze phased by Seifer's image at last, and he focused solely upon the ebony form of the lion spirit that stood motionless in the distance. Eyes of pure gold, bestowed with the wisdom of many ages, fixed him tacitly and questioningly. Squall's chest and his throat stung horribly at the sight, but as his twitching features went rigid, he forced himself to nod.

"The Child of the Lion has decided."

Seifer's head flung around at the sound of that voice, which had been chimed in a melody that was both ancient and newborn like history itself. He stared at its bearer, the Guardian Force Griever, in open bewilderment.

"… What? What do you mean?"

Seifer too was looked over by those serene amber eyes, but they offered him no answer to his question. Uneasy, Seifer shifted under the golden glare that seemed to pierce his soul, and he lowered his head almost nervously to concentrate on Squall instead. The brunette, however, would only add to his uneasiness, for he dropped his gaze to the ground like a stone, avoiding Seifer's gaze.

"Squall? What's going on?"

"Indeed," a cold voice suddenly caterwauled from afar. "What is this supposed to be? 'Child of the Lion'? I gave you an order, Griever! Kill them!"

The Guardian force, however, did not move a single of those strong muscles that glided beneath the surface of its sable furred skin. Silence echoed between the two men, the sorceress and the spirit for quite a while, until Seifer again perceived movement in his arms.

He looked down upon the brunette, his face crumpled to a mask of confusion.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

There was helplessness in Seifer's voice, and slowly awakening panic. The air around them seemed to have changed – it was so tense with the foreboding of something severe that would happen in due time.

Squall still wouldn't look at him. The brunette was staring bleakly at the blood adorned white cross embroidered onto Seifer's dark blue shirt, until biting tears eventually blurred his vision.

Fiercely, he shook his head. It wasn't going to work like this. He couldn't allow himself to dwell, he would falter and he would fail if he did so. Wrenching his eyes shut against the blood that had been leaking out of countless lesions inflicted upon Seifer's flesh, Squall gathered his last residual bits of strength around himself and calmly pushed upwards onto his knees.

"S--Squall!"

Next to him, Seifer gave a hoarse gasp, and the blonde almost careened to the side at his attempt of steadying Squall on the ground. The SeeD, however, was not willing to be steadied. He freed himself from Seifer's embrace, pushing away the arms that had been comforting him. His body was shivering convulsively, protesting at the movement, but the brunette ignored it with much effort. Of course, inwardly he was cringing in pain, but not a sound stole past his lips.

He was going to do this.

"What are you doing? What's going on here?"

Seifer's voice came high and hitched, and his hand lashed out to curl itself around the flat of Squall's wrist. The SeeD winced at the touch, the left side of his chest contracting with misery. He had to force himself to focus.

"You can't get up, you-"

"I have to."

His words were bleached of emotions, had to be. Grinding his teeth together, he uncoiled his legs beneath his body and fully rose to an all too fragile stance, swaying like a leaf in a hurricane. Seifer stared at him from his kneeling position with wide, peridot eyes that understood nothing. His fingers still dug into Squall's skin like ironclad vices.

"Let go."

"No!" Seifer bristled, firming his grip as if to emphasize his point.

Squall sighed abjectly.

"I have to do this."

"What do you m-"

They flinched yet again, because Ultimecia's voice seemed to explode with strident wrath that was obviously hurled at her petulant guardian.

"What is this nonsense? Griever, I gave you an _order_, now fulfill it, wretched beast!"

Griever's animalistic head flicked around, studying the sorceress calmly. Then, he growled.

"He is the last Child of the Lion, bearer of the Seals of the Leonhart family. The decision over his life is no longer your's, sorceress, for my loyalty to him lies beyond your reach. I am his servant, and I will fulfill his wish."

It was impossible to tell who was more confused and more shocked – Seifer or Ultimecia. The sorceress probably had a much better idea of the Guardian's revelations, even if something unknown also stirred inside Seifer at those words. The blonde traced his own arm with his eyes, connecting with Squall's face almost pleadingly. The brunette would barely acknowledge him, but the painful glare in storm blue depths was impossible to overlook.

Something about this was very wrong.

"Squall… you're what… you…" he halted abruptly, jade green eyes suddenly kindling with comprehension. "Hold on. What did you wish for?"

The brunette smiled at him faintly, twirling slowly on the spot to face Seifer as well as to get better leverage. His breath came bubbling from his lungs, his insides shattered irreparably by Ultimecia's spell.

A child of the fate, perhaps or perhaps not, but without a doubt a child with determination. Screw destiny and its strange plans; he was going to live and die the way that he pleased and for _whom_ he pleased.

"You'll see," he whispered quietly, his lips flickering in the warm light of a smile. "Just trust me."

He gave his captured arm a gentle tug, and this time, Seifer released him without putting up a fight. As soon as he saw that sorrowful shadow darkening the brunette's gaze, though, he realized that he had made a mistake by trusting Squall and giving in.

"S--Squall! Wait!"

_'I'm sorry.'_

Squall took a few insecure steps backwards, quietly retreating towards the forms of Griever and Ultimecia without actually turning around to them. Seifer tried to lunge upon his feet immediately, but his legs caved beneath him in a final toll of his injuries and drained strength. He hissed sharply, and sudden fear laced his words as he ground them out to the brunette.

"Wait, don't! Stop!"

"It'll be okay," the brunette sighed. "I promise."

There was sadness in Squall's eyes, but there was resolve also. Yes, this really hurt; it always had, but for the very first time, he was not afraid. He had realized that it was worth going blind for just a glimpse of the one thing that really, truly had a meaning, the one thing he had always thought himself unworthy of – the thing that was love. For Seifer's sake and for the rest of the world, he was going to make this sacrifice, because every second of loving the blonde and knowing that he was safe meant more to him than an entire decade of his lifespan.

_..: 'Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' :.._

He turned with a mute snarl, abandoning Seifer with his body and his gaze. The blonde called out to him, but he tried to will Seifer's shouting into the background. It wasn't working very well.

Despite his lack of information, Seifer had come to understand that whatever Squall was planning, it was nothing to take lightly. More so, the darkness in the brunette's eyes had seemed oddly final, and the simple fact alone that Squall was walking towards Ultimecia and the Guardian Force that had claimed to be his servant was enough to make Seifer's breath hitch with panic.

"No! Stop right there!"

Seifer was shouting at the top of his lungs, desperately trying to stand and grab another hold of Squall, but the brunette had staggered out of his reach for good.

"Squall, stop! I won't let you do this! STOP!"

But Squall didn't stop. Each of his steps took him closer to the motionless form of Griever, and he left a trail of blood dripping from his left arm. He could barely see or hear through the effort that it took to place one foot before another, but Seifer's voice was burning in his mind all the same.

He winced.

_'I'm so… sorry. I have to… You'll understand.'_

Squall shuddered, even more so at the sickeningly high pitched sound of Ultimecia's voice.

"What do you think you're doing, SeeD! Thinking you can defy _me_! Griever, kill him or you will die right along _with_ that human scum!"

Ultimecia was still raging, standing in front of her throne and only at a short distance from the lion spirit, watching how the SeeD she had tried to kill so many times was slowly pacing to their both end.

"The true bearer of the Seals has been found," Griever declared without emotion. "I do not answer to your requests anymore, witch queen."

"You _will_ answer to me, you useless creature!"

Empowered by her fury, the dark sorceress suddenly coiled her hands to the air like gruesome black snakes, threateningly preparing for another obsidian limit break attack. As Seifer saw her launching the deadly onyx missiles, his body went rigid, his gaze flying towards Squall who was standing feeble, open and vulnerable. There was nowhere near enough strength left in either of them to protect themselves, let alone the other.

"Squ-"

The name of his love died clean on Seifer's tongue, silenced by the image of Griever pulling up a flawless magic barrier as if it was nothing, guarding both humans as well as himself against the onyx that shattered meaninglessly against the powerful spell, leaving not so much as a scratch on either of them.

Still, Squall's stance was swaying violently, if only because his body had been hurt beyond tolerance. He was near the Guardian Force now, and the lion spirit finally closed the space between them, shielding Squall from the enfuriated sorceress' view with its great wings.

Seifer could merely stare.

_'Griever…'_

_"I'm here. Are you ready?"_

_'I can't… hold on… much longer.'_

_"I know. It will all be over soon."_

_'I'm ready… then…'_

_"Do you wish to say good-bye?"_

_'I can't. I can't do… both…I can't.'_

_"I understand."_

_'I'm… ready.'_

_"The barrier will hold until you are ready to strike. She is focused on you, she will not harm him. She senses the danger. I will grant you the power to kill her, just like I promised. To set an end… to everything."_

Squall nodded painstakingly, responding to the deep voice that only he could hear. In front of him, the lion spirit roared majestically, truly king and leader of all life and all spirits.

"Child of the Lion. At the end of all hope, you have chosen life for the world and the Child of the Hunter, while taking nothing for yourself. You shall use the heavenly powers I was bestowed with to make your final wish — _reality_."

Before the last word had tumbled low and guttural from the Guardian Force's chest, the lion Griever had burst into a shining vortex of red and black light - a sphere of light so dazzling that it stung Seifer's tear-reddened eyes. All that he saw were blurry images of the spiritual light surrounding Squall's body like a cloud of sparkling fog that soaked into him, lifting his right arm and materializing at his fingertips into the long, straight perfection of the sword that had thus far been resting dead on the ground - LionHeart. But it was dead no longer, for the spirit had filled it with a fathomless crimson glow that could only hint at its new power.

"Oh no… no…"

Seifer couldn't believe what he was seeing, did not _want_ to believe what he was seeing. All the same, he could not deny it. The Guardian Force Griever had dematerialized and turned into some sort of bodiless, energetic spirit that was enveloping Squall's lean frame, supporting his broken body and steadying his sword arm.

What Squall was planning on doing with that spirit's force was far too clear.

"Squall! Don't! You'll…"

_..: "You'll kill yourself." :.._

Seifer's jade green eyes snapped wide at that thought, and his breathing became very still. He was down on his knees, wounded and broken, and even the fear of losing the man that he loved could not mend the fatal cracks in his strength. His body would rock to the ground at the mere attempt of struggling onto his feet… at the mere attempt of stopping Squall from sacrificing himself.

If Squall would really attack the sorceress in his current state, there'd be no way of saving him.

There had been none to begin with.

"Squall, NO!"

Tears stung in Seifer's eyes as he screamed the SeeD's name, but Squall didn't listen… couldn't listen. The sorceress already had him in her lethal aim, and he was dead set on stopping her.

"KURSE YOU!"

Angered by the sudden turn of the tides, Ultimecia was yet far from giving in. Even an enchantress as powerful as her, though, could not break the spirit barrier that protected Squall and gave him strength. Her missiles of piercing onyx deflagrated against the ward before they even came close to hurting the SeeD again. Swirling around Squall's figure and the new, lethal LionHeart like liquid ribbons, the spirit held more energy than anything the sorceress would ever be able to conjure up.

As that realization finally struck Ultimecia like a rush of ice, her face went pale.

_"It's time."_

At the sound of that soothing voice inside his head, Squall gazed calmly at the sword that he had grasped with his right hand. Glistening in all imaginable hues of red, it oddly reminded him of love and the one person that he connected with that feeling.

Seifer.

He flinched.

_'What if I fail…?'_

_"You are Squall Leonhart. You will not fail."_

This time, Squall did turn around to throw a last look at the blonde behind him. Seifer was still screaming his name, angry, afraid and agitated to the very core of his soul.

A sad smile stretched the SeeD Commander's lips.

Some things were of greater importance than even life itself.

_'You're right. I won't.'_

And as Squall whipped back around to face the sorceress and raise his sword before him, funneling all his energies and all his renegade strength in the dawning of a final limit break, he shattered Seifer's heart to pieces. The blonde yelled and cried out for the other to stop, but Squall would not hear it. Ever so slowly, the brunette SeeD adjusted the grasp of his hands around LionHeart's hilt, and as he aligned the blade in front of his face, his lucid blue eyes bore mercilessly into Ultimecia's struck amber ones.

"Your time is over. For once… and for all."

The burst of Griever's limit break, Shockwave Pulsar, hit Squall's body with impossible might, rocking through him with the force of thunder, the sear of fire, the chill of ice and the swiftness of water. When all elements and spirits that he had been blessed with united their powers in the greatest battlesome concord of all time, Squall Leonhart charged.

As both Seifer and the sorceress Ultimecia were rendered motionless as if caught in the eye of a storm, Squall channeled all his energy for one single, finishing blow. He was glowing with the burning wish to end this evil for all times, no longer leaving room for risks or trials – his will shone brighter than the sun, and it sought to banish everything in his path.

No matter the price.

**_flashback_**

_"… As you wish. I will tell you, young Leonhart. There… is more than the one choice I already gave you."_

_'What's the other?'_

_"If you order it, I can protect you long enough for you to escape this dimension."_

_'... But you cannot protect Seifer, or kill the sorceress at the same time?'_

_"No. I cannot. Even if you ordered me to, I am still bound to Ultimecia's orders in certain ways. However, you could run and recover, and you could call for help. I will not lie to you, young Leonhart, there is barely enough strength left in your body to run away, but if you set your heart on it, you could succeed."_

_'I will not set my heart on anything that doesn't involve Seifer's survival.'_

_"I see. Then, there really is only that one choice. And here is what you must know."_

_'What is it?'_

_"Your body is broken, young Leonhart. To defeat an enemy of Ultimecia's prowess, you will have to exercise a final limit break, chanelling my bodiless spirit. I will perish in the process, and I also cannot promise you that it will work. At this point, everything depends on your own, inner strength. As you see, there are no guarantees."_

_'I see… but… if you're willing to do it, then so am I.'_

_"I am. However... you, too, will perish. Your final limit break will claim your life, for the poison has spread far inside your body. It will also claim the lives of your Guardian Forces – Eden, Shiva and Bahamut. You will need all the power you can gather, and they are willing to assist you."_

_'I… I understand.'_

_"Now you know everything, Squall Leonhart."_

_'Yes. I do. And for that, I thank you.'_

_"Does that knowledge alter the decision that I read in your heart?"_

_'No.'_

_"Bear in mind that this decision may save the Child of the Hunter and eradicate the sorceress, but it will not save you."_

_'I know… I understand that. But still, that's what I choose.'_

_"Then your decision is death."_

_'No. Life. Not for myself, but for the one I love. If one wish is all I can have fulfilled, then I wish for nothing else but that.'_

----------

Nothing else but that.

And as he plunged the crimson blade into the nucleus of Ultimecia's heart, he knew that it was over.

Over.

But good, even so.

And as the spirits of Griever and all of Squall's Guardian Forces entered Ultimecia's body, tearing her apart in the pillar of an incandescent explosion of white light that turned the greatest sorceress of all times into nothing but shreds of dust, they left Squall's body, trading off the power to live for the power to kill.

Saving Seifer.

Fulfilling Squall's wish.

Putting an end to everything that was, and ever had been, the sorceress Ultimecia.

And when the Guardian spirits dematerialized at the sight of a final fantasy fulfilled, they perished into oblivion as nothing but vague memories, and the SeeD Squall Leonhart was driven to his knees.

Then, everything fell silent.

Seifer did not see their environment slowly phasing back to choppy rocks and faded grass. He did not see the evening sun setting on the horizon of a peaceful ocean, and the seagulls soaring across the reddening sky as if nothing had happened.

As if Squall wasn't dying.

On his blood-strewn hands and knees, Seifer dragged his injured body over the ground to the crumpled heap that was the man that he loved. The man that had sacrificed himself to save his life, because he had seen no other way.

The tears pooling in his eyes did nothing to ease his pain.

"Squall…"

As soon as his trembling hands touched Squall's body, the wrecked frame collapsed into his arms, robbed of all the powers that it had used to rid the world of the evil that had been the sorceress Ultimecia.

For once. For all.

"Oh, Squall…"

Sobbing, he crushed the brunette against him, burying Squall's face against the crook of his neck as he desperately rocked his fragile body back and forth.

"Sh…hh…"

At the cracked sound of Squall's voice, Seifer eased them apart slowly, gazing into a pair of sapphire eyes that was narrow with pain, but all the same filled with love and contentment.

"Why? Why… why…?" Seifer was choking under sobs, all the while staring at the only person that he had ever loved in his entire life.

The broken brunette smiled sadly. Shaking, he tried to bring his left hand to Seifer's face where he gently traced the blonde's scar, the scar that mirrored his own, and he left a streak of blood amongst the others. At the feeling of Squall running his finger over his skin so very softly, Seifer's heart was screaming.

"There… there was no other…" Squall swallowed dry against the pain, but his smile would not fade. "No other… way… it's... okay…"

Squall's features twitched, and his hand begun to shake more violently as he moved it along the blonde's cheek, a quiet touch like rain flowing down the sun kissed skin.

Seifer had never felt more helpless.

He had no potions, no phoenix downs. He started to roam the back of his mind for something, anything that he had that possessed healing powers… but there was nothing. He had no spells, and the only Guardian Force he had junctioned was Alexander, which was too feeble and too slow because he barely ever summoned it.

"Squall," he begged, while laying one hand against the side of Squall's head, "Squall, let me draw spells from you! I can heal you! Please!"

Tears pooled in the brunette's eyes, glazing them over like snow frosting on a blue mountain lake, and they fell silently as he slowly shook his head from side to side.

"You… can't… the barrier…"

But Seifer tried to dig into Squall's mind anyway, trying to find the pool that held his spells, but the mental barrier of pain and fatigue blocked him out. Squall's energy had run too thin for the brunette to tear it down on his own, and Seifer's injuries had drained his already little magical skills.

Squall was dying, and there was nothing that he could do.

"Squall, please… Hyne… don't give up," he whimpered, "I'll get you out of here, don't just give up, you hear? Please, Squall… just hold on… please…"

His hands roamed Squall's face, pushing away strands of chocolate brown hair that had been drenched in cold sweat. Squall's hand was still resting against his cheek, but had already stopped moving.

"Seifer… you can't… carry me… Not… not this… time…"

"Don't say that!" Seifer suddenly cried in frantic protest, bitter tears spilling down his cheeks as he wanted to punish himself and the world for what had happened to Squall. "I won't let you die, you hear me! I won't! I won't let you!"

"It's… alright… don't cry."

Seifer shook his head violently, not wanting to hear it. Squall couldn't die, it just wasn't fair. He was so good-natured, so pure inside his heart. He had done so much for this world, and he had never asked for anything for himself. He was and always had been the selfless hero, the one that everyone relied on.

The one that everyone loved.

_Everyone_.

For as long as Seifer could remember, Squall was the only person that he had ever cared for, from their early childhood on till that very day.

Squall was so stubborn, so frigid, so repulsive.

He was so beautiful, so brave, so proud.

There was nothing about the brunette that Seifer did not love, nothing that he did not want to protect. Ever since the first time he had set his eyes on Squall, he had wanted to be that fragile brunette's knight, his guardian, his friend. He had wanted to give his life to and for Squall, and Squall alone.

And now…

Frantically, he shook his head.

He wasn't going to give up. Not yet. Not like that.

"Squall," he drew a cracked breath, "I really love you… _I love you_, you hear? You can't leave me… I love you… Hyne… I love you more than anything in the world… please… please don't…"

"Seifer…"

Squall's lips twitched into a smile that was glowing endlessly warm and soft, despite all the pain that he was enduring with every fibre of his fading conscience. The beautiful power of Seifer's words, his frantic desire to hold on, they gave him just enough strength to whisper the one only sentence that all his life, he had always been too afraid to say.

"I love you… too…"

For as long as he could remember, Seifer had wished for nothing more than those words to be spoken from that man's lips. Trails of tears washed down his face, melting into the creases of Squall's hand, who was still smiling ethereally. Seifer's heart was bleeding, and he wanted to scream and rage in agony.

This wasn't right. This was so fucking unfair. There was so much that he wanted to say, so much that he wanted to do. But somewhere along the way, somebody had taken that power from him and left him with nothing to do but cradle Squall against his chest and cry tears of helplessness.

"… I… I always have."

At last, all strength left Squall. As his last words lingered in the air, etching themselves into Seifer's heart and soul with all their might, Squall looked up at his lover quietly, his last frayed breaths drawn arduously through crushed lungs. The silence echoed betweem them, a language of fear, love and misery, and Seifer tried desperately to hold on, to keep Squall alive by just the sheer power of his emotions…

… But though vigorous they were, it was still in vain.

As Squall's last breath danced between them like a snowflake in a gentle breeze, the tale of a hero came to an abrupt end. When a pale hand fell effortlessly to the ground, and the last spark of life faded from Squall Leonhart's eyes like the light of a dying candle that had been blown out much before its time had come, just what was Seifer to do but weep, and weep so very terribly as his lover died?

Just what could he do but cry out desperately for Squall to return, pleadingly gazing into empty pools of liquid sapphire, only to find darkness and shadow?

Just what could he do but rock the lifeless body back and forth, mourning the man that had been his everything ever since the beginning of their time?

What?

Just what…?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

.  
.  
.

**To be continued.**


	50. Of Gifts And Absolution

**Let Me Make It Alright**

Chapter 50: "Of Gifts And Absolution"

.  
.

It was a picture of rawest misery, painted with blood and tears on a canvas of black.

One broken man, holding another - cradling a drooping, dark haired head upon his knees.

Crying - tears that would never cease to flow.

Pain that would not go away.

Ever.

His voice had cracked eventually, but his lament required no words. He had lost everything - his love, his faith, his meaning. One look into shattered green eyes would have told all there was to know about that man's soul.

Broken. Beyond Repair.

He didn't know how long he had been kneeling out there. He didn't care, either. It had been a few minutes, but it felt like thousands of years.

The pain was still there. So was the numbness.

Numbness and pain. Two completely different ends of the same kind of spectrum, and he felt them both.

Of course.

Ever since Squall Leonhart's breathing had stopped, Seifer's hadn't steadied. His tears signed the brunette's skin, soaked his clothes, and though Seifer had finally brought himself to pull motionless lids close over dead blue eyes, he had only cried harder after that. He couldn't feel anything anymore – anything but grief.

His face inclined and veiled behind tresses of blonde hair, Seifer had his hands wrenched tightly into stark white fabric that had been littered with crimson blood. The skin beneath it was smooth, cold and pale like porcelain that had never felt before and would never feel again.

Nothing about his environment could touch Seifer's conscience. There was nobody there, anyway. They were a long way from town or Garden… too long, even by car.

He knew that already.

But as his muscles were trembling, steadily, he could feel how something bodiless and untouchable was lifted from his flesh – perhaps his heart?

Well, it was wrecked anyway, not any more alive than the corpse draped into the blonde youth's arms. Take it whoever will. He didn't care anymore.

His heart meant nothing without Squall.

Nothing at all.

"... So he has done it."

He startled in the depths of his despair, stirred to attention by the resonance of a calm, even voice. Inside his chest, his heart, which appeared to still be his own, slowed from its mad sprint to an alert crawl, and his head flicked up from its bowed condition, shed tears slipping from his jaw line at the suddenness of the movement.

"Wh-who…"

There was a strange noise that rung behind him, similar to the crunch of leather on rock, though it was strangely hollow, almost as if the sound was merely a memory of the real sensation. Seifer whisked around immediately, his hands never losing their grasp on Squall's motionless frame as his upper body twirled on the spot.

Then, he froze.

He didn't quite know what he was looking at. At first, he figured it to be a bodiless cloud of white haze, but as he blinked away the tears in his eyes he could make out the blurry silhouette of a man. Narrowing his sight and contracting his muscles in readiness, Seifer watched the mysteriously glowing shape with an odd feeling of acquaintance.

Yes, it was without a doubt the apparition of a man; a soldier even, judging by his attire. He was clad in a form-hugging uniform of pale colors and intricate designs, and he stood tall and proud against the waning cerise of the evening sky. His hair was straight and short, a rich gold in hue that contrasted sharply with the viridian green of his eyes, which were fixed upon Seifer's bent figure tacitly.

"Who… are you?" the gunblader asked carefully, his voice still grating with agony.

The blonde man did not answer him. Instead, he crossed his arms before his chest, and he paced languidly across the spur, circling Seifer until he stood only a few feet in front of him and the dead brunette. His face was hard, motionless even, and it gave away little about his age. Seifer would have estimated him to be in his late twenties, maybe younger, maybe not. It was difficult to say. Judging by his ghostly appearance, it probably did not matter, anyway.

Now, the stranger had lowered his gaze just slightly, attentively studying Squall's lifeless figure with interest that was perfectly concealed. As he tried to step closer, however, Seifer lashed out at him in blind hatred, despite the physical pain that was surging through every fibre of his body.

"Stay away! Don't touch him!"

The man heeded Seifer's dangerous and almost hysteric snarl with one of his own, though it lacked the raw edge. His arms did not change positions, and he remained rooted to the spot for the time being, not penetrating any further into Seifer's sensitive territory.

"I wasn't planning on harming him," the man stated monotonously. "Besides, the harm is already done, as you should know well enough."

"Shut the fuck up! Who are you!" Seifer snapped against the cold note of cynicism in the man's voice, his brows low over glittering jade eyes. "_What_ are you?"

The blonde stranger was regarding him with that unsettling, inquisitive stare, and within himself Seifer could feel the rising urge to hurt someone, _anyone_, for all the foul things that had come to pass.

For Squall's death, above everything else.

The man simply shrugged.

"Alexander."

Seifer blinked in surprise and mistrust at the curt statement, drawing a wet breath through his clogged up nose as he glinted at that strange apparition and lifted his voice to a cold grumble.

"Alexander is a Guardian Force. A mechanic beast. Don't fuck with me."

Then, he paused.

"Whoever the hell you are, do you have phoenix downs? Life spells?"

The man seemed unperturbed by both Seifer's rudeness and despair. He didn't move a single muscle, watching and listening with the patience of someone who had all the time in the world.

"No," the man finally replied neutrally.

Seifer couldn't help but flinch as he was yet again slapped with the cold reality of Squall's death. Once more, his eyes filled with tears, and his features curled with bitterness.

"Then get lost."

The apparition still stared at him mutely, with a gaze so icy and ageless that it ran a chill down Seifer's spine. The stranger's posture suggested carelessness, but there was just something about his face that belied that impression.

After a short pause, he spoke again.

"Even though I don't have any of those items that you request, you might still want to hear me out."

Seifer's face slanted at that suggestive remark, and involuntarily he pulled Squall's frame closer into his arms. Something about this situation was very unsettling, and he had to swallow against the lump in his throat.

What in Hyne's name was that… _man_ thinking, urging him to listen to some meaningless crap when he was filled with grief over his loved one's death, cradling Squall's very corpse in his lap?

This didn't make any sense.

"What do you want?" he finally hissed, ensuring to shadow his still croaky voice with a note of warning.

"For now, only that you listen to what I have to say."

"Then tell me who you really are. No bullshit."

"I wasn't 'bullshitting' you. I _am_ Alexander, even if I'm not appearing before you in the usual, summoned form that you might know. Check your mind for the junction if you want. You'll see that you're missing the link."

Indeed, as Seifer reluctantly scanned his mind for the presence of the Guardian Force Alexander, he had to find it gone. Slowly, he started to understand the strange sensation of extraction that he had felt earlier, when still buried deep in the pile of his misery.

"Judging by the look on your face, you know I'm telling you the truth," Alexander observed, not without a self-satisfied tone to his voice. "Now will you listen?"

Seifer couldn't bring himself to answer, but he nodded briefly all the same. He didn't know what was going on, his heart was still torn to shreds, merely looking at Squall's body brought wetness to trickle from his eyes, and the last thing he felt like doing was listening to a damned Guardian Force. As a matter of fact, he didn't feel like listening to _anyone_.

And yet…

"I saw what happened," the blonde man eventually continued, "And I must say that I was thoroughly surprised."

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Him," Alexander motioned towards Squall. "His sacrifice."

"And?" Seifer snapped bitterly, tears choking the word.

Suddenly, the cold sternness seemed to crumple from the strange Guardian Force's face, and he glanced at Seifer in what almost looked like pity. The picture was disturbing in a way, and soothing in another. Perhaps it was the confident green of his gaze, the way the corners of his mouth lost their tight hardness, or the gentleness in his voice when he spoke again – but either way, Seifer found his hatred quenched.

"You really love him, don't you?"

The mourning gunblader's features twitched silently at those words, which had sounded like a statement more than a question, and once more he gulped hard against the constriction in his throat.

"What is it to _you_?" he choked.

"More than you might think. More than _I_ ever thought," Alexander added vaguely, before he fixed the kneeling blonde with a long stare. "You really don't know who I am, do you?"

"No," Seifer agreed, his voice strained. "I don't."

"I thought so."

The strange, hazy Guardian Force that was the embodiment of a man slowly uncrossed his arms, and as he carefully walked up to Seifer, he dropped low into a perching position, his strong body curled into a perfect arch. There was still about an arm length's distance between the two blondes, but Seifer scowled warningly nonetheless. He had never been one to fear closeness, but he wanted nobody near Squall.

"Eighteen years ago," Alexander said softly, while snaring Seifer's green eyes with his own, "I was known by the name Alexander Almasy."

_..: "Alexander Almasy." :.._

It took a minute for that unexpected revelation to sink in, though Seifer had absolutely no idea what it meant. Puzzled, he stared back at the Guardian Force who claimed to share his last name, one of his hands wrenching a little harder into the fabric of Squall's blood-strewn shirt.

"… What?"

"Alexander Almasy. That was my name," the blonde man replied blankly, but his face changed dramatically at the next remark. "And you are my son."

This revelation, however, did not take any time at all to be absorbed by Seifer's tortured mind.

Because this one was simply absurd.

Tightening his grip around Squall, Seifer darkened his features with a dangerous frown, banishing all gentleness and patience from his reflection.

"Yeah fucking right. I knew you were just bullshitting me," he hissed rancorously. "Get the fuck lost!"

"I don't have time to bullshit you. Or should I rather say… _you_ don't."

"You are-"

"I'm your father, whether you'll believe it or not."

Seifer ground his teeth together. This was getting worse by the second. He could not believe that anyone would take the time to trample on him and his feelings in this moment of misery. What the hell ever had gotten into this… thing?

"Guardian Forces don't have kids," he snarled coldly, for a lack of anything better to say.

"Well, I wasn't always like this, of course," Alexander explained, though not without a trace of bitterness to his voice, while waving his arms in a demonstrative gesture around his own body. "I died, you see. Eighteen years ago."

"What? The hell are you talking about?"

"Just listen to me. Don't ask so many questions. We don't have much time, but this story needs to be told. I need to find…"

The man that claimed to be Seifer's father halted abruptly, and something came alight in his eyes that the younger blonde couldn't quite decipher. It looked like regret, guilt perhaps, but it was impossible to pin down. Alexander then glanced from Seifer to Squall, and he brought one hand to his mouth as if in thought, shifting a little in his kneeling posture. Then, his face grew stern again.

"You were born in Esthar," he finally continued, his voice oddly dull, "But those years were very… unfit for children. There was a war going on, as you know. The first Sorceress War. Adel… she… we… _I_ was Adel's sorceress knight. And you were just a little boy, not even two years old, hardly capable of taking care of yourself. You couldn't stay there. It wouldn't have been safe, not with everything that was going on. People were falling left and right. Not just the men... women and children, too. So I took you to the continent south of the Centra ruins. I knew of an orphanage there, because we had discovered it during our search for that strange girl, Ellone."

Alexander watched Seifer's reaction to that bizarre tale very closely, and he could see how the younger man's emerald orbs flared up in protest and confusion.

"Don't look so surprised," the Guardian smiled weakly. "Everyone has family, somewhere. You have parents just like everybody else does. Well… you _did_, anyway."

"But…" Seifer stuttered, now entirely taken aback. "How… why…"

"Believe me, it wasn't easy to take you away and just leave you on a foreign continent. But I figured that it was for your own safety. Those people there, they seemed… friendly. Much friendlier than Esthar was at that time, anyway. It was the only gift that I ever made you: to bring you away far from the war and the bloodshed, away from Esthar… away from your mother. I, however, had no choice but to go back. Adel needed me."

"My mother…?" Seifer repeated slowly.

"Yes."

"Who is my mother?"

"She's dead," Alexander replied, grief shadowing his face. "That's all you need to know."

"But-"

"No."

For a moment, Seifer could feel anger lacing his blood at Alexander's stubborn secretiveness, but he calmed himself immediately. Contrary to a young Squall, he had never much bothered to wonder about his origins, his parents or what had happened to them; it probably wasn't a good time to be picking up different habits now, he decided.

"Alright… then… why were you Adel's sorceress knight?" he asked quietly. "Why would you freely protect someone like her? Did she mind-control you too, or what?"

Now, Seifer thought that he saw something like pain flash across the apparition's face, but the expression was gone before he would have been able to take a better look at it.

"No. She didn't. She wasn't always… evil, you see," Alexander explained reluctantly, and it was obvious that the topic made him feel uncomfortable. "It's a very long story. Too long to be telling you right now. I'll only tell you what you must know."

"'Must know'? Must know for what?"

"You'll see. Just listen for now, please."

Inwards, Seifer was bristling against those words, but despite his grief, he couldn't fend off his curiosity.

"Fine."

"When I finally returned to Esthar, things had already gone very ill," Alexander continued gravely. "Adel had been tricked into confinement. I fought the man who had done it to her… it was a fierce battle that I ended up losing. I... died at that man's hands."

"Hold on a second," Seifer interrupted with a sudden hunch. "The man who confined Adel was..."

"Laguna Loire," the man completed his sentence coldly. "Current president of Esthar and Squall Leonhart's father."

This revelation did make Seifer think, heavily so. He stared at the pale brunette in his arms and at the ghostly man before him. There was so much bitterness in the air, borne from a fatal story that was echoing from a past long forgotten.

Somehow, Seifer felt as if he was clawing in a wound that had better remained untouched.

"You were killed by his father…?" he asked softly.

"Yes. And I was filled with immense grief over my death. That's why I returned, though it took me a few years to figure out how to go about it. Becoming a Guardian Force isn't easy, you know. It's an intricate process, and it usually takes a strong bond to the living world. I guess I was too bitter to pass over into death permanently, and though I knew I couldn't do much for Adel, I was still aching to protect you, my only child. That was my bond. However… I didn't do a very good job."

Suddenly, the Guardian smiled sadly, and his son could almost see himself in that gesture, in those angular features that would curl and stretch just slightly, sparks of natural luminosity lit by a mere upturn of ghostly lips.

Their familiarity could hardly be denied.

"I was selfish," Alexander continued flatly. "I was consumed with anguish over the things that had happened to you, me and the rest of our family. I cared more about my own revenge than I did about you and your feelings. There were countless times when I should have stopped you, when I should have interfered with the things you were doing and that were done upon you, but I did not. I failed the promise that I had made when I returned to you in that orphanage, when you were only four years old. To be there for you, and to watch over you, at least in spirit form."

He paused.

"I failed horribly."

"I… don't remember any of this," Seifer tried carefully.

"I know. After all, you did receive me very early in your life, and us Guardian Forces meddle with your memory quite a bit. I'm glad that Edea didn't end up taking me from you, knowing all that. Well, I suppose she left Griever to that girl, Ellone, too."

"I never asked myself where I had gotten you… What was I thinking… I don't remember anything at all..."

"That's fine. It doesn't matter. What matters is that I failed as a guardian and as a father. I should have acknowledged how much this boy meant to you, but I wanted to ignore it. To me, he was only the son of the man who robbed me of my life. The Child of the Lion… tche. Yeah, that was all that he was in my eyes, and I would have gladly seen you kill him."

Alexander cocked his head backwards, gazing into the swirls of red and gold in the sky in what almost looked like longing, but was in fact regret.

"You and Squall are very different, you know," he continued with a strange smile, gluing his sight back onto his son. "You were rivals from day one, and I never thought that you would actually come around to loving each other. I definitely didn't _want_ to think that, either."

Hesitantly, Seifer looked at the boy in his arms, who was beautiful even in death. He was beginning to understand, and yet he was more confused than ever before in his life.

Laguna Loire had killed his father, the sorceress knight of the evil Adel. Seifer had never heard of a man named Alexander Almasy, but then again, the dark years of Adel's rule were never much talked of. His father had been 'living' with him all these years, never lifting a finger to interfere with, well, anything. The man seemed to blame most of his reluctance on Squall, the 'Child of the Lion', or rather so, Alexander's past and Squall's blood.

Child of the Lion…

"What is this 'Child of the Lion' thing, anyway?" Seifer finally asked.

"It's just a title, given by the spirits. It doesn't actually hold much meaning. What _does_ hold meaning are the people behind those titles, as well as their fates. The spirit world calls you the Child of the Hunter, and him the Child of the Lion. Once again, it's just petty titles meant to sum up a human's personality."

Alexander seemed almost annoyed when giving that explanation, and it was obvious that he didn't hold a very high opinion of spirits and their ideas of life and destiny. Yet, he could see that his son was all too intrigued, and if only for Seifer's sake, he continued.

"You, Seifer, carry that name because you possess all traits of a hunter, or a knight if you prefer. They're more or less the same thing in my eyes. You're strong, righteous, unyielding and rather strong headed when it comes to pursuing something that you want. Squall, on the other hand, possesses all the characteristic traits of a lion – he's a loner, proud, noble, ferocious and blessed with an immense tolerance for suffering. You two are like predator and prey - two fates on opposite sides of the same medal. By your histories and your personalities, you were always meant to be rivals. It was in your nature. Both his and yours."

The man kept glancing back and forth between them, reluctance and admiration both evident in the milky, angular lines of his ghost-like face.

"And yet, despite all that, despite the years of rivalry and anguish between you... he willingly gave his life for you. The prey saved the predator…" Alexander muttered in awe. "That is truly rare."

It wasn't until then that Seifer came to grasp something; the deeper meaning behind those revelations perhaps, he couldn't quite say, but it was there, gaining in strength, and it sparked a flame of hope that had already been dead like ash.

"Do something," he suddenly pleaded, his eyes wide like those of a child. "I know you can! Why else would you be telling me all this! Kill me if that's what it takes to bring him back, undo what happened, I don't care!"

The Guardian cast a long, intent look at the lifeless brunette, and he calmly shook his head from side to side, immediately killing the flare that had come alight in Seifer's soul.

"I cannot undo what happened. I cannot take your life for his, either. I'm sure that's not what he would have wanted, anyway. It would make his sacrifice meaningless, because he already chose to forsake his life in a bargain for yours."

"Then what is all this good for…?" Seifer breathed whiningly. "What?"

"What about your past?" Alexander asked quietly. "Don't you want to hear more?"

"I don't care," the blonde replied fiercely, and he ran one hand across Squall's icy forehead, biting down the tears that threatened to erupt anew. "I don't care about anything but him. I'm tired of chasing after memories and dreams. I don't give a damn about the past."

Again, the former sorceress knight named Alexander Almasy paused for a while, apparently caught in deep thought. Then, he nodded his head, very peacefully so, as if there were things that he had finally come to understand.

"Perhaps you're right. I see that there is no way to alter what has happened, no matter how much I wish that I could. The past cannot be changed. I should've realized that a long time ago. I guess the only way to set things right is in the here and now."

Seifer's head flicked up in confusion at the sudden raw raspness in that statement, and he saw how Alexander extended an arm, placing his hazy fingers against Squall's temple.

"Don't touch him!" the gunblader snarled, his voice trembling with resolve over defending his friend's body against the man who had hated him so much, but he fell silent as Alexander retracted his hand again in an almost gentle fashion.

"It's not too late yet," the Guardian observed neutrally. "His spirit still resides in his dead shell."

"That doesn't help me!" Seifer hissed bitterly. "I don't have any phoenix downs or life spells! I can't bring him back!"

"I know that, Seifer."

And with that, Alexander returned his strident green gaze to Seifer's. Immediately, the twenty year old recognized the flickering expression in those eyes – he had seen something similar before, rippling across a surface of deepest blue.

Fatality.

"I have done nothing for you these past years," Alexander said calmly, regret finally seeping into his formerly emotionless words at last. "And though I won't be able to make up for my mistakes as a father and a guardian, maybe I can still strive for absolution."

Absolution.

Seifer sucked in a quick breath.

"What are you-"

"Us Guardian Forces are much more powerful than you might think," Alexander interrupted him. "Our powers go far beyond those that we offer our bonded to use. Surrendering our immortal spirits for someone else can do… strange things. You have seen it for yourself. Squall's guardian Griever sacrificed his spirit to save you and the rest of this world from certain destruction. I guess... it's now on me to return the favor. It's time for me to finally… rest… anyway. And I hope that, some day, you can forgive me for all that I have done wrong… son."

As one corner of Alexander's mouth twitched in the semblance of a desperate smile, full of longing for a happy past that none of the men on that spur had been granted, he turned his gaze away from Seifer, placing his left hand on Squall's motionless chest and the other on his forehead with utmost gentleness.

It was true – he would never be able to change the past, to somehow make it brighter than it had been and chase away the shadows and the pain that littered it, but there _was_ one thing that he _could_ do:

To allow the past to become what it really was, and to give his son and the dead boy in his arms what they really, _truly_ had wished for.

A _future_ - together.

And with that, he whispered words that Seifer would never in his life come to forget -

"_This is my final gift_. _Cherish it, cherish it every day, and may you forever keep the happiness that you almost lost._"

- Words that commenced a chain reaction, a movement in the air and in the flow of time, and that brought the spirit of Alexander Almasy to slowly perish in a soft nova of light, shining from within and seeping from vanishing hands into the fine lines of Squall Leonhart's body. Seifer gasped harshly, unable to comprehend what was going on, and he even went so far as to gingerly stretch his fingers for the spirit of his father, but he could not touch it. There was a quiet whistle that surrounded him, a sensation of loss that caused his already aching heart to contract -

And then, there was life.

As the light and the spirit of his father were fading, a last smile stretching Alexander's lips in an infinite reflection of love and gentleness, Seifer could feel the body in his arms stirring abruptly. Squall's chest was rising sharply, sucking in a desperate mouthful of oxygen, causing twitching eyelids to snap wide open over orbs of most sanguine and most alive ocean blue.

_..: Alive. :.._

The brunette was coughing harshly, his frail frame convulsed by shivers that were common to the sensation of resurrection, but he was still enveloped by a last shadow of that spiritual glow. It soothed him, running down his skin with a touch soft as feathers, closing the slash wound that had been inflicted upon his arm and curing all the cracks deep within his body. Only as there were no more injuries to heal, no more mistakes to undo, the soul of the sorceress knight Alexander finally drifted away with a quiet, waning sigh, leaving the mortal world for once and for all.

"S-Squall…?"

Breathless, frozen with every muscle, Seifer stared down upon the young man in his arms, his eyes simply not daring to believe the wonder.

The gift.

"_**Squall!**_"

The awakened brunette was gazing back at him blankly, his face contorted with confusion and disbelief at the harsh outcry. He had been snatched from the jaws of death, returned to the man that loved him, granted life in return for an immortal spirit, but he had no idea what was going on.

Seifer gave him no time to understand. He crushed Squall against his chest, crying and shouting and laughing all at the same time. He didn't care about his own wounds, his own weakness. Squall was his strength, and he never wanted to let go again.

"Squall, Squall, _Squall_!"

His breath was hitching in his throat, and he couldn't help the tears that spilled from his eyes. He didn't want to, anyway. He had never once been happier or thought himself more blessed in his entire life, and no laughter or cry would ever convey how he felt inside.

The feeling was unbelievable - it threatened to burst his soul with all its might, and it was more than he had ever dared to hope for in his wildest, most unrealistic dreams.

In his ironclad embrace, the brunette shifted slightly, and he muttered something into Seifer's clothes that the blonde could not understand. Finally, still rambling hysterically, Seifer could push himself to ease their bodies apart. Squall's lips were stretched into a confused smile, but it faltered slightly as he saw the tears in the blonde gunblader's eyes, though they seemed overshadowed by the ecstatic joy in Seifer's voice.

"Oh my god… oh my fucking god… you're back, Hyne, _you're really back_!"

Squall smiled yet again, and he shakily used his thumb to wipe away the wetness that spangled Seifer's skin.

"Y-yeah," he whispered unsurely, his voice still cracking from the strain. "Even though I have no idea how I-"

He had no chance to finish that sentence, because Seifer swallowed his questions with the deepest, most heartfelt kiss that had ever been borne from the lips of any living or dead being. It was him who was trembling now, afraid of Squall leaving him ever again. His arms snaked around the brunettes back, pulling him closer and closer until their bodies almost melted together. He could feel Squall embracing him just as vigorously, while their tongues were dancing in the most ancient rhythm that the world knew.

Finally, Squall broke the kiss, and his lips seemed to lift to a grin.

"Hey, calm down," he chuckled softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I-I thought I had lost you…"

The brunette frowned a little at that remark, and he remembered only too well what had happened. Immediately, he glanced at the wounds etched into Seifer's flesh, concern streaking his voice as he spoke.

"You're hurt."

"It's nothing. I don't feel it."

"I figured as much," Squall smiled, but he pulled out of Seifer's embrace and sank upon his shins before the blonde all the same. "Let me take care of it."

Before Seifer could have protested, Squall had brought his hand to his forehead, effortlessly channeling the energies of a curaga that he unleashed upon his hurt friend. It soothed the blonde's injuries immediately, completely closing even some of the deeper ones. Squall repeated the process until he was assured that Seifer's energies had been mostly restored. Then, he drew a deep breath, studying the gunblader that would not take his eyes off him.

"Better?" he asked gently.

"I've never been better in my entire life."

Squall blushed faintly at that statement, and though his skin was still a little pale, he seemed to be glowing from within. He was so beautiful that it brought tears to Seifer's eyes once more, and he threatened to break down crying like a child. Before him, Squall attempted to stand, wanting to pull Seifer up with him to draw him into a real, comforting hug, but something suddenly hit the floor with a soft clatter.

Seifer blinked, finding a wadded up piece of paper and a flat, plastic box laying next to Squall's right thigh. The stuff had obviously slipped out of the brunette's pocket, and Seifer stretched his hand for them, taking them into his palm to gaze at them in confusion.

The paper looked oddly familiar.

"What is this?" he inquired curiously.

The blush gracing Squall's high cheek bones intensified, and he slid a little closer to Seifer's body, shuddering in bliss at the comfortable heat and the soft breath that tingled across his skin as Seifer turned to him.

"That's the paper plane you made," he explained, his tone soft.

Indeed, the blonde suddenly remembered. It was the origami plane he had folded out of Squall's note, the one that the SeeD had written before their date. He vaguely recalled having set it onto their dining table. The paper was all dishevelled and scrunched up now from being shoved into Squall's pocket, but it was definitely the same.

"You took it?" he asked dumbfoundedly.

"Yeah," Squall admitted, embarrassment blending with the clear tone of his voice. "I figured you'd just toss it, since it has my writing on it and… I mean, you were angry enough. So I took it."

"You're silly," the blonde replied lightly, but he was touched deep within. "I'd never toss anything that has to do with you."

Then he pointed at the flat, dark blue plastic container.

"And what's this?"

"That," Squall drawled uneasily, "Is something I meant to give to you last night… at least I think it was last night… it seems so long ago, I don't even know anymore."

"Can I open it?"

"Yeah. Of course."

As Seifer opened the lid of the box with a soft click, he stared in awe upon a shining, silver necklace that seemed fairly short, the kind that the blonde loved so much, and that was embellished with a pendant in the fine shape of a cross – the same type of cross that adorned Seifer's most favorite trench coat.

"It's beautiful," the blonde stuttered in awe.

"It's your's."

Squall shrugged softly. He definitely was not used to making other people gifts, particularly not the man that he loved. Seifer gazed at him in disbelief, the necklace now in his hand instead of in the velvet inlay of the box. When the blonde turned it over, he noticed a slopy, custom engraving on the back of the pendant.

_- Thank You. Always. -  
_

When Squall nodded at him helplessly, he pulled the brunette close once more, breathing hotly against his skin as he buried his head in the crook of Squall's neck.

"I'm the one who should be thankful," he whispered, powerful emotions grating every of his words.

The SeeD smiled gently, his hand tracing circles at Seifer's back.

"I love you," the brunette murmured, rocked inwardly by the beauty of those words.

"Hyne, I love you too, Squall," Seifer replied, his voice trembling with passion as he tightened his hold. "I'm so glad you're back… So glad..."

They sat that way for a while, buried in each other's embrace, relishing the love and the happiness that had almost been taken from them. Everything around them was suddenly good and beautiful, especially the peaceful cries of seagulls in the distance and the gentleness of the sun that warmed them generously without asking anything in return.

It truly was a gift.

As Seifer remembered, he edged their bodies apart, though not without breathing another soft kiss on Squall's lips. The brunette's eyes were sparkling when Seifer fastened the gorgeous present around his neck, marvelling at the streak of silver on tanned skin. Then, the blonde took the wretched paper plane, and he refolded it with almost reverent care.

"Come on," he said when he had finished, taking Squall's hand and pulling them both up into a standing position.

"What are you doing?"

But Seifer didn't answer, and Squall followed his lead to the ledge of the spur willingly. Far, far beneath them, the waves were crashing ceaselessly upon the rocks, breaking into foamy caps of purest white. The sun was still descending, tinting the water in hues of crimson and gold. This was the ocean that they both loved – endless, powerful and deep.

It was an ocean of memories created throughout many years, and an ocean that resembled their love more than anything else.

Squall squeezed his hand very gently, and Seifer gazed back at him in affection. After all these years, his wish of loving Squall and being loved in return had finally been granted, and no man could have possibly been happier than Seifer was that very moment – nobody, except for Squall.

Finally, Seifer cast another long look at the plane he held between his fingers, reminiscing a story that had mattered little to him altogether, but that had been told by the man that had saved Squall's life.

_..: "This is my final gift." :.._

And as he launched the plane into the air and watched it dance and twirl on the currents of the winds, drifting away to the fathomless waters that lay before them, Seifer smiled at the memory of his father and at the future that he had been given.

"Thank you."

Squall's blue eyes glanced at him in bewilderment at those softly whispered words, but Seifer merely shrugged, pulling Squall away from the drop-off to the sea.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you on the way back home."

_Home._

Squall bore the heels of his biker boots into the rocky earth, his hand still firmly seizing Seifer's. There was love in the fine lines of the brunette's face, but there was fear also. Seifer blinked in confusion at the sudden change, overwhelmed and slightly worried.

"Squall? What's wrong?"

"Seifer…" the brunette said, concern meshing with the way he ground out the blonde's name. "Are you still going to leave Balamb like you said you would? Are you… are you still… going to leave... me…?"

The older man stood frozen at that question for a moment, startled deep within by the raw and unguarded emotions spilling from Squall's every feature. Squall's intention, and the true meaning of those carefully chosen words, had been very clear.

_..: "Please. Don't leave me." :.._

It did not take long before Seifer's chafed lips eased into the most reassuring of smiles, a beautiful reflection of the same smile that had saved Squall's life mere minutes before.

_'I'll never leave you.'_

And as he used their entwined hands to pull Squall into his arms and draw him into a fierce embrace, he calmly shook his head from side to side, gazing down upon the shorter brunette with all the love that he felt from the very bottom of his heart. His jade green eyes shone sincerely from behind tresses of purest gold, and Seifer's response was embedded in that one silent kiss that he placed upon lips that were still parted in question - mutely promising all that he was and ever would be to this one guy alone.

_'I'll always be with you, Squall. Always. No matter where you go, I'll follow.'_

Seifer's body needed no words to speak a powerful language of love, trust and eternal dedication. And when Squall eased into Seifer's touch, matching the blonde's vigorous heartbeat with his own and laughing blissfully inside as well as out, there was no doubt at all that he had understood.

Sometimes, the best kind of answer has no sound.

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**The End.**

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Well, this is it. This is the last chapter to "Let Me Make It Alright" o.O I cannot thank each and every one of you enough for your wonderful and faithful support throughout the length of this story. It would be nothing without you, and I'm not ashamed of admitting that. LMMIA was born out of boredom at some point, with no real drive or direction to it, but your interest, comments and concerns have turned it into what it is: damned 50 chapters and 153,673 words long, each of which I enjoyed putting onto paper.

For that, I thank you, because I probably had more fun writing than you did reading.

Now, I hope that, after all, you enjoyed the end. One way or another, I just couldn't leave Squall dead. I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings. I feel unsatisfied if a story doesn't have a happy ending. I know this chapter is probably some of the greatest mush I have ever written, but I think the world can always do with some more mush. There is angst enough, isn't there?

There are plot twists galore, but I do hope that I could make them somehow believable. I've always wondered about Seifer's past, his family, and this is the theory I came up with. Maybe it'll make some sense. I decided on not going into details on who Seifer's mother is, but maybe you can figure that one out on your own. I'm sure you can. Anyway, I believe that Seifer is not the kind of guy to be brooding on the past too much, that's why I didn't have him pry for it (it would have been pointless, anyway). I settled on drawing the story (and Seifer's past) to a close instead of pulling up another whole side arch.

…Hope it worked!

That said, it's now time for Seifer and Squall to have some fun on their own, without me. I've put them through enough. Maybe I will come around to writing a sequel to LMMIA some day, but I'm not sure. I have too many other ideas in my head as of right now, but we'll see. Of course, I will not stop torturing SxS entirely. "The Devil's Own" is currently in process, and I also have plans for a SxS high school AU. That will be out there one of these days.

"Yeah… this is it," to put it with Squall's words. It's almost painful to bring everything to an end after so many months of work, but alas, it can't go on forever. I cherish every chapter, but more so, I cherish every single review that I received from you guys. Thank you just so very much. If I think about this any more, I'm going to fucking bawl. At this point, I'm out of words. If you still have any questions about the story or just want to talk, feel free to email me. I love to chatter and mail!

Once more, thank you for all the support and criticism. I love you all to death for that.

_.oO Angry Angel Oo._


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